Unspoken Words

"Mr. Stark," Peter said, gasping as he held the blood-spurting wound. "I-I don't feel so good." Tony sucked in a breath, frozen and horrified as Peter stumbled into him. He came back to himself and lowered Peter into his lap. He scanned Peter for anything but pain, and for once he didn't find anything. The kid was shaking and pale, sweat rippled down his face. "Mr. Stark." He breathed. 

"FRIDAY, read vitals. Scan for injuries." Tony said, even though he knew the injuries. 

"Emergency medical assistance on the way. Heart rate and blood pressure is low, multiple injuries that will be fatal in approximately 4 minutes."

Four minutes. Four minutes. Tony fought the lump in his throat when he saw Peter close his eyes. Don't do this to me, kid. 

"Hey," He lightly slapped Peter cheek, his eyes opening slowly. "Stay with me, kid. You're gonna be okay."

Peter looked up at him, tears trailing his cheeks. "I don't want to die. I'm scared, sir. Please!" He breathed, it came out so raspy it sounded like he was a smoker.  "Help me!"

"You're not dying Peter." Because how would I live without you. "Just look at me." 

He calmed down instantly and Tony decided that it was definitely worse. "Okay, Mr. Stark."

Tony tried for a smile. If he didn't act like Peter was dying, then Peter wouldn't die. "Call me Tony kid, it's been what... two years? I think we're there." I'd rather correct you a million times than have this be the last time.

"Two and a half." Peter corrected him. Tony wiped the tears off his kids' cheeks. "In my desk drawer there's a post-it note with baby names that I-" He coughed, blood came out of his mouth with a sickening rattle. "That I thought you'd like." He swallowed painfully. 

Tony wanted to cry, scream and the universe, anybody but Peter.  He didn't know how he could be a dad again, how he could think of caring about another person how he cared about Peter. He can't live without Peter he can't- "How about you tell me them in person." I can't be a parent if you're gone, anyway.

Peter ignored him. "And-and  there's a note to Ned. I wish I told him I loved him. I was so in love..." His voice cracks, more tears falling that Tony quickly wipes away. 

"You're gonna tell him, Pete. I promise you will if you stay awake with me." He's so young, so little, so lovable.

Peter wheezed and took his hand off his wound, blood seeping everywhere. Tony instead, pressed a firm hand there. "You can't give up on me, Pete." Tony said, tears finally escaping. "Peter." I don't want to see anything else in the world knowing you aren't in it. "Kid." 

Peter smiled, that big smile Tony would never get enough of. He soaked it in, trying to remember every smile and laugh the kid given him. Tony regretted every time he didn't return that smile. Every time he brushed it off as idolization or plain stupidity because he'd never seen someone smile so much. "Tony, I'ts not your fault," another wheeze, "I'm sorry." I'll blame myself forever. 

Tony cupped the boys face in his bloody hands. He wishes it wasn't Peter's blood. He wishes he wasn't in this scenario, he would take anything. Anything. "You can apologize when you pick another shitty movie tomorrow night. It is your pick after all." I don't want to do anything without you, even if I wanted to move on I couldn't.

Peter chuckled, then winced in pain. "Please, don't- don't miss me too much, m'kay?" 

"Please, Pete." The name was bitter in his mouth. Peter's liveliness would have made it sweeter than sugar but that wasn't the case. I need you, you have to be okay for me. 

Peter wheezed and closed his eyes, earning another soft hit from Tony. He opened them slowly, they were glassy and dull. "I love you, dad." He breathed. Peter's chest didn't lift again. 

Tony sobbed, pulling the boy closer. "Wake up, Pete. You have to wake up for me, please!" He cried. I love you too, son. "Peter." He cried. 

