Chapter 4
Ava wasn’t fond of the morning shift, for several reasons. The first and obvious one was that she had to be at the bar early to prepare for the opening. Besides a few regulars she befriended, the place was empty and she didn’t have a lot of things to do.
For her, morning shift equals boredom, so she had to find ways to occupy herself that doesn’t include inventing new cocktails and trying them herself, she made that promise to Hans.
She needed distraction, especially for the last 3 days, because all she had in mind was to kiss Beatrice. She should feel embarrassed, after all she felt like a horny teenager but why would she care about that when she was able to kiss Beatrice ?!
The sister warrior’s lips were perfect; so soft, and with the perfect shape to melt with her own and ugh…see why Ava needed distraction ?
At first it was awkward, but she didn’t expect less. She had to convince Beatrice that monitoring each kiss and the evolution of her control of the halo on a notebook (a freaking notebook ?!) was not necessary.
In the end, she knew Beatrice was just like that. When she has a task in front of her, she’ll put her heart and soul to it. She was dedicated and it was endearing to say the least. Most importantly, Ava refused to read too much into it, because her mind would go on spiraling about how it could be a safety measure for the Sister Warrior, a way to keep their extra training under control, to not let anything more slip between them…
No Ava, focus, it’s just the way Beatrice is, and it’s cute, but don’t try to dig for something that is not here !
Throughout the months they spent together, she made it her own mission to help Ava with knowledge one could call “basic”, like swimming or the very first one, one Ava held dearest in her heart, how she helped her to learn how to write again.
Ava knew how to write, don’t get her wrong. She learned at school when she was 6, but got paralyzed at 7. And after 12 years she was on her feet again. The first time she even held a pencil again when was she wrote that note to Vincent, “I want to live”, because fuck yes, she wanted to live again.
With this mindset, one of the first things she did to reclaim her life was to learn how to write again. It started as an embarrassing revelation, but in the end it was one memory Ava knew she would cherish forever;
When they were still on the run, somewhere in northern Italy and about to reach Switzerland, Beatrice was driving the van they borrowed (Beatrice’s word, not hers), leaving the one they used to escape Vatican City behind. It was a reckless journey for the both of them, they were barely sleeping as they tried to put as much distance between them and Adriel as possible.
Mother Superion was calling, regarding important information and whereabouts about the OCS. Beatrice naturally asked her to write down the important part, as she was driving. Ava was aware that for most people it wouldn't be that big of a deal, and she knew how to write.
She knew it, except she stopped learning when most kids still are. So it was taking her time, and her handwriting was bad, awful she thought, and she couldn't keep up with what was asked of her. She felt humiliated at that moment, and was too embarrassed to tell Beatrice and Mother Superion who was still on the phone.
As a result Ava shut herself from her surroundings for the rest of the day, Beatrice sensed something was wrong and that night, in their makeshift camp in the back of their van, Ava snapped at her when she asked her what was wrong.
"I'm a dumb shit and couldn't write everything Mother told us okay?!"
"Ava you are not dumb, it’s-"
"I am, I can't even write properly ! Of course I was the perfect choice for manipulation!" she said as she threw the notebook away. The frustration of the past week she kept inside erupted at that moment.
“Ava Please” Beatrice started, “Look at me” she asked Ava,her voice firm yet calming. “You are not dumb, you’re a survivor and one of the bravest people I know”. She noticed how the younger woman was still agitated and took her hands, soothing it. In the darkness of the night, their only light source was a flashlight they fixed on the roof of the van. But even with the rough settlement Ava could see the pride and tenderness in Beatrice’s eyes. The Sister Warrior was convinced and wanted Ava to realize her worth.
“Because of what happened to you, you were bereaved of so many things, yet you made the most of the situation, you managed to learn things no one would have, like what you did to tend Mary’s leg? I don’t know a lot of civilians knowing how to do this, and knowing what to do in that situation.”
Beatrice took the notebook but did not comment on her handwriting. Instead she took a new page and looked back at the Warrior Nun.
