Chapter 7
“I always knew the world was a fucked up place, but reading all these reports just …” TJ wasn’t even sure how to articulate what he was thinking. “I mean what kind of people are willing to do this to another person?”
Steve set his device down, reaching out to wrap TJ’s hand in his own. “I’d like to say that all this surprises me, but after everything I’ve seen, I’m afraid nothing really does anymore. Part of me wishes it had been anyone but Buck going through this, but then I feel guilty because nobody should have to go through what they did to him.”
TJ leaned closer to Steve, shifting so their hands were on his lap. While he knew what he felt was a fraction of what Steve endured, he was beginning to understand the concept of actually feeling cold even when it was all in his head. He couldn’t shake the images of the Sergeant Barnes from his history books being strapped down and frozen in some weird-looking standing freezer. Shivering slightly, he felt Steve’s hand pull away from his and wrap around his shoulders.
“You know you don’t have to do this if it’s upsetting you.” Steve worried about the impact reading all the files was going to have on him. “Nobody will judge you for it.”
“I know, but like I said the other day, I think it’s important that when we find him we can honestly say we’re opening our home to him with eyes wide open. He doesn’t need to be walking on eggshells afraid we’re going to find out what he’s done and judge him or hate him for it.”
Steve leaned over to kiss the side of TJ’s head. “I love you.”
TJ chuckled softly understanding Steve’s reaction. “I love you too. Do you think Thor’s parents or T’Challa will have any luck figuring out how to undo everything?”
“I hope so. I’m really glad they were both so willing to help even though it sounds like we’re missing a crucial piece of the triggering process.”
“Same.” TJ leaned his head onto Steve’s shoulder, curling his legs up so he could prop his Starkpad on it and start reading the next report. The soldier quietly shifted so to prop his own against his knee and the pair fell into a companionable silence as they continued reading.
“Captain,” JARVIS interrupted as he read through yet another document detailing what happened to Bucky after the fall. “I believe I found something you should read now.”
TJ sat up straight, immediately meeting Steve’s eyes, a hint of panic in both their eyes at the AI's serious tone.
“Show it to me.” The file immediately opened on Steve’s StarkPad. A moment later he grimaced, cursing under his breath.
“Has Tony seen this?”
“Sir has not reached this file yet and I took the liberty of removing it from his library when I notified you.” Steve rose, pacing in the middle of the room, eyes squeezed shut as he tried to imagine what was coming next.
“Thank you, J.” Steve sighed. “Where is he? I need to tell him before he finds out somehow.”
“He’s in the front sitting room sorting through some new information on Project Insight,” JARVIS answered immediately.
“Tell him what?” TJ rose, striding over to stand in front of Steve so the other man had to stop.
“That the Winter Soldier killed his parents.” The words came out as a strained whisper.
“Shit.” TJ kept his eyes fixed on Steve’s, willing himself not to fall over with the weight of this revelation.
“Yeah. Just … I don't know how this is going to go. This may change a lot. We may have to find somewhere else to lay low. I won't make him stay involved in looking for Buck after this, but I can't just leave Buck out there under HYDRA control.”
“We'll do what we have to if it comes to that.” TJ embraced him before letting loose and watching him slip out of the room. As the door shut, he made it to the couch before his legs gave way. “You don't think Tony will want us to leave, do you J?”
****
Rounding the corner, Steve saw Tony staring at a 3D projection of what appeared to be a helicarrier.
“Hey, Tony. Do you have a minute?” Steve faltered, hating that he was about to hurt Tony. Fearing that the friendship they’d found in recent weeks wasn’t going to be enough to overcome this.
“Of course. What can I do for you?” Tony pivoted toward him, eyes full of the eager willingness to help that Steve now recognized came so easily to the billionaire.
Hoping he was able to hide the turmoil he felt, Steve stepped further into the room. “Actually … I don’t … I’m …” The soldier tried to find the right words.
“Cap, what’s wrong? You’re kinda scaring me given how eloquent you tend to be under pressure.” Tony tried to grin as he thought about how TJ swore Steve must have pre-written pep talks. “Did you find something? Do we need to gear up? Did someone die?”
Tony froze, seeing the tears pooling in Steve’s eyes.
“Who? Who died? Do we need to avenge them? I mean that is our thing after all.” He flinched even as the attempt at his normal sarcastic humor left his mouth.
“I don’t know how to say this in a way that isn’t going to hurt.” Steve took another step toward the shorter man as his words sank in and Tony started to falter.
“Just tell me. I can take it.”
Steve guided him back toward the closest chair, kneeling in front of it when Tony instinctively sat as his knees hit the seat.
“Your parents.”
