Rough Times

The world hadn't always been so silent for everyone.

There was a time when people spoke freely, when they wore shoes and where they were not afraid of noise. It was not long ago, but it felt like a long time to Peter.

It felt like a lifetime, an eon since he hadn't been afraid to simply open his mouth and say something, anything to his dad. A lifetime of silent gestures, of taps on his forehead translating to I Love You and hands clamped over his mouth at night as he desperately tried not to scream.

And even fuzzier - sound itself. Something that wasn't necessarily something Peter could remember, but he could remember not not hearing. It was odd, to know what once was something he took for granted was now gone, not even the cochlear implants his dad desperately tinkered with in hopes to make them work once more able to restore anything for him.

There was also once a time where Peter had been sure his dad could defeat any evil he was up against, any monster and any threat in there way. He couldn't comprehend that there would ever be a time where his dad would not fight, instead crouching with him in fear and panic while the enemy stalked around them.

There was not a time that Peter had ever thought he would see his dad so scared, but that time was now.

~~~~
Before

Spiderman was young. Way too young.

He had wide eyes and windswept hair that was in need of a trim, features that betrayed youth below the age of thirteen. A child's face that looked that open and trusting definitely made Tony want to call off his whole plan.

“Peter, look who's here to see you!” May said, only the upturning of her lips betraying the excitement she felt. And then Tony felt even more like a piece of shit when the kids eyes got bigger and his face broke into a wide grin at him.

“To see me? Wow that's awesome!” The kid cried out, almost ripping his backpack off in anticipation. “What for?”

“Well there's a very special opportunity for you it seems,” May began. She grinned at Tony who grimaced back. Since when did the whole world decide to guilt trip the man? All he wanted was for this Spiderman (more like Spiderkid,) to have been about five years older, but beggars can't be choosers.

“Mr. Stark noticed your test scores and contacted me about a special overnight trip tomorrow.” The kid looked at him with wide eyes, passion showing through every feature.

“A field trip to Stark Industries.” Tony lied straight through his teeth to the kid and his aunt. “Just something to get the kid geniuses into my company you know?”

“So like science stuff? I love science!” Peter blurted out. “And with other science kids and a real lab - I've heard your company has a lot of those, not that I research it - I mean I do but not obsessively you know? That would be weird, and I'm not we-”

“I get it kid.” Tony said, running a hand through his hair. Okay, so he wished Peter was about five years older and eighty percent less rambly and anxious.

“It'd be overnight, a couple of days.” Tony said casually, before turning to speak to May. “Chaperoned of course, by scientists and engineers and just all those types of geniuses. Really important people who can help kids like Peter get their foot in the door early.”

“It’s amazing that you sought him out Mr. Stark,” May said sincerely. “Peter’s always had such a passion for science.”

“Yeah I love science Mr. Stark!” Peter piped in. “It’s my favorite subject in school - I mean you must know that since you came because of my tests, how did you see those by the way? Not that I mind! But I thought they weren't supposed to be used for individual evaluation, you know -”

“I'm rich kid,” Tony said tiredly. “Money opens a lot of closed doors.”

“Peter's obviously interested Mr. Stark.” May said. “I'm sure it'll be a great experience for him.”

Oh shit, for a second Tony almost believed his own lie. He still needed to actually get the kid - Spiderkid that is, - on board with the real plan.

“Do you mind if I speak to Peter privately?” Tony asked her. “Just to gauge what he's interested in and that sort of stuff.” He added quickly when he saw May frown.

“Okay,” she said, shrugging once Peter nodded enthusiastically.

“It'll just be a couple of minutes,” he promised as he stood up to follow the kid into what was presumably his room. “To see what he's into, science wise.”

Once they were in the kids room Tony shut the door quickly, surveying around before his eyes landed on the crawlspace on the roof of his room. No doubt that's where Peter hid his costume.

“I'm really honored that you wanna send me on this trip sir,” Peter said, grinning so wide Tony was worried his face would break. “You're like my hero! You're so awesome and this is awesome I really really love science I can't believe I have this opportunity!”

“Yeah yeah kid,” Tony said, taking a seat in the ripped apart chair in the corner of Peter's room. “That's very nice and all that.”

“I'm interested in all types of science too Mr. Stark,” he continued to babble. “I really can't choose what's my favorite but I do really like biology but also engineering - is that science? I mean I hope you'll let me work on that I like making stuff, just like you! Oh this is so cool -”

“Okay yes, yes Peter let's consider it science.” Tony interjected if only to get the kid to take a breath. “Now let me ask you something.”

The kid nodded, so hard and fast that Tony almost feared he had whiplash. Now was time to switch gears, to let Peter knew that he knew about Spiderman (Spiderkid he corrected in his mind) and that he needed his help and all that.

“Kid, how old are you?” Tony asked. He knew the answer, no matter what it was, would be far too young for an Avenger let alone the vigilante the boy claimed to be, but when you're desperate you're desperate.

And besides, it wouldn't be like he was really in the fight. He would just be there to stack the numbers and to keep Cap at bay with a kid watching.

“Eleven, my birthday is soon though!”

Ouch, that was fucking young. Well, if Peter wanted to play vigilante, it was only responsible of Tony to call him out on it.

“Wow, that's pretty young to be patrolling the streets, huh?” Tony said. “Shouldn't they call you like, Spiderkid instead of man?”

There was a beat of silence as they both looked at each other, Peter in some type of stunned silence and Tony in anticipation.

