Two
It was well after midnight when Loki decided to leave the party. He had already endured noise and wine beyond what he could. The festivity, of course, continued with the same fervor as when it had begun, perhaps more. People used to be more euphoric and less ashamed after several glasses of wine and hydromel.
Loki was halfway to his quarters when he heard the sound of footsteps behind him. It didn't take much effort to know who they belonged to. Loki stopped to wait for Thor, he was a bit curious as to why his brother had come after him.
Thor looked a little embarrassed when he found Loki waiting for him. Loki was leaning against the wall, arms folded and a small smile on his lips.
"Did you lose something, Thor?"
"I just found it," Thor said, smiling. There was a moment of silence between them, and Thor realized that Loki was waiting for him to say something. Obviously, Thor had not planned any elaborate excuse to justify having followed Loki. To be honest, Thor did not even notice that he had followed Loki out of the party until he saw Loki standing in the empty hallway. "You will leave the party so early?
It was all Thor could think of to say.
"Early, brother?" Loki snorted and walked away from the wall, continuing the way to his room. "The celebration took all day and now night. As much as I want to continue to participate in your joy, I need rest.
“…I understand,” Thor muttered and began to follow Loki. “What are you going to do now?”
Loki almost laughed at the silly question, the answer was obvious. But in the name of the unsaid truce and the pleasant last hours they shared, Loki chose not to use sarcasm. Loki was still curious to find out what Thor wanted with him.
"I'll prepare a potion that will prevent me from having a terrible headache tomorrow morning, and then I'll go to my bed."
"That sounds good, can we share?" Thor thought it funny how Loki's forehead creased. "The potion, I mean.
"Are not you coming back to your party?" Loki's voice was soft. He watched Thor closely.
"No. It's been a long day here. Rest would be good.”
Thor knew he was being very pushy and he knew Loki was not a fool. Thor even imagines the gears spinning in Loki's brain. By now, of course, Loki had already noticed Thor's behavior around him. And, probably, Thor thought, Loki would already have imagined all possible reasons why Thor was acting like this. Loki always expected the worst of them all. He always saw ulterior motives in everything. Who could blame him? Loki has his reasons.
Thor didn't care about the possible sordid reasons that Loki might be imagining. Thor just wanted to stay a little longer in his company. He just wanted to make sure Loki would not die while he was distracted.
"Very well," Loki said with a sigh. “Come with me.”
And so it was that while all of Asgard was still celebrating, Loki finished the evening preparing a potion under the watchful eye of his brother. Sometimes Thor asked or said something, taking care not to distract Loki from his task.
Loki was a mixture of happiness and mistrust. He had not seen Thor so close and so kind to him for a long time. Loki was happy about it, but he was not a fool. He was enjoying Thor's attention, but part of him remained on constant alert. Loki still did not know what it was, but there was something wrong with Thor.
If they asked Loki when he started to hate his brother, he could not give an exact answer. Because there was not a specific day, nor a particular event that caused the change. It was a succession of things that happened day by day, and over time the resentment was poisoning his heart. Nor was it Thor's fault at first. It was the other people.
People were always privileging Thor and despising Loki, which made the admiration that Loki had for his brother turning into envy. Then Thor's own arrogant and reckless behavior had done the rest of the work.
Thor was becoming increasingly irresponsible and a braggart. Loki did not understand how Odin and the other people did not notice that Thor was not ready to govern Asgard. Thor with all his wild impulsivity was not even able to control his own fury, how would he avoid conflict between the Nine Kingdoms?
Besides, if Loki was sincere, his anger at Thor involved more than the right to the throne, there was a very personal and intimate aspect. It was not only envy that he felt of Thor, but also jealousy.
Loki began to feel as if he were just one more desiring the attention of the crown prince. He did not want this to himself. Loki was also a prince of Asgard, he too was born to be king. He deserved the same glory, attention, and respect that was offered to Thor.
Loki didn't want to continue to submit to and endure all the foolishness of Thor in exchange for crumbs of attention. Loki was not just another in the crowd of worshipers of Thor, he was his brother.
Loki was also the most important person for Thor. He deserved a special place in Thor's affection. As a brother, Loki had this right. But Thor began to ignore him and began to pay more attention to his friends, the beautiful women, and his admirers.
Loki was never good to share anything he thought belonged to him, not even his brother. It might sound stingy, but it was the truth.
With so many sycophants around him, Thor seemed to no longer need his young brother. After all, who was Loki to deserve some recognition? Simply the one who was the first to love and admire Thor. Pathetic! Just thinking about it, anger bubbled inside Loki and the venom threatened to close his throat.
