The protection
They toured more labs, and Peter was starting to relax again when his Stark phone buzzed. Peter looked down quickly to see a message from Tony.
Tony: Have you seen Wilson?
Peter sighed and began to type a reply
Peter: not since you threw him out the window
Tony: Still bitter, huh?
Peter ignored the last text and turned his attention back to Jen. Jarvis' voice spoke over the speakers.
“Wade Wilson has entered the second floor via a window.”
There was a cry from the floor above. “I THOUGHT I LOCKED ALL THE WINDOWS!” Tony could be heard shouting
“YEAH, WELL WADE WOULD HAVE BROKEN THE WINDOW!” Peter shouted back at Tony.
“HE’S PAYING! WINDOWS THAT SPAN AN ENTIRE SIDE OF A TOWER ARE FUCKING EXPENSIVE”
“YOU’RE A BILLIONAIRE!” Peter rebutted.
There was silence from above.
“BESIDES, YOU BROKE ONE OF THE WINDOWS WHEN YOU THREW WADE OUT OF THE WINDOW!” Peter continued.
“BU- I- THAT- YOU- ARRRGG!!”
An elevator behind Peter dinged. He whirled to see Tony striding out.
Peter gulped.
“It doesn’t matter that I broke a window, what matters is Wade is now inside the vents-”
“I’LL SAVE YOU, BABY-BOY!” A voice cried from the ceiling. Deadpool popped his head out through a grate in the ventilation system, and it clattered to the floor.
“Ooh! Hi, Peter’s class and tall scary lady!” Wade addressed the class and Jen. “I’m Deadpool, and I’m Peter’s boyfriend and I kill people for a living so back off.” Peter blinked at Wade’s sudden change in tone. Deadpool shrieked and ducked his head back into the vents as Tony threw a test-tube at him
“Wilson, get out of the vents, or so help me, I will send Clint up into the vents with you. Wade gulped as he obviously remembered last time…
Last week:
“AHHHHHHH!!!!” Wade screamed from somewhere in the vents.
“Get OUT OF THE CEILING!” Tony shouted over the commotion in the vents.
“What’s going on?” Peter asked as he walked into the main living room, where Natasha and Bucky were sitting on the couch, Tony was shouting at the ceiling, and it sounded like an elephant was rampaging in the vents.
“Your boyfriend’s in the vents again,” Natasha answered.
“And so is Clint,” Bucky supplied.
“I was SLEEPING!” Clint’s voice rang from the ceiling.
“And you are so cute when you’re sleeping!” Wade answered.
“That’s it!”
Clint drew his bow, and fired at Wade. Wade screamed. Again.
“Birdy! I thought we were friends!”
“We are,”
“You just fired an arrow at my butt,” Wade whined
“I think it’s an improvement,” Clint replied.
There was creaking from within the vents, and suddenly Clint and Deadpool came tumbling through the ceiling, Clint landing in a cool superhero crouch, Wade landing with his butt in the air, displaying an arrow that was protruding out of it. Attached was a note reading:
‘FUCK YOU DEADPOOL (somehow I knew this would come in handy)!”
Present:
Tony glared as Wade dropped from the vents
“How the hell do you keep getting into my building?”
Wade shrugged, “It’s a gift. Besides,” he added, “I once broke in here with only a hamster and a bunch of pegs!”
“Pegs?” Peter asked questioningly.
“Yeah, you know! Pegs! The things you use to hang up clothes! And build forts! And break into high-security tower-”
Tony looked murderous. “Wilson…”
“Fiiiiiinnnnneeee. Bye Baby-Boy!” Wade said as he skipped out of the room.
Tony slumped and followed Wade, flipping his sunglasses back onto his face, saying something into his com that sounded a lot like, “NO, WILSON DON’T YOU DARE!”. Peter’s grin dimmed when he felt a tap on his shoulder.
***
Natasha, Bucky, Bruce and Clint all sat in the penthouse of the Tower, slumping on the couches, dejected looks on their faces. Bucky had completed his mission and had returned that morning.
“I wanna go down,” Clint whined to Natasha.
“You’ve already been down.”
“I wanna go again. With you guys. It will be so much fun!”
“Well, why don’t we,” Bucky decided. “It’s not like-“
“Absolutely not,” Pepper interrupted as she walked into the room. “Peter’s on a field trip. We should let him have fun. That means nointerference.”
“Aw, you’re no fun,” Clint complained.
“Ms Potts,” Jarvis addressed, “It seems that Peter is being verbally harassed by another student.”
All five adults turned to look at each other.
“You mean Peter’s getting bullied?” Natasha asked, “How long has that been going on for?”
“it seems to have continued for the better part of four years.”
The five adults looked at each other, before scrambling towards the elevator.
***
Peter tried to ignore Flash. Really. He did.