"I can help you, if you want" there were no judgements or bad feelings in her voice, only care, and it melted Ava's heart. “Besides, youngsters these days barely write things down, it’s all about smartphone, so I’m pretty sure there is worse handwriting out there.” the Sister Warrior declared, a clear attempt to light up the mood. Her endeavor didn’t go unnoticed, and it finally put a smile on the Warrior Nun’s lips.
“Okay, Boomer” replied Ava, joking as she nudged the sister warrior’s shoulder.
The two of them wrote their names over and over again in that notebook. At that time, being so close to Beatrice and her comfortable self, Ava never felt this much like home.
The exercise went from writing their names to making copies of newspaper articles, or whatever text they could find on the run. When they settled in the apartment, Ava did not stop to practice, as she had access to a whole bookshelf, small yet full of very interesting books.
She made sure to always have a book with her to write whenever she had the opportunity, and certainly a calm morning at the bar sounded like the perfect time to write a page or two.
So she went for her bag and took the book she’s been copying for the last few days. It was a poetry collection from Edward Estlin Cummings. It was an old edition from 1994 and Ava was almost sure the book never left the bookshelf it belonged to before Beatrice and her rented the place.
She read it in one go, definitively putting the author in her growing list of favorites. One poem resonated within her, ”I carry your heart with me”, and she couldn’t help but write it down several times already.
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)
i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
Ava knew the poem by heart, She barely needed to look at the book at that point. Reading her handwriting a few times, she left content, proud of herself even. Sure thing, there was still room for amelioration, but she grew to love her imperfect cursive letters, and how her phrases weren’t really straight (“there is nothing straight with me” as she would joke about it to Beatrice).
“Look who it is, if it’s not my favorite hobbit.”
Her thoughts were interrupted as JC approached the bar counter.
“For someone who was just passing by, you’re staying longer than expected.” she said, looking one last time at her notebook before moving back to the center of the bar counter. JC had already taken his place, at least the one he fancied for the last few days.
“What can I say ? The audience loves me.”
“Sure…he’s not here by the way.”
“Hmm ?”
“Hans shift starts in 2 hours.”
“Hey, maybe I just came here at 10am just to see you.” he said, adding a wink for dramatic purpose.
Ava responded with a fake gag reflex.
“What do you want ?”
“Wow, is that what you called good bartending ?”
“JC, I swear if you’re here just to annoy me-”
“I’m not, chill Ava, I actually want the breakfast special ?”
“Sure thing” said Ava doubtfully, still gauging his answer. The Warrior Nun turned around to prepare JC’s order. It was quiet for a while, as she was focused on her actions. On the other side of the counter, she did not notice her friend finding her notebook.
Out of curiosity mostly, JC took the notebook and read it at the opened page. Intrigued, he then browsed through it. He smiled as he realized what was the content of it.
“Is this part of some weird teacher/student roleplay you have with your girlfriend ? No judgment though.”
“What ?” Ava asked. She turned around and saw her notebook in the hands of her friend.
“Dude what the fuck ? Never learn to not touch other people's stuff ?”
“What ? I was curious. So ? Is the nun secretly a hot teacher ?” he kept on asking, wiggling his eyebrows.
“Ew dude stop being gross!” exclaimed Ava, slightly offended. Although she couldn’t help her ears to take a light shade of pink, maybe some roleplay was on her life to do list.
“I’m just practicing, because well, I didn’t get to write shits growing up, you know ?”
“That explains the ink stain on your hand. Jeez, you’re literally like a kid sometimes.”
“Is this Annoy Ava day ?! Dude do you want to fight or what ?!”
JC was laughing at this point. He knew Ava was not really angry. Somehow their newfound friendship came with a lot of teasing.
“I’m just bored Ava, and it’s so easy to trigger you. Also, you’re cute when you’re mad, I can’t help it.”
“Well you shouldn’t bother the one feeding you, who knows if there is salt in your coffee now ?”
“You wouldn’t.”
“Try me, bitch.”
“What’s going on here ?”
Busy bickering, they did not notice Beatrice coming from the front door of the bar. The Sister Warrior heard them as soon as she walked in. As usual her face remained expressionless, yet Ava lighted up seeing her.
“Hi Bea,” Ava gleefully greeted the other girl. “JC is making fun of me, please hit him.”
“I am not !”