“W-what?” Peter stuttered out. His face had gone bright red at the accusation. “I dunno what you're talking about Mr. Stark, I thought I was going on a field tr-”

“Oh you'll still be going on a field trip Spiderman,” Tony drawled. “Just a bit farther than my tower and not as many people. Now show me your suit - if you could call it that from what I've seen.”

The kids face wrinkled at the idea, one hand drifting towards his face as if he were trying to hide how bad of a liar he was.

“Isn't me, that isn't me Mr. Stark,” he said. Tony sighed and stood up then, eyes and fingers pointed at the crawlspace.

“So you're telling me if I open that up, a Spiderkid costume isn't gonna come crashing down?”

Peter's face had turned pale, color draining fast as he shook his head as fast as he could. Tony raised an eyebrow at him even as everything in him was telling him to stop and back off. It wasn't fair to bring such a young kid into the Avengers issues and by forcing him to reveal his identity, Tony would do just that.

But on the other hand, if Tony was right and Peter really was Spiderman, then it was basically his responsibility to stop the kid. Not only would it be terrible if the kid got hurt, if anyone found out who Peter was and what Tony wanted him to do, it would be more than just a shitload of bad press. He'd probably be charged with child endangerment.

“What? Cat got your tongue?” he remarked. Peter remained frozen, head shaking no slightly as he continued to stare at Tony.

“That's not…” he trailed off and Tony ground his teeth together when he saw the tears start to build in the boys eyes.

“Hey kid, don't cry.” Tony said awkwardly, hands up in defense. “I don't, I don't like it when people cry.”

“I didn't want to let anyone know,” Peter hiccuped, now with tears spilling down his cheek. “I don't want anyone to know Mr. Stark!”

“Okay, okay,” Tony said, rushing to say anything to make the kid stop crying. “Okay yeah this is probably scary then huh?”

Peter nodded slowly, taking a seat on his bed and wiping at his eyes. “I don't want anyone to get hurt because they know I'm Spiderman.” he mumbled.

“Spiderkid,” Tony corrected under his breath. “Why would anyone get hurt Peter?”

“Because if one person knows, they'll tell someone else and then they tell someone and it goes on until everyone knows and then bad guys will try and hurt Aunt May and my friends!” Peter said, breath hitching as he spoke faster and faster.

“But what you're forgetting,” Tony said, slowly getting up to sit by him, “is that I'm Iron Man. I'm not gonna just go telling people your identity, right?”

Peter looked away from him for a moment, face troubled as he mulled over Tony's words.

“Then why even ask me if I'm Spiderman?” he asked. “Why come and ask me if you're not gonna tell?”

“Because I need your help,” Tony admitted. “For some superhero stuff...in Berlin.”

“Berlin?” Peter said. “Where's that?”

“It’s in Germany - but Peter don't freak out, you'd be gone four days max, I swear.” Tony said when he saw the boy's face go white.

“I can't do that Mr. Stark,” he said. “If something happens in Queens while I'm gone it'd be my fault. And Aunt May would be all alone in New York!”

“What if I got a security guard to trail her?” Tony asked, trying a different tactic. “To make sure she's safe?”

“No Mr. Stark,” Peter shook his head. “She'd figure out about them. And besides, I don't wanna leave New York.”

They sat in mutual silence after that, Peter grimacing as he watched Tony think over how to best persuade the boy. Because there was no way that Tony was leaving that god damn apartment without a promise that the kid would be on a plane to Berlin tomorrow.

Finally Tony decided to try a different route. Get to the core of why Peter even wanted to be Spiderkid in the first place and emotionally guilt him. He wasn't exactly proud about it, but Tony got done what needed to be done.

“Tell me kid, why do you wanna be Spiderman?”

Peter thought for just a moment, face creasing as he did so. When he spoke the words had weight to them, as if every single one had been meticulously chosen.

“Because I think, if you have the ability to help someone and you don't...well, then it's your fault that they got hurt.”

“Very noble kid, very noble.” Tony said dismissively. Sure, it was nice and all that Peter wanted to help people but his words struck a chord with Steve to Tony. And he really didn't wanna be thinking about how any potential ally might be like Steve.

“So here's the thing, yeah?” Tony began. “Now I'm the one who needs help. So you're gonna help me right? Justice and all that?”

Peter nodded his head slowly. “That makes sense.” he said after a pause. “I wanna help everyone I can.”

Tony breathed out in relief. “So you'll come with me then? To Berlin?”

He watched as the kid bit his lip, brows creasing as he thought it over again. “No one's gonna die right?” he asked finally. “Not like…”

Tony frowned as he realized what Peter was trying to reference - the building that Wanda had been responsible for. Maybe that was why the kid was so reluctant.

“No one's gonna die.” Tony said firmly. “And we're gonna make sure of that right?” Peter nodded then, less reluctant then before.

“So you're gonna help me in Berlin kid?” he asked again, already knowing what the answer was. But it was nice to get it down just in case the kid would try and back out.

“Yeah, I'm gonna help in Berlin Mr. Stark!” Peter said, once again smiling at his idol. It made Tony feel like shit for manipulating the kid into agreement.

“Good, good thinking Peter.” Tony said, nodding in approval even as his stomach sank. “Just one more thing, yeah?”

“What is it? Are there gonna be monsters? Am I gonna get scared Mr. Stark? Not that monsters scare me! I'm brave, you'll see -”

“Listen, after this no more Spiderman okay?” Tony held one hand up to shush Peter. “Look kid, I'm giving you a chance to help me. But after that, you're done.”

“You can't make me!” Peter protested. “You're not my dad or anything like that!” Tony rolled his eyes at the kid.

“Doesn't matter whether I'm your dad or not Spidey. Because if you don't follow what I'm telling you to do -” Tony gestured to the closed door, making Peter look too. “Aunt May is gonna get an earful of what her eleven year old nephew likes to do at night.”

“That's not fair.” Peter groaned. His face was at least back to a normal shade, only his cheeks hot with embarrassment. “That's like blackmail.”

“Wrong,” Tony said. “It is blackmail.”

