Rough Times

Peter wondered sometimes if Mr. Murdock made it out okay.

He hoped he did, so much that it hurt to think about the man. There is nothing more that Peter hoped for (besides for everything that had happened to just have been a nightmare,) than for him to be okay. He just wanted to see him again, to see his half smile and get a one armed hug as he knelt down.

Peter explained it to Tony once, motions almost as heavy as the words he could taste in his mouth. The sorrow and fear soaked through and emerged from his hands, so heavy that he was surprised to see that they're dry. Tony stared at him, mouth turned down, eyebrows creased and worry in his eyes as Peter finished.

Why didn't you say anything before? Tony signed to him with a similar weight. If I had known we would have searched harder. I would've made sure we searched harder. Peter contemplated the words he can't hear and it's like a ringing in his ears except he can't hear it, he can't hear anything but he can see Tony's face. It looked worried, lines increasing the longer his hands are still at his side's.

It was too much, he signed after much deliberation. I was scared. I wanted to leave with you and be safe, I wasn't thinking of anyone else. Just signing the words give Peter some comfort, that in a few moments he would be back in the farmhouse and Tony would wrap his arms around him, tracing patterns on his shoulders through the layers of cloth, where he can stare at Bruce or Natasha or someone just reading quietly.

I'm sorry though kiddo. Tony's face wasn't as worried anymore but he looked regretful, making sure that Peter was looking him straight in the face. It wasn't your responsibility to try and gather people, it was mine.

I know. But it still feels like it.

It will get better someday Peter, I promise.

I know dad.

~~~~
Before

The plan was simple, but Tony knew Peter would fight it.

When he thought about it, it made sense to him. Tony would go alone to Scotland - to help negotiate, as all the government officials and federal agents, plus a whole lot more credentialed people that he should probably know the name of that had been non stop calling him for the past 7 hours had said - and when it seemed like the coast was clear, Peter and Happy would fly over.

Tony even got into contact with Ned’s mother, asking (begging) her to take the boy in just for a couple of days. Thankfully she had agreed immediately, because if she hasn't Tony might've had to send Peter to Matt's. And that was something that he really didn't want to do. It was bad enough the man was as smug and confident as Tony, but if Peter only had access to two men like that who knew how the boy would turn out?

He would’ve been fine with Happy just occasionally checking up on the boy, except for the part where everyone kinda knew about Peter and that Tony would be gone. What if someone decided to try and break into the tower and Peter got hurt? He wouldn't have been able to live with himself.

And then, after making sure this whole operation was legit (because Tony was nothing if not paranoid) Tony would have Peter and Happy flown to Scotland to join him.

Yes, in Tony's head the plan was foolproof. But the look on Peter's face when he finished going through the details with him told Tony the boy didn't exactly agree.

“No!”

Peter didn't so much yell the word as say it louder than usual, face screwed up as tears threatened to fall from his eyes.

“I thought you wanted to see Ned and go to school, work with me Peter!” Tony begged the boy. He watched helplessly as Peter began to cry, breath hitching as he continued.

“I did, but not without you!” Peter said. “If you have to go to Scotland, I wanna go too!”

“I want you to come too Peter, but what if this is ploy? What if something goes wrong? There's way too many unknowns right now kid.” Tony explained, but he could tell his words with getting him nowhere.

“But it isn't fair! You woke me up and just sprang this on me Tony. I'm scared and worried and I don't want you to fly! What if the plane crashes? And I never see you again? Why do you have to go?” the boy was hyperventilating then, sobs cutting off any air he might have been able to get.

Tony felt like a jerk instantly. He knew about Peter's parents - how they died in a plane crash, and yet he was still insensitive enough to bring up his own flight? And ask Peter to fly later?

He knew Berlin had been different, the kid had probably been caught up in all of the excitement that the fight brought with it. But this time, it was scary circumstances. Tony got that, he felt it too.

“Peter, the plane isn't going to crash. I promise you that. And you will see me again, because you'll join me in a few days, right? Please Petey, just take a deep breath.” Peter followed his instruction, taking a deep shuddering breath and closing his eyes tight for a moment.

“Ms. Leeds is going to look after you for a couple of days Peter. You'll go to school with Ned and MJ, and I'll be in contact every day. I know that I'm springing this on you out of the blue, but if this isn't taken care of now it will probably get way more out of hand.” Tony explained to the boy. He had drawn the boy in at some point, his arms wrapped tight around the boy as he slowly stopped crying.

“And then I'll come with you?” Peter asked, drawing back to look at Tony.

“Of course kiddo.” Tony promised. “I just gotta make sure that everything is safe.”

“Okay,” Peter sniffed. “I don't really like it but it makes sense.”

“That's life kiddo,” Tony smiled at the boy as he rolled his eyes at him. “Just a bunch of crap that makes sense but you don't really like. And sometimes it doesn't even make sense.”

“When are we going to Ned’s?” Peter asked, changing the subject.

“Ummm….now. Happy is down with the car once we get down there.”

“What?” Peter cried out, more annoyed than upset. “It's too soon Tony, I can't even prepare to go there. I haven't even packed yet, and we have to go now!”

“I had Happy pack your stuff, it's all already in the car.” Tony said dismissively. The boy blinked at him and seemed ready to question him, but changed his mind and merely shook his head.

“I can't believe you have to go today,” Peter said instead. “He only called yesterday.”

“That's what happens when you're an internationally known superhero,” Tony told him. “Makes you thankful you were a friendly neighborhood Spiderkid, huh?”

“Spiderman, Tony! I'm twelve!” Peter protested, even as he smiled at the man. They began to walk towards the elevator, not having exactly found a middle ground or called a truce but gotten as close as they probably ever would.

“Exactly Peter,” Tony winked at the kid. “Now let's get in the car, okay? This is probably gonna be a quick drop off.”

