Chapter 2
He didn't want to look at himself.
After the silence became too much to bear and the ugly truth settled in, The captain immediately tried to wrangle everyone in for a pep talk. He tried to make a plan in a voice thick with emotion to people who bordered on breakdowns.
Loki didn't look at his hands. He didn't look at his chest. He kept his eyes straight and avoided the urge to brush away the dust on his face. As the captain tried to put together a plan, he walked away silently.
“L-” Bruce swallowed the name as the god continued passed. He followed with his eyes but didn't dare take a step in his direction. Had he seen what happened? Loki couldn't be sure. He didn't know if Bruce caught any of it. And now? He couldn't be bothered to try and offer up an explanation.
Loki stopped a distance away. Far enough to where he couldn't hear the chatter from the others. Where he couldn't look at them and know they saw what he saw. He looked back in the direction he came to make sure no one followed. It wouldn't be a surprise to him if Rogers was right behind him, given the last time they spoke was New York. Back when he worked with his brother to try and stop him.
His brother.
For the first time, Loki found his gaze down on his hands. There was ash coating his palms.
Thor.
His sight started to waver and his fingers curled. He felt something inside him build. Something grotesquely painful.
He gripped his head and a scream ripped from his body.
-
The scream nearly shook all of Wakanda. Steve's head snapped in the direction of the sound and took a step in the direction of the noise before Bruce put a hand on his shoulder. And while that stopped Steve, he wouldn't have the time to explain to others why it was a bad idea to confront the god.
Okoye was the first one to move for the source of the screams. She didn't know what she was expecting to find. She hadn't known anything about this being who came out of nowhere to fight on their side. She'd seen a few of his moves on the battlefield and knew he was a capable warrior. He was deadly, that much was clear. But she couldn't for the life of her figure out why he was there.
She found him on his knees on the ground, long fingers curled into the black hair as his head hung low enough to nearly touch his forehead to the dirt. She could hear his short ragged breaths as he tried to regain control.
And when she took a step closer, his head snapped up and he glared at her with bloodshot eyes so full of tears.
She couldn't pull her eyes away from his. She slowly knelt down and moved as if anything sudden would set him off. “Hey...” her voice was a soft coo, as if she were trying to comfort a child.
The glare softened and confusion took a place in those eyes.
“We cannot waste our time here. We have a task ahead of us. Your help will surely be needed.”
“You know nothing about me.” He snapped at her. His voice was rough from the scream.
She didn't seem fazed. “I don't need to know much. Just that you lost like I.” She held out a hand to him. “Come.”
He looked at her hand. It was clean; not a sign of blood or ash on her skin. She was lucky. He wanted to go off on her and just leave. Maybe he could find Thanos and slit the bastard's throat himself.
But how? He was alone now. He had no home and no resources to make that happen. Not to mention absolutely no idea how to find Thanos now that he succeeded in his plan.
And there was something about this woman... She reminded him of someone he thought he'd be happy to forget.
Reluctantly, Loki's hand found Okoye's and he allowed her to pull him to his feet.
When the two returned to the group, no one acknowledged the way she led him in. Loki didn't make eye contact with anyone as his vision zeroed in on something else.
Thor's new axe was still on the ground where Thanos vanished. Natasha and Steve watched tensely as Loki stepped over to the weapon and lifted it with no trouble whatsoever. But when the trickster didn't turn to try and use it on them, Steve looked at everyone else. “We should regroup back to the palace.”
Regroup. Loki wanted to mock the captain for his choice of words but he couldn't find the drive. Instead, he just followed the group with the axe tight in his grip.
-
“I'll be the first to admit all of this is far cry from a victory.” Steve looked out to his group of misfits. “None of us could've expected any of this. But... here we are.”
The room stayed silent as Steve continued to try and find the words. Natasha and Bruce shared momentary glances as they tried to make sense of everything. When they stepped into the room, Okoye immediately found her way to Shuri and told her about the loss of her brother. She didn't look as if she had any intention of leaving her side anytime soon.
