"JARVIS, I thought you said there was a virus."
"A foreign agent, sir. One with intelligence attempting to collide with my systems."
"Looks pretty human to me."
"He is a human, sir. Scans indicate symptoms of shock."
"...shit. Okay, buddy, can you hear me?"
Len's not sure why he's hallucinating this of all things in his last moments, but he figures one of his favorite comic book heroes is better than picturing his baby sister's tears. Because he's dead. Or dying. Whichever way yah swing it, he's gone.
Something cold whirs as it pats his cheek. "Come on, open up. Hey," he says when Len opens his eyes, "You dropped out of a wormhole. Now last time that happened, things didn't go well. So I'm gonna needja to pull yourself together for an interrogation."
Yeah. Len'd recognize that suit and goatee anywhere. Len snorts and lets his head loll.
"Iron Man," he slurs, "Of course it's Iron Man." 'Cause it doesn't matter what he says. He's dead or dying.
"Always nice to meet a fan," Tony Stark quips.
"That's my line," Len mutters.
"Sorry buddy, but I haven't heard of you. That's kinda the problem here. JARVIS?"
"Breathing is returning to normal levels. I suggest keeping him talking, sir."
"That I can do. We can start with some questions, then. You got a name?"
Len looks back at him. Even the red and gold are pristine clear. His brain's really broke. Or blown up. Whatever.
"Leonard Snart."
Tony Stark's eyebrows rise. "No, really, what's your name?"
Len raises his eyebrow back.
"What, did your parents read comics?"
"Dunno what you mean." Even his lungs seem to work. Weird fever dream.
"So just a really funny coincidence then? Great, I love coincidences. Well, Mr. Unfortunate, Leonard Snart happens to be a comic book supervillain, oh-so-lovingly named Captain Cold and not-so-lovingly dressed in some terrible costumes. Seriously."
"Parka's practical," Len gripes, "Just hasn't been lately."
"...you wouldn't happen to be a really intense LARPer who knows his way around dimensional travel?"
Len marvels as his lungs continue to expand. "No."
"Didn't think so. Universe doesn't like to make funny jokes."
"So you ain't a LARPer either?"
Tony Stark's face scrunches. "Excuse me, nobody can pull this," gesturing to himself, "off like I can."
"Then I'm staring at the real Iron Man and not a comic book."
"...okay, I'm gonna need explanations."
Len feels the floor underneath him. Smells coffee. The light of Iron Man's arc reactor kinda hurts his eyes.
Hurts.
Len shoots up. A repulsor's stuck in his face.
"Wouldn't make any sudden moves," Tony Stark, Tony Stark, says tightly. "You tried to invade my AI's processors, and when he shoved you out, you dropped right in my living room. I'm a little past reasonable doubt."
Len gives him a once-over. He says in his best drawl, "You're really Tony Stark."
Tony's eyes narrow. "Why do you sound like you didn't plan to be here?"
"'Cause I didn't." Len looks to the windows. New York City, much the same but for a noticeable absence of a Wayne tower. Those things are practically in every city, especially here. Or should be.
Same, but different.
"I'm on another Earth," Len says slowly.
"Oh great," Tony says.
Five minutes of short explanations later, Tony's got a glass of whiskey and no helmet, saying, "So you're really Captain Cold?"
Len smirks. "Always nice to meet a fan."
"...that was actually your line."
"On my Earth, it was yours."
Tony snorts and takes a big swig. "I'm assuming you're used to multiverse theory, since you're astonishingly calm about it. Unless you're in shock again. JARVIS?"
"No, sir," JARVIS replies, "Simply a slightly elevated heart rate."
Yeah, 'cause Len's meeting Iron Man. Who apparently knows about him. Len makes himself extra languid on the couch, legs crossed.
"Flash and his buddies have done it before," he says, "And once you time travel, you see plenty. Not much surprises me."
Tony's eyes spark. "Time travel? That wasn't in the comics."
"Starting to wonder what was in them."