~~~~

It had been a long flight for Tony.

He tried to take his mind off of what was going to happen if he didn't get Steve and his little gang of revolutionaries to come back with him, but it was a little hard when he only had 36 hours. And that had been at least 12 hours ago.

And yes, he did feel guilty about bringing Peter into it. But what choice did he have? Besides, once Steve realized that a kid had been brought into their mess, he would probably be more apt to talk instead of fighting his way through the issue.

He wondered briefly how Peter was, since he had never been out of Queens let alone America. Tony just hoped that the kid wasn't home sick, or regretting going with Tony. That would just make him feel even more like shit.

Once he got to the hotel in Berlin, Tony didn't bother to check in with Peter. Not out of a disregard for the boy, more because he knew nothing about what he would say to the kid, especially if he was sad or upset.

Which probably was the reason that during the night, the kid had melted down so hard that Happy called Tony to deal with it.

He had been resting into an uneasy sleep when his phone rang, forcing Tony to sacrifice the little energy he had accumulated. He groaned and grabbed the phone, not ready to deal with whatever Happy had to tell him.

“Yes?” he breathed out. There was a beat of silence on the other end, only broken by strange tinny noises in the background.

“Tony, I got a problem.” Happy said finally. He didn't sound scared or urgent so that was definitely a plus, but it left Tony more angry than worried. Jesus Christ, it was around eleven at night and he had a massive fucking headache from what was to come. All Tony really wanted to do was get some sleep.

“Okay, what's that?” he snapped, even as he stood up, because he knows that Happy wouldn't have called him if it was really nothing.

“It's the kid - he's really homesick and isn't feeling well.” And then Tony could hear Peter in the background, tinny sniffles as he supposed the boy was trying to stop himself from crying.

Tony sighed and rubbed his face with one hand. He should’ve seen it happening, taking a child away from his guardian overnight and in a different country, plopping him in his own room and expecting him to be okay. Just because Peter was Spiderman didn't mean he wasn't still a baby compared to him, Steve or literally any other Avenger ever.

“I'll be right over. Put Peter on, okay?” Tony said. He listened tiredly as the phone was shuffled from hand to hand.

“Tony?” Peter cried into the phone. Tony felt his heart clench as he imagined the boys tear streaked face and puffy eyes.

“Hey Petey,” Tony started, tone remarkably gentle. “Can you tell me how you're feeling? I'm coming over right now.” He slipped on a jacket as he continued to listen to the child, turning the doorknob on his hotel room.

“I wanna go home!” he wailed. “I miss auntie and my bed! She reads me a bedtime story and tucks me in Tony, I can't go to bed without her!”

Tony shut the door behind him and began his brisk walk down to Peter's room. “Would it help if I did that for you?” he asked.

He heard a couple more sniffs as Peter thought through the offer. Tony continued his walk down to the boys room, almost down his hall when he got his reply.

“Okay. Okay, thank you Tony.” the child said, voice lightening considerably.

“No problem kid. Now open the door for me yeah?”

~~~~

Peter had settled in quite nicely once Tony was there.

It was evident that the kid had not been faking his cries. His cheeks were pink and looked almost swollen from effort, his eyes puffy and face still damp. It made Tony feel like a monster to have been at least an indirect cause of such a young things sadness, especially such a sweet kid like Peter.

Tony had waved Happy away, letting the man get his own well deserved sleep while he dealt with Peter. The boy had all but clung to him when he came around, not shy about seeking affection from the man.

It had been a bit of a shock at first, since Tony never doled out nor seeked affection from anyone really, even as a child, but it didn't stop him from wrapping one arm around the boy himself, the other finding itself in his hair.

“Just any story okay with you Peter?” Tony asked as he sat on the bed. The kid nodded before immediately clamoring right next to him

It felt natural in the oddest way. The weight of Peters body squished up against his, as if being upright and staying that way depended entirely on how strong Tony was made him feel needed. The way the kids face found its way on his shirt, one hand up to rest on the Arc Reactor and the other on his back, the way his hair felt so soft to Tony’s hand, just the way Peter made himself unapologetically comfortable and totally reliant on Tony was unlike anything the man had ever experienced in his life.

He imagined that was how a parent felt, because not since the whole mess with Steve had started had Tony felt as confident and in control than right then. Even if all he was doing was reading some story he had found on his phone to Peter, it was as if everything depended on it. Like maybe if he could do right by the child and get him to sleep the world would awake perfect.

“Tony?” the whisper made him falter in his reading, instead opting to look down at the boy.

“Can you tuck me in now?” the hands slid away from him and the weight shifted, Peter's face red from the extra heat and hair curling towards his face. Tony tried not to let go of the feeling that had overtaken him in an attempt to not feel like shit, and was surprised to find it stay.

“Sure,” he said, moving off of the bed. “Let's get you tucked in.” Peter breathed out some mumbled thanks as he crawled off of the bed as well, hidden by a yawn that overtook the boy.

He pulled the covers back, patting the bed awkwardly and watching as the boy crawled back in, eyes fluttering with exhaustion as he did so. Tony rolled the blanket back on Peter, making sure they were adequately covering him.

“Okay, sleep well then.” Tony said, biting his lip as Peter mumbled some reply and turned. He ran one hand through the kids hair, watching his eyes open and close at the sensation.

He turned to leave, ready to spend a miserable night tossing and turning. But at least Peter had been calmed down.

Hands grabbed at him, startling Tony. He almost moved to break the grasp before realizing it could only be Peter. The boy had grabbed onto his sleeve as he made to leave, so Tony turned back to look at him.

“Wait,” Peter breathed out sleepily. “Wait for me to sleep?”

“Of course,” Tony said almost immediately. “Wouldn't dream otherwise.” He settled into the chair next to the bed, one eyebrow raised in mock confusion in a way that made Peter giggle.

“Goodnight Peter.” he said, one hand outstretched on the bed for the kid to grasp. He did so, small hand slightly clammy but grip tight.

“Night Tony,” Peter mumbled back. “Have good dreams.”