Tony never told Peter he loved him. Tony never told him how much he cared, he didn't think he would ever have to. He'd never tell Peter that he always had a stock of his favorite ice cream and snacks. He never even got to tell him Pepper was pregnant, but he knew. Peter always knew. Peter always listened, he always loved. When Tony was passed out in his lab littered with food wrappers, Peter always cleaned and cared for him. Tony would scream and kick at Peter after his nightmares, but the kid would be there when he came to, always with a glass of water and a soft smile. Tony remembers the day he saw Peter standing on his balcony- 

"What did the rail ever do to you?" Tony asked with a chuckle, slowly coming behind Peter's rigid form. He placed a soothing hand on the tense muscles in his back and rubbing them. The gesture always calmed them, grounded the distressed teenager. 

Peter didn't smile and kept his gaze on the horizon line. "Just got carried away." He said, his voice was deep and sad unlike Tony had ever heard it. Peter moved his hands away from the dented metal, sliding it away from him. "I'm sorry, sir. It won't happen again."

Tony took a deep breath. "Look at me, Pete." He said sternly. "Peter." 

Peter looked at him, eyes brimmed with tears. He gulped and held the older man's gaze. "I know your busy, why're you even-"

"Because it's you!" Tony shouted, letting his anger get the best of him. He hated that he just did that, and that Peter flinched away from him. "Peter," He said softly this time. He wouldn't make another frustrated-outburst mistake again. "I always have time for my boy." Tony held Peter's face gently, swiping away his kids' tears with his thumbs. 

Peter put his smaller hands over Tony's calloused and rough ones. Tony couldn't help but realize how much of just everything Peter was and would be. The kid is his entire world, and now would permanently be. No matter what happens-

"Peter." He sobs, one last time. One last time before he has no more tears to cry and he screams himself hoarse. His world was gone, the heartbreak would last for the rest of his life. How could he breath know that Peter wasn't sharing the oxygen? How could he go back to the compound knowing that Peter would never again be in the room that was just across he hall? How could he look at Peter's extra suits, how could he look at his own knowing Peter had helped make them? How would Tony love his son when he'd already lost his other one? Tony was scared to be like his dad, but his dad had never lost a son. His dad never held Tony like Tony held Peter. Howard had never-

Tony draped the blanket across Peter's sleeping form, careful not to wake him. The kid was always sleeping somewhere. Tony gently sat next to his head, taking it in his lap. Kids' hair was getting shaggy. He combed the brown locks and massaged the kids scalp. 

Peter hummed in delight. "I love when you do that." He whispered, blush evident on his freckled cheeks. 

Tony rolled his eyes and smiled. "I know." He said cockily. Peter only giggled more, making music to his mentor's ears. 

"I'm hungry." Peter complained, he made no effort in moving anytime soon.

"I'll order you some food later." Tony said, draping his other arm comfortably across Peter's chest. 

Peter sighed. "I'll eat when I wake up." He smiled contently. 

Tony gaped, but didn't stop his hand movements. "I don't see how you need so many naps, all you do is sleep!" He grumbled. 

It was no used, Peter was already asleep and snuggling himself closer to Tony. 

Tony could stay like this- 

 Forever. Tony couldn't live without his son forever. He wouldn't come back from this, he wouldn't move on. He pressed his lips against the boys cold temple, hoping to bring him back. Hoping that it would make his big brown eyes flutter open so Tony could see them sparkle again. He kissed Peter's forehead, then his temple again. Yet, he wasn't moving. Lifeless. He would- 

Blush. Peter blushed when Tony pressed a small kiss into his hairline. "I'm sorry for making you worry." 

Tony pulled Peter into his into a bone-crushing hug, yet it was soft. Peter sighed nuzzled into Tony's next. He curled his small hands into the back of his shirt, making Tony shiver. "I had to get the grey hairs eventually, kid." He tried to shove away the warmth he felt, the absolute adoration for the teenager in his arms. Peter only laughed and hugged him tighter.

"It's a good look on you."  Peter said, chuckling. 

"Shut it, kid." Tony groaned, hiding his big smile. Thiskid- 

He took a deep breath. "I love you too, son." 

I love you in a world that is without you.