Breath
Quiet. Jim’s mind was… quiet.
He woke slowly, puzzled, and tried foggily to process why that peacefulness was alien.
He felt a satisfaction deep in his bones, but there was an exhaustion there too, like he was sickening for something.
He stretched and startled to find someone curled around him. How could he possibly sleep so heavily when -
And who-
Oh. Moran. Jim’s eyes narrowed mildly. Of course the only man in the world who might spoon him and live was Sebastian ‘Insubordination’ Moran.
It wasn’t awful. He was warm, and Jim felt safe, and-
Wait, did he feel safe? Something about Seb pinning him down filtered through his sluggish mind.
Jim’s face flamed. His memories came back in full force and he cringed.
He fought his way out from under Seb’s arm. Or tried to, the big lump was as immovable as a fucking mountain.
“What the fuck did you think you were playing at?” Jim demanded as Seb stirred.
They were never christening any other surface of that room. The kitchen somehow did things to their sensibilities.
~
Even in the most pleasant slumber, when Jim moved, Sebastian’s eyelids flickered, like a cat’s, woken up by the tiniest noise or an infinitesimal brush against its whiskers. Relief mixed with a feeling of wariness at the back of his mind, the reason of which was … Thin ice and deep, dark waters underneath – so for the moment it seemed a good choice to stay inert.
When he couldn’t very believably ignore Jim’s weak but resentful struggle any longer, he shifted a bit and let go of him, seemingly struggling with sleep and gravity to comply, making a vaguely apologetic noise while doing so.
The slightly caustic tone in Jim’s question told him that not only had it been a good decision to play sleepy, but that it would be an even better one to add playing dumb.
“Hhm?” By now he’d sluggishly wriggled back a little, giving Jim a bit of room. “Srry,” Sebastian slurred, “your bed sags a bi’ in th’ middle...” So it was inevitable to gravitate there and thus, towards the other occupant. Also, referring to the more recent but lesser transgression of the night would mayyybe divert from the earlier one. In fact, if Jim was more comfortable with it, they could chose to ignore it had happened at all?
~
A muscle under Jim’s eye twitched. “You’ll sag in the middle if I remove your innards for daring to lie to me,” he growled.
Although he had neither the energy nor the inclination to follow through with the threat.
“You know what I’m talking about,” Jim said. “Don’t do it again.”
Moran had taken advantage. Jim should gut him, not least because he -how humiliating- liked it.
Of course, because Jim had liked it, and because he more than liked Seb… and because he was still fucking exhausted… Jim let it lie. For the time being at least.
“I’m supposed to be able to trust you,” Jim muttered, then buried himself back under the duvet in a huff.
Of course, if he didn’t really trust Moran, the man would already be dealt with.
Jim slept again, fitfully, for a few more days. Updates delivered to Seb suggested the team were recovering from the bug next door. Jim was no longer feverish, but wasn’t like the others: he could barely be woken and when he was, his only interest was eating.
It worried Sebastian but Jim seemed to have dryly accepted that he’d been infected. He talked about research sometimes but couldn’t hold his head up long enough to switch his laptop on, never mind focus.
Sebastian’s sleeping pattern had settled into something nocturnal, but Jim was sleeping night and day. Sometimes Seb bravely prodded (and shook) Jim awake to take antibiotics. Sepsis was still a fear, but at least being asleep meant Jim’s injuries were finally getting a chance to heal. Being too tired to resist made Seb’s job of keeping Jim alive easier, but it didn’t feel easy.
Jim didn’t usually have anything to do with ‘easy’.
~
While Sebastian knew he should feel grateful that Jim’s threat to eviscerate him had less fire than usual, he was also bothered by it. Poorly or not, it wasn’t like Jim to sound so listless uttering such things. So … should he get the doctor in?
He decided to give it a few days before doing so. What good had the fancy doctors done him prodding about to get a handle on his mystery malaise? … None.
And Jim’s condition was no less puzzling. The symptoms didn’t entirely match those of the epidemic next door, fizzling out by now, and they were also different from Sebastian’s when he came back from India. Or at least that’s what Sebastian kept telling himself, yet being aware that it might well be a mixture of the two.
Seeing Jim do nothing but sleep and eat – something Sebastian had to be usually very cunning to facilitate – was beyond weird. On the other hand, there was probably nothing better any doctor could have prescribed to make Jim’s hands and feet heal. Also, Sebastian made sure Jim was taking his medication too, which he did with an atypical lack of fuss.
All of this made for strange days in the extended Moriarty household.
Sebastian adhered to the order that he was grounded, not least because he wouldn’t leave Jim for any extended period of time anyway while he was unwell and more or less helpless. Moreover, to be able to join Jim in bed and sleep close to him at any hour of the day or night without hearing any complaints about being a distraction or a disturbance was a perk.
Slightly less of a perk was the fact that Jim’s Empire was basically without its Emperor during those days. And while the big wheels and the small cogs kept turning like they should in a well oiled machine that could run smoothly for quite a while under the care of competent staff, there were questions popping up that would have been Jim’s to decide.
Two of their men on the inside of the Canning Town Cartel had blown their cover and been subsequently dispatched in a very unappetizing manner - which, even if it had been their own fault, could not go unanswered. Sebastian knew Jim would have ordered retaliation and saw no need to bother him about the specifics. Instead he decided himself: four kills as payback were appropriate to send a strong enough message and still keep it on the scale of gang warfare, just below what would draw undue attention from the authorities. Other questions were more tricky, and while Sebastian could make an educated guess which of the warring factions in Sudan Jim would rather see getting the upper hand (and the required type and amount of weaponry), there were other things he didn’t want anything to do with.
So, on day seven, Sebastian ventured upstairs for something work-related for the first time in a week, holding the phone Jim’s business calls had been diverted to while he was recuperating.
“There’s one Akim Sokolov on the line.” Sebastian sat down on the side of the bed, checking for signs of life. Jim opened one eye, so Sebastian proceeded. “He’s saying the shipment to Biggin Hill airport needs to be rerouted on short notice due to – whatever. I’d gladly suggest Stapleford airfield to him - if it’s really persimmons. In case it’s not, or the type you need a lead-lined carrier for, I think it’s better you tell him where to go?”