Rhodey stayed up by the captain and surveyed the room. He couldn't seem to think of anything productive or useful to say. The raccoon stayed off to the side, his ears pressed back against his head as he stared at the floor in front of him.
And even with the sentient rodent, Loki still felt like the only one out of place. He leaned against a far wall within the sight of everyone. The axe's wooden handle pressed into his leg. It offered a comforting weight. It was a reminder that some part of his brother lived on.
He pushed at the ashes stuck to his palm with his fingertip. Someone's gaze burned into his temple and he did his absolute best to ignore it.
“We have to figure out where to go from here. Thanos is still out there and who knows what kind of destruction he's trying next.”
Loki scoffed. It was a little louder than he intended but now that it was out, he couldn't take it back. Everyone in the room turned and looked at him. He kept his eyes on Steve. “This was never about destruction, Captain. This was about control and balance.”
Steve frowned. “Care to elaborate?”
Loki raised an eyebrow. “Do you really expect me to spell it out for you? His wish was to wipe out half of civilization and he succeeded. He has no further intention. He's achieved his end goal.”
“How do you know this?” Okoye tensed her shoulders and looked at him.
Loki just looked back.
“He... used to work for Thanos.” Bruce kindly answered the question for him.
“'Used to?'” Natasha looked at Loki with a guarded expression. “Did you decide to switch sides now?”
“I don't care about 'sides.' I'm on whatever side suits me best.”
“So, you're on our side.”
Loki looked over at Shuri. The young woman's eyes locked onto his. At some point, she had suffered a nasty fall but was able to fix her dislocated elbow and broken leg in a matter of minutes. However, that did nothing to stop the pain of loss from entering her thoughts.
When they looked at each other, it was almost as if it were a reflection.
He didn't answer her. Without looking away from him, she pressed a few keys on a computer that looked impressive even by Asgard standards. What she brought up was a feed from Germany where a god with long curled horns gave a speech to a crowd of terrified civilians. “Unless you still believe this.”
Loki could barely recognize it as himself.
He looked away from the screen. “If it would please you to pretend like a child, then yes. I'm on your side.” He expected her to flinch.
She didn't. “Then you must also know a way to find Thanos.”
His stomach tightened as he was forced to look in the girl's determined gaze. She wanted her brother back, that much was clear. And, if she couldn't have him back, she would find a way to make his end worthy. It was something Loki could get behind.
But... “No. I wasn't around him long enough to know where he would go.” He crossed his arms and stared off for a moment. “Even if I did know where and how to find him, what good would it do? Do any of you seriously think we stand a chance against him without...” His tongue froze in his mouth as if to simply say the name would curse him.
But that didn't translate to everyone in the room.
“Thor fought for you, ya know.”
Loki looked at the raccoon. Those little eyes stared at him, its muzzle pulled back in a subtle snarl.
“That idiot cared about you enough to try and avenge you. And you're gonna stand here and tell me it ain't worth the fight?”
“Don't pretend you know about us simply because you had a heart to heart with my brother. You know nothing of our past!”
“Loki, stop.”
His eyes snapped to Bruce.
The scientist shook his head. “You're not fooling anyone, here.”
Steve nodded and followed up with a hard look at Loki. “Even if you were, this is bigger than you and Thor. We have a whole lot of people who disappeared off the face of the Earth today. Probably more than that. So if you're with us, then you're helping. Deal?”
The trickster clenched his jaw and tried to swallow the lump building in his throat. He didn't answer. Instead, he just looked away.
Steve lingered a little longer then turned to Shuri. “There has to be some way to find out where he went.”
Shuri nodded. “If he made some kind of wormhole, there might be some kind of energy left behind from the split in the world. Maybe we can reopen it.”
“So, that should send us directly to him.” Bruce bit on the skin of his thumbnail as he walked over to the computer where Shuri worked.