"Everything all right, brother?" Thor called. "It seems like a storm is brewing over your head."
Loki looked up from the potion, pushing those thoughts away from his mind.
"It's nothing, brother. Silly things of the past.”
Thor looked at him with admiring eyes. The same look he had when Loki showed him his first spell, hundreds of years ago. It was just a trick to conjure up some colorful lights, child's play, but Thor vibrated and smiled as if Loki had conjured a dragon in the yard.
“I'm finishing it.” Loki finished stirring the liquid and dumped it into two ceramic cups. He took the two glasses, went to the couches arranged facing each other in the middle of his room, and handed one of the glasses to Thor. Thor was grateful to receive his and made a funny face when he took the first sip. Loki smiled and sat down.
"It's..." Thor stared at the greenish liquid trying to find a suitable word. “Strong.”
"Yes. It does not taste very good, but tomorrow you will not feel nauseous or have a headache. But you have to drink everything.”
Thor nodded and continued to drink the potion. Loki smiled at the grimaces his brother was making.
There was a way to soften the taste, two small mint leaves. But Loki had ‘forgotten’ to add them to Thor's glass. His brother's face was the best.
"How can you drink that?"
"I've gotten used to the taste," Loki lied.
As they laughed and Loki amused himself with his innocent little play, Loki felt a wave of affection spread through his body. Loki feel tender and warm, and he thought he could hug Thor right now.
“Hang on. I'll get some wine to get the bad taste out of our mouth.”
Loki first served Thor, then himself. They managed to finish the bottle of wine while they talked.
Loki never stopped loving Thor. Loki never ceased to feel joyous whenever Thor called him for an adventure, never stopped smiling for a smile of his brother. In the end, his love for Thor was always his weakness, however much he tried to hide it from everyone. It was this weakness that made Loki give up his plans to disrupt Thor's coronation and give his brother one more chance.
Loki was again orbiting this sun that was Thor. But this man before him was not Thor of the past years, it was an adult version of the boy Thor, who was always trying to be the hero of his little brother.
And there was this wonderful day, when Thor made promises to him, said kindly and kind things, and made a point of having him by his side throughout the party, not as an adornment or a flatterer for his ego, but as a companion, as an equal.
And here was Thor, in Loki's room, where he had not been for a long time, clearly avoiding going to his own room. Thor continued to bring matters into the conversation and to pay true attention to what Loki was saying, even though it was evident that the weight of sleep and wine were getting the better of him.
It took this day for Loki to remember how much he missed Thor. This kind and considerate Thor. But he knew he could not have Thor forever, that was foolish and childish thinking. Tomorrow, they would probably go back to their routine. Thor would go back to acting like an arrogant bastard and Loki would have only the memory of this pleasant day to make him hate every other day.
But tonight, at least tonight, they were friends again.
Thor must have dozed off in the middle of the conversation, because in a moment, Loki was in his armor, sitting on the couch in front of him, and when Thor opened his eyes, Loki was standing before him, dressed in black silk. The room lighting had dwindled drastically.
"You intend to sleep here?" Loki was tying his silk robe, covering the pale skin of his bare chest.
“Can I?” Thor stammered. He was half groggy, did not know if it was the effect of sleep and wine or if it was the sudden sight of Loki so close. “This sofa is suitable. If you do not mind.”
No, the sofa was not fitting. Especially for someone the size of Thor.
Loki had one hand on his hip, his forehead slightly wrinkled as he looked at Thor. Thor imagined that Loki was wondering if he should kick him out of the room.
“Sorry. I know you want to sleep.” Thor began to speak all apologetic. “Me too. I just... I think I'm a little scared.”
“Scared? Scared of what?”
Thor was afraid to sleep and the next day finds out that he was still on Earth with the Avengers, in a world where Loki and half of the universe no longer existed. Thor wanted to extend this time with Loki as much as he could, in case it was just his dream.
"To wake up and find out that this is all a dream."
First, Loki thought that Thor was referring to the day of his coronation, which would not be surprising, knowing Thor's arrogance. But something in the way Thor had said it made Loki think that Thor was referring to something else. Was Thor referring to the time they spent together? Loki did not want to give himself false hopes.
Thor looked sad and downcast again. And despite having laughed and been amused all day, Thor seemed... broken in some way. This was strange because as far as Loki remembered, Thor had nothing to complain about. Thor's life so far has been only joy, luck, and glory. Loki did not know what or who had caused this reaction in his brother.