~
Jim muttered something unforgiving about where Akim and Seb could both go, but gestured Sebastian forward. Jim took the phone back into the cocoon he had made of the bedding and rolled onto his back. He exchanged a few quick words with Akim in his native tongue, but that took more mental energy than he wanted to spare, so he finished up with a few directions and threats in English.
Not bothering to hang up, he threw the phone at Moran just to be petty, then dragged the duvet over his head.
“Unless you’re bringing me food, I don’t want your interruptions for the rest of the day,” Jim said darkly.
Except he did, really. He understood and somewhat appreciated that Seb was handling work for him, but Jim much preferred when Sebastian crawled back into bed with him, whatever the time of day or night.
They hadn’t had sex in days, and Jim couldn’t remember the last time he’d spent so long in bed. It had gotten to the point where he had resentfully accepted himself as an invalid, and had assigned a team (of which Saavi was head) to research fairytale curse breakers, claiming one held the encryption key to a code he needed to break. They’d have thought him even madder than usual if he’d told them the truth.
At some point Seb returned for sleep, and Jim generously expended energy on lifting the duvet aside to let Sebastian in. Jim’s fever had passed and his trapped body heat had been sufficient in keeping the bed warm, but he pressed up against Seb anyway. He pushed up Seb’s top for even more skin contact then wrapped himself possessively around him. If Seb had any complaints about being the little spoon or being half strangled, he kept them to himself. At least until Jim was asleep again.
Eventually Jim woke feeling uncannily lucid. Having his brain back online was disorientating, but he was vastly grateful. He had so much to catch up on!
His libido reminded him that it had been very neglected of late. Or perhaps that was Jim’s dick, which had snuggled its way between Seb’s cheeks at some point and was suggesting that Jim owed it to them all to yank Seb’s underwear down and take the blond. He’d been working so very hard after all, and didn’t he deserve a treat? Jim’s dick pulsed happily at the thought.
Jim sighed and rolled onto his back. He had wasted so much time already.
He tried to extract his arm from under Seb’s neck. Sebastian made a sleepy noise of query but didn’t wake.
He was adorable like that. Jim wanted to part those pretty lips and fuck that perfect mouth, but there was work to be done.
Except Jim felt restless. He was alert again, yes, but his brain rebelled at the thought of being put to work. And his body screamed out for action. He’d done nothing but sleep and eat and fret for days.
Jim needed to move. To do something. Preferably the fucking gorgeous bloke in his bed who’d been so helpful recently.
And before that, them going without sex for days had become impossible. Jim missed it fiercely.
Although… the last time was… well. Between the mind-bending and alarming blowjob in the kitchen, and Seb riding his lap so beautifully before that, the sex recently had been… extraordinary. And not entirely under Jim’s control.
And Jim wouldn’t have that setting any unwelcome precedents.
He looked at Sebastian sleeping again. He wanted him, right now, and to fix what’s gone on whilst Jim’s been so distracted.
If it was anyone else, Jim would have simply taken what he wanted. But ‘anyone else’ probably wouldn’t have made it to Jim’s bed like this in the first place.
He returned to Seb’s back, gripping a strong shoulder tightly, and woke Sebastian brusquely.
“I want you. Now,” Jim said, and didn’t give Seb much time to respond. He grabbed Seb’s underwear and ripped them wide open.
~
The urgent grip on his shoulder had jolted Sebastian from dozing through a pleasant dream, and a vaguely erotic one at that. Naturally. Sleeping beside Jim did that to him, and much worse. At times it had been sheer torture, especially when Jim had, deliberately or subconsciously, plastered himself against him… hell, spooning and rubbing himself against him. It wasn’t like Sebastian couldn’t go without for a week, he wasn’t a bloody teenager anymore! Except that … with Jim, he seemed to be. And getting infected by a mythical and animalistic creature hadn’t… alleviated the matter either. But although he had been sorely tempted - it wasn’t like Jim would have known what went on behind a closed bathroom door – Sebastian had been good. There just simply wasn’t a thing he could do about wet dreams. Luckily Jim seemed to buy that the occasional changing of sheets was merely part of TLC, or maybe he hadn’t even been too aware of it in his half comatose state. Which by the way Sebastian felt partly responsible for and a bit guilty about. It had been a sublime joy to take control, but it still felt a bit like he had shocked Jim into not being able to cope with the world anymore.
Well, turned out he hadn’t.
The sudden, very deliberate grip on his shoulder came with so little warning that Sebastian’s sleepy brain struggled to connect the dots, or rather the words. Although there weren’t too many of them, and not too many possible meanings either.
“Wh - -?”
A hefty tug and the noise of tearing fabric provided the answer to Sebastian’s bleary question before he could finish it, or turn around for that matter. He almost jumped, his pulse certainly did. Rudely woken or not, a hot thrill shot down his spine. He had worried needlessly. Jim was back.
Jim, who seemed ready to emphasise what he’d told him before, in no uncertain terms - that he owned him. Which included that he’d have him wherever and whenever he pleased, whether Sebastian liked it or not. And Sebastian was almost vexed about how his bodily reactions kicked in instantly, easily leaving behind brain or pride or indignation. A moan travelled through his chest, but he still managed to turn it into a huff and a sleepy growl upon leaving his throat. He stiffened his limbs because there was no other way from preventing himself to roll over instantaneously. Which would be much too easy and much less exciting.
Was he fooling anyone?
At least he tried, shifting his weight a bit to press his treacherously hardening cock against the mattress. A move designed to hide his eagerness, and pique Jim’s predatory nature at the same time.
“You should be resting,” he murmured. “Doctor’s orders.”
~
Sebastian’s moan had Jim satisfied that they were in agreement about the length of time it had been since Jim had been inside of Seb had been far too long.
And then… Seb huffed. He resisted and rolled onto his stomach away from Jim. And not just to raise his arse in the air either.
