Sewer Talk

Deadpool - All Media Types
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Sewer Talk
author
Summary
The boys have to make a sewer getaway

Tony sat with his back against the wall, one arm leaning on a slightly raised leg while the other was busy with a smartphone casually being tapped on. He ignored the intense stare on him.

“Honestly, we are trapped and you are checking your bank stats…”

“Nope…”

“Then what?”

“You will see in time.”

The rough voiced Wade grumbled annoyed at the ice cold demeanor of his fellow mercenary.

“How did they even trap you, you are like Paranoiamaster…”

“Now why would I tell you that?”

Tony didn't even look up from the phone, but a quick smirk crossed his lips behind his mask as the images loaded, glancing over them before he tucked the phone away and got up.

“I hate these guys…”

“I know Wilson…”

He stopped near the corner under the camera that was watching them, crouching down and knocking the floor on a few places till he found what he was looking for. He lifted his head  to make eye contact with Wade.

“Do you have any explosives they didn't get?”

“You know me too well…”

Tony smirked, nodding as he took out his knife. He carved an X in a small spot before walking back to the wall he was sitting at before and sliding down again.

“I leave that part up to you then, small charge should do it… sewer road trip escape, just like old times.”

“How romantic Tony, a sewer walk, I love your date plans”

Tony shrugged as he watched Wade place the explosives before Wade ran to him, placing himself over Tony to shield him from the blast just in case. Tony held onto Wade instinctively when he felt his weight press down on him, his eyes slipping closed as he tensed when the sound of the explosion hit his ears .

He shoved  Wade off of him as soon  as it was over – classy, he knew that – but they were in a hurry since he doubted the people in charge were gonna let ‘em walk out easy.

“Why did you even get targeted by these anti-mutants...you're not a mutant.”

“I am so!”

“Wilson, it's no secret that you got your powers from a bottle…”

“Ruuuude,  don't you care about medical confidentiality?”

“No, not really… mister living shield.”

“Next time I am letting you blow up with the floor...GROSS”

Tony rolled his eyes as Wade practically  dove in the hole only to complain about what sounded like a pretty decent splash in water containing stuff Tony rather not think about. So Tony grabbed the edge of the hole using a move he stole from a certain wall-crawler to land on the maintenance border path of the large sewage tunnel.

“Stop being so damn perfect!”

“Stop acting like an amateur…”

“You realize I can splash you with this?”

“Stop wasting time unless you can pull a machine-gun out of your ass to take out those morons if they get here before we are far enough in this tunnel net…”

“You...memorised the sewer net?”

“I am always prepared for at least two doom scenarios…”

He walked along the path calmly, taking plenty of turns, hushing Wade whenever he got too loud, halting when they reached a ladder for a manhole cover that should be besides an abandoned warehouse.

“Still light out for half an hour, let's wait for nightfall…”

“What you got vampire powers now too? You gotta stop copying crappy movies Tony…”

It took all of Tony’s self-control to not dunk Wade head first into the sewer water, but he managed to simply lean against the wall as he watched Wade darkly.

“I have a clock and a good memory Wilson…”

“Fine, fine, … so you didn't tell me how did they catch Mr-always-prepared...?”

“I was looking for you…”

Wade was silent as he let that sink in, sitting on the disgusting ground since his suit was soaked anyway, his hands tapping his belt buckle nervously every now and then  as he watched Tony.

“Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Why were you looking for me?”

“You didn’t show up to your usual Tuesday karaoke…”

“How do you even know about that, creepy stalker…”

“Oi, I happen to go to that place for a drink from time to time, so I noticed…”

“I haven’t seen you there you liar.”

Tony growled behind his mask, kicking some water in Wade’s direction at his accusations. He was losing his patience for  it.

“Unlike you Wilson I know how to blend in…”

“Asshole…”

“Manchild”

“Wannabe cap.”

“Spider-fan-boy”

“That’s not an insult, but a fact, you play the game wrong…”

Tony sighed in irritation , looking back at his clock in an agitated manner, when he noticed Wade stood up.

“I am starting to think you care about me Tony, you appear to be the only one who notices when I disappear. I heard about how you drilled Alex to try and find out if I was in there… I am sure you care…”

“I don’t care, not even a little Wade, you are competition I just…”

Wade sighed as he moved closer to Tony in the narrow dry area making him block him off in an annoyed manner.

“You sure? Since your actions keep telling me the exact opposite Tony…”

“I can’t afford to care…”

Wade narrowed his eyes at those words, forcing himself closer to Tony, till the latter had himself pressed tight against the mossy sewer wall.

“Whatcha talkin bout Willis…”

“Bad things happen to the people that people like us care about Wilson…”

“We are big boys, some of the biggest bad-asses around, Tasky…”

Tony shoved him so hard it threw Wade back into the shallow sewer water while he launched himself up the ladder and out of the sewer.

“I refuse to take such a risk.’

His words were followed by the manhole cover falling shut again while Wade was left sputtering and shuddering in the sewage.