“Saying he stayed there. For all we know, he could be visiting all different locations. And to tear it back open safely would take time; he could be long gone by then.”
“Would there be any way to speed up the process?”
Shuri thought about it. “Only if someone else has knowledge of the stone he used to create the gate.”
All eyes fell on Loki. First from the avengers he knew, then from the warrior women and the raccoon.
He felt it the moment they were all zeroed in.
“Is it safe to assume I'm needed?” Of course. What would these creatures do without his help. He bent down and gripped Stormbreaker. “Very well. Let's begin.”
-
He remembered being on the refugee ship. They weren't there for long before Thanos found them but the days they were making their way to Earth were peaceful.
Many of the Asgardians did their best to keep up their spirit. But there was a tension that hung in the air. It was impossible to remove.
But Loki's done the impossible before.
He hadn't done much to show his abilities as something of a source of entertainment. It was usually used as a weapon or a way to gain some kind of upper hand. He always thought most people looked at it as some form of weakness. A cowardly way to go about a battle.
But there on the ship, as everyone watched in wonder at the different pictures and explosions from Loki's magic, none of it seemed to matter. For the moment, they could all forget they were homeless. For a moment, everything was less tense.
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Thor watching on with a soft approving smile. Valkyrie said something as she handed him a drink and he shrugged and gestured in Loki's direction.
He was rewarded for his talk by way of a snake flying out of his cup to slap him in the face. Valkyrie nearly spit out her own drink as she laughed.
Thor glared at him.
Loki smiled sweetly in response. It was always important to remind Thor what he was first and foremost.
It felt like the refugee ship was years ago but thinking back on it, Loki couldn't count the days passed a week. It was even possible he was being generous with that much time passing.
But he couldn't think back on it now. Natasha glanced at him warily as they headed back into the forest. Her eyes continued to dart over to Thor's weapon which Loki refused to leave behind.
She was probably afraid he would try to attack her with it. She was a smart creature to not trust him. Maybe if some of that wary intellect rubbed off on Thor...
“The split shouldn't be far now.” The device in Natasha's ear spoke as Shuri watched through the cameras up in her little lab. “I should just need a sample from something in the area. The ground underneath it should be enough.”
“Right. But what if we can't see it.”
“We'll cross that bridge when he gets to it.”
Loki's eyes landed on a small clearing. He felt a familiar tightness in his gut. “I don't think that will be an issue.” Carefully, he stepped over to the clearing. They could see the spot where the axe had dropped out of the titan's chest before he retreated into the space stone's power.
The spot where everything went to Hel. Where, if Thor wasn't so hellbent on his rage... Where, if Loki was just a little bit faster....
He should've just stayed on Sakaar. Then the Tessaract truly would've been on Asgard. Maybe Surtur and Hela could have destroyed it in their battle. Instead, here he was; with Thor's weapon in his hand but no body to even conduct a proper funeral for his brother.
He blinked and pulled back as Natasha snapped her fingers in front of his eyes. Back to reality, he gave her a weak glare.
“Welcome back, space cadet.” She looked away from him and around the clearing. “Do you see the rip your precious stone made?”
Loki sneered and stared at the spot again. Directly above the dent in the ground was a sliver of warped reality about the length of his arm he knew only his eyes could see. It was like a scar in the world that simply hung in the air. He walked up and slowly stepped around it. “This is it.”
“I don't see anything.”
“I do. Trust me.”
“There's a request that won't ever happen.”
“I always knew you were smarter than the rest.”
Both of them stood silently, guards up and eyes locked. After a moment, they returned to the task at hand. Natasha looked at the space between her and Loki as she tried to see what he saw. Ultimately, she sighed and reached for the small vial. “We should get the sample back.”
Loki gripped the axe's handle tightly as he studied the scar. “Given a little time, I'm sure I could split this open myse-” He was suddenly interrupted by a gloved fist slamming into his cheekbone with enough power to rival his brother.