Was he… Did he not want to? Why? But that moan…
And then Sebastian spoke. The words themselves weren’t unreasonable as such - they were shaped around Jim’s wellbeing.
As if Jim let doctors dictate what or who he did anyway.
But more importantly: Sebastian’s tone. It was… playful. His resistance was almost… challenging? Not in a truly insubordinate or threatening way but… like he was asking Jim to be rough?
And that made Jim want him even more.
Jim slapped Sebastian’s half-exposed rear. “No one orders me,” Jim reminded Seb in a dark snarl. He gripped Sebastian’s hips and dragged him nearer.
“I was going to let you have lube, but I think you need reminded of your place,” Jim said roughly. He pushed Seb’s cheeks apart and spat.
He lifted his fingers to his mouth and eyed how they’d healed before spitting on them too.
“Let’s hope your healing factor can keep up with me, treasure.”
Jim forced two fingertips inside Sebastian and kept them there for a moment whilst he judged Seb’s reaction. When Sebastian didn’t ask him to stop, Jim twisted his fingers in roughly and scissored Seb open.
~
Now that worked beautifully – of course relaying orders as to what or what not he should do would get Jim’s blood up. Although for a beat he had sensed something like puzzlement or hesitation at Sebastian’s feigned reluctance? Which was intriguing, but also … drat, had Jim’s illness had mellowed him so much he’d be kept from taking what was his by simple subterfuge and faux migraines?
Oh thank god he had not – as a snarl and a slap dispelled that worry instantly.
Not that Sebastian put up a noteworthy struggle. After all, with Jim literally still on his sick-bed, Sebastian had no intention of making him work too hard for it, that would have been selfish and very inconsiderate.
“Well, if you’re sure you’re up to -”
The sassy remark turned into a sharp gasp as Jim did not bother with either lube nor delicacy. There it was – that unparalleled knack for gleefully giving Sebastian more than he'd bargained for. He’d done that from the very beginning … and Sebastian had never stopped asking for it.
Jim granted him the briefest pause, not remotely enough to get adjusted to two fingers at once or to get his breath back. Not that Sebastian had any objections. While he was almost biting the pillow, the sound he made was nothing short of a challenge - the discomfort apparent in the tension his shoulders, and yet every line of his body an invitation.
~
Ohhh. Sebastian was burying his face in the pillows, shoulders tight, but the lifting of his hips told Jim that although this was far from gentle, Sebastian Moran was quite in his element.
Well this wasn’t a reward. Jim added a third finger and roughly stretched Seb some more.
And then as soon as Jim was convinced he wouldn’t make them both bleed from insufficient preparation, he swapped out his three fingers with the blunt head of his cock. Jim didn’t give Seb a moment to to mentally or physically adjust, just slammed in until he bottomed out. Sebastian made a glorious sound.
And then Jim waited. Just a few seconds. Until he saw the tension in Seb’s back start to lessen.
Then Jim pulled half-way out and slammed back in with as much violence as he could muster.
Seb’s head lifted from the pillows in shock.
Jim slapped Seb’s arse hard then grabbed his hips bruisingly tight to thrust as deeply as possible. “Daddy’s feeling better sweetheart, and absolutely capable of reminding you of your place.”
Jim kept up the punishing pace - even though Seb had been a good boy whilst Jim had been indisposed - and slapped Sebastian’s arse and thighs until they were burning, red and sore. Seb’s hole was burning too, based on how he responded to every slam of Jim’s sharp hips.
Sebastian was also loving it. Jim could hear that in every noise Seb failed to stifle with the pillows. And Jim loved that Seb loved this.
But Sebastian had taken a bit more than he was permitted of late, and Jim was not going to let Seb get off. This wasn’t for Seb’s pleasure.
“Give me your hands,” Jim panted.
Sebastian didn’t respond immediately, clearly not understanding Jim’s intent.
Jim spanked him hard enough to bruise. “Hands,” Jim repeated in a snarl. “I won’t have you touching yourself whilst I fuck you.”
~
Head bowed, Sebastian tried to come to terms with what felt like a shock to his system; breathing raggedly through the few moments of reprieve Jim gave him, impaled, sharp hipbones pressing against his arse, as though giving him a few seconds not only to adjust – to some small degree anyways - but to let it sink in what was happening.
Jim taking him..., taking him with the barest amount of preparation and little regard for anything but his own satisfaction. Something that was pure catnip to Sebastian’s masochistic disposition, so intoxicating that he tended to disregard the harsh physical reality of it. Until, of course, Jim reminded him of it…
Anticipation and arousal were drowned out by pain, leaving Sebastian dizzy when it receded a bit, until Jim moved and renewed it with every thrust and almost unbridled brutality, and again, … until lust and pain blended into each other in the way Sebastian’s body and mind had become addicted to, dished out by the man he’d become addicted to.
Who seemed intent on fucking him in two. And perfectly able to speak too while doing so. Sebastian struggled to grasp the meaning of the words, much too preoccupied to even think of touching himself. With his arse on fire, inside and out, and his recovering hard-on trapped against the mattress, he had basically lost conscious awareness of where the rest of his body parts were, maybe, or whether he had any…
Jim helped his mental effort along with a hard slap.
Hands. Right.
His left was attached to the forearm attached to the elbow wedged underneath his ribs, in some instinctive attempt to retain at least some sort of traction, and the means to inch forward under the onslaught. He wrenched it free and brought it behind his back.
His right he had to pry loose from the bunched-up sheet he’d been holding onto for dear life.
"Now that's what I call a full recovery,” Sebastian mumbled. He turned his head to the side. Not just to venture a glance back at Jim, but also – as every leverage was taken away from him - in order to keep breathing and not suffocate in the pillow.
~
“Oh, you’ll be full when I’m done with you,” Jim muttered darkly. He pinned Seb’s hands down and found the best angle for leverage again, dragging Seb closer and slamming in.
Jim kept Seb crushed beneath him and continued his brutality.
“You’re mine,” Jim snarled in Sebastian’s ear. “You’re mine, and that’s all. If I want to use you, I will. Night or day, you are mine. Body. Mind. Soul.”
