Chapter One
“For your feelings, there’s no place, but you knew that from the start.”
She tipped back her glass, downing the last drop of wine, and she fell forward laughing at Tom’s strange question. He held her steady with one hand on her lower back; the other running up and down her legs strewn across his lap.
“Is this some type of test? If I pick the wrong name, you’ll leave before we even started?” she teased, avoiding answering his question. He grinned and ran a hand through his messy, brown curls.
“No, love, I’m just curious, I swear!” Tom raised up his hands in defense as if surrendering.
“Mhmm. What, you’re jumping from no strings attached to naming our future kids? You make no sense to me, Tommy,” she accused him and put emphasis on his nickname that only she called him. Tom’s face paled a little at her words; it was true that he avoided entangling emotions when it came to them. He couldn’t risk heartbreak or any of the other drama that often came with relationships. But, in all honesty, Tom and Y/N meant more to each other than both cared to admit. She hid her feelings deep down afraid that if she showed him them he’d bail. He felt the same and worried about a girl holding him back from his future acting career.
“Well, if you’re gonna avoid the question, I’ll answer. I’d name him Dominic after my dad,” he played it off. She bit back a smile at his wholehearted honesty; that’s what she admired about him the most. He wasn’t afraid to show the world the real Tom. She felt bubbly and switched glasses with him finishing the last of his wine as he pouted in protest.
“Dance with me,” she commanded, stepping up and pulling him with her. She pulled him in closer, and he twirled her around, then slid his hands down to her waist.
“We don’t even have any music, darling,” he chuckled at her spontaneity. She was fun and outgoing: exactly the kind of girl he wanted to keep around.
“Then sing for me, love,” she mimicked his accent terribly bringing a smile to his face. His eyes lit up with that look she knew too well when he was planning something.
“You want me to sing?” he repeated back to her, as if, making sure she knew what she was in for. She tilted her head to the side suspicious and nodded slowly.
“Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider ca-” he got cut short by her loud laughter, and she shoved him away from her grasp. She walked into the kitchen to refill her glass with a brand new bottle, and Tom made a tsking sound from behind her.
“Problem?” she asked sarcastically putting her hand on her hip and looking Tom deep in his chocolatey brown eyes.
“No, no problem, just an observation,” he calculated infuriating her even more.
“Oh, and what would that be?” she responded coldly and moved closer to him.
“You get a little crazy when you drink, princess,” he snickered, and her face blushed pink. He broke the space between them and pressed his smooth lips to hers. This caused her knees to buckle, and it wiped away any memory of being irritated at him. He backed away from her touch, and something felt different; she scanned him up and down until she noticed he had stolen her glass of wine.
“Hey!” she shouted, grabbing for the glass, but he held it above her head as she leaped on top of him which caused the glass to shatter on the ground beside them.
“See what I mean? Crazy!” he grinned, and she buried her head in his chest giggling. Her chest burned after a while, and she gradually moved her gaze to look back into his eyes. The alcohol in her system removed any filter she had and made her feel courageous.
“Sometimes you make it really hard to love you, Tommy,” she smiled. He laughed in response for a brief second until her words really set in. His expression turned blank, and it took her even longer to comprehend what she had just said. Her smile faded away; fear and nervousness took over her body. She cleared her throat waiting for him to say something, anything. He just lifted her off of him and stood up to brush himself off.
“T-tom?” she shakily asked, still waiting for him to speak. She hurried over, stumbling a little as she moved, because of the alcohol that made it extremely difficult. He didn’t make any eye contact with her and pulled up his sleeve to check his watch; the action alone sent panic through her. His jaw clenched, and he finally looked back at her.
“I didn’t sign up for this shit!” he harshly spat, and it felt like a slap in the face to Y/N. She took a step backward away from him expecting him to quickly apologize for his rude remark. He didn’t. Instead, he brushed past her avoiding eye contact and reached to grab his keys. She moved quickly to place her hand on top of his in an attempt to stop him from leaving.
“I-I’m drunk! Of course, I didn’t mean that. We don’t love each other. I know that now come on, let's forget about that and head to my bedroom,” she stammered, while she put on her best fake smile. She slid her other hand to his neck craning it to move down, so she could kiss him. He swerved his head in the opposite direction and tightened his grip on his keys.
“Don’t touch me, liar!” he snapped. She didn’t want to let go, but this new side of Tom scared her. So, she pulled both her hands into her chest. Her lips trembled, her eyes filled with tears, and she wished with everything that this was just another one of his pranks.
He headed for the door without a second thought, and she let out a quiet gasp when he opened it to leave. Tom turned his head and gave her one last look; this time his expression seemed more sorry and pitiful than mad. He hardened his gaze and turned his back on her leaving without a goodbye.
Tom almost tripped sprinting down the stairs of her apartment building; he couldn’t breathe, and he desperately needed fresh air. Once he was outside, he let out an audible breath and ran a shaky hand through his hair trying to think about what he had just done. More like, why had he done what he did? It was all too perfect, and leave it to him to ruin a perfect thing. He had tried to fool himself into thinking what they had was just meaningless sex and messing around. The thought of opening himself up and being honest about his feelings for her made him feel anxious. He needed to think away from her; he needed some control over things. He felt the most control when he was boxing at the gym, so he made a break for it.
Y/N stared at the slammed door. She was frozen to her spot feeling so lost she couldn’t even blink. What had just happened? Her head felt fuzzy, numb, and raw like someone just ripped off a band-aid. She smirked at the thought; band-aids don’t fix bullet holes. The feelings Tom and she shared for each other are like a bleeding wound, and they just stick a quick fix on it with the idea of “not looking for love only looking for sex”. It was so apparent to her now, it was only a matter of time before one of them let their true colors slip, and she was just the first one to do so.
