CatMan: Hey Tony! Are you free tonight?
Tony Stark: Why? You need me to suit up and beat some bad guys?
CatMan: I'm in town with Everett and I promised him a romantic evening out but our babysitter got sick.
Tony Stark: So you need me to look after the baby panther while you sex your husband?
CatMan: Well... Yeah.
Tony Stark: OK. You're lucky I love that cute little human of yours.
CatMan: Thank you! You might have just saved my hide.
Tony Stark: Kiss your hubby from me ;)
CatMan: NO! STAY AWAY FROM EVERETT!
Tony Stark: Sheesh. You can keep your spy, he's not my type anyway.
***
My Precious: I found new babysitter! Our plans are GO!
Kitten: Thank god! I'm gonna wrap this meeting up real fast and see you at the hotel.
My Precious: I'll get the baby's stuff ready for when Tony comes.
Kitten: Tony? Are you sure he's up to it? I saw him eat our wedding cake. Our entire wedding cake. We might need a babysitter for our babysitter.
My Precious: Tony spend three days working on a new suit for Spiderman prior to that and was a bit hungry. He's good with kids. I'm sure everything will be fine.
***
Tony Stark: I hope I'm not interrupting anything but that baby of yours just got broccoli puree all over himself.
Tony Stark: I'm gonna give him a bath.
Tony Stark: How do you give babies a bath?
Tony Stark: Nvm. I asked FRIDAY.
Tony Stark: I guess you guy are busy.
Tony Stark: Don't forget to wrap it!
Tony Stark: Babies are cute and all but damn it's a lot of work.
Tony Stark:Care to explain this?
Tony Stark:
Tony Stark: I guess he takes after you, huh?
CatMan: Oh Bast! Tony, did you bath him? He hates water!
Tony Stark: I got that. How do you usually bath him tho? Like cats do? Do I have to lick your baby?
CatMan: Don't lick our baby! Just wrap him up and put some hot bottle in his crib.
Tony Stark: No need. He just fell asleep on me. Awwwww... I changed my mind. Don't wrap it, T'Challa! The world needs more baby panthers!
CatMan: We'll be there soon.
Tony Stark: No rush. We're good. Damn, now I want one myself.
***
Mr Stark: Just a hypothetical question. If we had a baby will it shape-shift into a tiny spider?
Underoos: What?
Mr Stark: Baby spiders are not cute, are they?
Underoos: I don't know, Mr Stark. I guess it depends on whether or not you like grown-up spiders?
Mr Stark: I see. Well, I guess we'll find out eventually.
Underoos: Find out what?
Mr Stark: Baby spiders, Peter! Are you free tomorrow evening?
Underoos: Yes!
Mr Stark: Then it's a date. I'll pick you up at 7.
***
CatMan: Thank you for yesterday and not making a big deal out of it.
Tony Stark: No problem. Can I babysit for you again? I'll need more practice with little humans before my own is born.
CatMan: You have a baby on the way? Congratulations, Tony!
Tony Stark: It's a bit early but thank you!
CatMan: How early?
Tony Stark: I'd say minus one day? Maybe minus a week if Peter insists on the third date thing.
CatMan: ...
CatMan: ...
CatMan: ...
CatMan: You're unbelievable. But we wish you two all the happiness in the world.
Tony Stark: Thanks!
***
My Precious: Tony Invited us to his wedding!
Kitten: Good. But he better have two cakes. I'll get my revenge.
My Precious: Eating the whole wedding cake is bad for you, Love.
Kitten: Well, I'll be eating for two, so...
My Precious: Really?
Kitten: Shit. Not how I wanted to tell you but yeah, we'll have another one soon.
My Precious: I'm the happiest man on Earth! Thank you!
Kitten: We might actually thank Tony for that. If he didn't babysit that night we wouldn't have a chance to make baby number two.
My Precious: Oh. Then we must get him the best wedding present.
Kitten: We can ask Shuri to make iron onesie?
My Precious: Yes, we'll ask Shuri to make iron onesie. Tony will love it.