~~~~

When Happy pulled up to the curb outside of Ned’s house, Tony had fifteen minutes to drop Peter and be back in the car to make his flight. Which was never going to happen but it was always nice to have a timeframe, he guessed.

Ms. Leeds opened the door before either Tony or Peter could knock, smiling politely at them as they deposited four heavy suitcases full of Peter's stuff into her house.

She didn't seem flustered or confused as to why Tony was even taking care of Peter, having probably gotten some version of the story from Ned. But it did strike him as a little bit odd that the fact that Tony himself didn't seem like a big deal to her.

Was Tony a little taken aback that so many new people in his life had not been instantly flustered and/or enamored that he was Tony Stark? No, of course not. Well, only a bit and it was only because he was so well known. That wasn't vain, was it?

Okay, yes. Tony was just a hint vain, and he had good reason to be.

But with Ms. Leeds he was just grateful for how calmly she had taken his pleas, listening to his story before agreeing to house Peter for a few days. Honestly, if someone had called Tony at around four in the morning and begged them to take a kid in, he would say no.
Except for the fact that he had already gone through that and said yes, for Peter. Maybe it was just a Peter thing then, who knew.

“Ms. Leeds, thank you again for looking after Peter,” Tony said to the women. “On such short notice and all.”

“No problem Mr. Stark, Peter is always welcome here.” she said. Peter perked up as Ned came to the door, waving them both in with excitement.

“Dude, this is so cool! You're gonna have to be bottom bunk though, sorry.” Ned said. Peter groaned but continued to smile, just happy to see his friend after such a long time. Tony watched him with fondness at the way that the kid got so animated.

“This should only be a few days,” Tony explained to Ms. Leeds. “I'll call you again later sometime to confirm when I'll pick him back up.”

“We'll keep him for as long as needed Mr. Stark,” she said. “He's like a son to me.” Tony nodded at the words, feeling a bit guilty that he never thought of getting in contact with her before last night. She clearly cared deeply for Peter, enough to take the boy in for days at a time.

He cleared his throat, looking at the time on his watch. Just a few minutes before Happy would have to drive him to where he would board the plane - because of course it wouldn't be in airport. That was just a bit too mainstream for government officials.

“Mind if I talk to Peter just for a minute? I have to rush out, go take care of official business.” Tony forced a grin on his face at the words, not wanting to worry anybody.

