The spidery-ness
Peter sniffed the air. Tony and Peter were working in the labs, a new iron suit prototype on the table.
“What’s that smell?” Peter asked, lifting his nose up to the air like he was a dog.
Tony snorted at that.
“What, you think there’s a gas leak or something?”
Peter shook his head. “No, it not that kind of smell. It’s like, the burning your nostrils kind of smell, you know?”
Tony shrugged. “Or you could have a cold, kid.”
“Colds usually stop people from smelling, Tones,” Cap said as he entered the lab. “Bucky told me to tell you that lunch’s ready.”
“Bucky made lunch?” Tony said.
Steve nodded.
“I’m going to prepare myself and cover all that yuck with mint.”
He took out a pack of gum.
“You want one, kid?”
Peter nodded and took one. Steve took one also, albeit guiltily.
Peter put it in his mouth. And spat it out as soon as it made contact.
“What is that devil food,” Peter hissed, running to the closest tap to rinse his mouth out.
“Gum?” Tony said slowly.
“It is horrible.”
Peter stood, looking to Steve. “You like it?”
Steve nodded. “It’s not strange or anything, it’s just gum.”
“Well, I am never having it again. It was like it was burning my mouth.”
“Spiders don’t like peppermint,” Bruce said, entering the lab, Starkpad in his hand. “Also, Bucky said that if you don’t get your asses up to lunch he will break the lock to the pantry so no-one can hack into it. That seemed to be directed at someone particular.”
“NOOOOOO!” A warbled cry came from the ceiling, and Wade came crashing down. He landed on his butt, and immediately stood up and ran to the door, shoving past Bruce to get to lunch.
Tony rolled his eyes.
Peter glared at Tony.
***
Peter groaned. “There are so many mosquitos,” he complained, entering the tower. Clint had left the windows of the Penthouse open while he, Wade, Peter, Tony were out, allowing all sorts of bugs to be attracted by the bright lights of the inside rooms.
In his defence, Jarvis should have shut them when they left.
Tony left to figure out a solution. The short sleeves and shorts were doing little to protect Peter, and the rest of the Avengers for that matter, from the blood-sucking demons from hell, but it was way too hot to put anything else on.
Wade started slicing the mosquitos with his katanas, actually managing to kill a few, but accidentally shaving some of the hair off Clint’s arm. Peter doubted it was actually by accident.
Tony came back into the room, carrying a bottle of bug spray with him. Tony started manically spraying everywhere.
Peter, being closest to Tony was the first to be met with the spray, and was already doused with the spray before he had time to move away. He immediately started choking, his skin starting to burn, and eyes tearing. Large, angry red patches appeared on his arms and legs, and his stomach started cramping. Peter bent over, wrapping his arms around his middle.
Wade started flapping and squawking, pointing rushedly at Peter.
Peter glared at Tony. “Get. Bruce. Now.”
“Oh, shit.” Tony ran off to fetch him.
***
Peter was sitting on the couch, Bruce next to him, surveying his arms, and Tony and Wade lying on the couch (Tony horizontally and Wade upside down) when Bucky, Steve and Natasha ran in.
“What happened?” Steve asked.
Natasha folded her arms.
“Tony tried to kill me!” Peter said.
“What the fuck, Tony?” Bucky said.
“He was complaining about the bugs!” Tony defended. “I was trying to help!”
“By using spray that can kill spiders?” Natasha asked.
“In my defence,” Tony said, “The bottle has a fly on the front, and Peter’s the one always going on about how spiders aren’t insects! How should I know it would affect him, too?”
Bucky facepalmed. Wade sprayed Tony in the face with the bug spray, a safe distance away from Peter.
“What the hell?” Tony said, rubbing his eyes.
“You deserved that,” Natasha said.
“Plus, it was fun,” Wade added.
“Can I have a go?” Clint said entering the room.
Tony glared at Clint, eyes red from where the spray had gotten into them.
***
“Baby-boy,” Wade said, sitting on the edge of the bed, staring sceptically at his boyfriend.
This was the fourth jumper Peter was putting on.
“It’s cold,” Peter defended, attempting to look serious, though that failed due to his resemblance of a marshmallow.
Peter paused. “D’you think this is too much?”
Wade nodded.
Peter huffed.
***
“Hey, Jarvis?” Peter said in the living room after breakfast. “Can you turn the heating up?”
“Yes, sir.”
Bucky glared at Peter over the top of his book. “Pete. This is the third time you asked in the last 5 minutes. Plus, you have accumulated all of the blankets in the tower. And you have a Wade. That’s practically a furnace.”
Peter craned his neck up at Wade. Then looked back at Bucky. He glared at Bucky.
“Hey, Jarvis,” Peter said, still looking at Bucky to gauge his reaction. “Can you put the heating up again?”
“Yes, sir.”
Bucky put his book down again and slid down the armchair like a ragdoll so he as sitting on the floor, legs spread and pouting. He looked like a child.
Wade snickered.
There was a crackle from above, and the sprinklers went off.
Wade's snickering turned to screams as he was soaked through.
Bucky snorted, grimaced at his now soaked book, and stood up. “Well done, you just exploded the air conditioning. I’m going to bed,” he said, locking the door behind him as he exited the room.
“Jarv,” Peter said, “Can you unlock the door?” He stood up, and walked toward the door.
“Mr Barnes has ordered me not to listen to you, sir. Unfortunately, I cannot fulfil your request.”
The AI didn’t seem very sorry.
Peter looked to Wade, locks of hair sticking to his forehead. “Well, shit.”
Wade pulled off his mask and wrung it out. The sprinklers were still going off so it didn’t really do anything. “Don’t worry, Baby Boy,” he said. “I know how to fix this.”
He stood up. “ANTHONY EDWARD STARK IF YOU DON’T OPEN THE DOOR YOUR SON WILL DIE OF HYPOTHERMIA BECAUSE HIS SPIDERY-ASS CAN’T THERMOREGULATE!” He paused. "BUT IF THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN WE'LL JUST HAVE REALLY LOUD SEX."
The door opened in a matter of seconds.