Soul Meets Body

He wakes up and everything is dark. It takes him a few minutes to remember who he is, where he is, and what happened.  

His name is James Buchanan Barnes but it’s Bucky to everyone that knows him, though that number had gotten fewer as time passed (until it fully disappeared, just like his identity). 

Then the past few years he got it back slowly but eventually till it was taken from him once again. Now he’s trapped God knows where. The last thing he saw was Steve as he called out his name but then everything felt odd and he fell or drifted. He’s not so sure.

He woke up to nothingness so after he got his bearings (remembering his name and such, the usual) he decides to start walking and just keeps on doing that.

He’s not sure when the trees started appearing and the ground beneath him but it wasn’t natural, that he knew.

They were trying to stop some big strong purple guy from getting a bunch of powerful stones he thinks. But judging on where he is, he believes maybe they hadn’t succeed... or maybe he’s just a casualty.

It takes him a few hours to run into others like him, though none worth stopping for.

He walks further.

He sits down and rests, sometimes even closing his eyes and sleeping, if you can call it that.

He never eats.

He’s never hungry.

It takes him a while until he’s in full isolation again. He thinks he might like that better than people gathering around each other screaming, crying, begging, losing it on the outside like he was losing it on the inside.

A day or two after he starts walking, though now he’s not sure for what purpose, he sees someone that does catch his eye. He’s small, wearing a white shirt and blue jeans. His body is hunched over, back resting on a rock, his face hiding in his arms.

Bucky is too far away to know for sure but he looks like....

Steve.

Steve before the war, before all this shit.

He walks faster to the kid almost jogging as he makes his way.

“Steve?” He says quietly as he nears. “I was so afraid that-”

But it’s not Steve. He can see now the kid has longer hair, darker too. So he just stands there. On the plus side if it was Steve that’d mean Bucky was definitely dead...but on the other hand he’s not sure if he’d rather be or not. And now he’s probably freaking out the already freaked out kid that is actually by him.

“Hey…” Bucky says softly. “Kid?”

He holds out his hand but thinks better of it. The kid is already freaked out, don't want a strange man who looks like he could play the role of Jesus in a play reaching out and telling you “you’re okay”. He’d have an even harder time explaining to him that he’s not actually dead then. Yes I choose to look like this but I’m not the son of God, and we might be in some stone dimension.

The kid turns to him and Bucky holds up both hands.

“Hey, sorry I thought you were...someone else and I…” Then I thought it’d be weird to run up to someone and at least not see if they were okay. “I lost my…” Bucky starts. “Steve...in the war.”

“You lost your Steve?” the kid asks and he can sense a light humor to his voice.

Bucky gives a small smile and looks down. “...yeah.”

The kid nods and moves his legs out from under him, spreading them in front. ‘I’m starting to think we’re the lost ones.”

Bucky nods with that. “How long have you been here?” He asks.

The kid shrugs. “Hour or so.” Bucky is shocked. He was sure he was looking at half a week or more. “You?”

“I umm few days.”

The kid’s confused expression matches his. “The snap was supposed to be immediate...according to that Footloose guy.” The kid says almost to himself then seems to calculate that in his head. “So time is meaningless here...great.”

“Snap?” Bucky asks.

“Yeah…infinity stones or something. This big alien guy wanted all of them and when he does…” the kid gestures to the space around them.

“How do you know all of this?”

“I lost someone too,” the kid starts. “Mr. Stark,” He shakes his head and looks down again.

“Howard?” Bucky lets it out too quickly before thinking logically.

This catches the kid’s attention. “No. Tony. How do you know Howard?”

Oh we go way back. “I…” Bucky’s not sure if he wants to reveal his identity just yet. He didn’t really have the best reputation on Earth and especially not where the Starks came in. “I knew him. When he was young...”

The kid looks at him like he’s crazy. “You’d have to be…”

“101 years old?” Bucky answers.

“Really?”

Bucky shrugs. “Bucky Barnes.” he says and offers out his hand. “But you might know me more as-”

“The Winter Soldier.” The kid finishes.

