In Memoriam
6. In Memoriam
A red leather coat, scorched, covered in dirt.
(It had been freshly washed by the owner the day before they parted ways.)
A broken blade, shattered at the hand of a tyrant.
(She liked to keep it sharp, and maintained it with a care that rivaled his own with guns.)
A holosnap of a woman and child, standing atop a mountain.
(The sole reminder he kept of his wife and daughter, aside from their names engraved on his knives.)
A handheld game device, screen flickering as its power dwindled.
(He had left it behind when they accompanied Thor to Wakanda. The Asgardian had found it at the forge on one of his trips.)
A small wooden box, intricate carvings adorning the lid—made with a firm delicateness that was suited to its owner.
(What few personal belongings their newest family member kept, she stored within. He didn't open it.)
These things he gathered together and placed within the only fully intact room left of the Benatar—the medbay—as a reminder of sorts. Then he got to work, stripping his jumpsuit down to the waist and tying the sleeves together. The raccoonoid sifted through the wreckage of his home, only stopping when he heard a faint whir of cybernetics moving outside.
"…Kinda busy here, Nebula."
"No, you're not."
Whir-chunk. Whir-chunk. Whiiir—
The Luphomoid eased herself down into a cross-legged position on the floor next to him. Rocket could feel her eyes on him as he did his best to continue inspecting the twisted hunk of metal he held. He was almost certain it had once been a wrench.
"You want to talk."
Nebula hadn't asked him a question. It was more like an observation, and he hated her for making it.
I want you to leave, or at least, that's what he thought he said. Rocket's mouth wasn't cooperating with his brain, apparently, when he responded with a meek "Okay," instead.
Damnit.
He tossed the former wrench to the floor and dropped to the floor, curling his arms around his legs and tucking his knees under his chin. He could feel his tail sweeping ash and dirt aside behind him.
Gathering thoughts. Memories.
The cybernetic assassin said nothing as the raccoonoid took a few breaths, collecting himself. She instead eyed the impromptu memorial that he had made. Her own breath caught upon seeing the hilt of the broken Godslayer.
"Gamora earned that blade after our first mission together. I think…"
Nebula hadn't intended to vocalise her thoughts. She sighed and lowered her head.
"I think that was one of the only times I saw her smile after...after Thanos got us. There was a time when she—when we were both proud of what we did for him. Or maybe…we just wanted him to be proud. He had taken away our homes. Our normal lives. Our families. I guess we were trying to hold on to the things we'd lost…but it was never the same. How could it have been?"
Her dark eyes narrowed and her next words had an edge to them.
"Thanos was a monster. He's always been that way, but I suppose the rest of the universe knows it as well now. We were just means to an end to him—and…well, that end has been written."
Rocket rubbed his eyes and shook his head, not meeting her gaze.
"I…I dunno what to do, Nebula. I remember tellin' them that I didn't have that long of a lifespan when I 'signed up' for guarding the galaxy. I meant it as a joke, but…I wasn't made to last. Not once in the past few years did I ever think I might outlive 'em. I've spent almost four years figurin' out how to do this whole…being part of a family thing, and now—now they're just…gone."
His voice grew quiet, but Nebula could still hear the sorrow in his next words.
"…W-we can't even have a damn funeral for them—th-there's nothin' left..."
"It's not important what's left, Fox—Rocket. You can still honour them…and it seems you already have."
The assassin gestured to the assortment of the other Guardians' personal effects, and Rocket let out a faint snort. "Actually, that…that's all I could find from that part of the ship. The cabins were practically incinerated from the crash. Besides, I—I dunno the first thing about holdin' a service. I've only actually seen Yondu's, and I ain't sure they'd want a Ravager funeral. Quill maybe, but Drax and Mantis? Gamora? Groot, definitely not. Much as he loved the fireworks, he wouldn't want to be cremated."
Nebula pondered this for a moment, before standing and briskly walking towards the door.
"H-hey! Where're you goin'?"
"We're on Terra. We may as well ask the Terrans for advice."
"Advice for what? A funeral ain't gonna bring them back. I don't even know that those people would give a damn, not-not after what—"
The assassin frowned and turned her head slightly towards the raccoonoid. "—what Stark said?"
Rocket nodded, ear twitching slightly at the man's name. "Yeah. It's just… H-he's right, you know? It is our fault. We—I got into an argument with Quill about where we should go. I wasted time. If we had all just gone to Knowhere to begin with, maybe I—maybe we could've stopped Thanos before he got the Reality Stone. Could've ended it there, but instead…"
He flinched and curled into himself as Nebula silently walked back and placed her hands on his quickly sagging shoulders. Holding him up. Grounding him. "We got careless. Ever since Ego, we've been doin' our best to make sure that the galaxy was safe. We were always training, watching, preparing for the next Ronan, or Ego…or for Thanos. I-I thought we had done everything right…and it st-still wasn't enough."
"You were the only one who did do everything right, Rocket. That's why you're still here."
"I-I didn't even fight Thanos. I—"
"—the Asgardian told me what you did. You made the call to keep fighting the Outriders. Think of all the Terrans who you chose to protect that day and are still alive now because of that choice. Stark said what he did because he has only just begun to mourn his loved ones. Perhaps…it's time to finish mourning yours and look at guarding the people you have now."
Once more she stood, and this time she offered her hand to him. "Gamora…she was your sister as well, Rocket. That's good enough for me. I understand if you don't want to see the Terrans just yet. Will you at least speak to Thor?"
Rocket was quiet for several moments, before he finally stood and took her hand. Together they walked out of the medbay and left the fields, heading into the city towards the palace.
"…There are certain rites we perform on Asgard to remember lost loved ones. When my mother, Frigga, gave her life to stand against Malekith, we placed her body on a longboat with her possessions. All of Asgard came to remember and celebrate her life. When my father urged her spirit to Valhalla, the archers lit the boat and we released her pyre to the sea in her honour."
The Asgardian paused, a sad smile forming on his face as he placed Stormbreaker on the ground outside of the Benatar's wreckage.
"When…when such a memorial is not possible, due to urgency or…lack of body, there is a prayer that all on Asgard are taught from birth in order to send the spirits of the dead to their peace. I would offer that rite for the Guardians, Rocket, should you allow it."
The raccoonoid's ear twitched, and he considered Thor's words. After a moment of silent thought, he nodded. Thor stood and walked into the medbay, picking up a piece of charred material and kneeling down in front of the little memorial Rocket had made. He waited patiently as Rocket, and then Nebula followed behind him. As the God of Thunder spoke, he used the ash-covered object to carefully lay runes into the floor.
"Guardians of the Galaxy, I bid you take your place in the halls of Valhalla… Where the brave shall live forever. Nor shall we mourn, but rejoice for those that have died the glorious death…"
When it was over, the three of them remained together, silently mourning the families they had lost.
Rocket stepped out of the medbay and looked up at the night sky, and at the stars winking back. He thought of the other Guardians. Thought of his team. Tonight, he would remember them. Tomorrow, he would start honouring their memories.
His family had not stopped fighting—and neither would he.
I promise you guys. I'll do what I can to keep the galaxy safe. And if I can't get you back...
"…Then I'll avenge you."