The flat seemed emptier than usual, somehow.
That was to be expected- neither him nor Julio had been home much lately. Shatterstar had accepted Kitty Pryde’s offer to be on the X-men’s street team recently. It was usually pretty minor stuff he had to deal with- crime, the odd evil mutant, but that was to be expected. The big X-men ‘let’s go into space and fight gods’ thing had never really seemed to suit Star. Too many bad memories.
Rictor hated civilian life even more than his boyfriend. The X-men never seemed to stand still for even a moment. Shatterstar could tell Julio felt a little left behind by it all. So he jumped at the chance when Illyana asked him to be on her team. Detective work, she said. Not too different from X-factor. But this time… investigating the paranormal. Sure it was weird. But now, whenever Ric returned home, he had a glow to him Star hadn’t seen since he got his powers back. So what did it matter if he wasn’t home much? He was genuinely happy for the first time in a while.
And that meant so much to Star. Months ago, Rictor was a completely different person. The only way he and Star seemed to communicate was by yelling. All Rictor seemed to want to do was lie in bed. Star knew he had depression, but it had never been this bad. Shatterstar wasn’t himself either- he constantly anxious and even more restless than usual. Plus, there were the meltdowns. Star had only experienced them occasionally before, when things got really bad. But now they were a frequent occurrence. Shatterstar knew he had autism, but had never experienced anything like this before.
Eventually, they decided that a break would be best for the both of them. Just a little breathing room, while Rictor sorted himself out and Shatterstar calmed down.
It didn’t last long. They loved each other, and that wouldn’t change for anything. They moved back in together, Rictor got put on new meds and Star decided to go to therapy. It had actually been working, so far. Shatterstar was glad. He didn’t know if could stomach the break for much longer. Things were looking better than they had for a long time.
“Julio?” Shatterstar called. No reply, but that wasn’t anything new.
He walked into the kitchen, rummaged through their too-empty fridge until he found the remnants of the smoothie he made yesterday. Shatterstar didn’t eat much. Partly because he didn’t really need to- he wasn’t exactly human, after all. But also because he didn’t like the texture of most foods in his mouth. Smoothies were okay though- they tasted like silk.
After drinking the last of the smoothie, he took out his swords and carefully placed them in their box on the coffee table. Looking down, he noticed a bright pink post-it note stuck there.
“Can you go to the store- we're out of bread. Love you- J”
He smiled to himself, and headed out.
The flat was still empty when he got back, although he didn’t know what he expected. In Shatterstar’s arms were a bouquet of colourful flowers he bought at the store. He had picked them out especially for Julio- and because Star liked to stare at them himself, too.
He put the milk in the fridge, placed the flowers in a vase on the table and sat down on the couch. He turned the television onto some trashy reality show and switched his brain off.
Julio should be home soon.
After about two hours, having hit the limit for how much of The Kardashians he could physically bear, he got up and looked through his phone. Kitty and Peter had set a date for the wedding, Monet was having some kind of “fashion disaster” and apparently Wolverine was back (Shatterstar was least surprised by that).
He sent a quick message to Ric- Are you coming home soon?- before putting his phone down and going to clean his blades. He smoothed down the silver edges of the sword, repeating the back-and-fourth motion over and over. An hour must’ve went by before he looked at the clock. Sighing, he put back his pristine swords and checked his phone again.
But still no word from Rictor. It was eleven, and Ric was usually back hours ago. Star hesitated before calling his boyfriend. Julio hated speaking on the phone but Star was beyond the point of worrying about that.
Hands shaking, he dialled the number he knew so well. It went straight to answerphone.
“Hola, this is Ric. Or Julio, whatever. I’m probably doing crazy mutant stuff right now so leave-”
“Julio, it’s me. You’re- it’s getting late and I am worried. Please call me. Just come back soon, OK? I love you.”
Taking a deep breath, he put his phone back down and sat back in front of the TV. The colours seemed to merge together and the sounds all drowned each other out. Nothing seemed to fit together. Like a fizzling pile of chemical colours and synthetic noise.
Julio…
Ring! Ring!
The abrupt sound seemed to yank Shatterstar out of whatever kind of sleep he was dragged under. Fumbling for his phone in the darkness, he was greeted by a Scottish voice on the other end of the line.
“Shatterstar? I’m sorry fuir calling at this time o’night… but uh, it’s about Ric. Why don’t yuir sit down, pet.” Rahne said, her voiced pained.
“Is he alright?” Shatterstar asked, swallowing.
“There’s… there’s been an accident. We, we were on a plane and it was falling and um, Rictor he… he couldn’t… Ah God. He um, he couldn’t- didn’t get out on time.” Rahne stuttered. Each word seemed to last forever.
“I do not understand.” Star said, his voice monotone.
“Star… he’s… Rictor’s dead.”
He dropped the phone, cold, right out of his hands. All the air had been sucked out of his lungs.
He made a primal noise with his throat. A noise so brutal Shatterstar hadn’t thought him capable of making. His legs seemed to crumple under him as he collapsed onto the floor.
This couldn't be right. Julio... he couldn't be dead. Shatterstar wouldn't allow it.
He held his knees to his chin as he rocked back and forth in a foetal position.
"Julio!" He cried out. He almost expected him to peak out from their bedroom and come to hold him. Kissing him, whispering softly. Telling him that everything was going to be OK, that he wouldn't ever leave Shatterstar, not like this.
The echo of his scream left a sinister silence.
He felt empty. Void.
Maybe time went by. He didn’t know if he’d been there for seconds or days.
Eventually, he felt the room lit up with sunlight, signifying morning. He opened his eyes. It didn’t feel like he’d gone to sleep.
When he tried to stand up, his legs wouldn’t allow it.
Gazing at the floor, something caught his eye. Bright pink and crumpled up.
“Can you go to the store- we're out of bread.”
“Love you- J”