Do You See What I See/ I’m Getting Nuttin’
Jessica sighed dramatically as she trailed after Malcolm. If it hadn’t been for the fact he had hidden all her liquor she’d have never agreed to come. “This is stupid.”
“It’s not stupid. It’s for a good cause. Helping people, Jessica.”
“Don’t wanna help people…” she muttered under her breath. It wasn’t exactly true. Helping people was kinda what she did. But she much preferred helping people by beating up other people. Not by hanging out in Stark Tower singing. Singing! What was the world coming to?
“Where’s your holiday spirit?” Came the snarky overly cheerful quip from the idiot lawyer who thought running around in a leather mask while blind was a good idea.
“Left it in my liquor cabinet.”
“Which you’re not getting back into until after this is done.” It was official. Malcolm was an asshole.
Coming up to the elevator she wasn’t unhappy to see Luke waiting for them. “Don’t be like that, Jessica. It can’t be all that bad. Besides, your sister seemed pretty excited about it.”
“I hate you all,” Jessica grumbled. “Where’s Danny? How’d he get out of this stupidity?”
“Well first off,” Luke began, pressing the down button, “Danny’s Buddhist or some shit. So technically he shouldn’t even be involved.”
“Oh right. That whole ‘Giving up worldly possessions’ thing. How’s that going for him?”
“Well, he’s not running around happily naked, so I think he’s still got a ways to go,” Foggy informed them far too happily. Did nothing phase that man?
“And then Foggy had to go and point that out to him, so now he’s definitely not coming.” Claire said, a smirk on her face.
“Awww the rich white boy’s feelings got hurt.” Luke laughed with maybe a bit of maliciousness behind it. Jessica could understand that, Danny might have been enlightened and a good guy sometimes, but he was an enlightened jackass.
Speaking of jackass… “Why is there a donkey?” Jessica asked as the elevator doors opened with a quiet ding.
Vision who was some sort of…. Technological…. Person… thing… let out a sigh. “Please, don’t ask. The bots are not allowed to be left unsupervised during recording. And F.R.I.D.A.Y. no longer counts as a chaperone.”
“Okay, that explains nothing,” Jessica said.
“Well, I just tend to assume rich people do crazy things.” Foggy shrugged.
“And rich white men be nuts.” Luke said, sharing a fistbump with the corporate lawyer.
“Uhh, there aren’t any droppings on the floor I should be aware of?” Matt asked hesitantly. Foggy was usually good about warning him about stuff like that, but sometimes he got distracted when there were cute animals around. The last thing he needed was to be cleaning donkey dung off his shoes.
Jessica raised her eyebrows, “What, you can’t just ninja-sense where it is?”
“It doesn’t work that way.” Matt, Foggy and Claire answered at the same time.
“Wow, apparently nobody in this group can take a joke.”
“I thought you were funny.” Malcolm said, shuffling around the room.
“You, you don’t count right now. So shut up.”
“Okay,” Malcolm sighed, shuffling off to pet the donkey. “You’re my friend, right?” he asked Dominick quietly. He got a soft “hee haw” before Dominick started nibbling at his sleeve.
“Right. Before we all get distracted and start petting the --ridiculously adorable-- donkey, maybe we should do the whole singing thing first?” Claire suggested in a voice that was more school teacher than nurse.
“Do we have to?” Jessica asked petulantly. Superhero she might be, but she wasn’t above a little whining now and again.
“If you want your booze, yes.” Claire replied calmly. Stupid traitor had been trying to get her into an AA meeting for weeks.
“I’m all for this charity album,” Matt said, “but did we have to pick this song?”
“Yes!” everyone else chorused.
“Face it, you were out voted.” Jessica laughed.
Matt was giving her a look, and she knew it. “Well, personally I think our other song is much more appropriate.”
“Hate you. So much.” She replied with a smile as she picked her weapon. “Ah, the cowbell, my old friend.”
“What are you going to do with that?” Luke asked her. “This isn’t really a cowbell kind of song.”
Jessica’s expression said quite clearly, Have you met me? Do I look like I care? “Every song is a cowbell kind of song.”
“Children,” Claire said warningly.
All of them grumbled in protest, but it would be a lie to say it wasn’t good natured. “Someone’s going to have to let me know when to start you know.” Matt pointed out.
“Don’t worry, I’ll kick you,” Jessica told him with a bright smile.
Foggy glared at the private investigator. “Or you could count like any other sane person. Oh wait…”
“You’re so funny. Really.” Jessica deadpanned.
“I don’t know; man’s kind of got a point, Jessica. Besides, you kick him, he tries to punch you, and you know I’ll get involved. Somehow I don’t think Stark is going to appreciate it if we trash his place.” Luke pointed out. “So, I’ll count us in. No kicking. No punching.”
“No fun.”
“Matt, don’t encourage her!” Foggy hissed.
“Don’t make me turn this recording studio around…” Claire joked. Or thought she was joking. At this point she wasn’t sure.
“As this location is fixed in time and space that is not actually possible.” Vision’s voice echoed into the recording studio, reminding them they weren’t alone. “However, I believe the Captain has often expressed similar sentiments. Might I suggest recording your allotted songs? Once you do so you are free to leave if you so wish. There will be a quite lavish meal provided if you do decide to stay. The bots are not cooking.”
“Yeah! Free food!” Foggy cheered.
“I’m always up for free food.” Jessica agreed, glancing at Luke.
The large man shrugged, “You know me; never one to turn down a meal.”
“Sounds like it’s time to get this party started!” Malcolm said happily, trying to tug his sleeve out of the donkey’s mouth. Dominick was having none of it, though. There was a ripping sound as Malcolm's cuff tore off.
Before anyone could attempt to rescue what was left of the shirt the music started. Apparently those weird robots were tired of waiting.
"Said the barkeep to his PI friend
Do you see what I see? (Do you see what I see?)
Way up on that skyscraper, friend?
Do you see what I see? (Do you see what I see?)
A guy, a guy
Beating up bad guys
With a suit as red as the sky
With a suit as red as the sky"
Jessica had to cowbell aggressively to not burst into laughter. The line was brilliant, and she couldn’t believe it hadn’t come from her. Judging by Foggy’s grin it was his doing.
“Apparently we’re on Mars now?” Claire whispered quietly to Luke.
“Just go with it.” He whispered back, trying to keep up with the song. He really didn’t want to have to go through this one more than a few times. Something told him they’d all start to lose it around the fourth or fifth time.
Thankfully Luke was saved when Matt snatched the cowbell out of Jessica’s hand after the third take. “My turn. You’re up,” he told her, immune to the death glares she was shooting his way.
Despite the glare once the music started up again she couldn’t keep her face from breaking into a grin. This had always been her favorite holiday song.
"We getting nuttin for Christmas
Cause we ain’t been nothin’ but bad!
I broke a bat on Killgrave’s head
Somebody snitched on me"
The others cut her off,
"We hid a frog in Jessica’s bed."
Not to be outdone she shoved Luke away from the microphone
"So I spilled some beer on Dare Devil’s bed
I made Fisk eat a bug
Stuck some gum on my lawyers’ rug
Luke don’ snitched on me!"
“We’d both have gotten in trouble for that,” He muttered to Claire. She nodded, knowing how Matt was about his rug; the only nice thing in his apartment.
"Next year we’ll set villains straight
Next year they’ll be good, just wait
We’d start now, but it’s too late
Somebody snitched on them!"