Darkness
Emptiness.
Like that I could describe what I now feel. Actually didn't feel. There was nothing inside me. Everything was washed away with a waterfall of tears that left only a trail on my cheeks and red eyes. The pain changed into acceptance. Acceptance changed again into emptiness. It was expected.
I stood on the edge of the abandoned bridge. I don't even know why I chose this bridge. Something draw me here from when i was still young. I could sit here for hours and hours, or even for days, and I still loved this spot. I returned to this bridge. As a magnet to the refrigerator. Perhaps the sound of the river that ran beneath him or the fresh air penetrating the forest or the view of the rising and setting sun. It could have been all together or nothing.
There was a whirlwind of wild water that could not be seen through the depth of darkness separating the bridge and the water surface. This was the last sunrise I will experience in this life. So I wanted to enjoy it. Lastly, feel the warm rays on my cold red face. See the bright glow that slowly drove the darkness of the night, and gave hope that even the darkest moment could penetrate the bright glow of hope and happiness. But not for me. My journey was finaly over. My journey ended here and now.
No crossroads and no choices.
I take a deep breath of fresh air and slowly let it out my nose. My eyes slowly closed as they knew the moment would come. The whole body is relaxed and emptiness replaces peace. I don't have to fight anymore. Listen to all the shouting voices. Be someone else. To behave the way others want. Fulfill all expectations. Not to disappointing anyone. Be finally free, even for a few moments. That's what counts.
The first beams finally broke through the dense clump of trees and gently stroked my face as if they wanted to say goodbye to an old friend for the last time. Like a loving hand stroking the face of a loving companion. Like a warm embrace. Like hot chocolate in the cold winter.
With the whole body, I leaned forward and released the railing. I fell. The wind pulled my clothes and hair as if it wanted to take them away. But before my body broke the river, I heard something. Screaming. Voices of several people. Maybe passers-by who wanted to stop it. Save me. Don't allow something so horrible.
Late.
The body, after a long fall, broke through the surface of the river and took the air from the lungs. Shock. The water dragged me into their depths. The surface has closed over me. It locked their door. It swallowed me. Everything quieted. A stream of ice water flowed into my mouth and nose. It has penetrated everywhere. I choked. The body breathed cold water instead of air. I don't try to prevent it. Let it drag me more and more to the bottom.
My eyes opened as if someone wanted to say something to me: "Look up, you have to open your eyes." I obeyed that voice in my head. Something was moving towards me. It was big and fast, but despite the blurry and slowly blackening look, I had no idea what it might be like. It didn't matter.
The last thing the brain and eyes had registered before everything disappeared was something wrapping around the waist. Then everything disappeared. Silence. Disappeared. The pain was gone.
I was finally free.
*Last Sunrise*
"Fight ...."
What?
"Don't give up...."
Why?
"... you are a warrior ...."
Who?
*Last Sunrise*