Jim fucked Sebastian hard and fast, barely letting him breathe. He hissed possessive commands and threats at his dear blond, and did his best to make Seb cry with the ferocious attention.
Jim buried his teeth in the corner of Sebastian’s neck when he came, and Seb roared.
When Jim could gather his thoughts again, he pushed Seb’s arms up behind his back until it was on the painful edge of discomfort. “Mine,” Jim insisted.
He guided Seb’s arms safely down onto the bedding and slumped against Seb’s back, covering the large and shaking hands with his own.
“Come in your sleep and I’ll kill you,” Jim growled possessively. “I’ll let you know when I want you to feel good.”
He kissed the raw teeth marks and settled his head against Seb’s shoulder. He didn’t pull out. Just settled in to sleep again.
~
Although his face was wet, Sebastian’s throat was raw and parched, and he swallowed. That’s when the weird low-key noise he’d been hearing stopped and he realised it had not just been a glitch in his ears. Jesus, god knows what sounds he been making, even after Jim had finished and collapsed on top of him.
Battered and bruised, trapped under Jim’s weight, and … still impaled, Sebastian vaguely supposed that was probably how it felt to be flattened by a hurricane...
The odd involuntary shiver still ran through his body, as though struggling to come down from that violent overload of sensations without the glorious reset of physical release Jim hadn’t allowed him even to come close to…
Torture, but not really the good kind… - Why, just in case he’d gotten a notion he was entitled to that? But instead of being at odds with what had just happened and asking for reasons, by now he'd accepted it as a law of nature that Jim didn’t need any reason for whatever he did, except that he wanted to.
Pointy chin resting on Sebastian’s shoulder blade, chest warm against his back, Jim’s slow, regular breaths wafted over his damp skin and it was pleasant, hypnotic even.
‘You’d know then, who owned you, wouldn’t you darling...Controlling the most personal things about you, whether you breathe or bleed or die… Night or day, you are mine. Body. Mind. Soul.’
Naturally, that included whether Sebastian came or not, whether he felt pleasure or joy or pain and how much of it.
Which should feel as objectionable as Jim falling fucking asleep on top of him and inside of him should, but instead it gave Sebastian a great sense of calm. Safety.
He didn’t go back to sleep for quite a while. Eyes closed, or sometimes open, absorbing he luminous shades of the night he could now perceive, he relived whatever little detail he could remember. Savouring the subtle, lingering shadows of arousal and pain but not to the extent that tempted his body into disobeying Jim’s orders…
Jim’s right hand was still covering his. It’d been there since that brief, gentle reassurance at the end. There was an equally small movement from Sebastian now, just a slight rotation of his wrist, so his fingers could insert themselves between Jim’s.
~
Jim woke in utter contentment. He was warm and comfortable and Moran’s scent was in his nostrils.
Jim shifted sleepily and felt a thrill of surprise and sudden desire: they were attached. And Sebastian made a noise that made his awareness of the matter clear too.
Jim smiled softly, unkindly, and lazily rolled his hips.
“Good morning, precious darling.”
Did Seb just make a scoffing sound, or was he simply tender?
Jim gave Seb’s shoulder a not quite friendly nip of teeth just in case.
“You were a very good boy,” Jim said, and wriggled into a position where he could partially assess the state of Sebastian without separating their bodies. There wasn’t much left to show, except perhaps some pinkness to Seb’s skin, and that might have been from being crushed under Jim.
Jim felt a wave of exasperation and possessiveness.
“Stay there,” he ordered, and held Seb in place whilst stretching over to snatch up his phone.
Sebastian didn’t seem impressed.
Jim petted him soothingly with one hand and navigated to a particular tab he had left open on his browser.
He was damned well going to ensure Moran had some sign of ownership.
Sebastian seemed torn between exasperation and pleasure as he was held down to wait for Jim to finish on his phone. After making his order, Jim lingered momentarily just to play with the man.
Then he tossed the phone aside and gave Seb’s shoulder and neck a flurry of kisses.
“Well?” Jim purred in Sebastian’s ear. “Were you a good boy who deserves a reward, or am I going to find evidence of your misbehaviour on the sheets?”
~
Sebastian came to, quite pleasantly sandwiched between the mattress and a warm, somewhat pointy weighted blanket - - ah no, it moved, which drew a low throaty sound from him, especially when the events of last night came back to him and fragments of the subsequent dreams he’d had all night. His body still seemed caught up in them.
The lascivious sounds ended in a soft little snort. Precious darling, huh?
Well, the various aches and pains were all but gone, prompting Jim to nonchalantly remind him that … there could always be more. But, his point made, maybe there was a chance of a bit of something else added to it…
Sebastian was about to lift and turn his head to investigate the odds, when he was squashed back into the pillow by a hand between his shoulder blades as Jim leaned on him to reach for the night stand.
“Seriously?” Sebastian groaned, half muffled by the pillow. If he did sound exasperated then because he was. Not least at himself. Because honestly, how fucked up did you have to be to find the thought of Jim checking his bloody emails or talking over the phone while casually still inside of him not just vexing and humiliating but … hot as well. For a moment Sebastian tensed as though considering to buck the little bastard off.
Well, to his continuing exasperation, he didn’t, and finally the phone clattered back onto the night stand, and instead of bucking, Sebastian just squirmed a bit under the shower of little nips and kisses.
Well, had he been a good boy? He made a somewhat undecided noise. Before saying, a bit pointedly: “To be honest, precious darling can’t tell for sure.” Some even sinned in their sleep, right? Especially with their front pressed into rumpled sheets and a cock up their arse.
~
Jim’s eyebrows raised in amusement. “That tone is not the way to get you a reward, poppet.”
He squeezed Seb’s arse. “Sometimes I think you like getting into trouble, Tiger.”
Jim reached up with his other hand and tugged Seb’s hair. “I don’t think I’ve had a moment’s peace since I claimed you for my own.”
That wasn’t true. Jim would be quite content to wake up inside Moran every day for the rest of his life.
However long that may be.
