Chapter 11
“Yes I do, I believe
That one day I will be, where I was
Right there, right next to you
And it's hard, the days just seem so dark
The moon, and the stars, are nothing without you
Your touch, your skin, where do I begin?
No words can explain, the way i'm missing you
Deny this emptiness, this hole that i'm inside
These tears, they tell their own story”
“No, no! Absolutely not!” Steve yells and Bucky swears he hears the picture frames shake on the wall by them.
“Steve if you let me-” Bucky starts.
“No!” Steve yells again and before he can yell more Clint interrupts him.
“Hey you mind taking a calmer approach?” He asks, looking towards the door and back to them with a look indicating lets remember why we needed to meet in my super secret apartment in the first place.
“Steve,” Bucky starts again.
But Steve is still shaking his head, pacing now. “No fuckin way,” he says quieter. He looks at Tony. “You have no objection to this?” He asks the man, his face almost red.
Tony sighs. “I think we should hear him out…”
Steve’s hands reach for his temples. “You can’t be serious.”
“Look clearly he’s thought this through,” Tony says motioning to Bucky.
Bucky nods. “I have.”
Steve looks at him desperately, begging Bucky to say just kidding here’s a better LESS dangerous plan. Lets kill them with kindness or some bullshit. But no, Bucky is looking at him strongly, sure of his decision and Steve pretends for the sake of both of them that he doesn’t see his slight panic in his eyes as well.
Steve looks away from Bucky shaking his head. “You can’t…”
“I have to,” Bucky says. Then after a silence he breathes in. “No one else is coming up with anything worth trying…”
“I hate playing devils advocate,” Tony starts. “But he has a point.”
Steve’s jaw clenches as he stares Tony down.
Tony swallows. “He’s what they want and if…” He sighs. “If they think they’ve won, their defences will be down.”
“There’s just the small window of them thinking they’ve won and well... killing us off we have to worry about,” Clint says sarcastically.
“Cross that bridge when we get there I guess,” Tony replies back and Clint gives an overexaggerated smile back.
“Tell us the rest of the plan,” Steve says staring down at the floor.
And so Bucky does. He tells them the big plan, then scenarios in case surprises arise. They nod, listening. Except Steve who’s eyes stay staring at the ground.
“What if they make you...him again? The Winter Soldier?”
“They can’t. The words don't work any-”
“I don't mean the words I mean before that. They can put you back in that chair...wipe the slate clean.”
Bucky shakes his head. “That took years the first time and even with what they gave you, it took months of doses. And they couldn’t control you.”
“Yeah not yet.”
“It’s not going to happen, Steve.”
“What if they take you?” Steve stops his pacing.
“Hmm?”
“What if they get the one up on us, knock us out or something and take you to God knows where?”
Bucky nods. “When my mind got clearer and I realized I wasn’t the one with false memories this time...and after you saved me from that basement I asked Tony to install this.” He moves his hair out of the way of his neck to show Steve a small round mark, now purple from bruising.
Steve looks at Bucky’s bruise then back to Tony.
“Tracker,” Tony says. “It’s untraceable. They won’t know it’s in him. Blends with his blood so they wouldn’t even be able to get it out if they did know.” Tony reaches in his pocket to pull out a small device. “It can only be activated by yours truly...and you. “ He points to Steve. He unlocks the screen and shows it to him. The small blinking red dot on the screen places exactly where Buck is in front of him. Tony puts the small device in Steve’s hand. “They won’t be able to relocate him anywhere without us being seconds behind them.”
Tony explains how the device will know it’s him or Steve. Fingerprints, mixed with dna, mixed with pulse levels. He even hands it to Clint and they watch as the screen goes black only to return working when Tony takes it back to give to Steve.
Steve seems satisfied, pockets the device, even nods and looks up at Bucky. Until…
“And what if they….” Steve closes his eyes, not wanting to think about it. “What if they try to...take you out.”
“What on a date?” Tony chimes in, trying to lighten the mood.
Steve ignores him “Kill you! What if they kill you!”
“That’s not going to happen, Steve,” Bucky says with calmness that makes the whole room uneasy.
“Don't tell me it’s not going to happen!” Steve yells.
“It’s not!
“Bucky!-” Steve tries to get it in his boyfriends head how dangerous this is.
“They’re not going t-”
“You don’t know th-” He can’t possibly know that.
“They’re not going to!” Bucky says again, louder.
“You don't know!”
“They’re not going to because they need me!” Bucky yells louder over Steve. Steve quiets. Bucky sighs. “I’m their ...greatest achievement.” Bucky grins sarcastically. “They’ll want to see why... “ He trails off.
A small silecne covers the room but before anyone can get out an “he has a point” again Steve gives in.
“Alright,” Steve lets out quietly. “I don’t like this but-”
“Yeah that goes without saying,” Bucky smiles sadly.
“Look no one likes it,” Tony says. “But we don’t have anything else.”
They all nod now.
“Okay now that we played the most depressing version of 21 questions…” Clint lets out and drops down from his seat on the counter. “Lets go through this one more time.”
“Well actually, “ Bucky breathes in and seems to try to be covering a smile. “There’s just one more, unfortunate victim, to this...circumstance.”
They look at him puzzled.
“What do you mean?” Steve asks.
Bucky grimaces and looks around the apartment, then back at Clint, guilty. “I’m sorry-”
Clint doesn’t understand at first. He looks at Bucky in confusion, then realization dawns on him. “What? No. NO! Come on, man! Not my apartment!”
Unfortunately for HYDRA to “find” them and it not seem suspicious they had to give up Clint’s beloved secret.
After giving now concise steps to the plan, only omitting a few things that he kept to himself, Bucky sends Clint and Tony away to place the clues that would lead Hydra to find him and Steve. It wouldn’t take Hydra long, around midday tomorrow, Bucky predicts.
Steve and Bucky stare at the door Tony and Clint leave from for a few minutes before Bucky turns to Steve.
“This will all be over soon, Steve,” he says with a warm smile.
“So you say…” Steve looks quickly at Bucky then back at the door to avoid his eyes.
“You don’t believe in my foolproof plan?” Bucky asks, lightly.
“It’s not your plan I’m worried about,” Steve says solemn. He turns to Bucky finally.
Bucky nods, sadly, understanding the worry. “Could at least get a good night’s sleep?” Bucky offers and holds out his hand for Steve to take.
Steve breathes in and lets his eyes soften. “Yeah,” he says and takes Bucky’s hand and lets him lead him to open door of the guest room.