“Yeah but I-”

“That wasn’t you...I know.” The kid gives a sympathetic look and Bucky decides not to ask how he knows, as curious as he was. “I’m Peter.” The kid holds out his hand. “We’ve actually met before.”

They shake slowly, Bucky’s eyebrow going up in confusion. “You had a different metal arm then” Peter points to Bucky's appendage. “That one looks even cooler though”

“Thanks,” Bucky says absentmindedly rubbing it. “When did we meet?”

Peter holds out his hand that was in a grip revealing a mask. “Of all the things I’m kind of glad I didn’t end up here wearing the suit. It can get so uncomfortable in so many ways," He laughs. 

“Wait…” And Bucky remembers. The airport a few years ago. “You were the Spiderkid?”

“Spid.. Spiderman," Peter corrects. “I had an update too but I guess I wasn’t allowed to keep it in here.”

Bucky is about to comment something but they hear footsteps near them. He motions for Peter to get up and the kid does so quietly. The fake trees look to be rustling and Bucky pulls the kid tighter to him, not sure who or what lurks behind them.

A man comes out and Bucky’s grip loosens a little but still tight, keeping the kid behind him.

“What the fuck. I hate this shit," The voice says.  The man looks up and Bucky recognizes his face.

Sam.

Though he’s not sure seeing him is a good thing or a bad thing.  

Sam’s recognition of Bucky comes immediately as well. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me?” He comes towards Bucky. “The first person I see in this place since getting here and it’s you?” Sam looks up to the sky. “I’m in hell”

Bucky smirks and lets his protective stance fall.

Sam looks past Bucky to the kid behind him. “So what? You adopt a kid in the half hour we’ve been here?”

“Half hour?” Bucky says. 

“Oh I’m Peter,” Peter reaches over Bucky and holds out his hand for a shake. “We’ve met before too actually”

“I wouldn't…”, Bucky mumbles behind him. “I wouldn’t mention that.”

“Right" Sam says as Peter moves away from behind Bucky.  "And what’s your deal?”

“Oh he thought I was ...Steve?”  Peter says. 

Bucky sighs.

“Aren’t you missing like 4 inches? And about a hundred pounds?” Sam asks. 

“Younger...Steve I thought maybe…”

“He’d be here with you” Sam finishes.

Bucky looks down and lets out a small “Yeah” and Sam doesn’t press on, doesn’t talk about how stupid that might be. Bucky might not be Sam’s favorite person but he knows how much he loves Steve and how often they get unfairly separated.

“I think maybe we should stick together,” Bucky suggests after a few moments of silence. “Since we’re somewhat acquainted.” And there’s no way he’s leaving this kid behind.

Sam nods in agreement. Peter smiles and nods with him.

“Sooo,” Sam starts. “Any ideas on how to get out of here?”

-

-

-

Weeks pass, or rather it felt like weeks to Bucky. He’s still not sure how time works for everyone here or if they were on the same page now that they were together. They meet others along the way but mostly stick with each other.

They still didn’t need food but slept a lot, like sleeping made up for their other basic needs. Though they guess maybe souls do need to rest once in a while. On week 2 Bucky wakes in the middle of the night (?) to Peter next to him rocking back and forth. The kid was usually fairly calm and collected often making jokes throughout the day.

“Hey,” Bucky whispers sitting up. “You alright?”

Peter doesn’t seem to hear.

“Peter?” Bucky moves closer to him and the kid looks towards him.

“I left everyone behind.” He starts, staring back to the distance he was looking at before. “May. Ned. All my friends think I’m dead. May is probably losing her mind. Mr. Stark...if May didn’t kill him yet, he’s…” Peter breathes in. “What if we don’t get out of here?”

“We will,” Bucky says with more confidence than he thought he had.

“How do you know?”

“I just do.” Bucky says, Peter looks at him desperately. “He’s a punk for it but Steve won’t stop till he finds us or gets us out and Tony….well if he cares as much about you like it seems, from the way you talk about him, well...that’s a good man to have on your side too. And who knows who else they have. It’s only a matter of time.” Bucky looks around them. “And we have plenty of that.”

