Chapter 1
"You might want to take the stairs to the left."
Those words replayed themselves in Loki's mind so many times, he heard them in his dreams. Was it his fault that his mother had been killed? Or was it Odin's fault for not keeping her surrounded with guards? None of that mattered now that she was gone. None of that mattered now that Loki was well and truly alone in his cell, knowing that no one would ever visit him again.
He banged his head against the wall. The back of his head hit with such force that some of the stone chipped away, falling to the floor around him. He'd expected as much. He would never be fortunate enough to actually knock himself unconscious. Sliding down the wall, he sat and gingerly patted the now sore place at the back of his skull. Blood. In his hair. He idly wondered if it was the same blood that ran on the floor when Frigga was killed. She'd been awfully upset when he'd said she wasn't his mother.
Blood in his hair. Blood in his dreams. He couldn't stop the blood. It seemed to be everywhere.
Why had he told that beast where to go?
Protective Loki flung yet another dagger at the wall, stabbing it into the makeshift bullseye he'd painted the previous day. He didn't know why he felt better when he practiced. Norns knew he didn't really need to. He'd hit the mark over two thousand times that day alone, but he still felt frightened, empty- panicked. He was still afraid he would fail if put to the test.
"What are you doing?" April whispered in an alarmed tone.
He hadn't realized she was sneaking up behind him, but now he felt terrible because she would worry. She always worried. She worried he wasn't getting enough sleep, even though he didn't need sleep. She worried when he didn't eat enough, even though he didn't really need to eat. Now she would worry about this.
The blade was barely touching his arm; just enough to allow for a tiny drop of dark red blood to grace the tip.
"I-- It was an accident."
He had to face it, his inherited silver tongue wasn't going to get him out of this one. Her face showed him that he wasn't fooling her. It was etched with worry, grief, sorrow, and fear.
"Don't lie to me, Loki. You never lie to me. You're far too good with those daggers to have an 'accident.'"
She was talking to him like she would talk to her Loki, and he suddenly felt like a small child taking a scolding from his mother. But instead of continuing to scold him, she wrapped her arms around him and gently took the blade from his hands. They both watched as the tiny cut healed, and April kissed his cheek.
"I'm so sorry I haven't been able to help you, but I think I may know someone who can."
Protective Loki spent the next day with a hand-drawn map in one hand and a stress ball in the other. He had no idea what that idiotic ball was supposed to do for him, but April had insisted he take it with him. Then she'd taken all but one of his knives away from him. She'd allowed him to keep one just in case. When he finally arrived at his destination- the university April had attended ten years prior- he was completely lost. His map showed that the office he was looking for was on the second floor, but he wasn't even sure he had the map turned the right way. He was turning it around and around in his hands, grumbling under his breath when a woman walked out of a room down the hall from where he was standing.
"Are you looking for something?"
Loki took a few seconds to gaze at her. She was stunning. She was dressed in a sharp black suit with a knee-length skirt and heels, and her hair was put up neatly at the back of her neck. He couldn't help imagining how it would tumble onto her shoulders if he pulled at the clip that held it into place.
"I was looking for an office...but I think I may have already missed my appointment."
Lies. All lies.
He hadn't missed his appointment at all. April had made sure the therapist could see him whenever he arrived. Loki wasn't even sure what a therapist was, so he was far more concerned with trying to talk to this woman instead.
"What time is it, darling?" Loki asked her, hoping he could keep her there for a few moments longer.
She glanced at her watch and smiled.
"It's noon. Time for lunch, finally."
He nodded his head. "Yes, I'm afraid I have arrived far too late... Are you going for lunch now? Am I keeping you?"
The woman shook her head and smiled again.
"You aren't keeping me, but yes I'm going for lunch."
She looked down at the map in his hands. "Are you from out-of-town? Do you need help getting somewhere?"
Loki grinned. "Actually, I could use a bit of help. I don't know my way around the city, so my friend made this for me. I'm afraid it hasn't been much help," he chuckled.
"What's your name, darling? You are so lovely."
She looked surprised, but Loki couldn't imagine why. She was lovely- sweet and charming, and stunningly beautiful.
"I'm Tina," she said, holding out her hand. "What's your name?"
Loki gently took her hand and pulled it to his mouth, kissing her knuckles. She giggled and smiled, and he was delighted. It had been a very long time since he'd been delighted by anything.
"My name is Loki. Would you care to get some lunch with me?"
Tina took Loki to the university cafeteria since she had very little time before her next class. Loki learned that she was a Spanish professor. He also learned that he found foreign language professors extremely sexy. Or maybe he just found her extremely sexy.
"So who were you meeting here? I mean, you don't have to tell me..."
Loki didn't want to tell her that he was meeting a therapist. April had told him he wouldn't tell anyone at the house, but he didn't know why. So he used the same lie she had told the others.
"I was supposed to meet a man about some ancient knives."
Tina's eyes lit up. "You like knives? I love knives!"
She suddenly felt embarrassed by her enthusiasm, so she tried to downplay it, but Loki sneakily pulled his dagger out of his pocket.
"What do you think of this one?" He asked, grinning.
It was his very favorite dagger. The hilt was solid gold with a tiny snake etched into the end. The blade was small, but very sharp. Loki loved the sheath most of all because it was made of metal and had a tiny chain that connected to the hilt.
Tina almost couldn't believe her eyes. "Where did you get that? It's beautiful," she breathed.
"Oh, it's been in my family for...years," Loki whispered, slipping it back inside his waistband.
Tina hated to admit it even to herself, but she really liked Loki. He was intelligent, polite, and extremely handsome. He seemed so different from anyone she'd met before, and she wondered where he'd come from. She hated that she would have to cut their conversation short so she could go back to work. She'd likely never see him again.
"Well, I really don't want to, but I have to go back to my class now. I have to teach in a few minutes. I've really enjoyed this, Loki."
Loki smiled, and she felt all the blood rush to her face.
"I have too, darling. Where do you teach? That hallway where we met?"
She sighed. "Yes."
Taking his hand, she gave it a squeeze and said goodbye. When she walked away, she felt bereft, and she chastised herself. She was a smart, independent woman. Getting attached to someone she met in a hallway at work was just not like her.
Loki finished his lunch and thought about what he was going to do. He could either go back to the house and lie to April about seeing the therapist, then spend the rest of the night wishing he'd talked to Tina more...or...
An hour later, Tina finished her class and walked out of her classroom to find Loki standing across the hall.
"I swear I'm not stalking you darling, but I thought maybe...you'd join me for dinner too?"
Tina smiled.
"Yes."
That was the first night that Protective Loki didn't stay up throwing daggers at the wall or thinking about how things could have been different if he hadn't told the beast where to go. Instead, he laid in bed thinking about Tina until he drifted to sleep.