Wolf Like Me

Leah POV (Age 23)

Eventually, she faced issues with her pregnancy.

Everything ached, she wanted to throw up so often that Leah was often closer to the toilet than her mate, and her nipples hurt. Truly fucking hurt. Nipple balm did nothing and her breasts ached like someone had punched her directly in the tit.

Spectacular.

Often now, when Fatin went to grab one, Leah grumbled out a complaint and slapped her hand away. She never thought the day would come when she didn’t want Fatin’s hands everywhere.

So, after explaining such to Fatin her mate did her best to help her out.

“Come sit on the bed I got some pheromone oils.”

And as Fatin’s fingers worked into the knots in her should Leah realised that she loved this. The proximity to Fatin, the comfort of the massage, and the way she occasionally mouthed at Leah’s shoulders or neck when her own body released scents in response to the pheromones.

However, when it was over, Leah felt an emptiness in her soul. She missed warm hands working her muscles and her mate’s breath on her neck.

The feeling wasn’t just sadness, it was an all-consuming low that brought tears to her eyes. One that left her sitting on the floor clutching her knees to her chest as she wished it away, hating when Fatin went to work.

It resulted in a week of Leah pretending to be in physical pain. Some days she was, but many days she just wanted her mate’s hands back and what Fatin didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. She craved the contact and the sadness only left as Fatin worked her thumbs into her shoulders as she told Leah about her day.

“Why do you smell like pheromones?” Shelby asked as they headed into their apartment.

“Leah’s been in a lot of pain constantly, so I’ve been massaging her each night.”

Now that, Shelby rose a brow at. Mainly because she and Leah had been shopping the day prior for baby stuff and Leah had said the pain was only bad on rare occasions. Most time she dealt with it without issue.

“Oh, do you want some ice or something?” Toni asked.

Shelby continued to watch her.

“Nope, I’m good.”

It was after Fatin and Toni left to go look at the new motorbike that Shelby cornered her.

“In constant pain are you now?” Shelby asked.

“Okay first of all this baby really is causing me pain.”

“Constantly?” Shelby cleared her throat when she got no response.

Sighing, Leah rubbed her temple. “Fatin gave me one massage and I don’t know why but my wolf craves it.”

“So why not tell her that?”

“Because I’m needy as shit as is!” Leah ran a hand through her hair. “I just want her close nonstop and I can’t explain how bad it is. I’m used to wanting her always, but this is different. Any time she leaves I feel like there’s a hole in me, like the world is closing in and I can’t breathe and it hurts so fucking much Shelby I-”

“Honey, calm down. Take a breath for me and sit down.” Shelby rested a hand on her bicep as she did. “Have you talked to your doctor?”

“No. I don’t think he would care that I’m being dramatic.”

“You may have bond sickness.”

“No, I’ve had that before it didn’t feel like this.”

Shelby walked away, retrieving one of her books. She worked as a nurse for the local surgery, so Leah’s words had struck a realisation.

“Some wolves can develop another type of bond sickness when carrying. It’s rare, but it’s most often seen in wolves who are carrying their first after a long time of having been mated.”

“I don’t feel sick. I just feel-”

“Depressed? Anxious? Isolated?”

She swallowed thickly. “Yes.”

“That’s how it presents. It’s something to do with the wolf not knowing how to accept that their mate has their attention on someone other than them. Your bond has been there so long it doesn’t know how to interpret the change of the new family bond that will be there with the child. You feel like you’re second, and that Fatin’s care for them comes first.”

“It should, they’re our child.”

“But that doesn’t mean your bond understands that. It’s been decades almost of you being used to the one constant bond, and not sharing your love with anyone else. Your bond doesn’t understand yet that a family doesn’t mean Fatin will lose interest in you.”

Tears stained her cheeks as she thought about it. “I just don’t want her leaving.”

“Oh sweetie, okay let’s get you some tissues.”

“Leah?” Fatin frowned as they came back in. “What’s wrong? Are you in pain?”

She shook her head.

“Fatin, I think maybe you should get Leah booked in with the doctor just to check on her bond.”

She spent an hour in an overly sterile office as a doctor ran her bloods the next day and talked to Leah about her emotions.

He spent an awful lot of time scrawling something across a pad she couldn’t see, and Leah itched for Fatin who was sitting outside. The doctor wished to see them apart, something about seeing how Leah was hit by the separation and she hated it.