He looks at Peter who seems satisfied by his answer. Bucky reaches over and puts his arm around Peter and pats his shoulder in comfort. He lets go and lets his arm fall back by him.

Peter looks down at Bucky’s hand. “You know that really is a cool looking arm.”

Bucky rolls his eyes and tries to scowl but breaks into a smile instead.

“You know this girl about your age actually made it for me.”

“Really?” Peter asks already sitting up straighter ready to hear the details. So Bucky sits there and tells Peter all about Shuri and what she did for him. Then about the arm and how it’s made of Vibranium, about Wakanda, his little peaceful farm. The kid goes to sleep that night excited about meeting her in the outside world once they get there.

Another week later and Bucky wakes one morning to the sight of his arm. It’s not metal no it’s flesh like before the war, before he…

He sits up for at least an hour just staring at it before Peter wakes up. Sam is still fast asleep near the long burned out fire.

Peter walks over to Bucky, who is touching and poking at his arm, not thinking anything of it until-

“Woah is that?” Peter asks. His question barely fazing Bucky who's still staring at the flesh.  

“My arm.” Bucky says softly, he’s not sure the emotion he feels. “What is this?” He looks at Peter.

Peter waits a moment before answering or maybe he was thinking. “Time stone.”

“The what?”

“Time stone they must’ve got it. You can go back in time...change things, stop other things from happening.”

“You mean?”

“Has to be it? Maybe they changed whatever made you lose it?”

Bucky’s not sure if that’s a good thing or bad thing as the knowledge of the events didn’t come to him, if it ever would. “But why here?”

Peter shrugs. “Maybe it changes in here and then when you go back out there,” he points indicating the real world. “Then the memories catch up?”

Bucky sighs and shakes his head. This shit was just getting more confusing.

It doesn't last long though Bucky wakes up a few days later to his arm missing again but it strangely makes him feel more like himself if anything but that means the fall...it still happened and Steve couldn’t save him.

A day later his old metal arm returns, red star and everything and Bucky can’t wait to get the fucking thing off. Steve better let Stark still blast it off or something so he doesn’t have to see the shit again.  And sure enough the next week that happens exactly and he’s back to vibranium arm.

Nobody else changes like he does. The kid briefly lost his Spiderman mask, then it was some weird red mask with goggles, then back to the one he came in with. Sam said a scar on his leg disappeared and then reappeared but he isn’t going to show Bucky or anyone.

“Guess Riley is still gone then.” Is all he says.

-

-

The changing soon stops and they think maybe that’s it. Either what they wanted to do with time travel worked or it didn’t and they’re trying something else.

It’s silence for a while, a long while. Till Bucky wakes up again one day to screaming. He thinks it’s the kid until he realizes it’s him...and he’s in pain? And a lot of it.

It doesn't make sense no one has felt anything here except occasionally tired but fuck was he hurting and there’s nothing he or anyone could do.

-

-

-

“Is this it?” Steve asks, pointing to the shining object down a deep cave.

“Orange freaky alien stone?” Tony mocks. “Yeah I think so.”

Ignoring the fact that it took some Stark tech to even see the thing from the height they were at Steve jumps down the hole, though this time Tony had forced a parachute on his back just in case.

“Cap!” Tony calls out annoyed and presses his suit to cover up his body fully again before he flies down to follow Steve. “Don’t wait up.” He jokes as he lands.

Steve is already by the stone, his hand dropping down to it.

“Wait don’t” Tony calls out before Steve grabs it.

He shouldn’t have been able to do more than poke his finger on it before he’s sent back but somehow Steve is able to grab the stone without anything. He does feel pain, sure. His eyes even close because of it and he can hear...screaming. He tries to focus on the screams but Tony is by him hitting his arm and telling him to drop the stone in some metallic container Tony has held out. Steve drops it in shaking his head in confusion.

