twenty-seven.
Steve and Natalia walked Bucky into their bedroom and watched as he sat down on their bed and slumped over. They were nervous, nearly afraid of what'd just happened, and what could still happen if Bucky was in the middle of a fit... These things happened sometimes. Usually, they weren't so bad, just some snarky comments or angry glares for a little while, and then everything calmed down again and they had the real Bucky back again, but this was different. Bucky was in tears, and Steve can easily say that he hasn't seen Bucky cry since long before he went into the ice.
"James... What's got you so worked up, honey?" He heard Natalia ask as she sat beside him. She brushed his hair back from his face and he leaned into her gentle touch. Steve and Nat and Peter were the only people in this world that knew how to treat him with any kind of gentle care. He craved the soft touches he got... Everyone else was so... Rough.
Sam was learning, well, trying to learn. Once he punched Bucky in the shoulder, as a friendly greeting that's popular in this century, and the violence set Bucky off. Since then, Sam's found the line and known not to cross it. As a counselor to veterans with PTSD, Sam knew why Bucky reacted the way that he did.
"He... He betrayed you... He went... He went behind your backs and he..." Bucky's hands were shaking. Nat already suspected that there was a reason that Bucky was reacting this way to something so... Mediocre, but she didn't know what. She looked to Steve, who seemed to already have it all figured out.
"Buck... Is this about what you told me? About before?"
Bucky let out a whimpering sob that confirmed the answer to Steve's question. Natalia looked a little confused as she looked up at Steve, but he wasn't about to tell her. It wasn't his place and lovers or not it would be a serious break of trust and privacy to Bucky.
The room was nearly silent, no sounds filling the air but Bucky's cries and the grinding of the metal plates in his arm. He'd balled up his fist, and Steve knew he was angry, but Bucky looked like he was ready to speak, so he stayed silent to let him do so.
Bucky took a shaking breath and lifted his head slightly, hair in his eyes, "Before when I... When they had me... When I was... Him. When I was him, he... They made him, made me... Sometimes, sleep with people... T-To get information..." He swallowed loudly before continuing on, shaking getting worse as he progressed. "It always felt wrong... And I didn't... And I didn't know why until I was coming back... Until I was starting to be me again, and... And then I knew why. B-Because, if Steve was alive like I thought he was then that meant that I... That I was..."
Natalia wrapped her arm around him and pulled his head to her chest. "No, James, you didn't betray him... You couldn't have known."
Steve was silent, mentally making plans to wipe out every last HYDRA scum even if it meant dying in the process. He knew they wouldn't ever be free of this pain caused by those, as Peter said, snakes until Steve got rid of every last one of them.
Steve was a bit of a violent person when it came right down to it. He was never afraid to get into a fight, no matter what it might cost him. Even when he was smaller than Peter is now, he'd fight anyone with an attitude. Bucky always said he could be a dad with an attitude like that, and Steve always agreed. He'd always hoped that one day he and Bucky would be parents together.
Steve sat down and said nothing as Bucky put his head down into his lap. Today was a close one, he knew. Bucky almost slipped and killed Stark, and they couldn't have that. That'd put Bucky away again, and Steve wasn't about to let Bucky be taken away from him again. Especially not after the last time. He never thought he'd see Bucky again after the fall... That's why he didn't have any problems going into the ice. It would save a lot of people, and he already didn't have anything to lose at that point.
He had Peggy, but she wasn't really his. It was 1945. After Steve went into the ice, Peggy went on to fight, like he knew she would. She had a family. A husband, children. She became a godmother in 1970 when Howard and Maria had their baby. Steve would have only made her life more difficult... It's strange to think that if he'd been around, he probably would have been Tony's godfather all the same.
Tony... Steve didn't really know how he was supposed to feel about everything Tony'd just put him through in the last few months. They'd been arguing so much, but half of the time Steve didn't even know what they were arguing about. They'd argue for hours and make it from point A all the way to point Z and then some in as little as an hour. Their voices rose to levels so ungodly that Steve was glad the rooms were sound-proof.
He had sensed something was off about Tony recently, he just couldn't put his finger on it. Every time he approached the subject, Tony went on the defensive. Steve knew the signs. He knew what was happening, he just wanted to ignore it and be happy. He truly cared for Tony, but it was obvious that Tony didn't feel the same anymore.
Steve knew Tony was cheating, but the part that probably hurt the most is that he was cheating with Bruce. Someone who called himself Steve's friend. Someone who regularly smiled in his direction greeted him with kindness and respect. Someone who cracked jokes with and ate dinner next to and spoke to when he was having problems. He used to go and rant about Tony sometimes because even if Bruce wasn't listening then Steve would've gotten it off of his chest.
Maybe, he thinks, Bruce had been listening to him the whole time, relaying the information to Tony. Maybe he was helping him change and somewhere the line got... Muddled.
But it doesn't matter now, what's done is done... Steve can easily say that when Bruce came to talk to him today, the one thing he wasn't prepared to hear was 'Tony and I have been having an affair behind your backs'. He really didn't expect to hear 'Tony and Bucky have been alone together for a while and Friday just alerted me that Tony's in danger and I need your help' either.
He sure as shit didn't expect to see Bucky in such a state... He was really in the mood for a cigarette, but he refused to move while Bucky was laying across his lap. Bucky was more important to him right now, though if he mentioned it to Bucky he'd probably agree and have one for himself... No! Steve, stop it, it's about Bucky right now.
He carded his fingers through Bucky's hair and sighed as he looked to Nat. She looked stressed and worried all at once. She looked like she needed a strong drink and a nap, but instead, she settled for grabbing a book and sitting at Steve's feet so he could play with her hair too.
Steve's stress was slowly leaving his body as he looked after the two of them. He was quick to realize that this was all he needed, just Nat and Bucky. Stark was too complicated to deal with. Buck and Nat were both very straightforward and blunt, never hiding what they wanted. If they wanted it, they told Steve about it and he did what he could for them.
Right now, they've silently told him that they just need him and his caring touch... He was told that once more when Peter arrived home from school. Bucky stirred and jolted upright so quickly that Steve was worried he'd had a nightmare, but he watched as Bucky's eyes settled on the door that opened mere seconds later to reveal Peter. His cheeks had tear tracks all over them and his body shook with the force of his sobs. His face was red and blotchy, covered in tears and snot.
Steve could see the watch on his wrist was lit up red, and from here he could hear it vibrating. The moment he was about to stand, Bucky stood and crossed the room to the boy and pulled him carefully into his arms. Bucky was closest to Peter, there was no doubt, so it wasn't really a surprise when Peter let himself fall against Bucky's chest for a cry.
"Что случилось, маленький?" Bucky spoke into Peter's hair. Natasha smiled at the name he called Peter.
The boy in question gripped tighter onto Bucky and cried harder. "They never stop!" Was what he managed through his tears. Everyone automatically assumed it to be the bullies that have plagued Peter's life as of late, and he told them that they were getting so bad he couldn't even focus on patrol anymore.
Bucky held Peter tighter, but only for a moment. He felt the boy wince against his chest and let him go. "What's happened to you?" Bucky asked.
Peter hesitates before answering. "They... They beat me up in the bathroom today... Still hurts. I'm not... I'm not healing right, I don't know what's wrong."
Bucky frowned impossibly harder and turned to Nat. She seemed to understand, just like Steve did. Despite the whole ordeal, they'd all just gone through, Peter needed Tony. He just hoped they'd all be on the same page of pretending that nothing happened between them, for Peter's sake. The poor kid had enough going on already as it was, they didn't want to add to his stress.
So, they set back out to find Tony.