“What the shit, Parker!” Flash called, “How much money did you have to pay to get Tonyfreaking Stark to talk to you?”
“Shut up, Flash,” Peter muttered.
“Who names their kid Flash?”
Flash jumped a foot into the air, only then realising that Clint stood behind him, having jumped down from the vents. Peter, with his enhanced hearing, had heard the vents spring open.
“Wha- You’re Hawkeye!”
“Yep, that’s my name kid,” He mocked. “Don’t overuse it,” he added in a very sombre tone.
Peter internally caved. Well, at least Tasha and Bucky weren-
“Hey, Peter, is this kid bothering you?” Tasha asked from where she leaned against the doorframe, cleaning her nails with her knives.
“No, really, Nat, it’s fine,” Peter sighed above Flash’s splutters of: That’s THE BLACK WIDOW! WHAT THE HE-“
“Stay away from Mini-Stark,” Bucky threatened menacingly, and Peter snorted at this new-found nickname. OK, so at least Thor-
“PETER, SON OF PARKER. I HATH RETURNED TO MIDGARD TO SHOW YOU THE DANCE OF MY PEOPLE!”
Peter sighed. He really needed to stop jinxing himself… wait, what? Peter turned to Thor to see the God of Thunder in what appeared to be a robe, but Peter could have sworn to be a-“Thor, why are you wearing a dress?”
“I PUT HIM UP TO IT!” A voice called from somewhere in the ceiling
“Hey, Wade.”
“Lightning Dude showed me a video of him teaching Capsicle to dance!” Wade called, “It was amazing! Almost as good as the PSA’s!”
“What on Earth are you blabbering about?” Natasha glared at the grate in the vents where Wade’s head could be seen. Upside down, but still.
Wade gasped, “You haven’t seen Cap’s PSA’s? I declare it movie night tonight!”
“HA! YES!” Peter called. He could finally repay Cap back for the time he hid Peter’s suit in the oven. And Wade cooked. And set fire to the oven. And his suit.
“I MISSED YOU SO MUCH BABY-BOY!” Wade called from the vents. “I know!” Deadpool decided, “I’ll sing you a song!” Deadpool cleared his throat and proceeded to sing (Well it was more like belting at the top of his lungs).
“Dude, I totally miss you/I totally miss you/ Dude, I totally miss you all the time… AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, AAAAAAAAAAAH/ AHHHHHHHHHHHH, AAAAAAAAAH/ AAH YA-HE-HAAA!!!!”
Deadpool crawled out of the hole in the vents that Clint had, but his boot caught on a loose screw, and he fell from the ceiling, bringing half the ventilation system with him. Peter lost himself in a fit of giggles. Wade groaned from the floor, sat up, and waved a very broken hand at Peter.
“Do you think Tony will-“
“WADE!”
There was a collective silence, from Peter, his classmates and the Avengers.
“Well, if you excuse me,” Deadpool announced, before sprinting around lab equipment in an attempt to reach the window. Iron Man’s face appeared on the outside of the glass, and Wade gave a short shriek and stumbled backwards, breaking a various assortment of test tubes with who-knows-what in them, before turning to run in the opposite direction.
“BABY-BOY SAVE ME!” he screamed as he threw himself across the room and into Peter, breaking even more equipment, so much so that Tony would certainly not let Wade back into the Tower, in, like ever. Even with his increased strength, Peter still fell to the floor when his boyfriend ran into him, landing with an “oomph” as the air was knocked out of him.
“Really, Petey,” Wade cooed as he rose, once again, from the floor, “I thought you would catch me.”
“Shouldn’t you be running away from Dad?” Peter asked as he tried to regain his breath.
“Oh yeah!” Wade remembered as Tony tried to open the window latch with his metal-enclosed fingers in the suit. After many failed attempts, Tony gave up and fired at the wall.
“Oh, come on! You just created more damage than I did!” Wade complained as Tony flew through the hole he had created in the wall. Deadpool screamed and ran out of the door.
“You’ll never catch me!” He called over his shoulder, before he suddenly stopped. Tony paused his chasing in confusion.
“Oh, and Flashy-boy?” Wade addressed Flash, “If I ever hear wind of you harassing my Petey, I will kill you. Then I will find a way to revive you, and kill you again. No hard feelings. Scrap that. Hard feelings. Very hard feelings. Having said that, SEXY MUTHAFUCKA OUT!”
Wade, after assessing all possible escape routes, and the one that would piss Tony off the most, leapt through one of the lab walls, leaving a decidedly Deadpool-shaped hole in the plaster.
Tony, in his Iron Man suit, turned to Peter.
“Well, that was interesting.”
“I thought you were angry…” Peter replied.
“Eh, hearing Deadpool scream so many times took my anger away. I mean seriously, what is with that?”
Clint and Peter burst into laughter, and Bucky and Natasha smirked.
And Peter’s class… they didn’t exactly know how to react.