“You alright?” Tony asks.

Steve nods. “Yeah just...thought I heard something.”

Steve only holds the stone for a second and as quickly as the pain attacked Bucky it disappears.

-

-

-

After that day it’s quiet again, this time much longer. It feels like months.

They change location.

More weeks pass.

Nothing.

Bucky almost begs for pain, his old arm back, a new scar, anything to show that something is happening.

“You think they would have hooked us up with some tv or something.” Sam says. “Some music maybe? This soul stone bullshit sucks.”

“We could interact with more people?” Peter suggests.

Buck and Sam look at each other. “Fuck no.”

They laugh but watch as Peter makes new friends and gets to know more people. He relays their stories to Bucky and Sam when he comes back to sleep in their own little camp.

And then one day something happens.

The sky turns a blinding yellow unlike any sun Bucky has ever seen. The kid is the first to say anything as he turns to Bucky.

“Mr. Barnes?”

Bucky watches as the trees and surrounding plants around them start dissolving and a sense of peace washes over him. “What have I been telling you, kid? Looks like they found a way.” He smiles at Peter as they both look around them at the disappearing atmosphere.

“What do we do?” Peter asks as a white light appears, almost like a beam trying to find the lost souls.

“I guess head towards that.” Bucky answers.

“You guys seeing this?” A voice behind them asks and Bucky turns around to Sam running towards them past the now disappearing rocks and plants by them. They watch as others head to “the light” proving Bucky’s hypothesis.

“Should I say ‘Beam me up, Scotty’ before I go to it?” Peter says, jokingly.

“Huh?” Bucky asks to Sam’s amusement. “That’s neither of our-”

“Nevermind”

“-names”

“It’s a show,” Sam clarifies clapping Bucky on the shoulder. “Way after your time.”

Bucky is about to roll his eyes at Sam when a strong surge of pain strikes through his body. It’s like before but worse. He cries out and falls to his knees.

“Hey, man you alright?” Sam asks.

“Mr. Barnes?” Peter adds running to Bucky.

Bucky nods, groaning. Sam crouches next to him. “I’m fine.” Bucky says then looks at Peter. “Go,” he moves his head to the beam.

But Peter isn’t moving. “You said we’d stay together.”

“And we will. I’ll be right behind you I swear.” Bucky winces trying to get up but failing. “I’ll be there, I promise.” He looks at Peter. “And I don’t break my promises.”

Bucky offers him a comforting smile before he tells him to go again. Peter listens, walking to the beem and looking back once more before disappearing like the others.

Another stab of pain courses through Bucky’s body and he cries out dropping back down to the ground. Sam is by him.

“Hey, what’s going on? What is this?” Sam asks, voice full of concern, a shocking change from his usual demeanor around him.

Bucky shakes his head. “Something out there…” Bucky starts, trying to talk through the pain. “Maybe it doesn’t want me out.”

He looks at Sam kneeling by his body. “Maybe…” Bucky breathes in sharply as more pain echos through his body. “...maybe not everyone is meant to get out. Maybe I’m not meant to.” He says through gritted teeth.

He looks to where the kid disappeared to minutes before and back to Sam.

‘But you still can.” He offers Sam a smile, similar to the one when he told Steve he was going back in Cyro. God it seems like a lifetime ago now. He watches as Sam contemplates what he just said. “Can you just do something for me?” He doesn’t wait for Sam’s answer. “Tell Steve I l-”

“Nah” Sam shakes his head and stands up. Bucky is shocked. He figured long ago Sam didn’t like him but this was basically his dying wish. But Sam continues. “You’re going to tell him yourself.”

“What I?” He tries to move but the pain won't let his legs budge. “I can’t…”

“Look I will drag your ass out of here if that’s what it takes,” Sam says sternly.

Bucky is shocked. “You’ll what-?”

Sam leans down to grab Bucky’s arm and swing it behind his neck as he lifts Bucky up from the ground. “Come on. It’s time to get out of this shithole.”

