After the debacle of their first visit to Stark Tower Steve rethinks how to get the funding from Tony.
“We need to get him alone. He's never been able to say no to us in the past. It's those lovers of his. They've messed him up,” Sam says. They're down to five members as Clint had elected to stay close to the tower with Scott so they could earn forgiveness from their families.
“Okay so we go back tomorrow. See if we can get him alone,” Steve says and the others nod.
The next morning they sneak into the tower before Tony arrives knowing that he had gone to his mansion for something and was coming back. They decide to lie in wait.
All is quiet until they hear “HULK SMASH!” followed by a faint yelp. The Avengers rush through the penthouse to one of the back rooms that used to be Bruce's bedroom before the tower was destroyed.
They hear groaning from inside and they burst in with Natasha ready to calm Hulk down.
They are not ready for what they see.
“Harder!” A Hulk sized Loki says as Hulk slides in and out of his...Steve doesn't want to think about what he's witnessing.
“Holy fuck,” Sam exclaims causing Loki to look over at the uninvited guests with a bored expression while Hulk looks vaguely angry.
“How can I help you…on second thought I know why you are here. You intended to lie in wait for Anthony and ask him for something he has already said no to. I must say that I am very disappointed in you,” Loki says and Hulk growls at them. Loki pats him on the shoulder.
“Oh don't look so upset. They'll be leaving soon. Then we can continue on with our fun. Then Tony and Stephen will come home and you know how Stephen loves to tease Tony perhaps we can send a video to Rhodey and Quill I bet they would enjoy it...”
“Am I the only curious to how there is a Hulk sized Loki?” Sam asks.
“I am a shapeshifter. Therefore I am the only one Hulk is able to safely lay with in this manner. This way both sides of Bruce are able to be full and equal members of the relationship. Something Bruce's other relationships have been lacking,” Loki says with a pointed look at Natasha.
“Hulk throw them out?” Hulk asks pouting.
“I'm sure they can find their own ways out. I suggest they make their escape quick I tend to be on the loud side,” Loki says smirking and turning back to Hulk.
“Let's get out of here,” Bucky says and they take off.
“THEY WHAT!!!” Tony shouts several hours later when Loki tells him what happened. They had all promised there would be no secret keeping at all early on and Loki and Stephen had gone a step farther than the others and attempted to cast a spell on themselves making it impossible for them to keep secrets from Tony but Tony had stopped them saying the thought was enough.
“They walked in on me and Hulk making love,” Loki says.
“Did they give you a hard time? Because I swear I'll ruin then if they made one snide comment!” Tony fumes and paces only to be scooped up into Hulk's arms and his face covered in kisses.
“Do not fret Tony. We are both unharmed from the encounter. I cannot say the same for Rogers and his merry band of idiots,” Loki says and has Friday show the footage of when they first burst in. Tony immediately launches into hysterical laughter.
“I think you broke them,” Tony says giggling.
“Boring mortals are so fragile,” Loki says.
“Hey I'm mortal! All of your lovers are or at least part!” Tony says pouting.
“Yes, but the five of you are anything but boring,” Loki says.
“Flatterer,” Tony says.
“Says the person that's flattered,” Loki says giving him a kiss.
“I'll have to check over security. FRIDAY? How come you let them get up here?”
“I felt that this particular event would serve as a decent deterrent to prevent any future ambush attempts in your home,” FRIDAY says.
“Let it go love. Let us go make a nice video for James and Peter to remind them of what they are missing by being at work,” Loki says as Stephen comes home from checking his wards.
“I like that idea,” Tony says as they lead him to the bedroom.