Frank gripped the arm of the couch in Matt’s living room, making the leather creak.
“Relax,” Matt cooed as he returned from the kitchen, handing Frank a glass of whiskey over his shoulder.
Frank huffed, but knocked back his drink obligingly, letting the warmth rush up his frame. “Thought my inability to relax was the point of this.”
Matt rested his hands on Frank’s shoulders, letting his hands work out the tension in Frank’s muscles. Frank’s head rolled, grunting as his stiff muscles were worked over. It had gotten a hundred times better since they started caring for each other (They really couldn’t call it dating, they were both too busy and too wrecked emotionally for any kind of conventional relationship, but they had been sharing a bed and keeping each other safe and sane for months). Still, Frank’s mind was racing; one ear always listening for danger, ready to kill at a second’s notice. Kill or be killed.
“You don’t need to be afraid of this. It’s unconventional, but it’ll help, if you give it a chance. Trust me.”
“I do, Red. It’s not you.” It wasn’t a lie; Frank trusted Matt more than anyone else alive. It wasn’t Matt, it was the fact that anyone could come smashing through that door to kill them both at any given moment. It was the fact that the part of the world that didn’t already think Frank was dead desperately wanted him dead, and that put Matt in so much danger--
Matt dug into an especially sore knot in his back, drawing a groan from Frank and derailing his train of thought. He nosed the top of Frank’s head at the same time, making Frank feel warm all over in a way that the whiskey had nothing to do with.
“I want you to feel safe, Frank. I want you to know you’re safe with me, and let yourself really relax for a little while. You don’t even know how much better you’ll feel, believe me.”
“Yeah, I know,” Frank said. “You’ve told me how much the whole thing helps you focus. S’why I’m giving it a shot.”
“But you’ve still got a death grip on the couch, and your teeth are grinding.”
Frank immediately relaxed his hands and jaw, but Matt knew it was a conscious effort, knew where his head was at. He was nervous, he didn’t like letting down his guard, and he thought this was too much like taking away his will. With an exasperated chuckle, Matt tipped Frank’s head up and kissed him, deep and slow. Frank melted into Matt’s lips while his hands traveled down Frank’s chest, rubbing and touching.
“Could always just take out my stress on that sweet ass of yours,” Frank smirked, knowing the cheesiness of the line would make Matt huff and smile.
“If this doesn’t do anything for you, we can always try something else.” Matt’s nimble fingers trailed back up Frank’s front, tracing his throat and jaw, raising goosebumps across Frank’s arms and shoulders. “For now, lie down, let me at least try to get you in that state of mind.”
If Frank was being honest, he really didn’t think hypnosis would work for him. He’d faced desolation, torment, and pain enough for ten men, and his will was unbroken. It might be the only part of him left intact. And Matt had tried to explain that trance wasn’t a matter of breaking Frank’s will, but making him so calm that he was open, that his mind became so calm that he fell into another state of consciousness. Frank had supposed it was like forcing himself to ignore pain when he was shot or bloodied, mind over matter to achieve a goal, but he couldn’t for the life of him see what was very appealing about letting someone play mind games with him.
Still. He trusted Matt not to hurt him, Matt was maybe the only person he knew would never try to hurt him, and Matt honestly thought this would make him feel good. So he was willing to indulge his lover. He laid back on the couch as Matt directed, hands clasped over his stomach. He watched Matt sit on the edge of the coffee table across from him, focusing in on Frank. Intensity was written on Matt’s face as he cocked his head, clearly listening to Frank’s heart, his breath, gauging how to begin.
“Close your eyes. Take a slow, deep breath in, hold it. Now let it out slowly.”
Frank did as he said, imagining he was looking through a rifle scope, oxygenating so his hands wouldn’t shake. Hit the target, stay alive.
“You aren’t sniping anyone, that isn’t what I want you to imagine. This is supposed to be peaceful.”
Frank’s eyes opened before he could stop himself to see Matt’s bemused half-smile. “How’d you know I was…?”
“I know you, and I know what you sound like when you’re aiming. Don’t associate this with work. Now, eyes closed.”
Frank did as he was told, brow furrowed. If he wasn’t supposed to think about what he knew, how was he supposed to get into this?