“He called me a rugrats because I’m practicing my handwriting” the Warrior Nun said with a pout.
“Why are you practicing here?” Beatrice asked her. she was on JC’s left and took back Ava’s notebook, smiling as she saw the last entry.
“I was bored.”
“Ava..you’re at work.”
“So ? It was only me and Jean-Pierre over there until this idiot showed up, AND I already reached the end of the conversation I could have with that old man. I even placed a bet for today’s horse race, he told me No 3 “Turbo Trotter” is on a roll.”
“Ava…” Beatrice started, already exhausted by this conversation. She quickly took an angry glance at the old man sitting on a table by the door. Seeing her, he hid behind his newspaper.
“I already told you not to listen to Jean-Pierre and certainly not betting your money on horse races.”
“Long story short, JC is bullying me.” Ava quickly said, leading the conversation away from her.
Beatrice switched between Ava and the man beside herself. JC had his hand in the air, surrendering.
“I only told her she had ink on her hand, I swear.”
“You laughed.”
“I’m just a man, I have a basic brain that makes me laugh at anything okay ??”
“Bea is so gonna beat you up.”
“You’re bluffing” JC said to Ava with narrowed eyes before looking at the nun who had her head in her hands “Please don’t hit me” he pleaded.
“Why would I even ?”
“It’s just like in Firenze again.” declared Ava, defending her point of view.
“This situation is nothing like Firenze Ava.”
“Wait…You went to Firenze ?” Asked a confused JC “And what happened?”
“Yeah, on our way to here. Bea beat a guy for me.” Ava said with pride.
“He was disrespectful and was warned on multiple occasions, I don’t usually resort to violence but I had no other choices.”
“What did he do ?”
“He was hitting on me, but in a fucking gross way. And he was like a hundred years old.”
Like the pieces of a ridiculous puzzle were matching in his brain, a grin formed on JC’s lips as he looked at the Sister Warrior.
“Well well well, Sister.”
“He..He was too close to us as we were discussing sensitive information, I could certainly not let him here about…the OCS or our escape plan.” Beatrice finished her sentence in a whisper, briefly glancing at the other customer.
“Yeah, sure” he said, the grin on his face only grew bigger.
“Anyways, this is warning number one JC.” Beatrice quickly concluded, switching the focus on something else. Ava was laughing behind the counter as the man's face fell.
“Unbelievable !” he said. Turning back to Ava he pointed at her “You have too much power over people here, stop laughing, you witch.”
“Ugh I can’t wait to kick your cocky ass on Karaoke night dude.”
“And I can’t wait to laugh at your sorry ass when I’ll destroy any score you’ll make.”
“Saturday night then.”
“Yeah”
“Maybe you’re hot but you’re a fucking twit.”
“I can’t believe I fell for your damsel in distress bullshit.”
“Shitface.”
“Dwarf.”
“Can you two just stop for a second ?” Beatrice exclaimed, already feeling a headache coming thanks to the two in front of her.
“Sorry Bea.”
“My bad, Sister.”
Beatrice slightly shook her head, this duo right there had a very uncommon to display their friendship, uncommon by the Sister Warrior standard at least. She closed the notebook and handed it to Ava. their hands touched on the counter, and Ava couldn’t help but linger for a few more seconds, conveying her apology through touch. it worked, as she noticed the small smile Beatrice gave her in return, and the way her fingers lightly tighten around her hand.
“I’ll be upstairs, I have paperworks to fill. Call me if you need anything ?”
“Okay boss, see you around” Ava responded, smiling back at her.
With her eyes, she followed Beatrice walking in the room, then the stairs until she couldn’t see her anymore. As she tried to control her smile she bit her lower lips, but that attempt at controlling her face was bound to fail.
“Damn girl, you’ve got it bad” JC said, apparently a front witness of everything.
And for the first time that morning, Ava was out of answer. Because JC was right, she was falling more and more for the Sister Warrior.
—-
The day went mostly uneventful, if it wasn’t for the never ending bickers of Ava and JC. Beatrice knew it wasn’t harmful so she let them, as it looked like it was a source of entertainment for the regular patrons.
Ava left early in the afternoon, as her shift ended with the promise to train by herself.