It would be hard enough most likely to keep Peter's current whereabouts a secret, but if he scared Ms. Leeds she might accidentally let it spill that Tony had told her something, and then it would just become a huge mess where everyone collectively found out Peter's whole identity which Tony could accept was going to happen, but it was a little early for that.

“Of course.” she nodded before beckoning to Ned. “Ned, help bring Peter's bags in, alright? Don't complain!” Ned rolled his eyes but smiled at Peter as he brought a bag in.

Tony dragged Peter behind him as they started to move his stuff into Ned’s room, far enough away that they could talk at a reasonable volume without being overheard.

“I've got to go soon.” Tony said simply. “I'm not gonna lie kiddo, this mess with Steve is probably going to get ugly.”

“I wanna go with you!” Peter whispered the words with as much intensity as he could muster, eyes watering slightly.

“And you will, right? We'll see how many days that is soon. Don't look at me that way Peter, you know that if I could, you would be with me the whole time.” Tony admonished the boy as he crossed his arms and glared at him.

“Ned’s gonna make me sleep on the bottom bunk,” he hissed, even as a smile started to settle on his face. “I don't like bottom bunk!”

“Oh poor you,” Tony rolled his eyes. “You get to sleep over at your friends house and hang out with him for days. Poor, poor Peter.”

“I'd rather be with you,” Peter complained again. “But I trust you. You'll be really safe, right Tony? And you'll call me?”

“Of course kid, whenever I can. You have your old clunky phone right?” Tony grinned as Peter pulled it out of his pocket, flashing it at him before putting it away.

“God, you need a new one. That's the first thing we'll do together when we get back, alright? We'll get a good phone for you.” Peter nodded, smiling slightly at the thought.

“Speaking of which, I've got something else for you. Any guesses?”

“Um, I don't know. A backpack?” Tony laughed at the guess, shaking his head no. “I dunno! Something cool though.”

“It definitely is cool, at least I would say.”

“What is it? Can I have it now?” Peter asked.

“Now, before I give this to you, you're gonna promise to only use it for life or death situations, right?” Tony said the words carefully, nodding slowly when he saw Peter break out into a huge grin at his guess.

“Oh my gosh, my suit! My suit my suit my suit!” Peter seemed to be forcing himself to be quieter, bouncing on his feet. “Where is it? Can I see it?”

“Not now, okay?” Tony ruffled Peter's hair as he slumped over. “It's at the bottom of your blue suitcase.”

“Thank you Tony!” Peter said, smile huge as he thought of what awaited him.

“The suit is for emergency only, you know that right?” Tony stressed the words, face serious.

“Yeah, totally!” Peter said, eyes wide and face innocent as he continued to smile at Tony. “I'm just excited that it's there!”

“Well that's reassuring.” Tony joked. “Just be safe, okay kiddo? Seriously - emergencies only.” Peter nodded this time, seeming to sense that he really wanted confirmation that Peter wouldn't do anything dumb with it.

“Peter, how are you feeling so far?” Tony asked then, taking advantage of the slightly more somber mood. Because really, if he was 100% sure that everything in Scotland was going to be safe. The one thing that Tony would never do ever again was bring Peter into a situation that he knew would be unsafe.

“It just feels like everything is moving really fast. You only got that phone call yesterday and now you already have to leave?” Peter frowned, although Tony was glad to see that he wasn't on the verge of tears.

“I get that kid. But this is a real emergency right? Everyone just wants this whole situation done and over with as soon as possible, so that we can get back to what matters.” Tony stressed the matters, pointing at himself and then Peter. “Yeah, it's a bad time for this to happen but at least we can get it under control.”

“I just wish I could come right now. I went with you to Berlin, remember?” Tony cringed at the memory, because yes, he did remember. He remembered Peter sobbing and getting hurt.

“I was dumb back then, and it shouldn't have happened. This time I'm being more careful right? Just trust me Petey, everything is gonna work out.”

“You know I trust you Tony,” Peter said. “I just wish there was another way.”

“Me too kiddo.” Tony grimaced and checked his watch, realizing that he was about to be late for his flight. That was the problem of having a kid, you're always running late for everything.