“I want you to keep breathing like you just were, keep it slow and even, but I want you to imagine something else for me. Picture you and I lying on a blanket in an empty field. It’s nothing but grassy hills for miles, you can see everything. There are no vantage points, there’s nowhere for any threats to lurk. It’s a completely safe place for us to relax. The sun is high overhead. It casts a soft, gentle warmth on your arms and your face, but there’s a slight breeze to keep us cool, and it moves the grass in rolling waves. There’s nothing to chase, nothing to worry about. All we need to do is lie there and enjoy ourselves.”
Matt’s voice was slow, kind of rhythmic. Nice to listen to. He painted such a vivid picture, Frank could almost feel the warmth from the sun, the breeze in his hair. He liked the thought of being alone with Matt, of being safe.
Matt was listening closely to Frank, smiled when his heart and breath started to slow, just a little. He still wasn’t under, not by a long shot, but he was giving it a chance, and he seemed to like where Matt was taking him.
“Now, I want you to focus especially on that sunlight, that warmth. It feels nice to let it absorb into your skin, so relaxing to just take it in. Everywhere it touches, you feel comfortable and tranquil. You can feel it warming your toes, your feet and ankles. Focus on it for a second, really take in how comfortable and easy it is to lie there and let the sun warm you. Feel that warmth in your calves, your legs. Everywhere the light touches, your body feels so good, so relaxed. Feel that complete, prefect relaxation spread, up your legs, into your hips….”
Matt talked him up, made the warmth spread up Frank’s body. He knew Frank could feel it, the way his breath became slower, shallower. Each time Matt mentioned a part of Frank’s body feeling warm and relaxed, Frank responded, the muscles in that region releasing. His back, his shoulders, his arms all went limp as he “felt” the warmth flooding them. When his head rolled to the side, Matt almost laughed--he was deeper than he’d anticipated--but he didn’t dare interrupt the rhythm, or change his voice. Didn’t dare wake Frank up when he was finally getting into it.
Frank couldn’t feel anything, beyond the warmth in his entire body. His mind wasn’t racing so much at this point, he was just kind of floating, feeling calm and drowsy from Matt’s description of that calm, pretty place. His thoughts were half hearted and slow, like they were after sex, when he was falling asleep and there was nothing to bother them. Matt got to Frank’s neck, and Frank’s head just rolled over onto his shoulder. He considered fixing it; his eyes fluttered, he managed a weak sigh at the change, but he was too deep to really care about it. He wanted to stay in that place, even if it wasn’t real, he didn’t want to come back to reality and move quite yet.
Matt’s voice was still slow and easy, and it made Frank want to just doze right off. “Now focus on your scalp, your cheeks, your eyebrows, even your eyelids. You can feel the heat sinking into your skin, the muscles there, and it’s so easy to let them relax, Your entire body’s just bathed in that sunlight now, that peaceful, natural warmth. You’re completely, totally at peace, and nothing can disturb you. Not even if I touched you, like I’ll do in a moment to move your head, to make you more comfortable. Is that alright, Frank?”
“Mhm,” Frank rumbled, too sleepy to form words, but the thought of Red getting him straightened out and comfortable sounded better than letting his head loll to the side like this. He felt Matt’s hands at his temples, shifting his skull upright against a pillow.
“There,” Matt cooed, and Frank didn’t bother repressing the sigh or the smile when he ran his fingers across Frank’s scalp, massaging gently. It felt good to be cared for in such a small, tender way. It felt good to trust Matt to take care of him.
Matt’s hands retreated before he began speaking again. “But as relaxed as you are, your mind is still active. Your thoughts might have drifted, I know, but they are still present. I want you to not think for a bit, I want you to feel that utter, mindless peace of having no worries, no cares.”
Matt must have stayed close, because his voice felt everywhere, felt like silk across Frank’s skin. It was grounding, and making Frank float even further at the same time. But Frank started thinking about his own thoughts, about how slow and sleepy he’d gotten. He almost panicked at the sudden realization that he was so far from alertness, that he had let himself drift so far so fast (how long had Matt been speaking, anyway?).
Matt sensed the change, put his hand back in Frank’s hair to ground him and calm him. “It’s alright, Frank. You’re safe here, in this grassy, clear place with me, and it’s alright to let your thoughts wander. Trust me, and trust that I’ll take care of you. Nothing will hurt us, I promise.”
Matt’s hand on him, the complete serenity and confidence in Matt’s voice, settled Frank back down. The picture Matt had painted, of blue skies, green grass, and absolute peace became clear in Frank’s head again. Matt was right, Frank felt safe for once, and it felt okay to let Matt take charge.
