not what you need (but what you deserve)

When he finally gets back to the hotel, he opens the door to his suite to find Erik waiting for him on the sofa, arms crossed.

"Nice speech," Erik says casually as he stands up off the sofa in one fluid motion, stalking close to T'Challa. "Just watched it on TV."

"Um, thank you. Erik - " T'Challa begins.

"Shut up," Erik growls. He leans close towards T'Challa, eyes golden and dangerous. 

T'Challa finds himself automatically backing up against the door, heart pounding faster at Erik's proximity. 

"Why are you angry with me now?" T'Challa asks indignantly. "What did I do? I told you not to leave! I wanted you to stay for the speech!" 

"No, you wanted me to go! To leave you alone in a room full of alphas!" Erik shouts in T'Challa's face. 

"Because you were losing your temper for no good reason! I just wanted you to cool down for a bit," T'Challa says defensively. "I didn't mean that you should just leave!"

"No good reason, huh?" Erik says silkily. "So all those alphas around meant nothing?"

"Of course not!"

Erik leans in close to sniff at the base of T'Challa's neck.

"I hate the way you smell now," Erik hisses. "You stink of other alphas. Ain't right."

T'Challa shoves Erik away lightly from himself with one hand pressed against Erik's chest. "Erik, you are being ridiculous right now..."

A sudden realisation strikes T'Challa.

No.

It can't be.

But... 

Erik's hostility towards the other alphas they've met today can be explained away as simple sexual competitiveness. But there is absolutely no reason for him to be mad about how T'Challa smells, unless... 

"You really are jealous," T'Challa says wonderingly. "Okoye was right."

Erik yanks T'Challa back towards himself with one hand fisted in the front of T'Challa's ceremonial robes.

"Don't ever push me away again," Erik says as he kisses T'Challa hard. 

T'Challa gasps, arms automatically coming up to wrap around Erik's waist as Erik pushes him back against the wall. Erik's grip on him is possessive, almost painfully tight. He bites and sucks none too gently on T'Challa's bottom lip. T'Challa feels his knees weaken under the intensity of Erik's passion. 

Erik tries to tear at the front of T'Challa's robe, but T'Challa catches both of Erik's wrists in his hands, encircling them tight. 

"Erik, wait," T'Challa says worriedly. "Are you sure you want to do this? It's not just hormones?"

"You idiot, why the fuck would my hormones make me fuck another alpha? I just met a room full of alphas and I hated them all!" 

T'Challa has to admit that there is some truth in that. 

"It's you," Erik says, his voice low and intense. "Only you, T'Challa. I just want you."

A shiver runs up T'Challa's spine at Erik's heated words. 

"You really don't have to do this," T'Challa says quietly. He has to be sure. 

"I know that," Erik says, his voice hard. "If I thought I had to, I wouldn't do it at all. And don't give me that look. You know what I mean."

Upon hearing that, hope flutters in T'Challa's heart for the first time. Could Erik truly...?

"I must say, this is really a surprise," T'Challa says cautiously. "You told me that it was perverse. I thought the very idea disgusted you."

"Nah. I mean, it was a shock when you told me at first. At that time, I was still angry at you and I wanted to make you feel bad. But I wasn't really disgusted. Just surprised. It's kinda flattering, after I thought about it. Very kinky. And...you're not so bad," Erik admits reluctantly. "I know that this - all of this - has been hard for you. I don't give a shit about what anyone thinks, but you?" Erik smirks at him. "I can tell that it eats you up. You must really want me bad, to go through all this."

It's all true. All of it. 

As T'Challa is still marvelling at this unexpected turn of events, Erik gently breaks free of T'Challa's grip on his wrists. He cups T'Challa's face between his hands and kisses T'Challa again. This time, the kiss is slow and sweet, Erik taking his time to savour the taste of T'Challa's lips against his own. 