Tony looked confused. “Car crash was years ago, Cap. There’s no need …”
The blond shook his head, the tears finally spilling from the corner of his eyes. “It wasn’t a car crash. Not really.” Steve tried to take a deep breath as Tony shook his head. “We found the file in The Winter Soldier reports. They were targeted by HYDRA to capture the serum Howard was transporting. They sent Bucky …”
“Just stop.” Tony held his hands up. “I get it. The Winter Soldier killed them.”
Steve backed up. He wanted to wrap Tony in a hug but it was pretty obvious the other man didn’t want that.
He watched silently as Tony sprung from the chair, retreating to the window. They stood silently for a few minutes, Tony staring out across the lawn as Steve stared at him.
"I'm so sorry. Tony." Steve wanted to make it better but was at a total loss about how to comfort his friend after the news his long-lost best friend had killed his parents. There was no playbook for navigating this. When Tony didn’t respond, he sighed before continuing. "I just … I didn't want you to hear it from someone else. I understand if this changes things. I'll sign my part of the house over to Natasha. TJ and I will be gone …"
Tony whirled around, eyes bright with tears. "What the fuck, Steve?" The blond watched, unsure what he was supposed to say. "Not gonna lie. It fucking sucks, but a HYDRA hit makes a lot more sense than a random car accident." Tony started pacing. "But I can't blame Barnes for that any more than I can blame Clint for the shit he pulled as a Loki-Bot."
"Are..."
"Yes, I'm sure. We're going to keep doing exactly what we've been doing. If we're lucky, we’ll find him before they make him do anything else he'll have to spend his life regretting."
Steve gawked, dumbfounded at Tony. He realized that he’d underestimated him again and was amazed at just how much more Tony was than any of them had given him credit for in the early days.
“You can breathe, Cap. I’m not going to change my mind. Honestly, it really does make more sense. The crash story never really added up right. My parents aren’t any more or less dead because I know the truth. It still sucks but I’ve had plenty of time to come to terms with their loss, especially mom. At least I can assume he ended things quickly for them. I always worried that she had suffered, helplessly waiting for someone to find them.”
Steve blinked, watching Tony carefully to ensure he wasn’t going to suddenly fall apart.
“I promise. I’m okay. Not going to suddenly explode over this. I’ll even talk to Pepper and Sam about it if it’ll make you feel better.” Tony’s eyebrow rose, challenging Steve to comment on his incredibly responsible response. “Now why don’t you go tell TJ that everything is okay. I’m guessing he was with you and knows what you’re doing right now. Which also means you probably scared him half to death by telling him some version of what you just offered to do.”
Steve gave him a half-hearted smile and shrug. “You might be right.”
“Shoo. Go tell him we’re good. Though if you’re feeling particularly bad for me more baked goods wouldn’t go amiss.” Tony smirked.
“Anything Tony. Whatever you want.” Steve smiled more fully, appreciating Tony’s attempt at getting them back to stable footing.
“Mint chocolate. Haven’t had any in ages, but damn they’re tasty.”
“You got it.” Steve shook his head as he turned back toward the hall. “We’ll make sure you know as soon as they’re out of the oven.”
"Hey Steve," Tony called after him. "Thank you."
Steve looked back, silent confusion clear on his face.
"For being the one to tell me even when you thought I'd want you gone. Means a lot." Tony closed the distance between them, giving Steve a quick hug.
As the shorter man stepped back, Steve clasped his shoulders. "I couldn't keep it a secret, Tony. That's not how friendship works. I may have known Bucky longer, he may be like a brother to me, but you’re my friend too."
Tony gave him a big grin before making a shooing motion. “Run along. I’ve got HYDRA mischief to untangle. I’ll fill everyone in as soon as I figure a few more things out, but I’m thinking we might have to go on the offensive to stop whatever they’ve got cooking.
“Sounds ominous.”
“It is, but we managed to stop an alien army so I feel like a bunch of humans shouldn’t be outside the realm of our capabilities. Now run along so I can figure it out. I’ll update everyone soon.”
A moment later, Steve poked his head into the office he and TJ shared. “Want to help me make some cookies?”
TJ sprung off the couch, almost running to the door. “Seriously? You leave telling me we might have to evacuate and now you want to make cookies?”
“Okay, maybe I should have introduced the idea differently. Tony was actually amazingly calm and rational about the entire thing. His only request was mint chocolate cookies. Possibly because I offered to make him anything he wanted after he was so entirely calm.”
“Seriously?” TJ’s eyes widened as he stared at Steve.
“Apparently HYDRA causing his parents' death made a lot more sense than the story he’d been given. And thankfully he does remember Clint’s time under Loki’s control, so he was quick to acknowledge that it wasn’t really Bucky that did it.”
TJ nodded. “Fair point. I guess we should go make cookies.” Grabbing Steve’s hand, he headed toward the kitchen. “I’m pretty sure I saw mint chocolate chips the other day. JARVIS must have known we’d need them.”