New Beginnings

Two weeks later, Clint and Lily stand in front of the entrance to Stark Tower; with two suitcases filled with all of their few possessions and a lot of hopes and nervous anxiety in tow.

So, they’re really doing this.

Clint can think of 50+ reasons why this is essentially a bad idea, but none of them seem to outweigh the fact that he wants to live with his friends and is 99% sure Lily was being honest when she agreed to give it a try.

Regardless, his girl’s opinion to this whole ordeal is the pivotal factor to its outcome, so in the roughly 30 seconds they have left until JARVIS opens the doors and acknowledges everyone of their arrival, he makes sure that she knows that, too.

“If you don’t want to do this after some time, or if you’re feeling uncomfortable, or if you’re not getting along with them; just tell me. We don’t have to stay, there’s always a home for us back at SHIELD.”

Usually, Lily replays to this sort of fatherly overprotectiveness with a cheeky remark or a playful eyeroll, so the quiet nod is a dead giveaway that she’s nervous, too. Clint isn’t exactly sure if he is concerned or consoled by this fact, but it helps him to shake off some of his own antsy energy. He’s the responsible adult here, and most of the time he almost believes it when he calls himself that.

The doors slide open. No turning back now.

The hall is empty, like most of the time, and Clint ushers his gaping daughter to the elevators.

“Dad” Lily whispers urgently although nobody is there, “This place is massive.”

Clint can hardly blame her for her astonishment. The first time he set foot into this place, he thought it was a goddamn set of a rich kid movie. He can’t wait to see her face when he tells her that they will have a whole floor to themselves.

“Good afternoon, Agent Barton, Miss Barton.” Lily almost jumps out of the elevator again, but Clint pulls her back, laughing. “You could have given us a warning, JARVIS.”

“Apologies, Agent Barton.”

Clint looks down at his daughter and has to laugh again, this time because of the priceless expression on her face.

“Dad, you’re talking to an elevator. And it’s answering.” On second thought, maybe he should have given her some warning what to expect at Stark Tower.

“JARVIS is an AI, Tony built him. He basically runs the tower.”

“Oh. Hi, JARVIS! Nice to meet you.”

“My pleasure, Miss Barton.”

“So… electronic butler controlling our whole living environment, too crazy for you?”

Clint dearly hopes not, because all things considered, JARVIS is one of the tamer things she might encounter in the tower.

Lily just grins, so big that her dimples are showing.

The elevator stops at the main living area, where everyone (alright, almost everyone, for Thor is still somewhere in distant galaxies) is gathered, trying to act all natural and failing. Steve is actually holding his book upside-down. Smooth, Captain.

Realizing that they’re all just as nervous fills Clint with immense relief.

Well, not all of them. Natasha’s casually sitting at the breakfast-bar, looking calm and collected. Lily spots her immediately and abandons the hiding position behind him (which she had gotten in, as soon as the doors had opened) and runs towards the spy.

Thank heaven for Natasha Romanoff.

Nat beams in a way that is solely reserved for Lily and they exchange hearty greetings.

Clint is really bloody glad that Natasha is there. He’s really bloody glad to have Natasha, in general.

So it doesn’t even matter that he’s standing with all of their stuff at the open elevator door, and is abandoned by the person he’d been dying to introduce. It really doesn’t matter. This isn’t so much about him, as it is about Lily.

And Lily seems to be immensely happy to see her auntie.

Clint exhales slowly, feeling the nervousness leave him a bit. They’d be fine, either way.

Steve and Tony watch in stunned silence at the exchange between the little girl and the usually very stoic (and very SCARY, as Tony liked to put it) agent. There’s quiet cluttering coming from the kitchen. Bruce is busy making magic, then.

Before things could get too out of hand- because the ladies were evidently already planning their afternoon and the rest of the bunch sat around quite awkwardly, Clint decides to make use of his fatherly authority.

“Ladies, just a second” To his astonishment, their chatter stopped (must be the presence of other people, normally Nat and Lily were as thick as thieves when it came to ‘disobeying’ him. Not that he minded). All eyes were on him now, expecting.

Well.

Wouldn’t have hurt to plan ahead.

Oh, well.

“Everyone, meet Lily. Lils, this is the gang.”

Tony snorted, to everybody’s immense relief. “You make it sound like we’re a boyband, Katniss.”

Trust Tony Stark to make an uncomfortable situation more comfortable. He was born to be a host, now that he gotten over the first shock of seeing Lily (and watching Nat being NOT SCARY).