But like the social butterfly she was, she came back later during the evening. Beatrice was finishing her last task in the storage room behind the bar when she noticed her back. She was surrounded by a group of 3, 2 girls and one man. She recognized them as regulars, a group of friends on holidays, renting an airbnb nearby. They befriended Ava quickly and already came for a few evenings since the week prior.
They were close to a high table filled with empty drinks and appetizers and were moving along to the EDM songs that were blasting through the speakers.
Ava looked so carefree, it was a sight Beatrice wished she could imprint. Sometimes she was so focused on their mission, she forgot Ava wasn’t only the Warrior Nun, but a young woman. She was having fun, so Beatrice decided to leave alone, letting Ava enjoy as many carefree moments as she could.
She returned to the silence of their small apartment and took a few minutes to just enjoy the quiet surrounding her before mending for her evening activities. She had to admit, she grew fond of the austere silence of the church. That self inflicted or sometimes mandatory muteness helped her to sharpen her senses as well as her mind. It would help her focus therefore make her a better soldier.
She had a bit of a struggle to get used to living as an undercover bar’s manager. Everything was just so loud, all the time. From the customers to the workers to the delivery man, Beatrice felt she was surrounded by noisy, crude people who would often make it difficult for her to stay concentrated and aware of any potential threat.
That was it, until she realized she was looking at the picture with the wrong mindset. Yes, these people were loud, would make more than often salacious jokes and spill their drink on the counter or on the floor, but they were just being carefree, enjoying their life with passion. She would witness moments of solidarity within the wall of La Vasseur, these people were like a family of foolish yet kind souls and Beatrice grew fond of them. Her heart would swell when she realized how Ava accustomed herself to this environment, as she also was loud and carefree, could make a living out of salacious jokes and wouldn’t hesitate to help any customers in distress. Even if at the end of the day Beatrice would just enjoy 10 minutes in the silence inside their apartment, she also swore she would do anything to protect this place from the evil they were facing.
Focusing again, she changed into her training outfit, getting ready for her daily hour of cardio exercises. There wasn't much she could do in the tiny space of their apartment, but Beatrice didn’t want to register at the local gym, doing the routine she had in public would only draw unwanted attention. So she was doing the best she could with the few pieces of equipment she had. After some stretching she would use her jumping rope for at least 15 minutes. She then went for push up, squat jump and burpees, alternating the exercises until she could feel the satisfying burning in her muscles.
Using one of the 3 large hooks they installed on top of the kitchen door frame, Beatrice installed the medium size punching bag usually hidden behind the couch. After putting on her training gloves she started to hit the bag. It was essential for her to do these exercises on a daily basis, on top of running and Ava’s training. Because it was her mission for the time being, keeping a low profile and training until they’d be called back for duty.
The last few minutes of her session were, however, perturbed as she noticed her notebook on the dresser on the right side of the wall. She wrote everything inside, from their food consumption to their training details as well as a few personal thoughts. Lately she wanted to monitor Ava’s control of the halo before and after a kiss, but due to Ava’s objection she went against her idea. Beatrice was well aware the writing it down on her notebook was a bit of an exaggeration, but she has to do this. She had to control the situation as much as she could. She had to stick to her own words, It was for duty, to help the Halo Bearer master her abilities to the fullest, she should not feel ashamed and certainly, the pleasure she felt whenever she kissed Ava was misplaced pride on seeing her friend taking her training seriously.
She had to believe this, she was trying hard to believe this because admitting otherwise, admitting that warm feeling was more than pride and caving into thinking that Ava herself read more into that exercice would leave her spiraling, and it was not the time, not when the fate of the world was at the stake. Kissing Ava should not be about personal feelings or pleasure, Beatrice decided for the sake of her barely repaired boxes.
Since her mind drifted from her training, Beatrice called it a day and put the punching bag away. She also put the notebook away from her eyes.
It was already getting late when, after a shower and a light dinner, Beatrice allowed herself some leisure time. It was dark outside so she lightened the living room with the few lamps disposed throughout the room. She had her tea cooling down on the side table and was beginning a new book from the collection provided with the apartment. She had read a few chapters already and was already hooked.
