Chapter 16
"I'm Bucky Barnes."
Those words shred your heart to bits.
Your heart stops beating.
Your lungs stop working.
Your body shuts down.
Wanda glances at you, worried, and you take an instinctive step back. You feel like a belt is tightening around your chest. As your hand desperately seeks for something to stabilize your body on, it sweeps over the flowerpot and it crashes to the floor.
Everybody's eyes are on you.
You start gasping for air once the pressure is unimaginable.
Wanda wraps an arm around you. "Shh." She says. "Calm down."
Bucky.
He's a few feet away but looks like he's right in front of you, and you half want to cry at the sight of him and flinch, and half want to throw yourself in his arms.
But Bucky is the Winter Soldier.
A tear slips down your cheek and your body is wracked with sobs. You feel cold all over. The memories flash past your eyes and you can feel the pain, the immense pain that made you wish you would die.
"(Y/N)?" He says, disbelieving. He seems to be handling it better than you, but then again, he wasn't the one forced to endure torture.
He takes a step towards you and you flinch visibly.
Your fingers start to twitch. You start to lose control.
Banner is the first to fall, collapsing to the floor with a resounding crash as all the gamma radiation is sucked from his body. Wanda, who's closer to you, is next- she gasps as magic is pulled out from her body. Thor grabs the sofa to steady himself, but falls down anyway, lightning speeding out of his body and into yours.
Clint starts to shiver. "Is it just me, or is it really cold suddenly?"
Tony's eyes widen. "Oh shit, she's taking the heat from your body, Barton-" then he looks down in surprise as the familiar blue glow of the arc reactor ceases.
Nat opens her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.
Cap comes towards you, but his movements are sluggish.
The couch starts to rise in the air.
Bucky.
Bucky.
Bucky.
He opens his mouth to say something but you thrust out your hand. "S...stay back." You whisper, and Wanda's red magic pours out of your fingers. He just manages to dive out of the way.
The tears begin falling faster, and you turn and run.
You release the energy you collected, taking control of your body at least for a few seconds, as you run. You haul your ass out of there.
Fumbling with the doorknob, you push the door open and manage to lock it. Your useless, useless fingers tremble as they take out your tool kit and pop the lid open, and with numb fingers you pick up your razor blade.
The blade glints in the light, and you sob as you dig the knife into your skin. A wound springs open, blood dripping out, and only then can you relax, taking shaky breaths and grasping the edge of the sink. You make a few more cuts, your head becoming clearer and clearer. Red is all you can see.
Someone knocks at the door: "(Y/N)?" and you gasp, shoving the bloody razor under the sink and then into your toolkit, and you quickly push it in the closets beneath the sink. You turn on the tap and silently watch the scarlet mix with the clear, like paint, and then grow lighter and lighter until it disappears. Then you rinse the cuts under the tap and tug down your blouse sleeves.
Taking a deep breath, you unlock the door.
"(Y/N)! Are you okay?" Nat asks you, eyes full of concern. "What's wrong? What triggered the attack?"
You hate to kick out one of your best friends like this, but you have to.
"Can you... give me some space?"
She nods, understanding, and closes the door.
You slide down, back hitting the cold wall, and cry.