"Captain Cold," JARVIS reports, "AKA Leonard Snart, first appeared as leader of the Rogues Gallery and a nemesis of the superhero the Flash, AKA Barry Allen. Recently, he has been classified as a meta-human with ice powers, rather than carrying his iconic cold gun."
A hologram appears before Len, showing an illustration of a guy in a blue and white get up smirking with icy fists.
"Thought you said you hated my costume," Len says, 'cause honestly, as far as supervillain costumes go, he can work with that.
"JARVIS, show him the old style," Tony says.
A new hologram pops up.
Len grimaces. "Point taken."
When the picture disappears, Tony says, "So, another Earth, where I'm the comic book character. That mean Superman's a thing? Batman? Wonder Woman? Gotta have the Flash, since you're there."
"We don't talk about the Bat of Gotham," Len says, "General rule among criminals."
"You're actually superstitious about him. You're not even from Gotham."
"Doesn't mean I don't have good sense. Superman and Wonder Woman too, by the way. Say," he says with a slow smile, "don't suppose you could show me comics about them?"
"And reveal their secret identities?" Tony says, scoffing. "Superhero solidarity, villain."
"I just threw myself into a wormhole to blow myself up and save the world," Len says.
"Yeah, been there."
"I know."
"That is so disconcerting. What else does it say about me? I better be a fashion icon."
Because Len's here, relieved beyond belief that he's got a chance of a chance to make it back home, he tells him the most important aspect of Tony Stark his younger self clutched at with hands and feet.
"I had a...rough childhood," he says. "Reading your stuff, the way you rose from what you went through, made me realize that my dad really was just crap."
The silence is heavy as Tony stares at the glass between his hands and processes that.
"So everything with my dad's in there," he says dully.
"Stark men are made of iron," Len replies, "But you made yourself more. So when I had the chance, I took it. Just on the other side. It's like you said, Iron Man. You're a superhero who doesn't need a suit to be one. Though it is pretty cool."
Tony huffs quietly. "You even make puns."
More silence. Len wants to regret opening up, but, well. Not every day you meet your childhood heroes.
"I followed you close when I was a kid," Tony says at length. "Your story did the same for me."
Len's gut clenches, no doubt as Tony's had when finding out his dad was inked in for the world to see.
"Yeah, you're a supervillain, but you don't give a shit about what the world thinks of you," Tony says, as if that's a marvel. "Your dad beat you up, but you protected your sister and became the arch-nemesis of a guy with super speed, without powers. Did you really build that gun yourself?"
"No," Len says, "Stole it from Cisco Ramon."
"Vibe? Huh."
"Who's Vibe?"
"Vibe," JARVIS says, "Cisco Ramon's superhero alias. Has the power to look into the fabric of the universe and manipulate vibrations."
"...damn, kid," Len murmurs.
"So Vibe's not Vibe yet," Tony says, "but you've time traveled, which wasn't in the comics. And, apparently, you didn't build your cold gun, which is honestly kind of a bummer."
Len shrugs. "Never meet your heroes. Or villains."
"Hey, you drink water with, like, five ice cubes and you still make puns. Not turning out too bad, considering."
Iron Man likes him.
"Likewise," Len says smoothly.
Tony puts his glass down and leans forward. "I gotta ask. You and the Flash. Did you guys ever screw around? 'Cause the chemistry is just undeniable."
Len thinks with a new thrill that he might be able to get back to Barry Allen. Not just him, either. "Him and Iris West."
Tony grins. "I knew it! Bruce owes me twenty bucks."
"Speakin' of, you and the Hulk?"
"Hulk's a little big, even for me. But me, Pepper, and Bruce?" Tony's smile goes a little gooey-eyed. "We have fun."
Len smirks. "Good to know I'm not the only one into screwing heroes."
"Thank you for acknowledging that Iris West is a hero. She's a damn angel and you need to appreciate her."
"She white in the comics?"
"...she's not white, is she."
"Nope."
Tony shakes his head. "I'll write a strong letter to DC."
"Washington?"