Half an hour in she heard the jingling of keyrings by the front door. She looked toward the direction of the kitchen, against her better judgment, when she heard Ava’s voice mumbling something. She tried to resist but eventually smiled to herself, already feeling butterflies in her stomach.
“Good Evening Ava” she said before thinking. She closed her book, putting it alongside her cup of tea. “Dinner’s on the fridge if you’re hungry, some veggies with chicken and pasta. No spinach, I learned from last time” she said in one go.
After reading the last words of the sentence previously abandoned, Beatrice placed her bookmark and closed the book, choosing to give her full attention to the Warrior Nun. So when she realized how silent she was, she found it odd. Usually Ava would start rambling about her day as soon as she opened the door, without even checking if Beatrice was in the apartment.
“Ava ?” she tried, moving on the couch to have a better look at the woman in the kitchen.
She saw her putting her share of the dinner on a plate and then on the microwave, but couldn’t see her face. Maybe Ava was so hungry, she was rushing to have food in her system. It wouldn’t be out of character.
“Did you had fun tonight ?” she tried once again, yet only found silence in return.
Beatrice quickly learned that when it was about Ava, she didn’t have any patience, for good or bad outcomes. So she stood and went to the kitchen, stopping at the frame and leaning on it, observing the smaller woman. Still facing the microwave, her back on Beatrice and looking at her phone, waiting for her food to eat up.
“Ava are you okay ?” Beatrice asked, her voice softer as she fought the worries and irrational thoughts from taking over. Finally Ava turned around and Beatrice was lost. She was crossing her arms and had an annoyed expression all over her face.
“I’m not Bea, actually I’m mad at you.”
“At me ?”
“Yeah”
“What did I do ?” Beatrice asked, a little baffled by the situation
“You left.”
“I’m sorry ?”
“You left the bar without me.” Ava said. Beatrice could tell the younger woman wasn’t as mad as she was trying to convey, on the contrary, the pout she was harboring made her look more cute than angry. Suddenly the Sister Warrior felt lighter, her worry went a few levels down.
“You were with your friends, I didn’t want to intrude.”
“Maybe I wanted to come back with you.”
“Ava, I've been home for more than 2 hours already.”
“So ? You could at least have told me you were living.”
The microwave’s ringing distracted them. Ava turned around to take her plate back and as she moved to the kitchen table, Beatrice was already seated in front of her. By instinct the Sister Warrior moved closer to the younger woman. she took her hand on the table and fiddled with her fingers.
“I know how you like to stay at the bar, just to enjoy carousing there and well, it’s not really my thing. But I won’t take that away from you Ava, so I didn’t tell you because I wanted you to have fun.”
Her voice was soft, softer than she wanted it to be, but really, even if it was for a small and almost futile quarrel, Beatrice couldn’t stand the idea of Ava being mad at her. When she felt Ava squeeze her fingers, she looked up to meet Ava’s stare. The pout was still there, but even cuter than before her explanation.
“Okay I guess you have a point” she quickly said, earning a chuckle from the Sister Warrior.
“I’m sorry for leaving without telling you, Ava.”
“Well maybe I overreacted, sorry about that.”
Their bickering died down as Ava finished her meal. As she went to wash the plate and cutlery, Beatrice returned to her seat on the couch, aiming to resume the book waiting for her. Ava soon joined her and Beatrice expected the late evening to be of the same kind as the quiet ones they have whenever one of them weren’t on night shift or whenever they didn’t have night training planned. Ava would most likely turn on the TV to a new movie or some reality shows, really anything that would entertain her. And the Sister Warrior quickly learned that Ava wasn't picky with her entertainment choice or rather, was curious about anything, without any taboo or restraint. But she also was a bit skittish and therefore, they banned gory horror movies off the “to watch” list.
“How’s your ankle?” Ava asked her. She was on the opposite side of the couch, her back against the armchair.
“I’m sorry ?”
“Your ankle, you twisted it the last time we were sparring.”
“It’s fine, I told you already didn’t I ?”
“Yeah but I know how you train Bea, especially when I’m not here to be a liability”
“Ava you’re not a liability, and my ankle is fine, you made sure of it.”
