TRANSMISSION #1
TRANSCRIPT RECORDED
LOCATION: Unknown, S.I.
DATE: 2012/06/05, 10:37:57 AM
MORA-BRUCE, SIUBHAN: Mr. Stark, it’s good to see you again. Caroline brought you coffee, it’s on the table. That girl says you’ve been functioning off of coffee and no sleep again. Please tell me she was lying.
STARK, ANTHONY, E.: Siubhan, you and I both know that Reed never lies, not even for your benefit.
MORA-BRUCE, SIUBHAN: And what happens to me if you go out and do something stupid because you’re tired? Do you know how much [CENSORED] work it is to keep you from killing Stark Industries’ reputation?
STARK, ANTHONY, E.: It’s your job, Siubhan. What fun would it be without the challenge?
MORA-BRUCE, SIUBHAN: It would be a lot of vacation time with a lot of money, Mr. Stark. But, that’s not what this meeting is about. [CENSORED] knows who we’d have to hire as a science wrangler to make you keep to a decent sleep/eat schedule.
STARK, ANTHONY, E.: Right, this is about the thing that you probably told me about before that I forgot about…?
MORA-BRUCE, SIUBHAN: This is about me trying to convince you to reconsider your stance on not telling people about S.I.’s involvement in the rebuilding of the Greater New York Area. It would do us a whole lot of good, plus we should probably send out an official statement regarding Mr. Parker’s science project that has caught so much media attention. You wouldn’t have anything to do with that, would you?
STARK, ANTHONY, E.: No, of course not, I definitely didn’t share a link to that Science Fair article that featured him and his friend, I, the humble Tony Stark would never do such a thing like that, especially not before consulting the loveliest PR person on the planet, the amazingly good-looking, bestest, most wondrous Mx. Mora-Bruce about it first, for fear of my head being-
MORA-BRUCE, SIUBHAN: I’m going to have to stop you there, Mr. Stark, as much as I enjoy hearing it. I have your retweet right here, screenshotted on my phone, because I knew you’d delete it before coming to this meeting because you’re a little [CENSORED].
STARK, ANTHONY, E.: Siubhan, wonderful Siubhan, you know me too well.
MORA-BRUCE, SIUBHAN: It’s my job to, Mr. Stark.
STARK, ANTHONY, E.: And [CENSORED], I wish you stopped refusing to call me Tony.
MORA-BRUCE, SIUBHAN: Mr. Stark, as you’ve so blatantly disregarded, we’re in a professional environment, I shall use your title as I see fit. And I know you’re trying to avoid my question, reconsider. It’s in the best interest of the company.
STARK, ANTHONY, E.: Professional environment, my [CENSORED]. But yes, the company. Always the company, why do you think I gave the company to my girlfriend? Other than I was dying, that is.
MORA-BRUCE, SIUBHAN: Mr. Stark, if I knew why you did even half the things you do, I’d have figured out a way to prevent you from doing them, already. It would save me a lot of [CENSORED] work.
STARK, ANTHONY, E.: Siubhan, I don’t want to get any media attention to this because I don’t want people to think I did this for the publicity. I already donate to so many charities publicly, and that helps lots of them get more attention and donors. This doesn't need that. After all, everyone is better than Tony [CENSORED] Stark and therefore can donate to charities, too. If everyone was donating for the rebuild, there would be people complaining that I'm taking job opportunities, and people worrying that I'm not doing the best I can. This is just better.
MORA-BRUCE, SIUBHAN: Sir, you’ve got to know that none of your employees, myself included, think you’re as stuck up as you think they think you are. I’d be surprised if the rest of the world thought you were arrogant for very much longer, really. You tweeted about an ten-year-old’s science project, for [CENSORED]’s sake. And let me tell you, that boy thinks you’re the saint of all saints.
STARK, ANTHONY, E.: Peter would think that anyone who avoided stepping on bugs was a hero.
MORA-BRUCE, SIUBHAN: Sir-
STARK, ANTHONY, E.: I didn’t mean that, Peter Parker is a great kid. I’m not sure why he’s got his fixings on me, though. I turn flowers to [CENSORED] in my very presence.
MORA-BRUCE, SIUBHAN: Mr. Stark, nobody thinks that but you.
STARK, ANTHONY, E.: Yeah, whatever, let me be angsty in peace.
MORA-BRUCE, SIUBHAN: We still haven’t answered the question of “Will you let me give a statement about our clean-up efforts?”
STARK, ANTHONY, E.: Nah, nobody’s really paying that much attention to it anyway.
MORA-BRUCE, SIUBHAN: If that’s what you really want, Mr. Stark.
STARK, ANTHONY, E.: Yes, that’s all I want, Mx. Mora-Bruce.
MORA-BRUCE, SIUBHAN: Oh, and Morgan sent me up with a rather frantic post-it note, “Get Tony [CENSORED] Stark to check his [CENSORED] emails from me, I have written him lots. They’re all important.” It also says, “And if you make JARVIS reply to me one more time, I will come up to the top of your tower myself and personally swing at you.” Have a good day dealing with that one, Mr. Stark.
STARK, ANTHONY, E.: Oh God, what have I done?
MORA-BRUCE, SIUBHAN: You’ve created a monster.
STARK, ANTHONY, E.: I really did. I apologize for whatever Beyers is going to do, but there’s nothing I can possibly do to stop the [CENSORED] apocalypse.
MORA-BRUCE, SIUBHAN: You’ve killed us all, sir. [CENSORED] all to do now.
END TRANSMISSION
LOCATION: Unknown, S.I.
DATE:2012/06/05 10:42:39