~~~~

He wasn't sure how long it had taken for Peter to fall asleep. Tony didn't even notice until the almost vice like grasp on his hand loosened and pulled away as the child turned in his sleep.

He pulled away too then, yawned and stood up as he prepared to go back to his own room.
Tony paused for a moment, checking to make sure the boy really was sound asleep. His face was calm then, brows relaxed and mouth slack as he breathed.

“Good kid,” Tony said softly. “You sleep well.”

He collapsed on his bed as soon as he made it into his room, sleep taking him almost immediately.

~~~~

The night had been way too short, in his opinion.

When Tony had awaken, the first thing he had done was debrief with anyone who he could confidently say was on his side - which yes, included Peter.

Which was how he found himself trying to control a very hyperactive Spiderkid, and failing miserably at it.

“You're gonna follow what I say exactly, right Peter?” Tony stressed. The boy had significantly brightened up from the night, bouncing around the hotel room in his new Spiderman outfit.

“Kid, are you listening?” Tony asked, reaching one hand out to stop Peter's energy. “You're gonna listen to me and do exactly what I say right?”

“Yes, Mr. Stark!” Peter smiled wide at him, still bouncing on the balls of his feet. He sighed again and ran his hand through the child's hair, stooping down to look him in the eyes.

“Tell me what you're gonna do then huh? You're gonna…” Tony trailed off and raised an eyebrow at the child. Peter bit his lip in concentration before smiling at the man again.

“I'm gonna take the shield, give it to the lady with red hair, and then I'm gonna stay out of the way.”

“Exactly, good kid.” Tony said. He hesitated for just a beat before reaching up and kissing the kids forehead. Fucking hell, the sooner the fight drew near, the more worried and anxious Tony felt for Peter. It wasn't right to bring him into this, but it was happening either way now.

He just hoped he made the right decision.

~~~~

The kid was golden.

“You're Captain America!” Peter said almost reverently, bringing the tension to an almost dead standstill as both sides stared up at him.

“He is,” Tony said. “And now you know what to do with the shield, right?”

“Oh, right right!” the kid fumbled. He looked around desperately and Tony almost wanted to point Natasha out for him. But then the plan would be foiled, so that was a no go - which felt bad, since Peter looked like a kicked puppy even through the mask.

“Wha-wh-how old are you?” Steve sputtered out, looking incredulously at the kid who had stolen his shield. Tony had to admit, the kid knew how to command a room - even if only through utter shock.

“Umm, none of your business?” Peter said weakly. “I'm not supposed to give out information to strangers, even Captain America.”

“Well that is a good point,” Steve pondered. “That's very smart.”

“I'm sorry, but what?” Scott asked, gesturing wildly at the two sides. “Am I missing something? Are we gonna sit here and applaud the kid's merits for not talking to strangers or are we gonna actually do something?”

“I vote do something!” Peter quipped as he spotted Natasha. He threw the shield to her so fast that the air around it seemed to blur - a near perfect throw that she caught with ease.

“You know Tony, bringing that kid is a sneaky thing,” Steve grumbled. “It's not right.”

“Never said I was in the right for that!” Tony countered. “You see, I actually admit my mistakes and do something about them. Because now, he's going to stay out of the way.”

“Yeah, what he said!” Peter cried out, one hand raised in the air. “Admit your mistakes!”

“And stay out of the way.” Tony added. Peter shrugged a bit, still on top of the trailer.

“We'll see about that.” he said, swinging away as the two sides started to engage for real. Tony watched him, face disbelieving as the kid flew to the building holding Bucky and Sam.

“Goddammit kid,” Tony hissed as he turned to meet Steve, who had acquired his shield again. “Be safe.”

~~~~

Tony was ready to pass out. It had been a long night with Peter, a couple hours of rest, and now a huge fucking fight?

Clint and Wanda stood in front of him, building behind him. He honestly just wanted to stop, to plead with them to back down and just work with him. If Peter could work with Tony, then surely these grown adults could too.

“I thought you were supposed to be in the tower,” he began, pointing to Wanda and then at Clint. “And you're supposed to be retired.”

“I didn't enjoy being grounded,” Wanda said, mouth turned down and eyes dark as she glared at Tony. “Besides, you've got a real kid to do that to now.”

“That's a bit excessive,” he said. “You weren't grounded per se. More like a strong caution. And the kid isn't really mine. Just borrowing him.”

Clint scoffed. “I don't think you can really borrow a kid Tony. You know, since they're real breathing human beings and all that.”

“You're right,” Tony said. “I guess I'm more babysitting then.”

“Remind me to never leave you alone with my kids Tony.”

“Oh please,” now it was Tony's turn to scoff. “Spiderkid is the only one I think I can stand. And even that took time!”

“Well they grow on you right? Eventually you might even wanna take that kid out of a full blown battle!”

Tony winced at that because yeah, it was a shitty thing to do to bring Peter into it, but what could he do about it now?

“Yeah okay, I deserved that,” Tony admitted. “But he's a good fighter.”

“Better than you.” Clint said, and now the bow was aimed straight at him and notched. Tony tensed for just a second before readying himself.

“You ever miss?” Tony asked, Wanda scoffing at the thought.

“Nope.” Clint grinned and let the bolt fly, skewered just a bit to the right of Tony. Holy shit, how ironic was that? He almost wanted to laugh as he turned and burned it to a crisp with a simple gesture of his hand.

“Well there's a first time for everything.” Tony said, shrugging while he turned back to Clint and Wanda. Clint grinned at him, one shoulder up.

“Made you look.”

