epilogue
Four days before Christmas break, Gwen unexpectedly walked up to Michelle before second period. She had box in her hand and it was wrapped in golden wrapping paper.
They hadn’t talked since homecoming, and even then it was a little uncomfortable. Michelle had found herself standing next to Gwen, and when neither of them talked for a while, Gwen poked Michelle on the shoulder and said, “You two are really cute together.”
“Wh-- Us? No. He’s just my escort tonight.”
Gwen laughed and, having spotted one of her friends, skipped away from Michelle. And even after she came back to Decathlon, they never said a word to each other, unless Michelle was asking questions to the whole team.
“Hey, MJ,” Gwen quietly said that day. “I’ve gotta head to class quick but-- this is for you.” She holds the golden box out for Michelle to take.
Michelle hesitantly grabs it. “Seriously? Why?”
“Well, my mom’s been telling me a load of horseshit recently about forgiving and forgetting and blah blah blah. But she said one thing that I liked. ‘A life spent hating is a life wasted,’ or whatever. And I just--” Gwen adjusts her posture so she’s standing up straight, and then takes a deep breath. “I’ve missed you, and I don’t feel like hating you. Either of you.”
“Well, uh, thank you. For the gift. And, I’ve missed you, too.” Gwen turned around to leave, but as she did a thought popped into Michelle’s mind. “Gwen, why didn’t you ever tell anyone about Peter being…” Gwen turned around and Michelle mouthed ‘ Spider-Man ’. “It was really great of you that you never did that.”
“About that…” Gwen bit down on her lip and rocked back and forth on her heels. “I tried telling a lot of people that Monday when we came back. A few people seemed to believe me, but then Flash stood up on a table during lunch and shouted ‘There’s no way Parker’s Spider-Man, guys. He can hardly bench press!’ And everyone seemed to agree with him. Seems like Peter didn’t need to keep me around that long, after all.”
“That’s not why, Gwen. He still cares about you.”
“It’s fine, MJ. Really. Anyways, I have physics, so… Have a good break.” Gwen walked backwards a few steps until she waved and turned around.
When Michelle got to English, she delicately unwrapped the present when she sat down. It’s a necklace she always saw in Gwen’s jewelry box, a simple gold chain with a gold outline of a heart hanging off it. Michelle wears it to the next Decathlon practice, and every Decathlon practice after, and Gwen smiles at her every time.
Michelle hasn’t been home since the night Peter found out. Her dad called once, and fear ran through her as soon as she saw the notification, because she thought her week of bliss at the Parker’s was over. He had only called to ask her where the remote was, though.
Peter got most of her clothes and other important things out of her room that weekend. He was there when Michelle picked up the phone, and was sad with her when the only thing her dad cared about was the remote. “That’s it then,” Peter said after a while, “Casa de Parker is now casa de Parker/Jones.”
Michelle finally felt like she was apart of a home, after that. When she sent her early college applications, she wrote down the Parker’s address. She ate dinner with them every night, and no one yelled or threatened. And while she was getting ready for homecoming, May took a photo of Michelle in her dress, which is now on the fridge. There are so many more moments and Michelle can’t wait to reminisce on them all.
The best moment, though, was Christmas. Peter’s jaw dropped when she told him she’d never had a real Christmas before. “We’re pulling out all the stops this year. We have to decorate a tree together, and make cookies for Santa, and stay up until an ungodly hour watching Christmas movies. Oh, and mistletoe.”
“Ha, ha. You’ve never done mistletoe before, Parker.”
Peter crosses his legs on the couch. “Okay, but this year could be the year we start a new tradition.” He leans forward enough for their lips to graze, but Michelle pulls back before the gap between them completely closes.
“Maybe,” she says slyly, and grabs for the bowl of chips on the coffee table.
They did everything Peter suggested, even mistletoe. (Which Aunt May loved, because she’d give sloppy, embarrassing kisses on the cheek whenever Ned was over.) They decorated the tree, but Michelle found it boring and overhyped, and when they made the cookies she let Peter do all the work while she sat on the counter and ate the dough. Everything felt right, though, like this was where Michelle is supposed to end up after all these years of misery.
“Let’s do this again next year,” she lets slip out as she sticks another spoonful of cookie dough in her mouth.
