For the past month Tony's been wondering why he did it.
Why he kissed Peter, but in the back of his head Tony already knew why he did it.
Tony’s known Peter for about 2 years since Germany and they've gotten closer since then.
Tony admired from afar, he thought he was allowed to do at least that, considering the younger male was always in his lab either doing homework or helping with suit upgrades.
Tony shouldn't have been looking though he had Pepper, he was engaged to her for christ sakes, he shouldn't have been looking at Peter the way he should have been looking at Pepper, but Tony was and he didn't honestly feel guilty about it, it was just glances.
The feelings with Pepper just weren't there anymore, but they were there with Peter, because why wouldn't they be? Peter was smart, funny, caring, and so fucking handsome, he doesn't really know when it started, maybe a couple months after the vulture incident when Tony started to pay more attention to how Peter was doing, what he was doing.
But Tony guesses the moment he was really screwed was when he was searching:
“what's the age of consent in New York”
Though, Tony thinks, maybe it was best I kissed him then I wouldn't have been able to pretend for much longer, he should just go to Peter's apartment,Tony thinks, it wouldn't be hard and with the information that his aunt is barely around anymore it wouldn't be hard to just knock on the door and explain, he wouldn't have to worry that Peter's aunt would wonder what Tony was doing there and what he wanted to talk to Peter about.
Tony leaned back in his chair, thinking about what had happened, Tony had been thinking about it alot he doesn't know why considering it only leaves an aching feeling in his heart but Tony does and he's doing it again.
___________
“Hey Mr. Stark” Peter said walking in through the door with his usual cheery smile.
“How's your aunt?” Tony watched as Peter sat his stuff down on the table and sat himself down next onto a stool.
“she's okay,” Peter sighed “she's barely around though, she had to get another job” Peter gave a small -sad?- smile and went to dig for his homework putting his school bag on the workshop table with a banging sound.
That's usually how their conversations went until about an hour or two passed and Peter was done with his homework, they would do their separate things both of them fine with the easy atmosphere. But Tony wanted to keep talking, wanted to hear more of Peters voice.
“you know, Peter,” Tony paused taking a minute to put down his tools and look over at the boy who was already staring at him “you've been in High School all this time, yet you've never mentioned a crush? You got a girlfriend? Boyfriend maybe?”
Peter never got into what went on at school, they just never talked about it, it never seemed like Peter was interested in talking about school related things he would always shy away when something about school was mentioned and Tony never pushed to talk about it.
Tony watched as Peter shrug and look back down at his homework
“I mean..there’s this girl, she's older than me-”
“how much older than you?” Tony interrupted shifting a little bit closer towards Peter.
“um I don't know?” Tony caught onto the lie quickly and stood up walking over to Peter bring the stool he was sitting on before with him sitting himself back down once he was right beside Peter.
“I see,” Tony says slowly “do you two talk a lot?” Tony couldn't say his blood didn't start to boil when Peter nodded, although, he thinks, he did ask.
“she's really nice, I mean she can be but I know she cares about me, I like her alot.. but it's..it’s one-sided she's got someone else” Peter had said the last part so slowly Tony almost thought Peter was going to cry.
“but.. you like her?”
Peter nodded slowly, he seemed unsure though for what Tony didn't know but at the same time Tony wasn't really sure if his blood was boiling from jealousy or anger, he wanted to be the one that Peter felt for but he also didn't get how someone wouldn't choose Peter if given the chance either.
Peter started to shift in his seat and Tony watched as Peter turned and started to put his homework away into his backpack not looking at Tony once.
“I think I'm gonna leave Mr. Stark..”
Tony didn't think Peter would leave over this, he didn't want Peter to leave over this, over some girl that didn't even fucking love him.
“Peter”
Tony reached out a hand wanting to grab the Peters hand but instead grabbed his arm and gripped it hardly and only loosened his hold when he heard a pained whimper from Peter.
Watching as Peter turned his body slightly to look at him with confusion in his eyes maybe a little bit of fear, which didn't do anything to cool Tony’s jealousy much less his anger because why would Peter be afraid of him?
