[email protected]
Stark Tower
200 Park Avenue
New York, New York, 10166
United States of America
May 30th, 2012
Hey buddychildPeterMr. Parker kiddo,
I don’t really write letters, J.A.R.V.I.S. is writing as I dictate, actually. I think they’re slow, and we’ve evolved past using them, but I get that you had to write one for an assignment. I’m really surprised touched that you wrote a letter to me, because between you and me, nobody actually thinks I’m their hero.
I’m coming to your science fair – incognito, because this isn’t about me, it’s about young minds that love science! J.A.R.V.I.S. please do that thing to make that grammatically correct – and I’ll see if I can meet you afterward somewhere for lunch or something, my treat. Your aunt and uncle can come, too. It’s not like I’m short on cash or anything.
Morgan Beyers tells me that you’ve continued correspondence, which is cool. I apologize for not writing back sooner, but a fortune five-hundred company won’t run itself- wait, that sounds pretentious, Pepper says I need to focus more on helping my company. If you keep this between us, I’m pretty excited to see your project. I think you’ve got potential, kid. Plus you’re like the first kid who actually wants to talk science with me, so I think this will go well. I think I shouldn’t add my self-deprecating tendencies to letters.
Off topic question, do you have an email? I think there’s a more efficient way of communicating, if we were going to continue our correspondence. J.A.R.V.I.S. informs me that some kids your age still don’t have emails. Is it the school system? I can make you an email. How do you feel about [email protected]? It’ll even be business official, so no one will doubt it if you put it on your resume. Do ten-year-olds need a resume? People will just assume you interned for me or something. Yeah, J.A.R.V.I.S., start setting up that email account. If he has one already, find it and assimilate them. Same password or whatever. Yeah, I’ve set up your new email to replace your old one. How boring is [email protected]? Honestly, what does the ‘pen’ even stand for? Oh-ooh yeah J, cut that from the message, I shouldn’t bring up stuff like that or something. It’s not nearly as clever as my Peter Piper joke.
Anyway, Pepper says I cross boundaries too easily, or something. I’ll leave the actual contacting for you, so here’s my personal email. I’ll try my best to respond, also. It’s [email protected], which is the coolest email out there, by the way. I bet you’ll win, and I’m having this sent with priority so it gets to your house before you leave to school. Yeah, I’m writing this at like two-a-m, probably shouldn’t be. Have a good day or something. See you for lunch! Or something. J.A.R., please make this legible and take out all the stupid things I’ve said and make it better. I think I could get to like this kid.
Good tidings, merry Chaunukka, wait that’s in not-May,
Tony Stark, Chairman
Stark Industries
Peter,
Congrats on your win, tell Ned I thought your presentation was really cool and pretty accurate!
If it were any other ten-year-old, I would have thought their parents did all the work, but you’re a smart kid.I’m so sorry but an important board meeting came up and apparently those are mandatory, not that they’ve ever really been mandatory before, but Pepper is adamant that I turn a new leaf or something. My driver, Happy, he’s a little grumpy, though, will take you wherever you want to go for lunch, and he’ll let the waitstaff know what’s up so you won’t have to pay a dime!I’m really sorry I can’t be there, I was actually looking forward to this all week.Have a great celebratory lunch, you’ve earned it. I look forward to emailing you!
Your friend,TonyStark