That injury wasn’t really one, at most it was a reminder for Beatrice to be careful with her feet placement. Yet when it happened Ava took it so seriously, she would have carried the Sister Warrior to their apartment if she didn’t stop her. Instead she applied ointment and massaged the ankle for so long, Beatrice had plenty of time to overthink and process the embarrassment she felt at that physical contact.
“Okay, I believe you, but remember we need your badass ninja’s ankle on top of their health.”
“The same goes for you Ava”
“Hm?”
“With the way you frantically jump around whenever that loud music is on the bar, you might sprained your ankles there as well.”
“I’m sorry, “jump around” and “loud music”, Bea I’m just dancing.”
“Meh, I don’t know if it is classified as dancing, I’m sorry Ava.”
Would it be wrong if Beatrice was teasing Ava just to have another glimpse at that cute pout ? Judging from the gasp the younger woman drew, she was on the right path.
“No offense Bea, but you have that boomer tendency to look down on cool young stuff”
“What ?”
“I mean, dance is just dance, you know ? You like a song and your body moves along”
“There is thousand years of legacy in dance history Ava, I can’t let you call moving along EDM bass “dancing”, there are techniques and structures and- “
“Bea, expressing the way a song makes you feel through dancing should not be about techniques and structures, but spontaneity.”
“Get up” Beatrice suddenly said, moving from the couch herself. Her plan backfired, but she was determined to prove her point to the Warrior Nun. She went to the old CD player that was left to their disposal and took a quick look at the available records. Once she found one, she put it on the device and hit the play button. Almost immediately the living room was surrounded by classical music.
“What ?”
“Get up Ava” Beatrice repeated, offering her hands.
Ava took it and gasped when the sister warrior drew her closer to her. She placed a hand on her waist as the other took Ava’s.
“Put your left hand on my shoulder”
“What ? Bea, what are you doing ?”
“Structure and technique can let you express feelings Ava, let me show you how. Now, put your hand on my shoulder.”
As they settled themselves, Beatrice started moving her feet.
“Follow my lead” she said, and Ava obliged, stunned by the sudden yet pleasant authority in the nun’s voice.
The song was slow, so were their moves as the exiguity of the living area played against Beatrice’s demonstration. Yet Beatrice felt Ava slowly relaxing. Their eyes were locked with each other and the wonder and amusement in Ava’s were fading, replace by easiness
“Ballroom dancing with someone is all about expression, Ava.” she started explaining, her eyes still on the smaller woman. Beatrice tried her best to stay focused on her new found task, and not on the look on Ava’s face.
The space they had to dance was only a few meters wide, yet Beatrice made the most of it, leading Ava left and right and secretly enjoying the control of their movement.
“The right technique and sharp moves can express a thousand words” she continued, her hand on Ava’s waist tightening its hold. “It can even be more intimate than a kiss shared by lovers.” she finished her plea with a small voice, lost in Ava’s gaze, under the spell of the soft song surrounding them. By the look of it, Ava was enthralled too, her eyes never leaving Beatrice.
Then, when they were only moving in slow circles around the room, no words between them were needed. Ava was so close, it would normally alarm her as it wasn’t in a training circumstance. Maybe it was the music or the mood between them that night, but Beatrice was at ease with their closeness, even more, she craved it. They did not separate when the song changed to another one. If anything, Beatrice felt Ava’s hand on her shoulder going higher, up to the back of her neck.
“Okay, I can see the appeal of it.” she heard the Warrior Nun whisper. Her gaze was going from Beatrice’s eyes to her lips in rapid motion. Beatrice was hung up on that movement and her breath stopped when she felt the hand she was holding a few seconds prior grazing the skin of her cheek.
“Bea, I…It’s okay if I kiss you ?” Ava asked, looking so vulnerable Beatrice’s instinct to protect her took over before her overthinking brain and its boxes made of nonsense could.
She nodded and leaned in, letting her face be at Ava’s level. At that moment she could not think of any reasons to deny the Warrior Nun’s request and even if she did, she would find arguments against herself.