“Naturally, I must be the pretty one, then,” he continues, flashing Lily his biggest grin, and a small wink. As anticipated, the girl giggles quietly, already warming up to the situation. Somewhere behind him, Steve groans good-naturedly.

It was hard not to like Tony, when he was being his funny, charming self.

‘It’s hard not to like Tony, in general,’ Clint suddenly thinks, but stops that train of thought immediately.

“I’m the one and only Tony Stark, madame, welcome to my tower.” Tony bows a little in front of Lily, and she offers him a shy smile in return.

So far, so good.

“I’m Bruce,” the smooth, warm voice of the scientist wavers in from the kitchen. “And I’m making raspberry tards, they should be ready in time for some afternoon tea” He sticks his head out and nods at Lily. “If you guys are amendable.”

So far, so better. Recently, Bruce had picked up baking as a hobby, finding that it ‘calmed his nerves and was deeply satisfying’. The Tower had been stocked up with baked goods every other day ever since.

“Excellent!” Tony announces, before anybody has the chance to say something. “Would you like a little tour, around the tower?”

Lily looks up at her dad (who came over to lean at the breakfast bar to appear casual, but in reality, is just making sure his little princess isn’t feeling overwhelmed) and he nods, encouragingly. “Go ahead, then. I’ll get those bags sorted meanwhile.” He ruffles her hair affectionately. It feels strange being watched while interacting with his daughter.

Clint feels a wave of insecurity grip him. What if they judge him? What if they think he’s a bad father? What if he is? But Lily looks at him, grateful for the familiar contact, and some of the pressure around his heart loosens. They’re fine.

Lily then eyes her auntie and asks in a quiet tone that Clint immediately recognizes as her ‘shy tone’ if Tasha could come along, too.

While Natasha claps and states that that’s a “Fantastic idea, little fox!”, Tony looks a bit terrified that they’re gonna team up against him (let’s face it, they already are). Nat pokes Tony in the ribs for good measure, and Tony honest to God squeaks.

In this happy tumult, Steve takes his chance to introduce himself properly. He and Lily even shake hands, all formally.

“I’m Steve, it’s nice to meet you, Lily.”

She just stares at him, thinking very intently. Suddenly, her face lights up in recognition. “You’re the guy from the posters! Dad! The posters from all over SHIELD? It’s him! Wow!” (of course, Lily knows what her father does. Of course, she knows that these people are superheroes, recognized all over the world for fighting evil. Yet, they seem so different from the people she sometimes sees on TV (not that she is allowed to watch the news without supervision) now, sitting around in their living room).

Clint has a hard time suppressing his laughter while explaining to Steve that his god-awful Captain America promo-shots where plastered all over the SHIELD living quarters, with uplifting motivational texts underneath. He was pretty sure it had been Maria Hill’s idea. He almost looses his shit when Lily asks Steve to sign one of the posters she did bring along.

While Tony makes a show out of showing Lily around; Steve helps Clint to bring the bags to their floor. Clint realizes he has never been alone with Steve before and suddenly wonders why. There was something nice and comforting about Steve Rogers, something that was unlike his stern Captain America- persona. Clint realizes that he can now hang out with Steve more- with all of them for that matter-and this fills him with a deep, warm happiness.

When they enter the floor and Clint sees that Tony has installed a shooting range just for him, he is overcome by a strong emotion. When they carry Lily’s bag to the room that will be hers, Clint has to lean against the doorframe and take a couple of calming breaths.

“It’s a lot, huh?”

Steve gets it.

Clint just nods, and fears that if he’d talk now he might burst into tears. He had anticipated that it would be different. He hadn’t anticipated how much he would feel, how touched he would be; but here he is and the full realization what it means to live in the Stark Tower crashes down on him.

Nonetheless, he tries to find his voice. “She’s never had a room of her own. It’s just- I could never give her-“

And Steve just nods, and Clint doesn’t have to explain it, because Steve comes from a modest background, too; Steve gets it.

They just take it in, for a long moment; and then Steve breaks it, gently, by taking Clint to unpack his stuff in his own bedroom.

Clint is grateful for a friend like Steve.

Afternoon tea is divine, Bruce really outdid himself with that delicious raspberry tards. The atmosphere is light and friendly. Lily totally forgets to be shy when she talks about playing with DUM-E and the sheer massiveness of the tower; using animated gestures to carry her point across. It fills Clint with a deep joy to see his daughter so carelessly happy, now completely at ease with this situation. The prospect to make this all work is really, really awesome. He hopes he doesn’t have to let it go.