“That’s it,” Matt murmured, low and strong. “Just relax, baby. Remember how good that sunlight feels on you, in you, and how easy it is to just lie on this blanket with me. You know you could wake up at any time you want, and if anything happens, you’ll come back to yourself refreshed and alert. But you don’t need to yet, and it feels so good to just drift in this safe place a bit longer, to enjoy this little getaway. Just the two of us.”
Frank was deep again, almost unconscious based on his vitals. Matt was already proud of himself for getting him to that point, especially in such a short amount of time, but it was time to take the next step.
“Frank, I want to take you a little deeper, make you feel so good, so relaxed. It will feel amazing, even more peaceful and comfortable than you are now. But you have to trust me, focus totally on my words, and let your thoughts fade away, just for a little while. You can still wake up the moment you feel uncomfortable, or the moment I tell you to, but you won’t need to because you are completely safe with me, enough to let your conscious thoughts drift...away...completely.”
Matt ‘watched’ as he slowed the rhythm of his words, sensed Frank sink into the couch more and more with every word, every breath. He was reacting positively now, it was good, but he didn’t want to risk spooking him again.
“If you do not want to relax further, if you want to stay just as you are, we can stay here, in this warm, comfortable state. Or I can take you further, take you deeper, and make you feel even better than you do now. Do you want to go deeper, Frank?”
Frank’s thoughts were slow again, sluggish, but one thing stood out. Matt was with him, Matt was awake, Matt would keep him safe. He was protected, he could relax, just for a little while. And he trusted Matt, he was curious to see how far this could go, how good it could feel. He could wake up at any time, but he didn’t want to.
“Do you you want me to take you deeper?” Matt asked gently, reminding Frank that he needed an answer.
“Yeah,” Frank mumbled, leaning into the warm hand on his head. “Wanna...go….” God, it was hard to make words, but it was okay, Matt would understand.
There was a kiss on his head, unexpected, but sweet and reassuring. “Alright, we can go further. Don’t worry about a thing, I’ll take care of you, baby. Just focus on my words, nothing else. All you need are my words guiding you down, into deep relaxation.
“Remember that you can still feel that warmth in your body, from your head to your toes. It’s on your face, your scalp, making everything so relaxed, making you feel warm and sweet.” Matt could feel muscles relax under his fingers, tight things releasing, goosebumps rising further down his neck at the sheer pleasure of such relaxation.
“Now focus on that warmth in your head, and feel it penetrating deeper, where your thoughts are. You see, thoughts are a form of tension. Your thoughts ease when you’re relaxed, like you are now, and they race when you’re focused, or afraid.
“But you are not afraid here, with me, and there is no reason to focus, because I’m taking care of you, taking care of everything. So when that warmth goes deeper, when it touches your thoughts, you can feel your thoughts unwind, relax, just like your body is so relaxed right now.
“You can feel your thoughts dissolve in the heat, and it’s alright for that to happen. You don’t need thoughts when my words are there to guide you, when you are in this soft, safe place with me. Just feel that nice, warm sunlight sink in, replacing all your thoughts with a soft, blissful light.
“I’m going to count from ten to one, and with every number, you’ll feel more and more of your thoughts fade in that simple, pleasant warmth, and when I reach one, you will have no thoughts left, only warmth, and peace, and my words pulling you down where it’s quiet and calm.”
Matt searched Frank for any resistance, something as small as a twitch would have made him pause, rethink his plan. But Frank was calm, totally lax before him, and seemed to have no more reservations.
“Ten...feel that warmth penetrating, dissipating all your thoughts, all your worries and cares…
“Nine...Just a little deeper now, loosening up the tension in your head, like a mental massage, like a hot bath…
“Eight...Warm and safe, happy and relaxed, with my words guiding you as you float down, down….”
Frank sighed. He almost wanted to roll over and fall asleep, but this was better than sleep, and his limbs felt so heavy and cozy. He was barely thinking anymore, just experiencing that placid, restful state.
“Seven...You may find yourself drifting away from my words a little bit, just floating in this sunny space without any thoughts or cares. And that’s alright. You can listen passively, let my words just flow through your mind. No need to cling to them, your subconscious mind will hear them no matter what. So just relax as I count down to six...All your thoughts are melting away, like butter in a pan, and it feels so nice to not worry about anything at all…
“Five...Thoughts drifting away, mind drifting away, and it feels so nice to let go….”