By the time their lips touched again, Ava’s right hand found the other one and locked themselves behind her neck. Instinct kicking again, Beatrice put her free hand on the other side of Ava’s waist, pulling her even closer. They stopped moving their body to the song, but their lips started a dance of their own.
Beatrice was sure it was what heaven would feel like. Kissing Ava was a blessing, and it was just wrong pretending it was just for an exercise.
Maybe she could be selfish a little bit, just for that night. In all honesty, she knew the world wouldn’t suddenly combust because she decided that kissing Ava should not be about training her control of the Halo, but because her lips were so soft and addictive, and because she liked how Ava softly gasped whenever their lips touched and how Ava would leaned whenever she would gently nibbled on her lower lip.
To hell with the excuse of training, Beatrice just wanted to kiss Ava because she liked it. She’d deal with whatever her shame rotten brain would throw at her another time.
The breathy whimper Ava drew as she went to caress her neck only boosted Beatrice’s confidence. She withdrew for a few seconds and opened her eyes. The Halo was definitively glowing, and when she saw how Ava’s was blushing, eyes closed and softly panting as she was catching her breath Beatrice felt something in her. That instinct that was still in control knew exactly what to do; she used her thumb to draw small patterns on the side of Ava's gasping mouth. It was only when her determined stare met with Ava’s wondering one that she decided to escalate what felt like their skydiving discovery of needs and exploration to the next level.
Her thumb went lower on Ava’s face, letting it stroke her plump and shining lower lip before taking a hold on her chin, enabling her to have control over Ava’s slightly open mouth . Ava could only stare at her with a somehow new yet familiar hunger in her eyes and nodded, giving her permission to do anything she wanted and Beatrice did not waste any more time; she lowered her head once again and after a few pecks she deepened their kisses. Their tongues collided and they both moaned at the sensation. Beatrice instantly decided it was worth whatever punishment from hell was waiting for her. It took them a few seconds of adjustment but soon enough, their tongues resumed that dance that was far enough from the ballroom dance Beatrice wanted to teach Ava.
The Sister Warrior quickly understood that the hunger she saw in Ava’s eyes had a partner within her own hunger taking over her. It was like a fire spreading all over, yet the burning sensation wasn’t painful. Quite the contrary actually, it was pleasant in a way a Nun should not be allowed to feel but again, Hell and shame could wait another night.
When she felt her lungs burning in agony, Beatrice reluctantly stopped making out with the Warrior Nun. However she couldn’t not find it in herself to be separated from Ava, as they were catching their breath, forehead sticking together they both opened their eyes to meet the other stare, unspoken questions hanging in the air.
Beatrice could feel the spell slowly fading away, so she chased after it until the last second, peppering Ava’s face with light kisses, from the corner of her mouth to her cheek and nose, to her jaw and shell of her ears until a final kiss on her forehead.
“I..I don’t think ballroom dancing needs that much of tongues Bea.” Ava declared, her voice steady enough.
Beatrice laughed, feeling the tension and the anticipation of awkwardness dropping in a second. Thank you Ava, for choosing the right way to tackle down that overthinking brain.
“No it definitely doesn’t”
“Yet again, I don’t think the ballroom dance lord or whatever wouldn’t mind if we were bending their rules for a bit.” she continued and Beatrice could read the double meaning on Ava’s eyes. She was giving her arguments for her own battle, Beatrice’s heart skipped a bit when she realized it.
“I don’t think they would, indeed” she replied, smiling at the smaller woman.
Before breaking their hug, Ava kissed her one last time. Beatrice’s confidence fed from it. Maybe it was okay to overthink that one thing, maybe it was okay to believe that like her, Ava was reading more into that special training they agreed on. After all, they did agree that the Halo was glowing whenever Ava was feeling strong emotion and after their dance, the living room was irradiated by that glowing and soothing golden light from the Warrior Nun’s back.
“Next time Bea, I’m showing you how good it is to lose control over jumping to EDM feels like, okay ?”
“It seems like you’re doing miracle after miracle, so why not ?”
“Oh my god Bea ! you agreed ! you can’t back off now ! I can’t wait to see that coming ! Cam will never believe me !”
Ava’s glee was so contagious, neither of them realized that as they were going back to sit on the couch to resume their quiet evening while holding hands.