He entered the conference room with uncertain steps. everything felt cold, out of place..it's like, something was missing..something big..he couldn't do anything, couldn't think of anything to do..it felt like he was back in the ice..everything was frozen..time was passing so slowly you would've thought it has been stopped.he has never been this alone..never felt this lonely..yes there were still people..friends actually but the family wasn't complete anymore..he took some more steps and he was in the room..he went to the seat that belonged to the leader ..fury ..tony..
Seating there, looking at his friends' faces when half of them were gone was...well let's say he prefers to be dead..gone to ashes, instead of being here...ALONE..but like other times the cruel world had kept him alive..chose him to be the one who has to stay and lead..God, it FELT like the ice ...everything felt familiar and not in a good way...
His throat was dry ...he didn't know what to say..is there even anything left to say? everyone was frozen..no one dared to say anything..they were all busy, fighting in their own mind...
-"we...we have to do something.." it was Nat's voice that broke the ice..but even SHE was at loss...
-"there's nothing to do...they're all gone.."
Clint said..coldly...
again everything was quiet...
He couldn't bear this silence anymore..he was sure if he stayed here any more second he would lose what was left of his mind..he got up suddenly and went to the door,he was about to open it and run out when Bruce's voice stopped him..he sounded angry..not hulk's way angry but like offended and betrayed and...
-"Steve..." he almost shouted
He turned around..his face, blank...
-"we should do something.." he tried with a calmer voice...
-"what?." he kinda whispered..he didn't have the strength anymore..he didn't wanna be the leader anymore .. he was tired..he wanted to go a peaceful sleep and never wake up...
-"something...I don't know...anything...it's been a month..we haven't done a thing..we're just sitting here and do nothing..."
-"there is nothing to do...they're gone.."
-"no...you don't know that...We don't know that..they might be alive.. somewhere..I..we gotta keep going..keep searching...." he was too unsure..begging for a way a solution anything that would bring their friends back...
-"where should we start?..what exactly should we do?..they're gone..you know that your self," he yelled...
-"so what? even if they're dead?..we can't just sit and do nothing..we gotta DO something.." he was so angry and well an angry bruce always ends up with hulk and smash and let's say it wasn't really the time for the hulk to show up...
-"Bruce.." client stood up and tried to calm his friend...
-"no clint...listen to me...WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING..we're the freaking Avengers...we win or we get revenge..and it's been a long time since we've done any of that.."Steve didn't want to hear more..couldn't..he knew it was all his fault, he knew that if they've been here in the time of the attack, then they had more chance. he knew that if he was here then Tony wouldn't be alone..wouldn't have to go and chase them to space ALONE. he knew that if he was here then Tony wouldn't be...he couldn't say the word..couldn't think of it ..there was this aching in his heart that wouldn't go away and every time someone said his name or every time he saw his picture on the news, the aching became more ...so much more he couldn't breath..so much more he felt dizzy. some days were good...he was lucky and no one mentioned his name or the news had more important news to share that they didn't have time to honor their dead hero...
But some days were bad..some days he couldn't sleep at night and when he did, he kept dreaming of him .of the days they've been together ..it was happy at first ,but it soon would fade away in the most horrible way...he would scream and wake up in an empty bed..in his room ..the room they used to share..on those bad days he would cry to the pillow and wait for the restless sleep to take over...he would wait for the cruel nightmares to embrace him..he himself was fading..he looked like a ghost..a shell...he didn't talk ..didn't eat much ..didn't do anything and for once no one was trying to cheer him up.. everyone was just quiet..grieving ...
It was one of those bad days..his eyes were red, reminding that he had been crying and not sleeping..he looked shaken..his hair messy but no one said a thing...they were all in their own mind when the alarm went off..it was like a bomb..so sudden .."there's a space ship..coming to us .."it was Nat's assassin voice ..every one were back on the game mood, or at least were trying to..
spaceship landed or better say crushed to the ground and by the look of it the pilot was a drunk idiot who had a death wish..but whoever it was, Thanos or any other asshole..they were ready for it ..what they weren't ready for ,was a bloody pale Tony Stark to come out of the ship with shaky legs..he was barely standing..
It was three seconds..the first second he laid his eyes on him, he felt his heart stopped..the second one he felt his eyes burning with tears..he couldn't believe it. On the third second he didn't know what or how it happened but he was running to him and suddenly he was only a few steps away from him..he was aware that he was shaking and crying but he didn't care..he couldn't stop..all he wanted was to hug him and never let go..but he was afraid it was just another cruel dream and he would fade away..so he stood still..
"T...Tony.." his voice was barely audible..but he heard it ..and looked at him with those hazel eyes he was dying to see again...
He felt like everything was spinning and his legs couldn't carry his weight anymore..everything was turning black and he couldn't make out the faces of the people who were standing a bit further ...all he could see and focus on was Steve's baby blue eyes and that was enough...HE was enough...he was all he wanted to see..even if it was the last thing he saw..steve's eyes...
One second he was looking at him and the other his eyes were closed and he was about to hit the ground and he WOULD hit the ground if he hadn't caught him..he hugged him tight and bury his face onto his neck.
"it's okay....you're okay...I'm here..."
I'm here...