"Stop worrying so much, cuz," Erik says quietly, when he finally pulls away. "Let's just try it once. If we both hate it, I'll never bring this up again."

"Alright," T'Challa breathes.

He steers Erik back towards the bed, stripping out of his robe at the same time. 

By unspoken agreement, T'Challa lets Erik take the lead. Erik pushes T'Challa back down against the mattress, grinding down against him. T'Challa fights down his instinctive urge to flip Erik over and climb on top of him. 

"Go gold for me," Erik demands, smirking. "Show me what you got, alpha."

Hesitantly, T'Challa lets go of part of his control. A familiar bright haze temporarily clouds over his vision as his eyes turn gold and his canines sharpen slightly. 

T'Challa arches up against Erik, thrusting his hips up and wrapping his arms around Erik tightly. He feels Erik's cock jerk against his thigh, hardening with interest. 

"Now that's more like it. I fucking love this look on you," Erik says appreciatively as he tilts T'Challa's head up, stroking his thumb along T'Challa's jaw. "What's the point of fucking another alpha if you're just gonna hold it in the entire time? You gotta let go more often, T. I dunno why you're always holding yourself back."

"The last time I lost control, I killed you," T'Challa growls. 

Erik grins down at him. "That was hot." 

"You're crazy," T'Challa says, but he can't help but smile back, lips drawing back to bare his sharpened teeth.

Erik turns T'Challa over onto his front and  kisses along his neck, up to his ear. His capped teeth scrape against T'Challa's soft, vulnerable skin. T'Challa tightens his grip on the sheets so hard that he can feel the fabric starting to rip under his enhanced strength. 

It's hot, T'Challa has to agree. The knowledge that if Erik wants to, he can tear T'Challa's throat out. Kill him before his guards even have a chance to react. 

He must be crazy, too, to let Erik do this to him. To put himself completely at the mercy of his not-quite-reformed cousin. 

But nothing else feels so right as this. Erik on top of him, heated skin against skin, cock grinding against T'Challa's ass. Erik's precome smears against T'Challa's cheeks, dripping down into his crack.

"This is gonna hurt," Erik warns T'Challa as he grips T'Challa's cheeks in each hand, spreading them apart. T'Challa moans at the feeling of Erik's warm hands on his ass. "You know we ain't made for this. Not like betas or omegas."

"Don't care," T'Challa pants. He's already painfully hard. "You can hurt me." 

Erik shudders above him. "Don't say shit like that, man," he mutters. 

One finger breaches T'Challa, pushing past his tight ring of muscle, aided by the copious amounts of slick alpha precome. T'Challa grits his teeth at the burn of the penetration. He has never really liked doing this with any of his previous partners - it just doesn't feel right. But T'Challa fights down his instincts and tries to relax enough to accept the intrusion, letting Erik open him up with his fingers. All the while, Erik caresses him and whispers surprisingly sweet nothings into T'Challa's ear. Relax, baby. You're doing great. So good for me. 

Who knew that Erik would be such a gentle lover? 

But the alpha in T'Challa grates at being treated so softly. It's somehow worse, having to submit like this. Having Erik treat him as if he were something soft and fragile. 

"Not like that," T'Challa finds himself saying, harshly, as he turns his head back to nip at Erik's lips. "Give it to me hard."

"You sure?" 

"Yes - come on -" 

T'Challa spreads his legs wide, wanton and needy, and Erik groans at the sight. 

Erik grips his hips tight, and then there's the feeling of something thick and blunt nudging at the rim of his hole.

T'Challa fights down the urge to squirm away and makes himself relax and accept the entry. The feeling of Erik's hard cock forcing itself into him, hot and thick, burns worse than Erik's fingers. He can't help but moan at the pain and the stretch. T'Challa's fingers dig and twist tightly into the sheets, and the fabric finally tears. Jagged little puncture holes appear under his fingernails. 

T'Challa winces and makes a mental note to offer to pay the hotel tomorrow. 