Matt caught a telltale scent on the air, heard shifting of cotton against denim. Frank was hard.
Interesting. But not something he planned to address, at least not in this session.
“Four...Feeling safe, calm, easy with me so easy to relax, to drift…
“Three...No thoughts, no worries, everything’s so warm and simple…
“Two...Almost there, the warmth has penetrated deep, deep into your mind, wiped away all but a few straggling thoughts. And you can’t wait for me to let you get to that last number, you can’t wait to be completely mindless for me, completely relaxed…
“And...one. Totally mindless, totally loose and calm and so, so peaceful. There isn’t a thought left in your mind, only warmth and happiness, and my words. Good, Frank, good boy.”
Okay, maybe he could indulge Frank a little with a familiar pet name. That scent in the air of endorphin release, of desire, combined with the knowledge that Frank was totally mindless, totally relaxed, had put himself at Matt’s mercy because his trust was so strong, did things to Matt. Made him feel strong, powerful. Matt didn’t think it would affect him the way it did, didn’t think it would happen at all, really, but as intoxicating as it was, he wouldn’t dream of touching Frank, taking advantage of him in that state without consent.
Frank’s head was complete slush at this point. All his thoughts were just gone, and behind his eyes, he didn’t see dead men, or his family, or blood and fire and pain. He only saw that warm light, only felt peace and heat and comfort. Matt’s words were all he had, the only sensory input he was at all aware of. And Matt was right, letting go felt amazing. He was drifting in that safe place Matt kept talking about, just existing, and he couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so light and free. He couldn’t remember anything at all, besides to listen to Matt, and to enjoy that euphoric tranquility. Then he heard Matt praise him, call him a good boy, and he couldn’t quite make the connection that it was going straight to his dick, or that he was harder than a rock. All he knew was that he felt fantastic, and wanted to hear that praise again.
Matt choked on his own breath when Frank groaned and squirmed, seemingly unaware of his own actions. He had been in trace for twenty minutes and he was already writhing, and Matt hadn’t even really done anything to him. It was downright obscene, the way Frank burned, the way he smelled and sounded. Matt needed to wake him up soon so they could talk this out.
“I like that you’re enjoying yourself, Frank, you’ve done very well. I’m proud of you, and how good you are for me.” Frank shivered and his hips rocked of their own volition, their owner still lost in his own mind. “I’m going to end this trance soon, but before I do, I want to tell you a few things, and I want you to remember them. Nod if you understand.”
Frank was attached to his body by the tiniest thread at this point, but he found it in him to do as Matt said. Matt’s words were all he could hear, Matt’s words were practically law, and he wanted to keep being good for Matt.
“Good. Now when you wake up, I want you to remember how good this feels, and how easy it is to go into trance and listen to my words. I want you to remember how warm and heavy and relaxed you are for me, and how nice it is not to have any thoughts swirling around in your mind, bogging you down.”
Frank stopped squirming so much at Matt’s words, brought back to the cozy, content part of his trance.
“In addition, I’m going to give you a trigger, a phrase that I might say, and if I say it, you can come back to this relaxed, peaceful state immediately. It’ll only work if you want it to, of course, only if you’re safe and you want to feel this way again. It’ll just be a faster way to get to this comfortable, happy state of mind. Is that alright?”
“Yeah,” Frank exhaled. “S’good.”
“Good, good boy.” Matt pretended not to hear the gasp, the way Frank’s fingers twitched at the praise. “In that case, when I say ‘Drop Deep,’ when you’re awake, you can return to this state in the future. What’s your trigger, Frank?”
“...Drop...deeep….”
“That’s right. Drop. Deep.” Matt snapped his fingers, mouth going dry at the way Frank sighed and did as commanded, even when he hadn’t been woken up. “Good, just like that. And every time I tell you to Drop.” snap. “Deep.” snap. “You will fall twice as deep into trance, going even further than you were before, even more calm and mindless.”
Frank had gone still again, his jaw slack. The floating sensations, that feeling of falling deeper into trance, was almost dizzying, but it felt so good to listen to Matt, felt good to be good.
“Now, I’m going to count you up to five, and at five, you can wake up. When you’re awake, we’ll take your new trigger for a practice run. Sound good?”