~
Since Jim’s voice held a note of amusement, Sebastian ventured to point out that, “You like it too when I get into trouble.” He clenched his muscles in a way that drew a deliciously audible breath from Jim and a reflexive twitch of his hips, which in turn made Sebastian’s breath catch.
“Also, I don’t think that’s quite true, you do seem quite peaceful … occasionally.” Maybe not very often, but Sebastian would not have his rare accomplishment belittled, that sometimes he could make the noise go away. He was never antagonistic just to be a prick but he held his tongue on that regard.
Instead he followed the tug on his hair by raising his head a bit. After a few seconds it was him who slightly rolled his hips, almost experimentally, to see to which extent he was stuck to the sheets. When the hand in his hair tightened warningly he stopped, watching Jim out of the corner of his eye.
Yes, he definitely had his attention.
“Well? Reward or trouble...” he suggested and yes, he began to stop caring which it would be. “Please?”
~
Jim didn’t get a chance to respond with a scoff or quip to Seb’s comment about liking his naughtiness, because Sebastian clenched around him and Jim’s stirring prick woke up at once.
“Occasionally,” Jim agreed. Sebastian could provide him with peace sometimes, but Jim probably wouldn’t have admitted that so easily if he wasn’t distracted by Seb’s grip on him. Jim tugged Seb’s hair - second nature by now- and Sebastian rolled his hips in response, the fucking tease.
Jim yanked him a little harder. Sebastian said something no one else would: Well? Reward or trouble… Please?
Jim felt a wave of love and desire, and felt exasperated about the first. He swatted Seb hard enough to make the little slut grunt in pain.
“You need your head examined,” Jim pointed out. He momentarily forgot Sebastian’s improved hearing and added a very quiet, “Not that I’d change you for the world.”
Jim lifted and twisted one of Seb’s strong legs, ducking under it and twisting himself in an attempt to get Seb on his back without pulling out completely. Sebastian seemed perplexed for a moment but once he understood that Jim was trying to keep them conjoined he aided the efforts obediently. He seemed grateful for the chance to move after how long Jim had had him pinned down.
The change in position had little to do with seeing if Sebastian had behaved. Jim could have lifted Seb’s hips and reached around for that. Jim wanted to be able to see Seb’s face.
“Is there much difference between punishment and reward to you?” Jim asked with sparkling eyes.
There was a stain on the sheets where Sebastian had been lying, but whether it had been copious amounts of precome milked out of him or actual come was difficult to tell at this point.
Jim ran a hand over Seb’s hardness. It might be a struggle to reach the toy drawer and make selections without falling over never mind attempting to stay connected.
Jim stretched up and placed his hand with weight at the bottom of Sebastian’s neck. “Would my favourite masochist consider choking to be a punishment or a reward?”
~
“Now that - ” Sebastian’s pulse jumped, his mouth going dry. “That would depend a bit on how far it’s taken, wouldn’t it?” This had been intended to come out lightly, but lightly suddenly seemed a strange concept with the implication of a noticeable weight just shy of his windpipe and Jim Moriarty’s eyes beaming down on him, dark, mesmerised, … interested. With that look he had when making a suggestion. An offer you couldn’t possibly refuse, or at least Sebastian couldn't. No matter if it sounded alluring or painful, intriguing, dangerous or downright scary … because whom was he kidding - he was addicted to all of this, as much as to that honey-it-is-going-to be-so-much-fun gleam in Jim’s eyes.
A reasonable person would talk something like this over, maybe ask his partner if he knew what he was doing, whether he’d done this before? Sebastian was quite sure Jim had and he wasn’t sure he needed the details of the outcome. Maybe Jim was going to tell him anyway and Jesus fucking Christ he’d gotten so hard again it made any verbal answer or silly negotiations entirely obsolete anyway. Just as whether there was much of a difference between reward and punishment. For a masochist those lines were already blurry to begin with and Jim had the gift to annihilate them altogether, to turn pleasure into torture and the other way round.
Also - they both knew what it did to Sebastian to hand Jim utter control, unconditionally, despite not knowing to what end. Or maybe exactly because of that. Fuck, they were both twisted… with their aberrations complementing each other perfectly.
Sebastian canted his hips and wriggled slightly, thus accommodating Jim’s seat, position and hold on him, signalling not just interest but that he was game.
“Assuming not wishing to change me for the world includes not changing me from alive to dead.” The moment this was out, Sebastian wondered whether that had been a wise thing to say - to the most changeable man on the planet.
But he still had the ability to fight, in fact he would probably do so out of sheer reflex. He let his hands fall to the sides, palms down.
~
Whenever Sebastian started to recognise that he was prey, it always filled Jim with a warmth of affection as much as desire. Strange, how the lives of all of Sebastian’s predecessors had been so inconsequential, and yet Seb moved Jim in ways no one else ever had.
Sebastian shifted himself into position with rare and welcome obedience. A thought flickered through Jim’s mind: if they survived everything, would he be willing to continue delegating so much of his life’s work in order to fully relish all opportunities to fuck Sebastian silly?
Seb knocked Jim out of his musings by mischievously quoting back something Jim had forgotten Seb would of course be able to hear.
“If you were dead I wouldn’t be able to torture you enough,” Jim retorted.
He shifted closer, curling his fingers around the side of Sebastian’s throat. Jim imagined with fondness and arousal just how pretty his tiger would look wearing a proper collar.
“I’ll stop when I feel like it, but if you need a breath before there, let me know,” Jim said with more generosity than he’d show anyone else. “You should still be able to tap out even when you can’t manage to speak.”
Jim squeezed in experimentally, holding Sebastian’s gaze intently. He loosened his grip and raised a brow at Seb. “Alright, treasure?”
~
Jim made a valid point – dead Sebastian would be much less fun. A lot less useful too. Sebastian had seen – and heard, and felt - enough evidence that Jim valued him. More than the brief kick of killing him might provide, even if - if he was Bluebeard reincarnate. That left the residual, inherent risk of putting yourself at the mercy of a sadistic psychopath, and getting cocksure enough to think you were able to read him. And trust him.