“Next year?” Peter’s body stiffens and he cranes his neck around to look at her. “There’s going to be a next year?”
Shit . Did she really say that? “Um, I mean, I don’t know. The world might end soon, so, who really knows.” Michelle hopes the world ends now, because she really didn’t mean to tell Peter that.
He turns around so she can see his face. He’s smiling. Peter puts his hands on the sides of her knees when he walks up to her. “I mean, I hope there’s a next year. I really want to do this again.” When he leans in for a kiss, she doesn’t move away.
Officially, they are “boyfriend/girlfriend.” They will sometimes hold hands during class, and Michelle is just now comfortable enough to let Peter kiss her on the cheek when they go separate ways during school. It didn’t happen right away, after that night, though. He told her, “I love you,” and she responded, “I think you can put the macaroni in the water, now.”
After that, he was kind of distant. Peter never outright avoided her, but she felt like she used to see him in the hallways a lot more before. And although coldly, he still talked to her, and still sat next to her on the couch, provided there was five feet between them at all times.
Things didn’t start up again between them until one night when Peter was late for curfew. Since he had given Michelle his room (which she felt incredibly guilty about, by the way,) he woke her up when he crawled through the window.
Michelle didn’t bother to open her eyes, but she sheepishly yawned, “Hey, Peter.”
“Oh, shit. Did I wake you? Sorry, M.” She heard him press the button on his suit and then him trying to get out of it quietly. Peter opened a drawer, took something out of it, then said, “Goodnight, MJ.”
“Wait, get back here, Parker.” Michelle pushed herself up with her hands so she was sitting up and leaned over to turn the light on. For a second, she got distracted. He hadn’t put on his sweatshirt yet, so he was just standing there, shirtless, with those abs. “I have a question for you,” she eventually said.
“I’m an open book,” he lied, and they both knew it.
“Are you mad at me because I didn’t say it back? Last week. You know what I’m talking about.”
Peter twirled the sweatshirt in his hands. “No, I’m not mad. If I was mad, that would be ridiculous. You just don’t l-- And it’s cool. I’m not mad. Is that all? I’m tired.” He rushed his words and went to grab the door handle.
Where the courage came from, Michelle still doesn’t know. Maybe it’s from finally knowing what love really is, after experiencing it in its purest form, and knowing now that what she feels for him is real. “Peter, I-- I do, though. Love you,” she quickly spits out, because if she didn’t do it then, she probably never would have.
“What?” he croaked out, his grasp on the doorknob slowly becoming weaker. “You-- You what?”
Michelle brings her knees to her chest and holds them close to her, like they will protect her from the blow if, all of a sudden, Peter changed his mind and didn’t want to be with her. “I… love you. I’m in love with you.” And when she said it again, she realized how much she wished to go back in time. Michelle wanted to be with Peter. She had never wanted anything more, but… But, Gwen .
There was no going back, though. As soon as Peter smiled at her, Michelle was gone. He cautiously walked over to the bed, grinning ear to ear. “Seriously?”
She rolled her eyes. “No, you’re on Punk’d . Ashton Kutcher, come on out!” Peter sat at the end of her feet, and when he looked at her like that , she immediately softened. “Yes, Peter. I love you. It’s impossible not--”
Peter didnt let her finish her sentence, and he placed his hand on her knee and pressed his lips against her’s. “I love you, too,” he says, only a small gap between them. She lengthened her legs out, and Peter adjusts himself so he’s in between them. With one hand caressing her face and another on her left thigh, he kisses her again. And again, so much so that Michelle was convinced she was dreaming.
They didn’t tell anyone until Homecoming. Well, they told Ned and May, but they aren’t ‘anyone.’ Ned freaked out and stubbed his toe while running around the apartment screaming, “And you just thought I was annoying when I told you to get back together. I knew this would happen! I knew it!”
Peter and Michelle wore matching outfits, maroon and gold, and even though she refused to dance, there was one song where he made her. Of course, a slow dance, and he kissed her, even though she told him no PDA at school. Michelle didn’t really mind.