“Listen, I gotta go Peter okay? I'll call you as soon as I can.” He stooped down, pulling the boy into a tight hug before pulling back slightly. “Be good and stuff, like you always are. Don't do anything I would do but also don't do anything I wouldn't. There's a little grey area in between.”

“Like a Venn diagram.” Peter said solemnly.

“That's incredibly nerdy, but also right. Good job!” Peter cracked a smile at the joke, leaning into Tony's hand as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“I love you kiddo,” Tony said quieter, standing up and turning to leave. “I'll call you soon, okay?”

“Love you too Tony.” Peter whispered the words, barely loud enough for Tony to hear. “See you later.”

Tony nodded, one last wave before he said his quick goodbyes and thanks to Ms. Leeds before practically running out the door and sliding into the car on the curb.

“You're gonna be late if we drive like the law wants us to.” Happy sighed, looking at Tony through the mirror.

“Oh c'mon Happy,” Tony said. “When do you ever drive that way?”

~~~~

The flight was hell, waiting was hell and Scotland was most definitely a special type of hell.

Tony hadn't been able to sleep or relax the whole flight. Instead he had spent his time listening to the many government officials who had insisted on coming with him. They droned on and on about customs, strategies and a bunch of other shit that Tony honestly couldn't even remember.

He had mostly been thinking about Peter, about how he was supposed to call the boy when he landed but how he had instead been rushed through to some town where the population definitely didn't rise over 5000 and no one had probably even heard the name Tony Stark, if that was possible.

Apparently, everyone had thought it would be a magnificent fucking idea to cram all the rogue Avengers into some little police station to be as, one diplomat had put it, “as inconspicuous as possible”. Which was pretty much impossible, especially when you crammed a town that was used to about two police officers with droves of federal agents.

So there he was, jet lagged and in real fucking need of a good few hours of sleep - crammed in a one story police station with about seventeen other people, not including the elusive Avengers.

Tony had sat there, barely listening as one of the agents explained to him that all Tony had to do was “talk to Steve, see what he wants and what we can do,” blah blah blah and some other boring shit.

Honestly, it was a conundrum in the first place why they thought him of all people would be able to talk to Steve. Did know one remember the actual fucking civil war that had taken place in the Avengers? Or did they assume that Tony and Steve had been on the same side?

And then they gave him a moment to breathe, leaned up against the wall in a narrow hallway, one door at the end that Tony just knew held Steve by the way everyone kept glancing at it.

It was odd to think that just a few steps away was the one man that made Tony want to run closer and further away at the same time.

Tony sighed at his own admittedly melodramatic thoughts, taking a moment just to breathe before flipping his phone open and punching in a number that he had long memorized before.

It barely rang before Peter picked up, one short burst of noise before it faded away to the boys voice.

“Tony, hi! How are you? Are you in Scotland now? Can I come yet?”

“Slow your roll kid,” Tony said, grinning at the questions. “First, I'm fine. Yes, I'm in Scotland now and before you ask, yes the accents are funny. And no, not yet. I'm working on that okay? And stop pouting, I can tell that you're pouting.”

“No you can't!” Peter giggled even though he was definitely pouting. “You're just a good guesser.”

“Okay, maybe that too.” Tony admitted. “Are you set to go to school tomorrow? Happy said he'll bring you to the hospital after if you want to see May.”

“That'd be nice, yeah.” Peter said, voice softer then. “I wish you were here. I really like being with Ned and everything, I mean he's my best friend - but I wish I was with you.”

“Me too kiddo. Trust me, Scotland isn't all it cracked up to be.” The joke landed poorly, neither of them laughing at it.

“I miss you.”

Peter sounded solemn, not as childish as Tony would have thought. The words had a weight to them that he thought children shouldn't know, yet Peter obviously did.

“I miss you too kiddo. Hopefully this will blow over in the next couple of days.” Tony said, even though he was 99% sure that there was no way in hell that the situation could be solved in a couple of days.

“And if it doesn't? Will you stay there without me? You promised to have me come. When?”

“Look, I'm gonna make a promise to you Peter. Are you listening closely?” Tony asked the boy, even though he knew he was.

“Mhm, what is it?” Peter replied almost instantly.

“In four days, if this isn't solved I'll fly you and Happy over here. How does that sound?” Tony heard the boy sigh, breathing quietly as he thought over his options.

“How about in two days? I hate being bottom bunk Tony.” Peter asked. He chuckled at the complaint, imagining the boy glaring up at the bunk above him.

“Three, and I'll make Steve say that you're way cooler than him.” Tony countered. He grinned when Peter giggled over his proposal, half muffled by the tinny quality from Peter's phone. Which reminded Tony, the kid needed a much better one.

“Deal! I have to go now Tony, bedtime was half an hour ago,” Peter whispered the last part, fearful of being caught by Ms. Leeds. “But you'll call me tomorrow right? Before I go to school?”

“Of course kiddo. Eight for you, right?” Tony asked. Peter let out a noise of affirmation. “Okay then. Sleep well Petey, love you.”

“Love you too Tony, bye!”

And with that the boy hung up, leaving Tony alone in the cramped hallway. God, why did they pick a fucking police station? Didn't they know who they were dealing with? Steve and the others weren't regular criminals - if they really wanted to leave, they just would.

Which begs the question, what were they waiting for?