Tony stood, the stool making a loud noise dragging against the floor, and grabbed Peters other arm and pulling, making him face him fully both of them standing in silence both of Tony's hand still firmly on Peters arms until Tony let's go of one of Peters arms and placed it on his cheek instead.
God, finally being able to touch Peter so intimately felt like pure bliss, until it wasn't and Peter was slapping the hand that was on his cheek away and trying to shake the other one on his arm off.
“what the hell are you doing? You're engaged!” Peter said, stumbling back Tony catching him by the waist before he could fall back and could hurt his back when possibly taking the stool down with him.
Tony took the chance of Peter trying to regain his balance and moved his hand from his waist to cup Peters face and leaned down a little lightly putting his lips on top of Peters, kissing him.
For a moment Peter was kissing back and it seemed like he would make the kiss deeper but the next moment Peter was slapping Tony's hands off his face, pushing him away and running out of the workshop with his bag in his hand.
___________
Tony would rather not remember the rejection, he wished he didn't but it was there and it was something that was usually in his dreams when Tony actually went to sleep instead of staying up and hoping he would get a call or a text from Peter, but neither came.
Tony wanted to drown himself in alcohol, but he couldn't because that would result in Pepper asking him what's wrong, his mood had already changed and being drunk would definitely result in that and he wasn't a good liar so what was he supposed to say “I kissed a barely legal seventeen year old kid and he rejected me so I want to forget by getting drunk”.
Definitely not.
Tony doubted Pepper would be happy about that, not that he cares about what she thought, and he wasn't concerned about the cops, they couldn't do anything because Peter was legal at least in the state of New York and it's not like they did anything sexual.
But he didn't want to have to keep calling, he only sent three texts but the calls he sent were constant and he didn't feel bad that he was probably blowing the kids phone up because if the kid would just pick up this could all be over with and everything could go back to normal, or as normal as it would get.
Tony sighed, he didn't need to talk to Peter but he so badly wanted to, wanted to tell Peter why he did it, that he wanted him and he hoped Peter felt the same which he knew he didn't because Peter had feelings for a girl and Tony was a man, even if he wasn't it didn't guarantee him that Peter would like him the way Tony did Peter.
But when Peter was describing the girl he liked, he was basically describing Tony the only thing that was different was that he did have feelings for Peter and that he wasn't a girl, the only thing Tony could really hope for that Peter didn't hate him.
He thought about fixing himself a drink, something light that wouldn't get him drunk, but thought against it, he had meetings going on but he didn't really want to go to those either so instead he chose a better option, or at least one that was better to him, he was going to talk to Peter.
___________
“pick me up only when I call you to”
An annoyed “yeah, yeah” from happy assured Tony that he was listening.
Happy was the one who was dealing with most of Tony's shit before and since the incident with Peter, but he’s been getting a lot more annoyed lately and Tony couldn't blame him.
Tony checked his watch 11:03 he had a meeting in an hour so he'd probably have to tell Pepper or maybe he'd just leave it and let her figure it out herself that he wouldn't be coming, just because he was feeling lazy.
Pressing the elevators button that went to Peter's floor, what am I even going to say?, he thought, obviously he would apologize because Peter didn't want to kiss him whether or not it seemed like he was kissing him back, it was obvious Peter hadn't wanted Tony to kiss him.
The elevator made a small ding sound and the doors parted and Tony walked out passing by apartment doors until he reached Peters.
Tony adjusted his tie before knocking a couple times, Tony could hear music coming from the other side which wasn't surprising because if him and Peter weren't talking while working Peter was listening to music and Tony was tinkering.
Tony heard the footsteps coming to open the door and watched it open and saw Peter standing there in sweatpants, and he didn't have a shirt on, Tony inwardly groaned he should've just stayed at home.
“Mr. Stark?” Peter said surprised, Tony almost thought he was going to close the door on him.
“Peter,” Tony nonchalantly replied digging his hand into his pockets “Can I come in?”
A slight nod of the head from Peter made Tony almost sigh in relief but he didn't he needed to keep it cool, so Tony casually walked into the apartment when Peter moved aside to let him in, Peter slowly closed the door, and turned towards Tony hesitantly.
“So,” Tony started.
“I’m guessing you wanted to say you're sorry?”