-

-

-

Steve was supposed to be the one to “wield” the stone. He had held it a few minutes when they found it without much struggle but Thor insists upon it since he is a God and all and Steve doesn’t bother arguing. As little by little people started appearing around them they realize it’s working. The number increased faster and faster though they impatiently wait for their own to to come back. It seems the stone decides to keep those for last.

“Do we know how they’ll come back?” Steve asks. “Is it just in random places or?”

“They return to the last one they saw,” Bruce says. “Unless...otherwise unable.”

“What’s that mean otherwise unable?”

“Means if they’re dead,” Tony interrupts as his phone rings in his pocket. He sees the caller ID of a woman who lost the one she loved most, a kid Tony was responsible for. He hits the end call button and watches it go to voicemail. Tony clears his throat. “Can we put a rush on this? I got yoga in a few hours.” He says with his usual tint of humor but Steve knows. They all know.

“How do we know when all of them are out?” Steve asks next, looking to Bruce who reads through whatever lore they managed to find in the time since half the universe disappeared.

“Says when the one the wielder of the stone loves most appears...or something to that effect.”

Thor drops his head “I’m sorry.” He opens up his hand towards Steve. “I lost all I loved before this happened.”

Steve sighs and looks sadly at Thor. None of them had asked. None of them wondered why the usually light God of Thunder had a sundden tint of darkness to him now.  They had just focused on the task of defeating Thanos and getting everyone back. They never figured… “Thor I’m sorry…” Steve says.

Thor holds up his hand and shakes Steve’s apology away. “It’s no worry. We all lost a lot. I’m just glad I can help get some back”

Steve nods and takes the stone from Thor becoming the wielder himself. Though since he’s not as powerful as a GOD it does take some effect on him but he powers through.

Tony gets another call and again it’s Aunt May. He breathes in sharply and again hits the ignore call button.

“You know she hates when I do that,” a small voice behind him says, and it sounds so familiar but yet so foreign to Tony now. “Always get a lecture afterwards about how is she supposed to know if I’m in trouble or not if I keep ignoring her calls.”

Tony turns around and sees Peter, looking exactly the same as he did when he saw him turn to dust, begging to not go.

“You’re…?”

Peter shrugs. “Don’t worry I already called May-” Peter tries to say as he’s clashed with a tight hug from his mentor. “Is this a hug Mr. Stark?”

Tony chuckles. “Yeah, kid. It’s a hug.” They break away. “Now go home to your aunt before she hunts me down for keeping you even longer.”

“Yeah I told her I’ll be home but I had something to take care of first.” He looks at Steve and the stone.

“Pete you don’t-”

“I’m an Avenger now...remember?”

“Yeah, I do but-”

“Plus...someone made me a promise. I have to see if he follows through”

Tony sighs but accepts Peter’s answer, though unaware at what the kid was talking about.

Steve lets out a loud groan as he struggles with the stone.

“You alright, Steve?” Bruce asks.

“Maybe I can take it back for a bit?” Thor asks.

“No,” Steve groans again. “I got it”

“You sure? Maybe it’s done. I mean how can you be sure who’s supposed to come through-” Bruce starts.

“I know who I lost,” Steve says and powers on, closing his eyes as he struggles.

“What’s that?” Tony asks moments later, pointing to the distance.

Steve opens his eyes and looks to the direction Tony points. He sees 2 figures. One practically carrying the other. He squints through the now annoyingly bright light. Was that the sun?

“Could just be some hurt citizens?”

“Looking like that? Pretty sure this is the one time we didn’t destroy the city in the process of saving it,” Tony retorts.

But then as they come closer they become clear. Steve can make out the outline of them. He recognizes Sam first and feels relief till he realizes who he’s carrying. His long hair is blocking out his face but Steve knows. He’s laid by his side hours  looking like that before he disappeared right in front of him. He wants to kick himself for not recognizing him sooner but bases more of that on the fact that Sam shouldn’t be carrying him. Why would he need to be?

But Steve waits to be sure.

It ends when the one you love most passes through.