~~~~

Tony was bored out of his mind. How long had it been since anyone had told him anything? It felt like at least two hours. How long did it take to make sure Steve was good to go? Was he some sort of diva now? For some reason, Tony really doubted that.

After what seemed like years to Tony, far longer than anyone should ever have to suffer in his opinion, an officer opened the door at the end of the hallway and looked up at Tony.

“Just let me call the captain Mr. Stark, and then you can go right in.”

“Sure, sounds fun.” Tony rolled his eyes at the words, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for the man to be done his conversation.

God, it was weird how not nervous Tony was feeling. He knew theoretically he should be, but something about fighting with Peter and then immediately dropping him off, then flying for around eight hours, only to have to wait an additional couple of hours really just sucked all the tension out of the whole Steve situation for him.

“Mr. Stark?” the officer had called to him, gesturing towards the room. Tony blinked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes before looking back at him. “You can go in now.”

Well, so much for not being nervous. Now he felt like someone had punched him in the gut before setting fire to his insides. Not an entirely pleasant feeling, admittedly.

“Great.” Tony muttered as he walked closer, trying not to let his nerves get the best of him. Geez, it wasn't like he was about to meet one of his oldest friends who betrayed him was it?

Oh wait, that was exactly what was about to happen.

But he soldiered on anyways, nodding at the officer as he held the door open and trying not to fucking gasp for air and run out of the building.

He didn't want to be there. Didn't want to be in Scotland, didn't want to talk to Steve, didn't want to be there alone. And more than anything, Tony wanted Peter with him.

Peter.

How was he, right then? Sleeping, supposedly - but if Tony had learned anything from his time with the boy, it was that children follow their own schedules, regardless of what rules you put in place. Or maybe Tony had taught that to him, that it didn't matter who was telling you what, that they were wrong and he was right.

He sort of hoped Peter had learned that from him, to be strong and vulnerable and do what he wanted for himself.

Jesus, was Tony really stalling for time by thinking about Peter's personality? He knew he missed him but it was sort of ridiculous just how much the boy was on his mind.