~~~~

It was almost over. Tony was exhausted and pissed, and just a bit embarrassed that he fell for Clint’s trick. The man was called Hawkeye for God's sake, he wasn't going to miss a target like a big fucking shiny suit of armor.

He staggered over to Peter, suit retreating as he did so. The boy was lying on the ground, chest heaving and face contorted in pain as he struggled to get up.

“Kid,” Tony wheezed, groaning as he bent down to help him up. “Kid, let's get you up.”

He reached down, gripping Peter's shoulders and jerked back when the boy let out a pained cry and bent forward, eyes blind and hand flying wildly to protect himself.

“Peter - hey Petey it's just me -” Tony said, grabbing his arms and pushing them to his chest. The boy let out panicked whines, fighting to regain control until he realized who was in front of him.

“Tony!” he cried out, face morphing into a grin as he reached forward and buried his face in Tony's chest. Tony wrapped his arms around the kid, breathing deep as he held him. Jesus, he was glad the kid was safe.

It had been un-fucking-believably dumb of him to bring Peter to Berlin. It had been dumb and dangerous and Tony wanted to punch himself for getting the kid involved. He was eleven, of course the kid wasn't going to listen to him when Tony told him to stay out of the action. It was Tony's responsibility to make sure Peter wasn't in the action.

He tried to tell himself that it was alright because Peter was okay, that Peter was breathing and alive. But it didn't feel alright when Peter leaned back to smile at him again and Tony saw the bruise that was already beginning to form on his forehead. It felt like the biggest fucking mistake on planet Earth and beyond.

“Stay here Peter,” Tony said. He brushed one hand through the kid's hair before standing up. “I'll send someone to pick you up and bring you back to May’s - probably Happy.”

“I don't wanna stay here Tony,” the kid protested. “I wanna go with you!”

“No kid, you're done.” Tony warned, gesturing for Peter to sit back down. “You're done.”

“Where are you even going?” Peter whined, although he did sit back down. Tony bit his lip and looked up at the sky, at the aircraft that was steadily leaving his view.

“I'm going after them,” he said simply. “After Steve and Bucky.”

~~~~

It hurt.

Everything hurt.

His head, his body, his heart.

It hurt.

~~~~

He didn't speak to the kid about what had happened after the fight. It wasn't something Peter needed to hear, to have his fantasies of superheros smashed when he realized that it wasn't all friends and fights where you held back ninety percent of your strength because a kid was involved.

He knew the kid sensed something was wrong, that Tony was more bitter and beat up then when he had last seen him, but he didn’t mention it.

“So Peter, ready to join the mundane again?” Tony teased him. They were in the car, being driven by Happy back to May’s apartment.

“No!” Peter cried out, glaring half heartedly at the man. “I'm being forced to not help people. Now it's basically my fault that they're getting hurt Tony!”

“No it's not,” Tony cut in. “Because it's not a child's responsibility to save them. What is your responsibility is to keep getting good grades, go to bed on time and all that crap.”

“Whatever.” the kid mumbled. Tony noticed the way his eyelids kept drooping, every sentence ending or beginning with a yawn. He was obviously exhausted and ready to just drop dead asleep.

Tony could relate.

Once they got to the apartment Peter stumbled out of the car, Tony following fast behind in case he fell. The kid tried to insist on carrying his own bags up to his seventh floor apartment, but Tony knew a bad idea when he heard one, so Happy ended up lugging them up the stairs.

May answered the door almost immediately, pulling her nephew into a tight hug that he reciprocated, almost melting into her arms.

“I'm so happy you're home,” she said to him, pulling away slightly. “Was it fun?”

“Lots of fun May.” Peter mumbled, following as she led him and indirectly Tony into the apartment. “Learned a lot of science stuff.”

“Yes, lots and lots of science,” Tony added in an effort to disguise their lie. “Just a ton of science.”

“Sounds great.” May said, smiling at her sleepy nephew. “Are you ready to just sleep now Peter?” he nodded to her, one hand rubbing his eyes.

“Bye Tony,” Peter said tiredly as he turned to him, smiling even in his exhaustion. “I had a lot of fun.”

“I did too, kid.” Tony said, reaching out to place a quick hand on his shoulder. It was a lie, because there was no way any of what had happened between him and Steve was fun, but it made the kid happy. “I'll be in touch.”

“Okay.” Peter said, face lighting up as he thought he realized what Tony meant. And no, Tony did not mean as Spiderkid. Not ever again - never ever again in a million years. Probably at least. It was a shaky time.

Peter turned then, one last wave to Tony as he departed down the tiny hall to his room. May and Tony watched him in companionable silence. She walked over to the couch then and sat down, looking up at Tony for a moment.