“Not really”
“What?”
“I mean I'm sorry just- just not really, I'm not really sorry”
Jesus, Tony thought, I'm a genius but I don't even know how to properly apologize.
“that's- that's disgusting, and it's wrong” Peter almost looked hurt when the words came out of his mouth which confused Tony, he didn't really get how Peter was the hurt one in this mess.
“I know and I'm sorry but Peter it's really hard to get you out of my head and it's been even harder this past month” Tony said desperately, taking a step forward towards Peter only to watch Peter take a step back away from him.
“it's still wrong, Mr. Stark” Peter said, looking anywhere other than Tony.
“I know” Tony replies quietly.
Silence enveloped the room it wasn't comfortable but it wasn't necessarily awkward either but Tony’s hands still started to fidget in his pockets.
“Can I kiss you?” He asks. Peter hesitates to reply.
“Why- why would I let you do that?” Tony shrugs at the question.
“it's just a kiss Peter, if my first kiss I gave you didn't mean anything, why should my second? If it didn't my kiss didn't mean anything then what's the big deal?” He wants one more kiss, one more before whatever this is ends and Peter stops coming to Stark Tower and stops talking to him and as smart as Peter is he's probably stupid enough to fall for his words.
Peter hesitated again looking conflicted and Tony watched as he started to fidget.
“I- just one?” Peter asked.
“just one” Tony confirmed, and Peter nodded slowly a soft and quiet ‘okay’ falling from his mouth.
Tony strode towards Peter, clapping his hands on Peter’s hips pulling him a little bit closer towards himself and slowly lowered his head down to meet Peters.
It was the same as the first kiss Tony gave Peter, except for the fact that Tony was greedier this time, biting down on Peters lip so he could slip his tongue in, despite the slight protest from the younger man.
Tony backed Peter up against the door, only a few little steps away from where Peter originally was, and put his knee in between Peters legs- and Tony felt what he hoped he would feel rubbing against his knee.
Peter was hard.
Tony let Peter go, almost causing him to drop onto the floor, and the older male made no move to help him, but only slouched onto the door rubbing his mouth over his arm.
“Y’know Peter, you getting hard because of my “disgusting kiss” makes you a little disgusting too” Tony says smugly, he received a small glare in response.
“leave me alone”
“Why should I? You've ignored me for the past month, and called me disgusting, why the fuck should I leave you alone?” Tony should do what Peter said, he should leave, but he wanted to know why Peter hated kissing him that much yet still get hard.
“Do you really want me to leave Peter? I know how strong you are, you could just throw me out yourself” Tony bit out.
“Please just go, Mr. Stark”
Tony huffed, he wasn't going to leave, he was being irrational, Tony knew, but whether it was hormones or not, Peter had gotten a boner from his kiss after calling him disgusting, Tony wanted Peter to admit something, whether it be what he wanted to hear or not.
“Do you like me?”
“I'm straight” Peter said, although it seemed more like he was trying to convince himself other than Tony.
“Really? Because I doubt that Peter, I think you only think I'm disgusting because you keep wanting to convince yourself that you don't like me or at the fucking least are attracted to me” Tony was grabbing onto Peters shoulders now watching as the boy slightly trembled under his touch, it wasn't a tight grip and even if it was Peter could get out of it yet he stayed put letting Tony shout at him.
“Mr. Stark- Tony please stop and leave” Peter sobbed, and Tony slightly let up on his grip sighing.
“Just tell me the truth Peter, is it disgusting because I'm engaged and a man? Or is it disgusting because you'd rather say that then admit you're gay? I really need to know” Tony asked quietly, dropping his head onto the crook of Peters neck.
“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called you that” It wasn't an exact answer of what Tony wanted to hear but it was good enough, he knew which one Peter meant. But it still wasn't over, Peter was going to make it up to him, Tony thought.
Tony let go of Peter, looking at try younger male still being gripped by his shoulders. Some of Peter's curls had fallen over his face and Tony now noticed the faint tear streaks that adorned Peters cheeks, Tony almost forgot the fact that Peter was still shirtless.
“You'll make it up to me right Peter?” Tony drawled, sliding his hand down to Peters waist rubbing circles with his thumb.
