Reminders
Though reluctantly, Bucky had agreed to staying in his room. Trying to be as discreet as possible, you couldn’t help but notice the hole in the plaster of the wall. It wasn’t just this reminder that Bucky kept, he also hadn’t seemed to have replaced the bedside table that had collided with that particular spot of the wall.
You had tried to take up your once usual spot in the bed, until Bucky insisted that you sleep on his side by the remaining table. It was a huge step even being in his bedroom at all, so you didn’t press the matter.
As you lay there, you couldn’t help but notice the tension in his muscles. It seemed to be a struggle for him to be in there with you. When you rested your arm over his chest, you could feel the air catch in his lungs. Originally you had planned to let Bucky fall asleep first, before allowing yourself to, but at some point you ended up drifting off.
Movement causes you to wake up and you glance to where Bucky had been when you fell asleep. Only instead of laying in bed, he’s now standing beside it.
“What’s going on?” you ask, though you were fairly positive of the answer.
You crawl over just enough to reach out and take his hand in yours, and even though he hasn’t moved, he does allow you to hold onto him.
“Bucky?” you whisper “What are you doing?”
Concern growing, for a split second you wonder if he’s even really awake or if you’re dealing with something worse, but quickly push that thought aside.
“Stay. Please stay” you start to plead, gripping his hand tighter.
The knot in your stomach begins turning the longer he stands there. When he doesn’t turn to face you, tears start to form in your eyes. You try choking back the lump in your throat, but that only causes the tears to start rolling down your face.
You tighten your hold on his hand some more, but he doesn’t return the gesture. If you let go of him now, you’re sure he’d walk out of the room, like he had originally intended.
“Bucky!” pleading, you move closer to him. “Stay with me.” Your voice hitched, but he just lowers his head, refusing to look at you.
Now your misery was being taken over by anger.
“Look at me!” you practically screamed.
“Why am I here? Why are we doing this?” You were getting tired of this game, whatever it was.
“You didn’t have to come back around just because you felt bad for me,” you snarl. “I could have managed alone. Without you.”
Having inched yourself to the other side of the bed, getting as close to him as you could, you swing your legs over the side and stand up, letting go of his hand.
If he wanted to run, you’d let him.
“If you walk away now, don’t you dare come near me again.”
Finally lifting his head, he leans in and presses his lips on yours. Just as you start to kiss him back, begin to lift your hands to pull him closer, Bucky backs away and walks to the door.
You’re frozen in place as you watch him open the door and step out. All you can do is stare at the doorway.
Confused, you stand in that same spot, wondering what just happened.