Loki went back to his bed and pulled out one of the blankets and grabbed a cushion and carried them to Thor.
“Take it. To the couch. Get rid of this thing.” Loki pushed a finger against Thor's armor. "You will not sleep well with it."
Thor fumbled with all the locks and straps. “A little help?”
Loki rolled his eyes but helped him. This time, Thor did not look at him, on the contrary, he seemed to try to avoid eye contact.
As soon as Thor was out of his armor, Loki pulled away.
Loki slipped under his covers and closed his eyes. He pretends to sleep. He could feel Thor's eyes on him for several minutes until at last, he heard a movement on the couch and Thor's breathing was quiet. Thor had fallen asleep. Loki opened his eyes and leaned on his elbows to look at his brother asleep on the couch.
What's wrong with Thor?
.
.
“Loki!”
Loki awoke to hear Thor calling for him. Loki jumped out of bed on alert, and conjured his daggers magically, believing they are under attack or something, but he sees Thor squirming on the couch. Thor is still asleep.
"No, Thanos... Loki. Loki...”
Loki could not even remember when he last saw his brother having a nightmare. Loki walks over to Thor and tries to call him. Thor continues to mutter disgruntled words and whimper. Loki grabs him by the shoulder and tries to shake him.
“Thor. Thor, wake up!”
“Loki... Loki...”
"I'm here, brother. Wake up.”
Thor awakens suddenly, grabbing Loki's wrist hard enough to hurt. Loki lets out a groan of pain and only then does Thor seem to recognize him. Thor kisses Loki's hand and wrist, murmuring apologies. He squeezes Loki's hand against his face.
"Thanks to the Nornes, you're still here. I’m sorry. Sorry to hurt you, brother.”
Thor slides his arms around Loki's waist and hugs him. Loki feels the warm breath of Thor warm his navel through the fabric of his clothing. Loki's stomach turns, but not in a bad way, just... a strange, indecipherable sensation.
Hesitantly, Loki puts his hand on Thor's head and begins to caress his golden hair. Thor squeezes him closer and Loki feels his heart racing.
“Enough, Thor. It's all right. I am fine.”
Gradually, Thor releases him. Loki sits down beside him on the couch and waits until Thor seems less alarmed.
"Who is Thanos?"
"What?" Thor looks at him wide-eyed. Then he rubs his eyes with his hands. "Nobody. It was just a nightmare.
Thor is a lousy liar, but it's too late now, so Loki ignores him.
"Get up, come with me."
“Where?”
“You need to rest properly. You will not be able to sleep right lying here.”
Loki takes Thor to his bed not sure if this is really a good idea.
They both remained silent, not knowing if they should say more or just sleep.
"It used to be you to come to my bed after nightmares," said Thor after snuggling under the sheets. There was a space between him and Loki in bed. Loki was lying with his back to Thor.
"That was centuries ago. People change. Everything changes.”
“Yes... I hope this time for the better.”
After a few minutes, Thor pulls the blanket over Loki's shoulders, to keep him warmer. Loki moves to face Thor. Thor sees a movement under the sheets and realizes that it is Loki reaching out to him, getting closer. Thor holds Loki's hand to his chest.
"If you kick me while you sleep, I swear I'll throw you out of bed."
Thor laughed.
In a few seconds, they were both sleeping soundly.
.
Thor wakes up just before noon. He soon notices Loki's absence but does not become desperate. Thor knows he's still in his brother's room, and he can still smell Loki on the bed sheets. The clothes that Loki was wearing to sleep on a chair by the bed.
Thor hugged the pillow Loki was lying on and buried his face in it, taking a deep breath. He feels pleasure and tranquility as he inhales the perfume of Loki there.
Thor experiences a strangely good feeling. He decides to leave Loki's bedroom before he begins to feel other things beyond the strangeness.
Thor is relaxed and rested, despite the few hours of sleep. No headache. He makes a mental note to thank Loki for the potion later.
Thor goes to his own room to take a shower. He looks at himself in the mirror, his appearance changed. It's the same face from years ago. His two eyes are in place. His eyebrows are very clear again. There is no scar. And his hair is in shoulder height. He looks younger. Fortunately, he still keeps the maturity that won in recent years.
Thor begins to make a mental list of all the things he will have to deal with, such as the question of Hela, Malekith, the Avengers, Thanos. But for now, Loki's true fatherhood is at the top of the list. Thor assumes he has to start there.
Thor allows himself to relax. Even for a few minutes.
Loki is alive.
Your parents are alive.
Asgard is alive.
It was not a dream. The time really backed off.