“What?”
“You'll make it up to me. Take me to your room?” a slight nod and then Tony was being lightly pushed off the younger male and being led to his room instead, it was practically the same except there was more technology laying around and last time he saw the room Peter didn't have a bunk bed.
“Can I have your phone?” Tony asked, pushing Peter to sit down on the bottom bunk of the bed while he stayed standing.
“Why?” Peters replies skeptically, reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone anyway but not yet handing it over.
“Give it to me Peter” Tony's tone made it clear that it wasn't a yes or no option, or an option at all, and Peter hurriedly gave the phone to Tony who took it and slid his thumb on the screen, happy to find that Peter didn't have a password so he wouldn't have to waste any time asking for Peter's password.
“face away from me, and get on all fours” Tony commanded, his eyes were still on Peters phone searching for the app that he needed but he could hear the ruffling of sheets so he didn't have to waste anytime to make sure Peter was doing what he asked.
When Tony found the app that he wanted, which wasn't hard considering it was one of the very first apps to be shown on the screen, and he clicked it and moved over to RECENTS on the phone and Tony could see all the the times he had called on Peters phone.
Tony walked over a tiny bit until he was behind Peter, Peters ass in front of him and Tony had to resist the urge to just tug down Peters pants and underwear and just fuck him but he wanted to make this last, but he needed to make sure they wouldn't be interrupted anytime soon.
“Peter how long is your aunt going to be gone?” Tony asked his hands going to both sides of Peters hips, pulling Peter against him and grinding his hard on against Peters ass.
“A-Around 12 AM I think” Peter stammered his hands were grasping the bed sheets tightly.
“Good”
Tony’s hands traveled slightly under Peters pants and underwear pulling them both down as far as they would go with Peter on all fours and backed away slightly, Tony was salivating at the sight of Peters ass.
Hands moved from Peters ass to Tony’s belt and his eyes moving from Peters ass to Peters phone, which he did almost forget about, Tony undid his belt first keep it in his left hand while his right hand reached for Peters phone.
“Peter stay still for punishment okay?”
The phone was put back down in a place where Tony would be able to see the screen from the bed, taking the belt in both of his hands curling one end of the belt to meet the other and switched the belt to his right hand.
“Tony what ar-” the belt came down onto Peters ass harshly interrupting Peters sentence, and Tony watched as Peter helped in pain but not making a move to stop Tony from continuing. 23 more to go, Tony thought.
For the first couple times Peter seemed okay, whimpering from time to time and Tony moans escaping his mouth, but now towards the 20th lash Tony was breaking skin and Peter had tears streaming down his face and he was holding on to the bed sheets even tighter then when they started and he was whimpering and moaning non-stop.
“Shh, baby we’re almost done just 3 more” Tony soothed as if it made the pain any better for Peter.
“Tony- Mr. Stark- please no more” Peter sobbed, and Tony almost stopped. Almost.
“if you had picked up my calls you wouldn't have to be going through this, baby, only two more after this” The belt moved down onto Peters ass again and Peter released another sob burying his face into his bed sheets, which were once neatly made.
More skin broke on the last lash Tony made on Peters ass and Tony watched as Peter trembled, Tony didn't feel guilty about it.
“get on your back baby” it wasn't a command and it wasn't said in the tone he had used to make Peter get on all fours, Tony had said it softly and he hadn't rushed Peter, letting him take his time laying down on his back.
“good boy” Tony threw his belt on the floor, pulling down his pants and underwear as well as his vest, tie, and dress shirt after.
“Peter,” Tony paused for a minute making sure he got Peters attention and when Peter looked at him Tony continued, “Do you want me to take off your clothes or will you?” considering Tony had just been whipping him, it seemed like an odd question but Peter shook his head and allowed Tony to take off his shirt and his sweatpants and underwear all the way.
Peters phone had fallen off the bed when Tony had climbed on and not bothered to move it beforehand, instead grabbing Peters legs and moving them apart so he could be in between and have easier access in preparing Peter, but Tony wasn't really expecting to fuck Peter and didn't have any lube so they'd need to fix that so taking one hand off of Peters leg he put it in front of Peters lips.