"No, DC Comics. It's, uh, what your franchise is called. Originally just called Detective Comics, so really it's Detective Comics Comics, which shows who was high back then. It's got all the Justice League guys and stuff. Though it doesn't sound like the JL's formed yet."
"Sounds like I've got something to look forward to. Yours is Marvel, by the way."
Tony relaxes against the couch, despite his still being in his suit. "That sounds like me. I'm a marvel."
"If you know the Hulk, then the Avengers are...?"
"Separated for now. 'Til we're needed again. Kinda like Batman. Or is the name Batman like Macbeth to you? Don't spit or ward off the evil eye in here, it cramps the style."
Len rolls his eyes. "Doubtful I'll ever actually meet him."
"Yeah, but you've gotta meet your smokin' hot girl." Tony stands, picking up his glass and heading to the bar. "And guy." He turns and walks backwards. "Is Barry Allen good-looking?"
"He's young."
"Oh really, cougar?" Tony puts his glass down and saunters towards an elevator. "How young?"
"Twenty-five."
"Really? Comics have him in his thirties. He'd discovered the Speed Force in an experiment gone wrong. Y'know, the usual."
"Apparently the Reverse Flash gave him his powers."
"That...sounds like a mindfuck."
Len steps into the elevator with him. "You have no idea."
"Brucie-bear!" Tony calls, entering a lab containing a shaggy-haired man writing equations, "You owe me twenty bucks! Captain Cold's screwing the Flash!"
"And Iris West," Len says.
"And Iris West!"
"It was five bucks, Tony," Bruce Banner, Bruce Banner, replies absent-mindedly, "And how do you know that? I'm gonna need some hard evidence...oh, hello."
Len's never seen much of Dr. Banner. Comics liked to focus on the Hulk. So seeing this guy, smiling meekly, encompassed by Tony's grand personality, is a little weird. If this situation could get any weirder.
"By the power of the multiverse," Tony says, gesturing to Len, "We've got Captain Cold!"
Bruce looks at Len like he's sharing a private joke.
"I fell outta a wormhole," Len says, "Where I'm from, you're the comic book."
"Pretty sure I'd know if a wormhole opened," Bruce says.
"Sir instructed me to keep the incident isolated until more information could be found," JARVIS says―a little disapproving, like Gideon when Hunter's done something particularly stupid.
Bruce's expression hardens. "Tony."
"I fail to see the problem," Tony replies nonchalantly, "Since it turned out to be awesome."
"You need to call for backup."
"You know what I need? I need the ten bucks you owe me for the bet."
"It was five, and you're not getting out of this."
"Let's save the lovers' spat for when I'm gone," Len drawls.
"Exactly!" Tony says, backing up to stand next to him, hand hovering over his shoulder. "This man needs to get back to his threesome goals. Who are we to deprive him of that?"
Bruce sighs. "I don't know much about interdimensional travel."
"Can't you get Thor on it?" Len asks, "He does it all the time."
"...we really are comic books where you're from."
"Honestly, I'm expecting Spider-Man any second."
"Spider-Man?" Tony says.
"He's not around yet? Interesting."
"Alright," Bruce says, "I'm gonna see if I can contact Dr. Foster. With any luck, he's visiting her right now."
Which kinda sucks, 'cause Len would've liked to see Asgard. And talk to Loki.
Thor is not visiting, but Jane Foster's able to get in touch with him and explain the problem, because she's a smart badass who, like Iris, needs to be appreciated more. But that's just Len's opinion.
Either way, she doesn't come with.
Thor shows up with a flash of lightning and a big sunny smile.
"Friend Stark, Friend Banner!" he crows, opening his arms, "Who is our wayward traveler?"
It's like Barry infected his smile with a giant. A giant who holds a hammer and has a massive cape. And flowing blond hair. Not a character invented by guys on acid, but a real, in the flesh person.
"Leonard Snart," he says calmly.
Thor gets a kick out of the story when it's explained. Len shares a couple tidbits from comics he's read, like that one time Thor and Hulk served a bunch of food to superheroes while Thor was wearing an apron. He's got a big, booming laugh, but although it might have the force of thunder, it holds nothing ominous. As if he laughs just for the sake of laughing.