Lips slightly parted, Sebastian still inhaled reflectively as Jim’s hand settled around his throat, letting him feel what was about to happen... Even talking him through it.
Ever since getting together with Jim, Sebastian was on a steep learning curve, especially when it came to keeping a grip on his self-preserving instincts, dialling them down, switching them off even… It was still a bit of a shock when he realised this was the first time Jim was about to deliberately do something potentially damaging, indeed potentially lethal to him without restraining him.
Well, Jim was a sucker for risks too.
Jim gave him back some air, but his intent gaze took away Sebastian’s breath just the same, and a sudden feeling of vertigo stopped all his thoughts. Leaving behind the one truth: He would let this man do anything to him.
A raised eyebrow that seemed to ask for more confirmation than just a nod, pulled Sebastian out of that trance. He took a deep breath. Let it out again. His eyes never leaving Jim's. “Alright.”
Maybe it was just as well that Jim leaned in again before he could add something referring to Emily Post.
~
Submission from this impressive beast would never become tiring. Jim could feel the brightness in his gaze and didn’t bother to hide it from Sebastian. Why should he? It was mutually fun for them to play these games.
If Jim’s gaze seemed that bit too fond, Sebastian could simply read it as sadistic delight at the play, not the person involved.
Although the person involved did very much determine the play. Even with Sebastian’s healing power, Jim wanted to be careful. And not the careful of before when he punctured Seb’s throat.
No. This was for pleasure now, not just dominance. Jim kept his weight off of Seb’s vulnerable trachea. He massaged the sides of Sebastian’s throat and squeezed in, stimulating the blood flow before restricting it.
Sebastian started to feel the restriction, but he bravely, characteristically, kept Jim’s gaze.
Jim smirked at him and put some of his weight on his free arm at Seb’s side, shifting his hips to get comfortable. He was still inside Sebastian, and a flutter of Seb’s breath made it clear that he could feel Jim’s interest growing. And that catch of breath cost him, when he was being permitted only a limited amount.
Jim loosened his grip just enough to even Seb back out, then firmly brought his fingers back in again.
He held Sebastian’s gaze and thrusted, grinding closer until he was grazing the place that brought Seb pleasure. Sebastian reflexively tried to take in breath, but Jim squeezed tauntingly and Seb couldn’t. His blue eyes grew wide as he started to struggle to take in adequate air, and the momentum of pleasure within was diverting yet more oxygen from his brain.
He jerked then, instinctively, and Jim was careful still with Seb’s trachea.
“Now, now,” Jim warned warmly, and shifted his weight forward to crush and pin Sebastian’s chest a little more. That might have been more dangerous had their weights not been balanced thus: Jim so much lighter than Seb. Instead it simply added to their game.
Sebastian was struggling to breathe, and Jim held his gaze, and fucked him.
~
Even in the absence of any restraints, Sebastian felt completely in Jim’s power, just like last night, or even more so. Differently. More… connected. Not only because now he could see Jim… While he had become so familiar and addicted to the heady mix of pleasure and pain Jim had introduced him to, Sebastian had never experienced anything like this, mentally and physically. The combination of something as inherently violent and ultimately personal like choking and the intense, focused attention Jim was giving to his every need, taking care of him. Watching out for him too. Which was... good, because Sebastian himself was rapidly loosing that ability - his body delirious as much from pleasure and the dizzying rush that came with the lack of oxygen.
He bucked and Jim held him down, he arched but less in a fight to break free than to give Jim better access. Jim obliged, slamming into him… at the perfect angle. A gasp shuddered through Sebastian and was restricted by the weight on his chest and Jim’s hand around his throat, keeping control at all times, just as Sebastian liked it, wanted… needed it. His body burning through much more oxygen than he was allowed, Sebastian’s muscles started to shiver. The blood roared in his ears and the world became blurry, but not even once did it cross his fogged-up mind to tap out.
Nothing mattered but Jim - above him, around him, inside him.
~
Jim was unused to paying such meticulous attention to someone’s welfare whilst also fucking him like this. It was a uniquely… intimate experience.
Sebastian’s trust in him somehow went directly to Jim’s dick. As did the way Seb didn’t even try to use his superior strength or weight to help himself retain such a vital function. He was such a good boy.
A wonderfully good boy. Jim could feel Seb’s prick, warm and hard and leaking profusely between them, and it didn’t flag no matter how little oxygen Jim permitted him.
Jim shifted his weight, careful of not adding any more to Sebastian’s throat, but instead freeing the arm he had been resting weight upon. He snatched up Seb’s hip with it and jerked his own fiercely. This worked to both leverage Seb’s arse higher and make Sebastian splutter with the inability to gasp properly.
Jim edged his grip open around Sebastian’s throat. “Steady,” Jim purred, amused, then gave Seb the briefest soft look. “You’re okay, Tiger: I’ve got you.”
Jim utilised the changed position to thumb Seb’s hardness teasingly. Sebastian groaned reflexively and Jim rocked up into him, alternating his movements with skilled twists of his wrist.
Sebastian shuddered, trying to take deeper breaths.
Jim’s dark eyes glittered directly at Sebastian. “I’m not done, darling,” Jim chided wickedly, and then he squeezed the sides of Seb’s throat tightly.
Sebastian suddenly really couldn’t breathe and Jim counted patiently.
He cruelly administered firm pleasure directly to Sebastian’s cock, and Seb still could not breathe.
“Your life is mine,” Jim reminded him. “You only breathe this air if I decide. You come at my direction or not at all. You live for me, or not at all…”
Sebastian was twitching, and Jim was watching his colour very, very carefully. Sebastian’s eyes were wide but not bloodshot yet, and Jim savoured the look in them. He crushed Seb’s neck tighter.
And then he pulled back, sitting up and refocusing his attention upon Seb’s prick. Sebastian gasped in air loudly and barely had time to register the shift, dizzy and dazed with adrenaline and his body responding to the pleasure signals whilst he panted desperately.
“Come for me then,” Jim said smugly, and once his fist was coated in hot pearlescence he grabbed Sebastian’s hips with both fists and fucked him with the ferocity of a Jim Moriarty who hadn’t known release in days. Which was rather dishonest of him, but the expression he slipped into -when Sebastian was too overwhelmed to notice- wasn’t guarded at all.