Looking around, he realizes with pride that everyone seems to be delighted by his girl. And although she now has a whole audience to listen to her wild ideas of how to transform the tower in one big playground for her, it’s the small moments where she catches his eyes and smiles, or turns to him and almost squishes his hand, because “Dad, did you even consider the POSSIBILITIES of playing tag around the tower?!”. He smiles and encourages her playfully, and is about ready to combust from affection. What his life would be like without Lily, he doesn’t even want to imagine.

He isn’t as paranoid of revealing this new side of himself to his friends as he had been. It still feels weird to be in Dad-mode when around the Avengers, solely because he had to keep these two personalities separate for so long. To his relief, he realizes that Dad-Clint and Friend-Clint are essentially the same person. Lily helps too, though, by interacting with him like she did at SHIELD, making him feel like it doesn’t really matter where they are, that he would always be her dad. It’s a worry he didn’t really know he had until it was lifted off his chest. It was silly to think like that. He had been the best pick at SHIELD, but talent and offerings-wise, he clearly wasn’t the best pick of the Avengers. Maybe he had been scared, just a tiny little bit, that she would like them more than him, and that would leave him with, what? He doesn’t want to think about it. And he doesn’t have to, damnit, because that’s not how any of this works. So, while they clear the table- and Bruce and Lily engage in a very passionate conversation about chocolate chip cookies- Clint sighs inaudible, and vows to take a page out of Nat’s book. She’s right; he’s working himself up over nothing.

Just before dinner- to celebrate their arrival, there’ll be a pizza party- Clint takes Lily up to their floor, to show her their new home. The others have backed off a bit to give them some privacy, and for that Clint is actually grateful. This moment is big for him, bigger than he can admit to himself. He was never able to give Lily much in the material department. Lily is in high spirits, because she just successfully beat Steve in five out of five chess matches (Steve heroically let her win the first time. The other four times, he got his ass served on a silver plate). But when they enter the floor, she gets quiet.

“Alright?” Clint asks, resting a warm hand on her shoulder.

She swallows. “Yeah. Just. It’s a lot, isn’t it?”

“I know. A good a lot, yeah?”

This time, she starts to smile. “Yeah”, she agrees. “Thanks, dad” she adds, as an afterthought.

“Technically, Tony owns this place-“ he starts, while pushing her in the direction of her room. “But, since it is generally known that I am awesome, I take it”

She giggles and shoves him playfully but stops dead when she realizes that they are now standing in her room.

Clint feels his own heart leaping in his throat, when he watches her eyes get bigger and bigger while taking it all in. It’s a plain room, but nicely furnished, and with enough space to add her personal touch to it.

“Wow” she breathes, after a minute of silence.

“It still needs a little work, but you can do whatever you want with this place. It’s all yours”

She doesn’t speak, she just paces the length of the room, toching every surface- to soft comforter on the bed, the wooden texture of the cupboards, the fluttery material of the curtains. Clint leans against the doorway and just watches her. When she arrives at the center of the room, she turns to him, and she smiles like the sun. Clint has always thought of her as his little ray of sunshine, and right now he feels like her face is like a summer day- all bright, and light, and happy.

And then Lily runs- and practically leaps- into his arms, to lock him in a hug that almost knocks him to the ground.

“Saranghaeyo, Dad” (ko: I love you). Her voice is muffled by the fabric of his shirt, but Clint can hear her loud and clear. His heart swells a little more, and he hugs her tighter.

“Nando Saranghaeyo, honey” (ko: I love you too) he murmurs against her hair, before placing a kiss on her forehead.

“Agent Barton? May I inform you that dinner is ready”

The smooth British voice of JARVIS startles them out of their emotional moment, and they laugh a bit about their own sappiness.

“C’mon, piggyback ride”

Lily, who was still clinging to him like a little monkey, squeals, and skillfully climbs onto his back (the perks of growing up at the circus).

Long after dinner that night, Clint stands in his very own bedroom, and lets out a breath. The day had been going way better than he had imagined. With a giddy feeling in his limps, he noted that they might finally did find the home that their little family needed.

It feels strange not having Lily around to keep him company. They shared a room at SHIELD and always spent their evenings together. Clint doesn’t really know what to do with himself, now that Lily isn’t planning activities for both of them. He kind of misses it already.

He wanders the room a little aimlessly; sitting on the bed, standing up again. Just as he considers to change out of his sweatpants into some proper work-out gear and head to the range or the gym, there’s a knock on his door.