“Did he do okay?” May asked almost worriedly after the pause. Tony almost wanted to smirk at the concern. Yes, her nephew had done well in his first superhero battle, even if he had decided to disobey Tony. In the science field trip? That's a bit complicated.

“He did great Ms. Parker. Peter's really...really something special.” Tony said instead. May smiled at him then in relief and pat down the spot next to her on the couch, a clear invitation.

“He's got you wrapped around his finger too now huh?” She joked as Tony sat down. He glanced back towards the bedroom where he knew Peter was sleeping, knew it because he could hear the same heavy breathing interrupted every now and then by a pause of silence as he breathed in deep.

“Oh he's got you bad Tony,” she teased him, but her eyes betrayed the excitement she felt for her nephew. Tony understood it, because he understood what came with a childhood filled with a want for stability.

He had dealt with it, with a father who never bothered to deal with him and Peter had dealt with it through the deaths of his own father figures. It was probably a comfort to May that Tony had at least made some sort of positive mark in Peter's life.

Tony wanted to continue being a positive mark on Peter's life, wanted to be there for as long as he could.

“May, is there any way you could put me in his contacts? His emergency contacts?”

~~~~

It had already been a couple of months. Six months of constant contact with literally hundreds of government officials, all vying for a chance to get Tony’s attention on the Accords, or destruction that the Avengers had (allegedly, said just in case Tony wasn't in the mood to lend his ear) caused, even negotiations of pardons for the rogue agents.

And if that was the bad, Tony was extremely grateful for the good.

The good in his life came in the form of a picture sometimes, sent from May Parker to him of Peter. Peter smiling and waving, Peter eating, Peter building legos with another boy. Sometimes it was a text message from Peter himself about how bored he was to not be on patrol, about how he was doing in school and how he missed Tony.

Tony would text him back when he could, always stressing that the boy better not find himself out in the Spiderman suit if he knew what was good for him, about how proud Tony was in his academic achievements, about how Tony missed him too.

It was weird, to miss the kid. He imagined it somewhat to how a parent must feel when they can't see their own child for a very long time, like the time itself is only a torturous countdown to the next time you see them.

He did get to see him a couple of times (three, not that Tony was keeping count). The first time was the kids birthday party, where he got to meet Peter's best friend Ned.

He remembered mostly how Peter had pat down the spot in his room next to him so casually, inviting Tony Stark to sit on the floor and build with legos. More ridiculous than the casual nature was that Tony actually obeyed, bones creaking slightly as he asked what it was they were building. Ned had looked at him as if he were about to explode in excitement, which maybe he was.

His present to the kid had been two words, whispered to him after Ned left.

One hour. One hour of out on patrol with the suit Tony had brought and then he was to be back immediately.

It was almost worth the hour of anxiety Tony had when he saw how bright Peter’s eyes had become when Tony begrudgingly handed him the suitcase with his suit, how he watched the boy fly to the building next to their own (and no, Tony wasn't just leaving the boy out to dry. His suit had 24 hour surveillance, plus a whole bunch of other shit Tony had specially installed just to make sure Peter would never be alone or injured badly).

What wasn't worth it though was the hour of stalling May Parker. He had told the woman that Peter had been sleeping, exhausted from his birthday and that he wanted to know more about their past.

Which was why, when exactly 53 minutes later he heard Peter stumble in his room he almost cried out of gratitude. Not that he didn't love getting to hear more about the kids early life, just that he didn't realize May somehow had a story for every day Peter had been alive.

The second time had almost been accidental, would’ve been if Tony hadn't directly issued an actual field trip from Peter's school to Stark Enterprises with the sole purpose in mind to see Peter.

It had been exciting in a way, to see bright eyed sixth graders flood into the designated ground floor, where technology had been set up for them to marvel over. It had been most exciting to see Peter trail in at the tail end of the class, smile huge as he turned to listen to his friends.

Tony recognised one of them, Ned - the one who had been at Peter's on his birthday and watched in awe as they had all made Lego structures together. The second was a girl with the type of face which made him wary, only because even at her young age Tony could tell she had a certain type of sharp intelligence that was rare. That intelligence reminded Tony of Natasha in a strange way.

“Peter!” he called over the crowd, jogging up the boy and his group of friends. It was a tiny bit of an ego boost when Ned automatically started to hyperventilate as they came his way, but the girl made sure to bring it back down by staring at him with blank eyes.

“Tony!” he said, wide grin already plastered on his face. Neither of them moved to embrace the other, even though Tony wanted to and was fairly certain Peter would have reciprocated. It was different, as if the Peter and Tony that were in public were different people. They had been through a battle together, a full blown battle and yet no one would ever know. Maybe it drew them closer in some respects.

“I'm glad to see you here, you too Ned.” Tony said. “And who's this?”

“I'm Michelle, but friends call me MJ.” she said simply, one eyebrow raised as she watched him.

“Well then MJ, I'm glad that you're here too.”

She cracked a smile at that, albeit a very small one, but a smile. It was a start.

“Anyways, I wanted to show you something Peter,” he began. “And your friends.” They exchanged looks but followed the man as he lead them around the crowd.

“What do you think?” He asked Peter, guiding the boy and his friends over to a display where various screens showed off the Iron Man suit.

“That's so awesome!” Ned breathed out and MJ shrugged even as she was intrigued. God Natasha would love the girl, Tony knew it.

Peter turned and smiled at him before saying, “It's alright. Bet it looks cooler in action though!”

Tony rolled his eyes at the boy in mock annoyance, huffing exaggeratedly.

“I can never win with you Peter,” he whined as the kid laughed at his display. “You're too hard to please!”

The rest of the day was as fun as a day where a flood of 6 graders invaded your company could be. Tony felt 2 parts happy and 1 part anxious watching Peter and his friends move from exhibit to exhibit.

He wondered if Peter would ever pursue a career in science while he watched and fielded questions from various children. He had the heart and brains for it. Tony wouldn't let money be an issue either.

The kid could even pursue the career and work for Stark Industries. But would he want to, was the real question. Tony would never force Peter into any job (not that he had the power too - he barely had the power to make the kid stop crying,) or any career path.

In any case, it was a secret relief when the trip was over. Tony discreetly made his way over to Peter, motioning to the boy to step next to him. They watched in a comfortable silence as they watched the crowd.

“Would you work here?” he asked suddenly as they watched the rest of the students file out. Peter glanced up at him, one eyebrow raised in a way that Tony knew the boy got from him.

“Of course,” Peter said. “Who wouldn't?”

“Even with me?” Tony asked, self doubt filling him for a second. Who was he kidding, he brought the kid into a fucking battle. No way he'd ever be trusted to look after him in any capacity.

“That'd be the best part Tony,” the boy said shyly, one hand reaching to hold his own. “Being with you all day.”

His self doubt fled.