Her fingers trembled as she scrolled through her phone landing on a number Tom put in and told her to call in case of an emergency.
‘Harrison.’ It read.
Not thinking clearly, she pressed the call button forgetting that it was close to midnight; she was still drunk and depressed.
“Hello?” a confused voice answered.
“Um, hi, I don’t really know why I’m calling this number, but Tom gave me it just in case something bad happens. This is bad, but I don’t know if it’s what he meant by bad; you know, as I’m talking I’m realizing how crazy this is, so I should just hang up. I’m sorry,” she rambled on uneasily.
“Wait! Just breathe. Tom gave you this number? You must be Y/N then,” he concluded.
“H-how did you know that?” she wondered aloud.
“I’m coming over, yeah? It’ll be okay,” Harrison replied.
“What? How do you even know where I live? Just, nevermind, it’s fine,” she said, trying to convince him that it wasn’t that bad of a problem.
“I’ll be there soon,” he firmly responded, ignoring her pitiful attempts at covering up the situation. Then he hung up the phone, and she slid down against the wall to the floor beyond confused. If Tom didn’t care then why would this man know her name and where she lived?
Tom.
Just the thought of his name reminded her of what she said to him, and how he just swept her off like what they had was nothing! That's what it was supposed to be from the start: nothing. She shouldn’t have let it get that far, but she did; now, she was paying the price. She held herself tight and sobbed on the floor of her kitchen where it seemed like just a minute ago they were having another perfect night.
A loud knock interrupted her reminiscing. She was too scared to open the door, so she just sat there rigid and decided to pretend she wasn’t there. She held her breath and tried to keep back the sobs. The doorknob began to turn, and she cursed when she realized the door was unlocked.
A guy stepped in, and she was taken aback. He had a strong build, tousled brown hair, and light blue eyes that demanded attention.
“G-get out! I don’t know you, and I said it was f-fine!” she stammered, trying to sound cool and collected. He bent down to get to her eye level, and he reached his hands to hold hers. She took his hand before she even knew what she was doing. She didn’t know him, but she remembered seeing his face all the time in pictures with Tom.
“Y/N, Tom talks a lot about you; he also gave me your number and address in case something went wrong. So, I came here right away; it’s what he would want me to do,” Harrison reassured her.
“I don’t know anymore; he hates me now, and he called me a liar! I’m drunk! I didn’t mean it; I don’t love him. I know, I’m not supposed to do that,” she babbled out the story. He wrapped a sturdy arm around her and lifted her off the ground walking in the direction of where he assumed her room was.
“I mean it- I don’t love him! You can tell him that; I’m serious,” she continued to persuade him. They reached her room, and he started to lay her down under the covers on her mattress.
“If you really didn’t care about him, you wouldn’t have called me crying and upset. You would have shrugged it off,” Haz reasoned, making her feel exposed. She just stared up at him. He stood awkwardly not knowing what else to say or do now that he had picked her off the ground to make sure she was safe. He tried to think of what Tom would want him to do, but he already felt like he had crossed some sort of line listening to her.
“Are you just gonna stand there?” she questioned, making him even more uncomfortable.
“Do you want me to leave?” he asked back. She bit her lip and looked down.
“No…”
He self-consciously played with his hands and looked around her room deep in thought.
“I could, ah, sleep on the couch?” he offered.
“Or, you know, you could just sleep in here too,” she blushed, feeling just as awkward around him. She couldn’t believe she was offering her bed to a stranger, but, for some reason, the fact that Tom trusted him so much made her trust him too.
“Oh, I don’t know if T-, I mean…” Harrison sputtered, stopping before he said his name.
“He doesn’t want me anymore. I, just, don’t want to be alone,” she admitted. He had no idea what to do; he knew Tom better than anyone, and Tom didn’t share girls. She looked so broken and hopeless Haz would feel like an asshole if he left.
“Okay, well, I can stay for another 15 minutes I guess,” he compromised. She nodded and waited for him to slide in next to her. He felt warm to the touch, and she felt less alone in his arms. His intoxicating smell comforted her, and she fell asleep within minutes.
Haz looked down at the beautiful girl beneath him and worried about what he had gotten himself into. Yet, she looked so peaceful in his arms. Maybe… Tom was done with her, and this would all be okay. His eyes drooped from exhaustion. However, he couldn’t leave, or he would wake her. The sound of her calm breathing soon had put him to sleep too.
Tom awoke with a start. The flashbacks from last night hit him all at once, and he cringed at the way he had reacted.
Y/N, he thought.
He worried about what state she was in; she must feel terrible after how he left the situation. Guilt trickled down into his thoughts, and he couldn’t take it anymore; he had to apologize right now.
He bought light pink roses on his way to her apartment (her favorite). He had no idea what he was going to say or do, but at the very least, he needed to say he was sorry. He didn’t want to lose her, and maybe, last night was the wake-up call he needed. They couldn’t go on pretending anymore.
When he got to her door, he moved to knock, but he noticed the door was slightly ajar. This confused him and frightened him. Worried, he pushed it open and stepped into her apartment. The wine glass from the night before was still shattered in pieces on the floor.
“Y/N!” Tom called, waiting but hearing no response; he moved to her bedroom. He paused before walking in feeling sick like something wasn’t right at all. He once again pushed open the door… and dropped the roses to the floor.
“Harrison…” he sharply inhaled. Haz jerked awake, and as soon as, his eyes laid on Tom’s he shoved himself off the bed trying to distance himself from her.
“Tom, wait, it’s not what you think!”