Banishing any other thoughts of Peter or what else he had left behind, Tony entered the room and shut the door behind him.

~~~~

Steve had a fucking beard.

Tony knew that it was definitely not the most important aspect of what was about to go down, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from it. Was that his idea of a disguise? Did Steve really think he could fool people with that?

And honestly, the man didn't look any different. He looked just as calm, just as strong and protective and just looking exactly like Steve would. It didn't sit well with Tony, that the man didn't look like he had fell apart the same way he had.

Maybe it really had been Tony's fault, a fight brought on by his own insecurities and complexes. Maybe it was Tony who was wrong and broken.

Neither of them spoke for a moment, Tony almost stumbling back to grab the door, turn the handle and walk out. But instead he moved forward with as much confidence as he could muster, to the table that Steve sat at. There was a chair across from him, one clearly meant for Tony.

He sat in it and stared at Steve, waiting for the man to speak first. He stared back at first too, not with the defiance that Tony remembered. He looked sad and introspective actually, which Tony didn't like one fucking bit. He didn't have a right to seem so right while he sat right across from him, looking like he was the one called in to counsel Tony and not the other way around. Eventually the man cleared his throat and spoke up.

“Tony.”

“Steve.”

Their words were brief, even though Tony had so much more to say. He wanted to scream at the man, ask him what was so difficult about Tony that they couldn't have made it work, what had he done wrong?

What had Tony done wrong to drive so many people away?

Steve's face changed looking at him, the stoic and guarded expression becoming softer. He looked lost to Tony, as if he had no idea had to navigate the waters between the two of them.

“It's good to see you,” Steve managed finally. “Even if the circumstances are - difficult.”

“Yeah, that's not gonna cut it.” Tony said, watching Steve bite his lip. “But I'm just gonna let it go for now.”

“That's a first.” Steve mumbled. Tony was surprised that the words managed to force a laugh from him, a couple peals before he remembered that he and Steve were enemies. Petty, but Tony was anything but.

“Anyways, tell me about what this mess is. Apparently I'm here to, give you counsel.” Tony mocked the words with air quotes. Steve smiled uneasily at it. He was trying to be light, trying to let the history between them go for just a moment so he could hear him out, but it was difficult for Tony when it seemed like all that Steve could think about was their history.

“Alright, fine. You said that there was something the Avengers had to do, so spit it out.” Tony snapped at the man. Steve bit his lip again, hard enough that Tony was worried he was gonna fucking puncture himself.

“We found something - something dangerous. Something that could threaten existence itself Tony.” Steve said the words carefully, guarding what he actually wanted to say. It grated Tony further, because he had not left Peter alone to listen to Steve dance around the bush.

“Oh, and then you just happened to be caught? While something super duper dangerous runs around? Sounds like you're making shit up Cap.”

“What?” Steve sounded confused, as if he had been speaking a different language. Tony was trying really hard not to be completely pissed off, but it was definitely taxing.

“Cut the bullshit Steve. We both know you're just making some dangerous shit because you got caught with your pants down! I didn't fly here without Peter to hear a bunch of ghost stories. Just tell me what kind of trouble you're in!”

“Wait - who's Peter?” Steve asked, before putting his hands up in mock surrender. “Sorry, not relevant. What are you talking about though Tony? You make it sound like we were caught.”

“What the fuck are you on, Steve?” Tony demanded. “You got caught because of your shitty disguises and now you're trying to get out of trouble. Or are you disagreeing?”

“I am.” Steve said, brows knit together. “Tony, we didn't get caught. You know that we would've gotten out of here if that was the case - you know that.”

“What is it then, Steve?” Tony asked. “How do you explain why I'm here at this very moment?”

“Tony,” Steve said slowly. “We surrendered ourselves.”

Tony almost choked on air, the mere sentence enough to constrict his lungs. Steve Rogers, who was practically being called a war criminal turned himself and his trusty gang in? Steve alone, Tony might have been able to stomach. But the others - there was no way the man sat in front of him would have allowed that.

“Why would you do that?” Tony said finally, trying not to allow any weakness to enter his voice. Which it did, judging by Steve's concerned face.

“Because there's a serious threat to humanity, Tony. We need your help. We need everyone's help with this, as many hero's as possible.” Steve bit his lip again, finally succeeding in making himself bleed.

Tony wanted to fight about it. He wanted to scream and yell and maybe even throw a few punches at the man seated across from him. How could this happen? How could their history seem so irrelevant, that their past was nothing? That now that Steve had finally shown his face that they didn't need to discuss the Accords, the fight or any other shit that had gone down?

But if there really was a threat so big that even Steve Rogers was sure that he couldn't deal with it without the help of everyone he could muster, then maybe their history was just that, at least for the time. History. Because maybe, if there was just a slight chance that whatever Steve was talking about could threaten him this much, it could threaten Peter.

And Tony would do everything he could to protect Peter, even banish his own emotions and force himself to work with the man who he was sure had wanted to kill him at one point.

“Well then,” Tony finally managed after a moment. “You better tell me what the threat is.”