He knows immediately who it is. His heart makes a little happy leap.

“Hey, Lils”, he murmurs gently. Her hair is tousled and loose from her pony tail, and there’s a book under her arm. She looks a tad sheepish.

Clint closes the door behind her, and both settle against the headboard of his bed. The familiar company is instantly calming for both of them.

“We didn’t finish the chapter yesterday” It’s Lily’s way of saying that she misses him without actually saying it. It’s fine, in fact it’s perfect, it works for them.

“Well, we can’t leave it at that, can we?” he agrees, while opening the latest book of interest, a collection of detective stories. Although they were aimed at children, Clint found himself appreciating their humor and being drawn in by the exciting cases. He had never been read to as a child, and it feels is like a great opportunity to re-live this lost experience.

“Do you want to read, or shall I?” Sometimes, Lily is eager to read for them, making Clint almost  detonate with fatherly pride.

“You do it” she speaks softly, already settling heavy against his shoulder, in a way that she could look at the words as they progressed along the page. It was a slow pace, considering his lower than average reading skills, but Lily never had minded their leisured progress. It makes Clint feel less of a failure. Less stupid.

About three pages in, JARVIS pipes up again.

“Mr. Barton, Miss Barton, may I inform you that sir is standing in front of your door at this very moment, asking for entrance. He happens to be carrying some hot chocolate”

To say that Clint was surprised, might be the understatement of the century.

The one and only Tony Stark; offering even more hospitality than he already offered all day. Somewhere deep down, Clint always did know that Tony had a good heart; but it was easy to miss it behind all the layers of arrogance and sneer.

“What do you think, hm?” he eyes Lily, who’s still slumped against his shoulder, watching him with attentive eyes. “Shall we let Tony in?”

“He brought hot coco” she replies solemnly, as if Tony just made an offer she couldn’t refuse (Clint made a mental note to tone down her sugar intake for the next day, considering that today went pretty wild with it. At least, he vowed himself to try, being the splendid parent that he is).

Just as Clint debated with himself if he should get out of bed, to greet their visitor properly, the door opens with a soft click.

The shirt Tony wore had cartoony robots on it (his bed attire, apparently. If the genius ever did go to bed) was more adorable than it had any right to be. The man in the shirt was closely behind in adorable-ness (not that Clint would ever admit he was having such thoughts), and the hot chocolate did smell really really good.

“Warm welcome from the kitchen” the engineer smiles sheepishly and something inside Clint’s stomach stirs.

Their fingers brush when Tony hands over the hot beverage and the stirring turns into a violent flip. Tony must have felt Clint flinch in surprise, because he suddenly looks slightly flustered. Red is a very becoming color for him, Clint notes, before forcefully dragging his mind away from this direction.

“Thanks, Tony. Really appreciate it”

He elbows Lily in the rips, who is already inhaling the sweet liquid. “Thanks” she adds passionately around the rim of the cup. “It’s really good”

“It’s a special recipe. Google is your friend,” the millionaire’s eyes twinkle. Clint is surprised for the second time that night, considering he had been almost 100% sure Tony just pestered Steve or Bruce to make the hot chocolate; knowing that he made it himself….

Well.

Here comes the stomach flips.

“Alright then” Tony scratches his neck, looking more timid than he ever looked in all those years that Clint had known him. Somehow, he feels like he’s about to get to know the real Tony Stark while living here; the one that isn’t hiding behind countless armors. The thought shouldn’t make him this excited.

“I didn’t want to interrupt, so I better get going-“

“We were just getting started” Lily interrupts him (ha). She gestures to the book. “You can listen, too. Dad doesn’t mind” Clint really shouldn’t be surprised by how quickly Lily seemed to have found a liking in Tony; she was easily persuaded when food was involved.

“Right, Dad?” Clint can’t help but feel the intense gaze filled with… something that Tony has been given him all day, whenever they interact. He knows some part of Tony is analyzing this new side of him, but he finds that he doesn’t really mind it, if it’s Tony.

“Lils, file him in on the details” he answers, scooting over a bit, so there’s enough room for Tony on Lily’s other side (and that he can look into the book as well, something that Lily finds essential during readings).

While Lily starts rattling off about the mystery the detective inspector finds himself in, Tony eyes the domestic scene before him for another 30 seconds or so, undoubtly trying to insert himself into the picture. Clint looks up and their eyes meet. There’s a softness to Tony’s gaze which he has never seen before.