“Bond sickness, Paternal Bond Depression to be more accurate,” he said, finally placing the pad down. “We don’t see it often but it’s unsurprising seeing as though you two have been mated for so long.”

“Will it go away?”

He sighed. “No, these things run the full term of the pregnancy most often, but we can try some things and find what works for you. We normally find it goes away after the birth of your baby. Once your wolf recognises their scent as your own it will no longer see them as a threat for a loss of attention. Instead, the nurturing should kick in and you will want Fatin to give attention to them.”

“What things?”

“Well, there are a few options. Regular intercourse can help, injections with hormones will level out your own slightly, and some other things work. Certain proximity rituals, you said massages take your mind off it?”

“Yes, temporarily.”

“How about we get Fatin in here and I can talk it through with you both?”

Nodding, Leah sighed when Fatin entered and laced a hand through her own.

“Are they okay?” Fatin cut straight to the point, her posture was stiff, and she was clearly on edge.

The doctor reached for his pad. “The baby is fine; Leah however has a rare bond sickness we call Paternal Bond Depression.”

“Paternal Bond Depression?” Fatin asked, not sure what he meant.

“It causes her wolf to feel like she isn’t your primary focus. Likely due to how long you’ve been mated Leah’s wolf is struggling with the change in your bond.”

“Will it harm her?”

“It can and that’s why we take it so seriously. This form of bond sickness can cause abdominal pain and cramping, something we really want to avoid during her time carrying. It will also cause mood swings that could put Leah at risk. Think of it like a mood disorder. She will feel things to the extreme and it will likely be very tiring for her.”

“What can we do?” Fatin’s hand tightened in her own.

“I would suggest talking to your work, most places have additional leave for employees who are affected by this. Many allow an extra day off during the week and earlier leave to allow you more time to nest. It would also be advised to work more sexual activity into your day. Mating will allow Leah’s wolf to feel cared for. Many find that re-marking also helps, especially with sudden mood changes. Whilst we normally advise not to re-mark each other too much during pregnancy as it can cause hormonal issues, with this condition regular re-marking can aid her.”

“Is that all we can do?”

“No. I will set you up with at-home hormone injections, and a therapist here for Leah to see every other week who can help her with coping strategies.”

“Leah hates needles,” Fatin said.

“We don’t have patches for this. It has to be administered into scent glands either on the wrist or neck.”

Leah felt her heart pounding at the thought. Though she didn’t have too many phobias- needles were one. She could barely deal with giving blood samples, but injections scared her far more.

“There’s no alternative?”

“No,” he said. “We will teach you how to administer them safely for her.”

“I need to do them? Is that safe?” Fatin asked.

“The injections we only use for the biggest emotional drops. They need to be administered quickly so it’s best we teach the partner how to administer them on the go. I would advise giving Leah her first as soon as you’re home.”

“Okay.”

“Leah said massages help too. We find every wolf is unique with what helps so it’s best to openly communicate about what things are needed or wanted,” he said, looking at Leah who swallowed against her dry throat. “For some reason, bond depression often isn’t felt through the bond by the partner due to the sickness. It’s important you communicate your mental and emotional state.”

No more lies went unsaid. It wasn’t a lie anyway; Leah did feel like shit. It just also wasn’t the whole truth.

Fatin had an hour of being instructed on how to perform the injections, but when Leah was too anxious, they had her practice on a mannequin; sending Fatin home in hopes Leah would be more relaxed to try there.

“You felt that low?” Fatin asked as they entered the apartment.

“It hasn’t been too bad.”

“Leah, you had me massaging you every day. If you need the proximity, you just need to tell me.”

“I didn’t want to ask more of you,” Leah chewed her lip as she felt the tears threatening to spill. The hollowness was back, and Leah hated it as her hands trembled.

Her mate noticed, having been briefed on the signs and mannerisms by her nurses. She was told how the emotions might feel on her side of the bond, how unlike depression Fatin would often feel them as a tightness in her chest or stomach. It presented differently, which is why she had never picked up on it prior. Leah’s eyes would also fleck with gold, and she would visibly become distressed.

Walking across the room, Fatin lifted her onto the side cabinet joining their lips.

“Fatin-”

“I’ve got you,” Fatin kissed her neck as she pushed Leah’s summer dress up, working her underwear to the side as she circled her clit.

Leah’s hips canted into her as a whimper of surprise left her, followed by a low moan as Fatin applied more pressure.