“Sam!” He finally yells out when the two men coming towards them are in earshot. When he  notices Sam reacting to his name Steve runs towards them, the others following closely behind.

“Sam” He says again, grabbing his friend’s shoulder. He tries his best to smile to him but he looks to Sam’s other arm desperately trying to hold up the man in it.

“Buck…” Steve lets out, brushing the hair away from Bucky’s face so he could see him. Bucky’s eyes barely open. “What happened to him?” Steve asks fear letting it’s way through in his voice.

“I don’t know, man” Sam let’s out, grunting as the weight of Bucky on his arm is taking its toll. Steve grabs Bucky’s loose arm and puts it around him.

Bruce clears his throat. “I...might’ve read something.” He looks down. “I’m sorry, Cap. I didn’t think it’d be relevant. I thought...”

“What is it?” Steve asks.

“The stone. When you wield it it can take its toll.”

“Yeah I noticed.” Steve says. “What’s that have to do with Bucky?”

Bruce sighs and continues. “It can takes its toll not only on you but on your...um...soulmate. If you have one and if they’re still alive. And sometimes does worse damage to them.”

“Soulmate.” Steve says it more like a statement then a question as he looks at Bucky.

“I’m sorry, Cap. I figured they’d...I figured if you had one they’d be long dead by now I didn’t know.”

Bucky groans out in pain again, his arm around Steve tightens and Steve realizes he’s still carrying the damn Soul stone. He opens his hand as if it’s on fire but quickly realizes dropping the stone straight on the ground might not be the best idea. Tony is right there by Steve holding out the container they had kept the Stone in to keep it safe from anyone touching it. Steve drops it in and almost immediately feels Bucky relax in his arm.

“I got you,” Steve tells him as he carries a still not fully conscious Bucky to the Quinjet.

He lays Bucky down as he comes to. He watches as the man he thought he lost forever this time open his eyes, watching them try to focus on him. “Steve...?”  Bucky lets out.

“Buck,” Steves smiles down at him and it’s almost brighter than the damn soul stone’s light.  “How you feelin?”

“Mmm better,” Now that I’m with you. He grabs Steve’s hand that was laying on his chest. “What...was that?”

Steve shrugs his shoulders. “Apparently we’re soulmates.”

Bucky lets out a small laugh. “I could’ve figured that.”

“Mr. Barnes!” They hear behind them and Steve turns around to see the same kid Tony was talking to running to them. “Hey, you made it out!”

Bucky turns his head towards Peter’s voice, grinning. “What’d I tell you, kid? I dont break promises.” Buck says to a relieved Peter. “Isn’t that right, Steve?” He smiles back up at his boyfriend.

Steve nods. “That’s right.”  

Peter looks between them. “Wait that’s ...your b-your Steve. You’re Steve!”

Steve chuckles lightly.

“I don't know why I didn't connect that. You uhh look different, Cap. Without the helmet...and the outfit...the shield…”

“Yeah we get-”

“Your hair...the beard…”

“Does he stop?”

“Eventually…” Bucky chuckles lightly.

“Is that your old outfit or did you get a new one that looks like your old one but ...dark.”

“I-”

“Alright first things first we’re getting the kid home!” Tony announces as he boards the ship. That seems to distract Peter enough as he runs up to Tony.

“Then what?” Bucky asks.

“Then we go home,” Steve answers looking out the window.

“And where’s home?”

Wherever you are. “Wherever you want it to be, Buck” Steve turns back to Bucky and smiles at his partner. His soulmate.

Bucky smiles back then clears his throat. “Hey so...can a soulmate get a kiss or something?”

Steve laughs. “Yeah, yeah,.” He leans down and gives Bucky a sweet but tender kiss. They pull apart both wanting more but not now. “Now get some rest.” Steve suggests. Bucky nods and closes his eyes. Steve sits down, brushes Bucky’s hair back, kisses his forehead, and then lays his head down too next to Bucky’s closing his eyes.

 ---

        “A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise.”

— Richard Bach