He looks almost…nervous about entering this private, intimate space with them. If he’s being honest with himself, Clint’s nervous, too. It’s not like they never shared moments like these with other people but sharing them with Tony makes him feel vulnerable. He isn’t sure if Tony would judge him for being… slow (he didn’t deem it necessary to share his lack of education with his friends), or if Tony would somehow… disapprove of his parenting skills (not that Tony was an expert on parenting 1o1, Clint couldn’t really explain why it was Tony’s opinion that he cared about so much).

Thinking about these complex emotions makes the archer drop his gaze to the page. He feels silly, all of a sudden. Why would Tony want to stay, anyway? He was an engineer, he owned a company, he was a genius. Surely, he had more important stuff to do and places to be. Not listening to a moron reading detective stories for kids.

When Tony actually settles into a sitting position on the bed, it seems like he surprise both of them with it. Clint looks up, and their eyes meet and… wow, that’s-

“Daaad, c’mooon. I want to know how he solves it!”

Right. The book.

Clint takes a deep breath, and mentally prepares himself for being humiliated. “Alright, where were we?”

Lily happily continues to inhale her hot chocolate, satisfied at the progress of things.

The first few lines are awkward, and Clint feels the words slipping from him. But neither Lily, nor Tony seem to notice (or they are being polite about it), and after a while the knot in his tongue eases a bit. He’s still slow, and there are still words he has to pronounce extra careful; but he tries to make up for it with doing the voices of the different characters just how Lily likes it. One chapter turns into two as the evening progresses; and on the last page, Clint realizes that Lily is slumped against his side, fast asleep.

He throws a quick glance at Tony and sees that the engineer is resting against the headboard with his eyes closed. He looks more content than Clint has ever seen him before. He likes this version of Tony, very much. The version that isn’t sarcastic, and aloof, and drunk.

Instead of breaking the moment, the archer finishes the last page, before closing the book quietly.

At the change, Tony opens his eyes slowly, and their eyes meet again over Lily’s head. Clint’s heart is immediately thumbing wildly and a warm feeling of.. . something is spreading through his body. Suddenly, his arms feel tingly, and nervous. To busy himself, he takes a sip of his mostly ignored hot chocolate.

He moans quietly. It’s fucking fantastic.

“It doesn’t make sense”

Clint almost chokes on his next sip. He panics, thinking that they arrived at the part of the evening, where Tony tells him that he is a crap father and that he shouldn’t be Lily’s guardian.

“How the hell did he find the murder by the color of his shoelace? How is that even possible? I gotta do research about this”

Something inside of Clint crumbles.

The book. Tony’s talking about the book.

The book of which’s reading he sat patiently through, even though Clint is… well, Clint.

Oh, crap. Don’t fall in love with that guy now, don’t make it fucking complicated now. Just. Don’t.

The archer stands up hurriedly and silently begs that Tony didn’t notice his face heating up. This is absolutely not happening right now.

“’m tucking her in” he mumbles and picks his softly snoring daughter up. Lily still likes being carried (and being tucked in), occasionally, although it is such an “uncool” thing to do. Ten is a curious age; she has the attitude of a teenager, but still allows herself to be awed by the world like children do. Clint really hopes she keeps that sense of wonder.

She wakes up a little bit when Clint sets her down on the bed, but only stirs to wrap her arms loosely around his neck for a second.

“G’night, Dad” She slurs, voice already heavy with sleep.

“Good night, honey. Sleep tight” Clint feels her arms loosen around his neck, so he kisses her forehead and leaves the room.

When he returns to his own bedroom, Tony is gone. Clint feels like he really shouldn’t be disappointed, but he is. He chides himself immediately. Tony had no reason to stay. Tony was just being polite. Clint’s just being silly, thinking there might be… something, when there is clearly nothing.

Nope.

Nothing at all.

When he has settled underneath the sinfully soft duvet, he turns to the nightstand to turn off the light. His hand brushes the book of detective stories, and there is a note attached to it.

Clint’s stomach does a violent flip when he picks it up to read it. His hand is shaking so much, he needs several attempts to make out the messily scribbled lines.

‘Thanks for the evening.

T.S.’

Clint reads it three times. He doesn’t even realize he’s smiling like the cat who got the canary, until he makes a motion to wipe over his face.

Oh, crap.

Even after the lights are long off, and the note is safely stored in the drawer of his nightstand, Clint is still smiling stupidly to himself.

Maybe he’s falling for Tony Stark, but only a tiny little bit.

And maybe it’s okay, only a tiny little bit.