And despite May telling them to stay in separate rooms, Peter always found a way to sleep in the same bed as Michelle. May definitely knew, that Michelle can guarantee, but she never said anything. Michelle’s grateful for that. Falling asleep in Peter’s arms, and waking up to a gentle kiss on the cheek-- those are the best feelings in the world to Michelle. She hates to imagine a time when she doesn’t get to experience that.
Peter tells her he loves her at random times. He once passed a note during an English exam that read: Hey, MJ. I love you. Good luck on your test. Love, Peter . Other times include when she’s silently reading a book, or she sarcastically calls him stupid while doing homework, or on Christmas Eve, when she’s yelling at him to just pick a damn movie already.
“I appreciate that you want my first Christmas Marathon to be special, but fuck, Peter. We’ve been sitting here for thirty minutes and you need to--”
Peter throws his arm around Michelle and pulls her close. “I love you,” he whispers, almost like he can’t believe he’s able to tell her, and then finally presses play on A Christmas Story . “It’s a classic. You’re going to love it.”
And even though she hears it all the time, every single day, Michelle’s cheeks still blush when she hears it. She will say it back sometimes, like on nights that feel important, because she still isn’t comfortable with shouting it from the rooftops like he is. She said it to him at homecoming, for example. And tonight.
“I love you, too, Peter.” Michelle rests her head on the curve of his neck and watches the majority of the movie like that.
After the movie, Peter says to her something about a surprise. He gets up off the couch and opens a drawer in the kitchen. “I hid it in here because you’ve never opened this the whole time you’ve been here. And, you might get mad,” he pulls out two yellow envelopes and starts walking over to her, “But, May only told me about these this morning.”
He hands her one of the envelopes. It’s her Columbia acceptance letter. They both applied there, and not because they actively chose colleges to be close to one another, but because it was in both of their top ten. The weird thing is most of their top ten schools were the same, so the chance of getting into the same school was high. However, she never actually thought they would go to school together next year. Not until now.
Michelle prays quickly that they both got in. “On three?” she asks as she plays with the corner of the envelope.
Peter nods. “One… two… three.”
They both quickly rip into it. Michelle cleanly opens it undamaged, but Peter just ripped the top off to get the letter in his hand quicker. She smiles to herself, because he’s such a dork, and her nerves grow because Peter is her dork, and she doesn’t want to part with him. Then, Michelle takes out her letter, and doesn’t read past the first line.
“I got in,” Michelle says, her smile taking over her whole face. She looks up to Peter, who looks stoic. Her palms begin to sweat. “Peter?”
He glances up, and begins to laugh. “Me too.”
“You asshole!” she screams, and pushes him back when he tries to kiss her. “I thought you didn’t get in.”
“Can you not live without me, M?” Peter teases her, and his nose brushes against her’s. She pushes him back again.
Michelle flips him off. “Who even knows if I’m going to accept? If I’m accepted into Harvard…”
“Come on, I’m kidding.” Peter takes Michelle’s hand and rubs it with his thumb. He tilts his head, and with stars in his eyes, he dreamily says, “You know it’s me who can’t live without you. I’ll follow you anywhere.” And she knows he’s telling the truth, and it worries her. Michelle would give Peter the world if she could, but she can’t. She wants so much for him.
“I guess Columbia is fine.” Michelle moves a piece of hair on Peter’s face and then, with her hand on his neck, brings his face close to her’s. “I love you,” she tells him for the second time tonight before finally kissing him.
They put on another movie, but it’s just background noise. Peter plans out their future, where they’re going to live together off campus and when they graduate they’re going to get a dog and etcetera, and Michelle couldn't help but smile the whole time. She’s never been happier.
Maybe they stay together. Maybe they get married, and have a few kids that they both love with their whole heart, and they are both successful in their careers. But, maybe Peter goes out one night to stop a robbery and he never comes back. Maybe they have a horrible break-up and then Michelle has no one. There are so many things that could happen in the future that it makes Michelle want to go numb.
Right now, though, they’re still in high school. They’re in an apartment in Queens that’s more of a home than any house can be, and after a year, Michelle Jones has finally allowed herself to be in love with Peter Parker. She hates that she didn’t let herself do it before, but before doesn’t matter. The future doesn’t matter. Right now is what she cares about. And right now, all she wants to do is kiss the boy she loves.