Len's always envied that.
"Well, if our intelligence in the Tower can read your frequency, I should be able to contact Heimdall and discover the correct path for the Bifrost," Thor says, as if that's all clear English.
"JARVIS?" Tony asks.
"Calculating now," JARVIS says.
"You're saying he runs on a different frequency 'cause he's from another Earth," Tony says, fingers twitching like he wants something to write with. He's definitely rocking a mad genius look.
"Precisely," Thor replies, retrieving a box of Pop Tarts from one of the lab's cabinets labeled SNACKS.
"Fascinating," Bruce murmurs. He's got a notebook in his hand, though he pauses to offer Tony one from the table behind him. Tony wrinkles his nose a bit, probably preferring holograms or something, but takes it and writes just as rapidly.
While JARVIS is comparing frequencies, the lab door opens yet again, this time to a crisp voice saying, "I've been told Tony's won a bet."
Pepper Potts, in a gleaming white dress suit and red lipstick, reminds Len of Sara with her precise steps.
"Yes," Tony says, "Turns out I was right. Captain Cold's screwing the Flash and Iris West."
"You only predicted the Flash, not West. Hi, I'm Pepper Potts," she says to Len.
Len shakes her hand. Good grip, a boss' firmness. "Leonard Snart."
"So you're really from another Earth?"
"Seems so."
"Well, I guess we were due for another phenomenon after an alien invasion. Thor, nice to see you again."
"Hello, Miss Potts!"
Potts smiles sweetly. "Bruce."
Bruce smiles sweetly back. "Hey, Pepper."
"Mr. Snart, how are you holding up? JARVIS only told me you'd fallen out of a wormhole showing symptoms of shock."
Len shrugs. "Can't complain. 'Specially if I can go home."
"When. We'll get you there."
Getting assurance from Pepper Potts is something Len hadn't known he needed. He lets out a long, quiet breath under a quick nod.
"Where's your cold gun, by the way?" Tony asks.
"Left it with my partner," Len says.
"Heat Wave?" Bruce says, "I'm told he's a bit like the Hulk."
"Big and tough, yeah," Len replies, "but not as similar as you think."
The ice in his voice is enough to ping Tony's radar. The man pats Thor's arm, saying, "You gonna stick around after all this? Got way more flavors of Pop Tarts."
"If I am permitted," Thor says, "I would be honored."
"Nice. I wanna take another look at that hammer."
Thor smiles, fondly exasperated. "Some things cannot be explained by your equations."
"Maybe I'll just find some new ones then."
Pepper and Bruce share an affectionate look. Len wonders if Tony realizes he doesn't have to bribe anyone around him to stay with him. He also wonders, with a jolt, how many times he's done the same thing.
A holographic display interrupts, full of numbers and diagrams Len can't begin to understand. Weird talk starts happening, leaving Pepper and Len to their own devices.
"From what I've seen," Pepper says quietly, "you, Iris and the Flash would make a great triad."
"Same to you," Len replies.
Pepper smiles. "I know. You need anything, by the way? I imagine Tony's already offered you a drink."
"Just a way back."
Pepper turns back to the three men. "You're like Tony that way. Always focusing ahead. The main goal's already in process. What about what you need right now?"
Len crosses his arms. "I'd like to talk to the Black Widow."
Pepper snickers.
Len, unfortunately, doesn't get to talk to the Black Widow. From what the others understand, she's on an off-the-radar mission. But Len's message that he thinks she's cool will reach her.
Then Thor's gripping his shoulder and saying Heimdall has found the proper path and Len might go into shock again.
"You've got a second chance," Tony says, "Don't waste it."
Len smirks. "Who am I to disagree with Iron Man?"
Tony gives him a lop-sided smile and an outstretched hand. "Good to meet you, Captain Cold."
Len's falling again.
He lands hard.
Someone's crying out.
"Len?"
Len's pulled onto his shaky legs, putting his forehead to Iris and Barry's temples. Breathes them in.
"I," he says, "just had the most marvelous time."