This was one of Fatin’s favourite sights and Leah knew it; she had mentioned it plenty of times before. Leah flushed across her chest; her head drooped back as her lips parted. Fatin always told her that she loved every beautiful sound she made, every crease of her brow and the rise of her breasts as she breathed deeply.

Leah loved it when Fatin watched because she knew every thought that passed through her mind as Leah breathed her name out. Fatin had never been particularly great at hiding her own need and lust.

Few were lucky enough to have every first experience with their mate, yet they cherished them all and every first still yet to come.

As Leah bucked her hips again, Fatin moved and slipped two fingers into the wet heat between her thighs. Leah tensed around her, again taken by surprise as Fatin began to stroke her fingers along the spongey patch within her.  

“Fuck baby,” Leah sighed against her lips.

Leah felt so in tune with Fatin that she felt dizzy, only breathing when Fatin reminded her to. Her head continued to loll, and each time Fatin would whisper a simple command of, “Breathe for me,” to her.

“More.”

Working a third finger into her mate, Fatin began to kiss Leah’s neck. As Leah cried out in desire Fatin’s fangs dropped, the tips scraping against her. If there was one feeling that hit Leah straight in her core it was her fangs pressed against her neck; that moment before they sank in.

Leah knew that the more vocal she was the more turned-on Fatin became. She often used it to her advantage but was also fairly restrained with what she said. She felt the blush on her cheeks rising as she considered what the hell she could say to get Fatin to sink her fangs into her.

It wasn’t as if she was a natural at dirty talk, aside from swearing she tried to keep it minimal to avoid embarrassment.

So maybe Leah had watched a little porn in hopes of learning a thing or two. Even if some of that left her scarred for life.

“God you feel so good taking me.” Fangs scraped along her neck, and she whined. “More, I need more.”

“Leah-”

“I want to feel you tomorrow when I wake up. I want to be sore and know that your hands caused it with every step I take.”

Fatin groaned, working in a fourth finger as Leah’s head dropped back. Her breaths came hard, and she could feel Fatin’s fangs growing damp with need as they slid down her neck.

“Just like that, shit Fatin.”

Another groan left her and Fatin pushed into her with so much strength Leah wanted to cry out in contentment.

“Don’t stop. I want you taking me even as I come for you.”

“Leah, Jesus, fuck babe.” Fatin moaned; fangs now slick.

The wetness between her own legs only worsened as she felt Fatin grow closer. “Baby, I need you to bite me. I want to smell like nothing but you in the morning, so everyone knows you’re mine.”

Fangs punctured her skin as Fatin shut her eyes, hips rolling against the back of her wrist as she took Leah over the edge too.

Leah’s chest heaved as she came, legs locked around her mate like she was scared to let go of her.

“Babe,” Fatin moaned as she pulled away from the new holes left over her scent glands. A tongue ran along it, sealing the wound.

She was so calm she didn’t note Fatin walking away until she returned with a bag minutes later.

“Let’s try this while you’re relaxed.”

“Fatin,” Leah pulled back, shaking her head as she stared at the needle.

“I have an idea.”

“What?”

Fatin prepared Leah’s wrist, cleaning it down as she pulled out the syringe.

“Look at me, don’t look at it.”

“Fatin.”

Fatin leaned in, sinking her fangs into Leah’s wrist. Though she pulled away the feeling of her climax rolling in again distracted Leah enough that she didn’t notice the hormones being injected below the bite mark.

“You-”

“Was that okay?”

Leah nodded as Fatin disposed of the needle in the sharp’s container.

“Then from now on we just go with that.”

“You plan on making me come anytime you need to inject me?”

“Duh,” Fatin grinned. “Now come on, I owe you a massage.”

“You don’t need to do it every day. I shouldn’t have lied and said my back hurt.”

“Bond sickness is far worse than back pain. You can have all the massages you want.”

“But I’m not in pain right now.”

“How is your mood?”

Leah paused. She felt good, but low still. Her emotions were all over the place today, but the doctor had said she should start feeling an improvement after a few days of following orders.

“Be honest with me, okay? I need you to keep me updated with how your mood is. If you need me home from work, call. If you wake up in the night and feel low, then wake me up. I need you to talk to me. I’m still new to reading this on our bond. It will take me a while to get better at reading where you’re at.”

Playing with the hem of Fatin’s crop top, Leah nodded. “I still feel low.”

“Then I’ll give you a massage, and how about we have a bath after?”

“I would like that.”

Fatin kissed her nose, helping Leah off the cabinet.

“Come on angel.”