~~~~

The third time was to babysit, as dumb as that sounded. Tony Stark, the man inside the Iron Man suit, who protected the world countless times and had a trillion dollar company to run, was babysitting for a women who had to work a late shift.

Peter had been ecstatic, practically jumping off the walls with his enthusiasm and energy. At one point he had even began to crawl up the walls until Tony ordered him down with a tone he hoped sounded appropriately stern. Something told him it hasn't when Peter merely laughed but obeyed the man.

They had gone out to eat, at some pizza place that Peter swore up and down he would work at just for free food. Tony didn't see how any of it was exactly edible, but the kid liked it and that was what mattered.

And that was how they were caught by the paparazzi.

One second the kid had been babbling about something in the booth up against the glass wall, one hand outstretched and encased by Tony’s, the other gesturing wildly and the next he had jerked back out of shock from a bright flash.

Tony jerked back too, hand letting go of his hand as he turned to see photographers right outside the window.

“Are you okay?” he asked the boy after a beat, ushering him out of the booth. Peter blinked a few times, eyes watering slightly from the intense light but nodded at him anyways.

Tony paid hurriedly at the counter, ignoring the confused whines from Peter. There was no way he was letting those vultures get any more pictures of the boy then they had already gotten.

“Why are we going?” the boy whined, letting his feet drag as Tony tried to drag the boy along with him.

“We're going back to your apartment,” Tony said, hurrying them both up. He had taken several side streets once they left the pizzeria in an attempt to avoid the photographers. “It's late.”

“I wasn't finished though.” Peter complained, face cross. It agitated Tony even more to see that, to see Peter upset and complaining.

“I'm sorry, okay?” Tony snapped slightly. “I just didn't want those guys to see you anymore. They don't deserve to have pictures of you.”

They had stopped, just a few blocks away from May’s house. Tony watched the boy for a few moments, breath held as he waited for Peter to cry or get upset.

Instead he shrugged and smiled up at Tony.

“I'm tired anyways,” Peter mumbled, still smiling up at Tony. “Let's go home.”

It turned out Peter really hadn't been lying. As soon as they got to the apartment and Tony pushed the door open the boy sluggishly walked to his room and collapsed on the bed.

“You don't wanna get changed or brush your teeth?” Tony asked the half asleep kid, watching bemused as he raised his head tiredly.

“No,” he breathed out. “Wanna sleep.”

“Even with your shoes on?”

“Mhmm.”

“Are you listening to me?”

“Mhmm.”

“Wanna go out as Spiderman tonight?”

“Mmmm.” Tony cracked a grin as the kid breathed out. He was clearly out of it if he didn't even wake up to the sound of Spiderman.

“Okay, I'll leave you alone Peter,” Tony said. “Goodnight.”

“G’night dad,” Peter mumbled then, turning to bury his face in the pillow. Tony froze for just a minute, breath held in anticipation of a further explanation, for the boy to realize what he had said and correct himself.

But he didn't.

Instead Tony stood over the boy (his boy, could he call Peter his boy? It felt like he was his, he certainly wanted it to be sometimes) and placed one hand on his shoulder, rubbing circles on the blanket with his thumb until he heard the breathing even out.

“Night kid.” He whispered, before turning and letting himself out of the room.

When May got home he wanted to tell her what Peter had said, to let her know that the word had somehow fundamentally changed his thinking and how he wanted it to be true. How he needed it to be true.

Instead she seemed to beat him to it, a soft smile on her face that let Tony knew that somehow she knew.

“It's okay to feel fatherly towards him you know,” she said right as he made to leave. “He certainly looks up to you as a dad.”

Tony paused for just a moment before simply nodding, not trusting his voice to say what he wanted it to.

“Goodnight Tony,” she called to him as he made his way out of the apartment.

“Good night May.”