~
Sebastian’s body was no stranger to the metabolic bypasses that enabled high-level function beyond what any given supply of oxygen could support. Considering that’s how tigers hunted – with brief bursts of power, speed and strength - maybe the Change had even improved that ability. And despite the fact this metabolic switch could only be sustained for a limited amount of time, the critical point for the need of oxygen was nothing that caught you cold. Shaking muscles, diminishing senses, saving reflexes, all this kicked in. Which made being suffocated quite an arduous affair, but also gave your body the time to fight back. The brain on its own … was a different matter. Cut-off blood supply cut by compressed carotid arteries had you out like a light.
Jim, a virtuoso if ever there was one with this kind of stuff, did a bit of both. Asking for a lot of trust, especially when Sebastian realised he was nearing a point beyond which he’d be incapable to make any contribution to the decision of how far to take this… And who knew what Jim’s decision would be? But he seemed aware of any reaction and every hint of panic, every twitch and attempted gasp.
Steady… You’re okay, Tiger: I’ve got you.
Jim, his eyes wide and dark and the only constant in Sebastian’s increasingly blurry vision, wasn’t only adding reassurance into the mix, but also possessive whispers and the utterly compelling incentive of mind-bending pleasure. Between the hand around his throat and the one around his cock convulsive spasms ran through Sebastian, like when you were caught in the electric field between two power sources you couldn’t break free from even if your life depended on it. And when he was sure something was about to burst - his head, heart, lungs or fucking balls - like things did when you cranked up the heat but kept the lid on tight - the pressure on his neck and chest was gone.
With the first, heaving gulp of fresh air a starburst of light and colours exploded across Sebastian’s vision and the roar of blood rushing back to his head almost obliterated Jim’s … permission. Not that it mattered to be honest, not this time. It was a bit like opening a red-hot pressure cooker and permitting it to boil over…
But maybe Jim knew that and benevolently spared him the transgression of not obeying. Instead his words and his strokes added an intensity to Sebastian’s release that brought him closer to blacking out than everything that had come before.
It wasn’t until a while later, that Sebastian, pleasantly sore, entirely wrung out and a bit weak, realised he’d been too out of his wits to register much of Jim’s orgasm. Also, he found his legs were wrapped around Jim, even while his hands were still clutching the sheets on either side of him.
“That was…” His voice was croaky and his slowly clearing mind not entirely sure of the right word. Good didn’t even begin to describe it. “… quite something.” Jim, almost no hair out of place and a smug little smile on his face, looked a lot like he agreed.
God, even if a few brain cells had been the price for this, Sebastian would gladly pay it again. Although he knew Jim hadn’t taken it as far as that.
~
Jim was so contented that he didn’t complain about the -admittedly pleasing- tight grip of Sebastian’s legs around him. Like even after suffocation Seb still wanted to keep Jim close. And not in the way one kept enemies close enough to harm.
“Oh yes, quite something,” Jim agreed with a not quite mocking lilt. “So?” he asked with a smug arch of one brow, “did that seem like a punishment or reward to you, Tiger?”
~
“Definitely not a punishment,” Sebastian rasped. He cleared his throat with a wince and a still slightly dopey smile. “Not that I would have deserved one…”
The somewhat bold statement trailed off as Jim’s eyebrow climbed yet a bit higher and a pointed look was directed to where Sebastian’s knee was still pressed into his flank. Sebastian let his legs relax and released Jim. Releasing the sheets from his white-knuckle grip too, he took a very deep, slow breath. Exhaling just as slowly he was suddenly hit by the adrenaline depletion and felt like melting into the mattress.
~
Jim loved and hated Seb’s dopey smiles. Or rather, he found them ridiculously charming and hated how some treacherous part of him sometimes felt inclined to mirror the foolish expression.
Jim did his best to maintain his dignity.
And he pointed out Seb ought to remove his legs from their possessive grip around him. Seb obeyed on that rare occasion and Jim felt sorry for it.
He felt even sorrier upon release that it was best to give Sebastian a chance to breathe properly again. Jim had gotten quite fond of the pillow Seb’s strong chest afforded.
Sebastian seemed quite fond of the actual pillows as he settled to recuperate. Or perhaps they were inconsequential and it was simply the rest that was welcome.
Jim ought really catch up on work. But he had wasted so much time already; would a few moments longer make much difference?
Jim pulled himself up to the headboard. His heart rate hadn’t fully settled yet and he supposed a brief rest wasn’t too outrageous.
He smoothed Sebastian’s hair. “You weren’t out long enough to be likely to have much of a headache, but let me know if you think you do. Normally I’d expect your throat to be tender for a little while, but I expect your healing factor will rescue you from the terrible plight of requiring ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner.”
~
Missing Jim’s close proximity as soon as it was gone, Sebastian also savoured the ability to breathe freely again, while he was talked through the possible aftermath of their little rough play. Jim did so with an odd mixture of almost clinical detachment and fussing, and seemed a bit ... awkward. Like always with this kind of maintenance, because - at least that's what Sebastian liked to believe - he was so unfamiliar with it. Not ever before having cared about the welfare of whoever he'd given his special attention to. Because Sebastian was special.
He also was someone who didn't let an opportunity pass if he saw one: "Salted caramel.” Jim blinked and Sebastian swallowed laboriously, hinting at his lamentably sore throat. “My supernatural healing abilities seem awfully diminished." So - ice cream, morning, noon and night please … - just to be safe?
~
Jim found himself laughing softly. Far too fondly.
“I thought you’re supposed to be the one who insists on eating properly?” he said wryly.
Jim considered Sebastian. And himself.
“I suppose I could manage to send someone on an errand for you. Since it’s medicinal,” Jim said.
He ruffled Sebastian’s hair with his mostly healed fingers and reached for a phone. If his tiger wanted some salted caramel ice cream, why not? He had been such a good boy.
And there was nothing stopping Jim working whilst Seb rested and indulged in a treat.