“...Yeah…”
“Good. Then we’ll start with one. Feel yourself starting to rise up out of trance.
“Two. Feeling is beginning to return to your body, thoughts are starting to return to your mind.
“Three. Realize that you’re becoming more aware of your surroundings.” Frank’s eyes fluttered, his breath and pulse starting to return to normal.
“Four, almost awake, almost back to reality...and five, completely awake, aware, and refreshed.”
Frank’s eyes snapped open with a gasp, he sat up to reorient himself, blinking to adjust to the light. He gaped at Matt, gaped, and Matt couldn’t suppress the satisfied smirk. “How was it?”
“Goddamn,” Frank muttered, running a hand through his hair. “That was fuckin’ amazing, Matty. How the hell…?”
“Do you remember what we were going to do?” Matt asked gently, desperately hoping Frank would be okay with it in his normal state of mind.
“...Yeah,” Frank said, a little breathless, heart speeding up. He was nervous, but not afraid anymore. Excited. “You can...you can try it. If you want.”
And God, how Matt wanted. He paused long enough for Frank’s train of thought to wander, waited til Frank’s gaze shifted away.
“Frank?”
Frank looked back to him, jittery, expecting the words but caught off guard by his own nerves.
Snap. “Drop.” Snap. “Deep.” Snap.
Frank shuddered, his eyes fell shut and he started to flop over, a doll with his strings cut. If not for Matt’s reflexes, he would have sprawled out on the floor, but instead he fell gently into Matt’s arms. “That’s it, drop deep into trance for me, down, down, down into that lovely, easy place, so deep in trance.” Matt’s voice was a whisper, he didn’t want to startle Frank, though he doubted he could be easily roused at this point. “Good boy, Frank, I’ve got you. So good for me.” Frank whimpered, whimpered, and Matt almost thought he’d lose it.
“That was just a test, Frank. We tested your trigger, and you did so well. Now, I’m going to count you back up for real this time, and I won’t put you in this state again without warning, alright?”
Frank mumbled an affirmative, nuzzling further into Matt’s chest. Seemed like he thrived on being touched in this state, when he usually liked to control the physical contact otherwise, practically manhandling Matt when they were intimate. Matt kissed the top of his head again, he couldn’t help but adore the way Frank gave himself over so fully, and in response the man sagged against Matt, a boneless, relaxed puddle of Punisher.
“One, feel sensation coming back to you.
“Two, your thoughts are back and they’re completely your own.
“Three, becoming aware of your surroundings again.
“Four, almost back to normal.
“And five. Wide awake, refreshed, and relaxed.”
Frank sighed against Matt this time, a little more aware of what was coming, the feeling of being brought back up. He didn’t pull away immediately, snaking his hands up to Matt’s face. When he did pull away, Matt felt like he was being revered, the way Frank looked at his face, breath seemingly caught in his throat.
“Enjoyed yourself?” Matt asked, only to have lips pressed to his own.
Frank was flushed when he pulled away. “Matt, that was incredible. What the hell are you doing in law, when you could be making people feel like that all day?”
Laughter burst out of Matt. “It’s all just different kinds of persuasion, if you think about it. I guess I just have a good voice for it. It helps to have a subject as eager and willing as you.”
Frank looked away then, pulled back just a little. He and Matt seemed to realize at the same time that he was still hard. “I, um. I didn’t know that would happen.” Frank’s hand went to the back of his head, a nervous tic that only came up when he was really embarrassed.
“I didn’t expect it, but I should have warned you of the possibility. I’m sorry, it isn’t your fault.”
“No, Matt, Baby, don’t apologize. I loved it, I can’t remember the last time I was that--”
“...Happy?” Matt finished.
“Happy. Peaceful. Hell, I think that was the first time in years I didn’t feel like my head was in a damn guillotine. I just...didn’t expect that.” He waved at his lap, though the embarrassment had made him go soft. “I’d...be interested in doing it again sometime.”
“Yeah?” Matt asked. They’d need to discuss boundaries, of course, he had a lot to teach Frank about trance and how much it could do, but he was already excited to see Frank go soft and sweet for him again.
“How could I not?” Frank asked, pulling Matt close to him. His limbs were still loose, relaxed. A weight had been lifted, Matt could feel it right down to the languorous, lighthearted way Frank kissed him. “Your voice is the best damn drug I’ve ever had.”