If he had known that was the last time he would be able to speak to her, Tony would’ve said much more.

~~~~

The fourth time he saw Peter was in the hospital, where he began fostering the boy.

It had been late at night, late enough that the first few rings of the phone didn't wake Tony up. He finally woke up by the fourth or fifth ring, blearily looking at the caller ID before answering.

“Hello?” Tony mumbled into the phone. He wouldn't have answered it if the caller hadn't been a hospital. Who knew who was hurt out there - with his luck it'd be Peter.

“Mr. Stark? Hi, sorry to bother you but we're calling about a Peter Parker? Do you know who that is?”

Oh shit.

“Yes, yes of course I do. Is he hurt? Bad? What's going on?” He was more aware now that the possibility of violence had been raised against the kid. Tony was just grateful he had convinced the aunt to place him on emergency contacts as a family friend, even if it had taken some convincing.

“No, no Peter is uninjured Mr. Stark. It's his aunt who we're concerned about. She's had a heart attack and is susceptible to another through her current condition. Someone needs to come get Peter, he's quite distraught you can ima-”

“I'm coming.” Tony cut the women off. “I'm coming to pick him up right now. Keep him there please, I'm coming.”

“Okay Mr. Stark, I'll make sure he stays where he is. Thank you for coming in on such short notice, you're the only person on his contact list right now.” The women sounded relieved at his willingness.

It hasn't taken him long to get to the hospital, what with the deserted streets since it was some ungodly hour in the morning - Happy had been more than well, happy, to get Tony there as soon as possible, even if it meant breaking multiple laws. But it felt like a lifetime to Tony, as if every second he drew closer to Peter was multiplied by ten.

“We're here Mr. St-” he didn't wait for Happy to finish, instead sliding out of the car and nodding at Happy in appreciation. Inside seemed like a maze put there purposely to confuse Tony and separate him from Peter.

He got to what appeared to be a front desk eventually (what felt like hours in reality had been a few minutes), rushing up to it to find out where he was supposed to go.

“I need to pick someone up,” Tony blurted out. “I need to pick up Peter Parker. Where is he?” The receptionist blinked at him in a daze, not seeming to hear his words - only looking at who he was.

“Yes, I'm Tony Stark!” He cried out in frustration. “I need to pick up Peter Parker!”

The man only seemed to become more flustered, hands fumbling around with the papers scattered around his desk.

“I'm - I'm not su-” he stammered, leaving Tony even more frustrated and anxious. He needed to get to Peter, take him back to the Tower, get him to bed and then figure out his plan from there. Another long and panicked night.

“Then find someone who does.” he seethed, turning around to search for himself before hearing what sounded like his name being called out.

“Mr. Stark?” he heard it again, louder then. It sounded almost exactly like the woman who had been on the phone, the doctor he presumed. Tony turned fast towards the voice, whirling until he found the woman he had been looking for.

She looked panicked. She looked panicked and saddened, as if -

As if someone had died.

“What happened?” The words came out tumbled together, pace too fast and mouth too slow for the words to have any real meaning. Tony looked at the doctor in fear at what he suspected.

“What happened?” The words were fully formed this time, much more confident in how he said them. The quiet the doctor found herself in was shaken away by his words and demands.

“Mr. Stark, while you were getting here May Parker suffered another heart attack.”

The words did not fully hit Tony until he realised the doom they held, the foreboding future they promised to unleash on Peter’s life. Then they hit like a massive fucking ton of bricks.

“Is she - is she gone?” Somehow the word dead got lodged in his throat, as if saying it aloud would make them real. Which was stupid because Tony already knew the reality of what had most likely happened, but just in case.

“Not yet,” the doctor said quietly. “But even if she survives initially, she would be on life support the rest of her life.”

Tony swallowed at the words, at the enormity of what he was now responsible for. Because Peter was his responsibility, always had been and always will be - now just amplified.

There were a million things Tony wanted to say, a million questions that would lead to a billion more, but only one stuck in his head with any real force.

Peter. He had to see Peter.

“Can I see him?” he asked finally. “Can I see Peter?” The doctor nodded, gesturing for Tony to follow him as they made their way deeper into the corridor of the hospital.

Eventually they made their way to a small, one off room with the door closed and cries echoing inside them.

“We brought him to an empty room when she fell into a coma,” the doctor said. “If a heart attack is severe enough and oxygen is cut off to the brain for long enough…” she shrugged helplessly at her own explanation.

Tony nodded before pointing to the door. "Can I go in now?" he asked, nerves on edge. The doctor nodded, holding the door open for him as Tony stepped inside, eyes immediately falling on the sobbing child.

Peter hadn't even chosen a chair, instead sinking to the floor as he cried. At the door opening he looked up, face flushed and wet as he spotted Tony.

“Peter, Peter come here -” was all Tony managed to say until the child turned and slammed himself into his arms, face wet and mouth choking out unintelligible words.

He had enough instinct in himself to wrap his arms around the child and rock him, trying desperately to keep Peter latched onto him. As if he could shield him from the reality of his situation if only the boy couldn't see anything but Tony’s shirt, hear his calming tone, feel his presence.

But the sobs coming from Peter were not going to let up anytime soon he knew. They sounded as if the boy himself had been condemned to death, that he would pass alongside his aunt. And maybe he thought he would, that with no relatives left standing in the way of the system that the boy would rather perish.

Tony would never let that happen. No, he would sooner adopt the boy then let him be swept away.

“C'mon Peter,” Tony whispered to the child through his sobs. “Just hold on a bit longer.”

~~~~

Somewhere.

Somewhere they stirred from rest, brought on by something, not anything that anyone could explain.

They could not see, blind to everything the world had to offer them. Their limbs trembled as they hoisted themselves up, the alien feeling of earth beneath their limbs giving away to confidence.

They cocked their heads to the heavens and heard, heard noises amplified so loud that it was almost painful. They would do anything to make those dreadful noises cease - anything to be blind and deaf once more.

Somewhere they stirred.

Somewhere.