“Get them wet Peter” Peter let three fingers slip into his mouth twirling his tongue around them getting them wet while Tony watched with lust filled eyes slightly pushing his fingers into Peter's mouth a little bit more.
After deciding that his own fingers were wet enough Tony pulled his hand back and positioned one finger to Peters tight hole, teasing the rim before pushing his finger in slowly.
“It hurts Mr. Stark”
This is only a finger, imagine my cock, Tony thinks to himself chuckling.
“It'll feel better in a minute don't worry” that was the only reassurance Tony gave before he slipped in his second finger and Tony thinks maybe a bit to earlier when he hears a pained gasp come from Peter and he had an urge to sooth Peter to tell him “It'll be okay” or to go slower but Tony didn't because he wanted to hear them more, pained or not those sounds turned him on.
Thrusting his fingers, Tony looked up slightly to get a look at Peters face, Peter's moans were like music to Tony's ears, but Peters face was even more beautiful each expression he made with each moan.
“Mr. Stark” Peter moans, his back was arching off the bed when Tony curled his fingers hitting Peters prostate.
“Mr. Stark,” Peter whines “Please just put it in already”
“You're not ready Peter” Tony objected, Tony didn't want to hurt Peter as much as he probably already has, Peter could barely take his fingers without saying it hurts and Tony doubted Peter would be able to take his cock.
“I don't care..” Tony almost didn't hear Peter mumble that but he did and Tony sighed taking his fingers out of Peters hole after a few more thrusts.
Tony responded with a mumbled ‘fine’ before grabbing Peters legs and putting them over his shoulders, Tony spit in his hand and stroked his cock a few times and then aligned his cock with Peters tight hole, pushing the head of his cock in he watched Peters back arch off the bed and his face twist into pain and Tony almost had the urge to stop but he didn't because this was what Peter asked for.
Once Tony’s cock was buried in Peter, he did give Peter a minute to relax and get used to the feeling of Tony’s cock inside of him, Peters hole was clenching his cock and Peter was so tight, and Tony needed a minute to relax or he might come already.
Deciding that Peter was ready, and that he wasn't about to come, Tony retracted his hips and then snapped them forward thrusting in and out of Peter drawing a moans out of Peter to Tony's delight, repeating the action a little more harshly.
Grabbing Peters cock Tony begins pumping, Peters whole body was trembling and Tony wasn't helping.
Tony moaned when Peter clenched down on his cock “feels so good, you feel so good Peter” Tony thrust up into Peter again, Tony thrusts were beginning to slow though and Tony wasn't sure how much longer he was going to last.
“you make me feel good too” Peter admitted, there was a faint smile on Peters lips twisting into a face of pleasure when Tony pinches one of his nipples and Tony leans over to mouth at Peters neck and mark him at least a little bit before what they were doing was over.
“I'm gonna come Tony..” Peter mumbled and he did when he thrust himself back on Tony’s cock, Tony's thrust meeting his, his cum spurting onto his stomach. Tony came not a moment later burying himself inside of Peter and cumming.
Both of them catch their breath for a minute and Tony pulls himself out of Peter some of his cum coming out of Peters hole with his cock and Peter wined at the sudden loss of Tony inside of him while Tony kissed Peters jawline to his lips.
Small but strong hands grasped Tony's shoulders and he stopped to look at Peter, he saw that his lip was trembling, for what Tony didn't know, but Tony let Peter push him to sit down so Peter could sit down with him on his bed.
“s-so what are we?” Peter stammered, he was fidgeting with his fingers looking down at his hands and Tony wondered if he was scared of the answer and if that's why he was trembling.
Tony sighed, “I don't know kid but we’ll figure it out, okay?” Tony responded, He had the urge to comfort Peter but he was horrible at that, and he didn't want to make it worse, though the silence that came after Tony's reply made him wonder if he should've whether he was horrible at it or not.
“Oka-”
“I really want to be with you Peter and I don't have feelings for Pepper, only you but we should at least get dressed before we talk about this okay?” Tony interrupted, he wanted Peter to know that he wanted him and only him and he was pretty sure Peter understood when he received a slight smile on Peters lips.
“Okay”