Erik doesn't give T'Challa much time to get adjusted. He starts pounding into T'Challa hard and fast, drawing a short moan out of T'Challa with each thrust. Each thrust splits him even wider open, causing a stabbing, intimate jolt of pain to shoot through T'Challa. But it gradually becomes more pleasant as T'Challa begins to get used to the feeling. And then Erik reaches around to grab T'Challa's cock in his fist, jerking him roughly in rhythm with his thrusts, hard and unforgiving.

T'Challa can hear his own moans becoming more high-pitched and desperate at the incredible feeling of Erik's hand around his cock, Erik's cock in his ass. The pleasure sharpens to an almost unbearable edge, mingling with shame at being reduced to this - being fucked by his own cousin, begging to be bred by another alpha. 

For some inexplicable reason, the shame only intensifies his pleasure. 

Erik's thrusts are becoming harsher now, his rhythm more erratic, and T'Challa can feel the telltale swelling at the base of Erik's cock. Erik moves to pull out, but T'Challa shoves back against Erik as hard as he can manage. 

"No," T'Challa pants, hardly believing that he's asking for this. "Knot me."

"Fuck, T'Challa," Erik breathes, accompanied by a semi-incredulous laugh. And then there's the sudden feeling of Erik's knot expanding sharply within him, splitting him wide apart. Warmth spreads through T'Challa's insides as Erik fills him up with cum.

"Oh - ohhh..." 

It hurts. It fucking hurts, even more than T'Challa had expected - an uncomfortable, sharp stabbing pain that makes his body stiffen and his toes curl. T'Challa bites through his bottom lip at the burning intensity of the stretch. He briefly wonders if anything has torn inside him, then decides that he doesn't want to know. It's probably nothing that the heart-shaped herb won't be able to fix in a couple of minutes, anyway. 

"C'mon, come for me too," Erik rasps in his ear. His hand on T'Challa's cock speeds up, stroking and pulling T'Challa through the pain.

T'Challa closes his eyes and yields to Erik again, letting the mingled waves of pain and pleasure wash over him, taking him deeper into the dark. 

When T'Challa wakes up the next morning, Erik isn't in bed next to him. 

Dismay fills T'Challa for a moment, before he tells himself that he really shouldn't have expected Erik to be one for morning cuddles. Most likely, Erik had already returned to his own room in the middle of the night. 

T'Challa swallows down his disappointment as he swings his legs off the bed - and spots Erik standing on the hotel balcony, leaning against the railing.

Erik turns towards T'Challa at the sound of him getting out of bed, and T'Challa's heart leaps. 

He winces a little as he stands, each step towards the balcony causing a small, shooting stab of pain. Erik watches as T'Challa walks towards him with a slight hitch in his step. Erik's face is perfectly still and expressionless. 

T'Challa joins Erik on the balcony, gazing out at the city below. The first rays of sunlight are just starting to break through the clouds. 

Erik is gripping the railing lightly as he looks into the distance. Daringly, T'Challa inches closer towards him and places his hand over Erik's.

Erik doesn't shake him off. 

"Sorry," Erik mutters, almost too quietly for T'Challa to hear. "Though it's your own damn fault, you know. But I'll be more gentle next time."

So there is to be a next time, then. 

"Erik," T'Challa breathes out, half-laughing. He can't stop a big, goofy smile from spreading across his face. 

"Man, don't say my name like that," Erik says quickly. "You're such a fucking sap, you know that?" 

Erik's words are harsh, but his tone is not. It's almost fond. He even intertwines his fingers with T'Challa's, if only for a brief second, before trying to pull away, as if embarrassed. T'Challa doesn't let him. He traps Erik's hand under his own, threading their fingers together.

"Yes, I am," T'Challa says, unashamed. In this moment, he swears to himself - he'll never be ashamed for this again. For wanting to be with Erik.

They still have a tough road ahead. But it'll be worth it.

THE END