~
Did Jim realise that if he kept ruffling Sebastian’s hair right after he’d smoothed it down he could do this ad infinitum? Not that Sebastian objected…
“I do,” he concurred lazily, “advocate eating properly. So in addition I’d really love roast beef and pudding…” Yes, and a salad, if he had to. Eyes half-closed in contentment, he oozed decidedly feline satisfaction when, instead of throwing him a phone, Jim indeed placed the calls to order food for them both. There really was something to that cat magnetism thing that made their owners see to their pet’s every need.
But a good pet was looking out for its owner as well. Sebastian registered that Jim’s formerly notoriously fickle and recently alarmingly voracious appetite normalised somewhat, on what appeared to be a healthy level. But there was something else too which he wasn’t sure about whether he liked it or not. Never exactly a morning person, Jim seemed to become gradually even more nocturnal than he used to be. This could not be healthy for... humans, especially little pale ones who needed a few drops of vitamin D sneaked into their food on a regular basis as it was. Sebastian was still not ready to accept the notion of another were creature in the making and after a while he began to suspect a different reason …
Surreptitiously he started to change his own rhythm a bit to test his theory. Keeping himself awake for more time during the day could easily be contributed to him picking up his normal duties again, and it enabled him to sleep, or at least doze for stretches during the dead of night - by standing order in Jim’s bed. And it could be coincidence or just his imagination, but after he turned in, the other side of the bed never stayed empty for long. Of course he’d never mention it, or it would certainly stop working…
~
Jim did not particularly like that Sebastian had returned to enough of his duties that - despite the grounding - he was away more than he used to be. They’d gotten co-dependent maybe, or perhaps Jim had gotten himself trauma-bonded enough to feel clingy.
But at least Seb being busy meant Jim had time to research. He hadn’t taken Saavi or the others off of their research either - he had wasted days to catch up on, and the next full moon was ticking closer every day.
He was fucking grateful whenever Sebastian went to bed, because after day after day of researching dead ends, Jim was comforted to retreat to a warm bed and a reassuring lump in it. A few times he even woke tangled with said warm and reassuring lump.
That routine ticked along for a few more days, until the item Jim had ordered was ready to be collected. There was no way he was having it delivered for the team to get a good look at, and he certainly wasn’t taking Seb outside with him to pick it up either.
Jim dressed smartly for the occasion, which caught Seb’s attention, as Jim had been living in shirts and trousers recently, not bothering with waistcoats nor suit jackets. Jim putting on shoes was also enough to have Seb looking like a dog whose owner had picked up his leash outside of the usual walkies hour. Except perhaps concerned or exasperated too, because Sebastian was a professional - not just a pet - and could do his job much better when he was kept properly informed.
“Stand down,” Jim said. “You’re still grounded, remember? I have an entire team capable of accompanying me on errands.”
~
Seeing Jim undoubtedly dressed for going out, Sebastian was about to dash off to do the same. His face fell when he was being called back like a fucking Labrador who had to stay at home.
“What?” He looked at Jim incredulously. “Why?! You told me I’m grounded for my own protection. So might I point out if anyone in this household is fit for duty, it’s me! More than that actually.” His sharpened senses and physical strength had him brimming with energy, while the irritable and somewhat unruly disposition of his beastly part seemed to have retreated somewhat. (Probably the new moon approaching – strange how he now felt such things without consulting a calendar).
In short, he almost felt like himself, his… old self just… better. Well, more hungry too but that was to be expected and neither here nor there. He was dying to get out of the house, not to mention the thrill of accompanying a suavely dressed Jim out and about doing business. Even if it was just ‘running errands.’
~
Jim made use of his healed hands to give Seb’s rear a loud, warning swat.
“Mind yourself,” he warned. “We might have gotten familiar recently but I do not ever need to explain myself to you.”
Jim stared Sebastian down. “Have we tested how you’ll cope with prolonged exposure to city noise? No. Have we tested how you’ll cope if you’re exposed to sudden, loud noises like gunfire? No. Do I give a fuck if I have to replace any other member of my team? No.”
Jim reached up for the place behind Seb’s ear that the blond always seemed to find soothing when petted.
“I don’t care if you’re stir-crazy; you accept Daddy’s rules or there will be painful consequences for you, my Tiger. When you have my permission to do so, you can frolic outside to your soft heart’s content. Until then, you’re still grounded.”
Jim slid his hand around to Seb’s cheek and patted it. “If you’re good for me, I promise I’ll give you a reason to be glad of it later.”
Jim kissed Seb briefly, and with unusual tenderness.
Then he glowered again. “I’m deathly serious: best behaviour from you. I do not want to question whether I’m sharing my bed with the best member of my team.”
Jim left, taking only a driver and a single other member of said team.
~
It was true, he wasn’t sure about the city noises and things, but - “Well, if we don’t try, we’ll never know, won’t we?” Sebastian snapped and his neck stiffened. There were situations when he detested the Daddy crap much more than in others… Same as the condescension, like he was some dumb moggy soothed by a few head scritches! But, not being dumb also meant he knew when an amused scolding from Jim threatened to turn into something that was better avoided. At least when it wasn’t worth it.
This wasn’t. He let his breath out, still looking surely but apparently resigned to comply.
Which earned him a brief, but untypically gentle little kiss. And the promise that he’d be glad about it later. Interesting.
“I’m not dependent on you to open me a can of food for dinner you know,” he mumbled. “I do have opposable thumbs.” At least at the moment.
To that Jim chose not to react, and maybe it was better that way, resulting in Sebastian keeping said digits. Sebastian also swallowed any reply to that little remark designed to rankle his jealousy, but watching Jim leave he started to understand those canine impulses to eviscerate the upholstery and redecorate the flat while being left behind. He’d always despised that bloody pretentious white sofa he wasn’t allowed to sit on before he’d fucking showered and changed...
When Jim came back, the thing was still intact, but Sebastian was nowhere to be seen. Of course he’d heard the front door, hell, he’d heard the car turn into the drive, like any good pet would. Well, he could sulk with the best of them.