Natasha had witnessed a lot of death in her years, had wrought so much too.
But some things, some missions, some jobs were just so much more devastating.
All she knew was that there were bombs.
She didn't know where, how many, why.
The first had gone off in an apartment block downtown.
Police and bomb squads had been dispatched but it soon became clear that there were too many for all the force to handle.
So Shield had been called in, Natasha and Clint included, and The Avengers had followed.
Tony and Rhodey had taken to the skies, flying over New York and scanning every building as they passed.
When they found anything, the ground team would enter, disarm the bomb, and move to the next one.
Natasha, Clint, Maria Hill and Bucky had taken most of the leg work.
Steve had been in the army, sure, but he'd never disabled a bomb. So he was helping the injured and the trapped with Bruce, who had shifted into the Hulk and was helping to pull buildings off of people.
The four on the ground knew each step could be their last, but never once faltered in entering a building.
But things had shifted quickly. Tony and Rhodey had called out numerous sightings at once and they'd had to split.
A lot of New York had been evacuated, but there were places where a lot of people were trapped. Where they hadn't been able to get out in time.
There were too many bombs, too much carnage, and not enough of them to go around.
Natasha had followed Tony's directions, and found herself in front of a school.
She'd tiptoed into the crumbling building, praying to a god she didn't believe in that the place was empty.
It wasn't.
She spotted at least five faces, looking up at her, coated with dust and utterly terrified.
There was more than one body on the floor.
A woman, one of the only adults, clearly a teacher, lifeless eyes staring at nothing. A small body underneath her.
A sob drew her attention from the floor and Natasha scanned the room.
More dead.
They'd hidden under the tables when the collapse had started and some of them had been crushed under the weight of the ceiling.
Tony had said there was another bomb in this building and with the way the ceiling continued to fall, they didnt have a lot of time.
Those five faces looked up at her, all children, all so young.
"I'm here to help, I need you all to be brave." Natasha carefully stepped towards the children, some still hiding under the tables, some clinging to each other.
"I need you to stand up, all join hands, and very slowly walk over to me. I can get you home." She held out her hand.
"I'll protect you, but we need to move now." She took another step.
One child with watery brown eyes and long brown hair, stood.
Her dress was torn and her skin was coated with dust. Her voice wavered.
"I want to go home." She whispered.
"You will. Take your friends hand, come towards me."
Natasha didn't dare walk towards them, didn't dare upset the delicate balance of the room.
The brown haired girl took a shaky step forward, her eyes wet but her cheeks dry.
"Come on, Anna, we can go home." The girl very firmly stuck hand out and Anna, a small blonde haired girl, took it.
Slowly, the five of them joined hands.
"You're doing so well." Natasha breathed. "I know you're scared. Let's talk as we walk, hmm? Tell me your names."
The brunette at the front winced as they stepped around a fallen friend.
"I'm Molly." She whispered, jaw clenched.
"Anna." The blonde murmured.
Behind Anna was Jack then Emma, then Henry.
Emma was sobbing, her chest heaving as she fought to catch her breath in between sobs.
Natasha felt sick.
"Keep coming, you're nearly here, darlings. Just a couple more steps." Natasha soothed, arms held out.
When Molly reached her, Natasha held her arms around the five children, for just a moment.
"Ground team, this is Romanoff, I need whoever is closest to my location, to meet me. I have survivors."
Natasha took the hands of Molly and Henry and they walked, in a sort of semi circle, out into the fresh air.
She walked the children out of the danger zone and past the police tape and crouched down.
"I need you to wait here." Natasha said softly. "Do not move until an adult comes to get you. Okay?"
Molly sniffled and rubbed her eyes. "Okay."
Natasha nodded and stood, taking a step towards the building when a little hand touched hers.
"Thank you." Molly said softly.
"You're so strong, darling. I know you'll take good care of them until my friend gets here." Natasha brushed a thumb over her cheek.
"Now, sit with your friends. I'll be back out." She nodded.
Once Molly was back with the other four children, Natasha walked back into hell.
She carefully wound her way through the debris, kneeling and checking every single person for signs of life.
Natasha had gone past the point of feeling ill, and now numbly checked for pulses.
Teachers, covering their students.
Children caught as they tried to hide.
The monsters who caused this would pay dearly.
Natasha knelt to the second to last body, not expecting anything.
But the child was watching her, and whimpered as Natasha touched her.
Natasha snapped back to reality.
"Hey sweetheart, keep still for me. You're okay." She whispered, eyes scanning the little girls body.
She was bleeding from somewhere in her hair and her leg was stuck under a chunk of ceiling.
She was pale and breathing heavily, her eyes glazed and Natasha knew she was in shock, and the blood surrounded her leg bore bad news.
"You're okay." She whispered again, making a very fast decision.
The ceiling continued to fall and it was sheer luck that it hadn't triggered to bomb yet. They wouldn't be lucky for much longer.
She had to get the girl out, she had more chance of survival outside.
"Take a deep breath, sweetheart, scream and cry as much as you need. This is going to hurt but I promise you're okay. I've got you."
Natasha stood and moved to the debris crushing her leg and she got a good grip and pulled.
The girl screamed, the shrill sound echoing through what remained of the building.
By the time Natasha had gotten the debris off her, the girl had passed out.
Natasha felt sick as she saw the damage to her leg but she quickly bend and scooped the girl to her chest.
She would get the girl outside, come and check the last body.
But three things happened as Natasha stood.
One, the ceiling began to fall in chunks. Two, as the building fell, Natasha heard a beeping coming from close by. Three, through the smoke, Natasha saw the body on the floor move.
But then the beeping increased and Natasha had no choice but to run.
She had made it just outside the building before the explosion came.
Natasha bent, her whole body covering the girl on her grip.
A deafening noise filled her ears and white hot pain crawled up her back.
She screamed.
Her vision blurred as the noise around her died down.
For a moment, everything was dark.
She woke to a panicked cry of her voice, and agony searing her skin.
She lifted her head, her world off balance and sounding far away.
Bucky swam into focus and she had just enough presence of mind to remember the child.
She used all her energy to roll to the side, off of the girl.
More footsteps joined the noise and then Maria was there, kneeling at her side as Bucky took the girl she'd covered.
"Natasha?" A cold hand on her forehead.
"The girl." Natasha croaked, dragging her gaze to place she had been.
"Bucky took her." Maria frowned, pulling the woman up to meet her gaze. "Just now, remember?"
"The girl-" Natasha slurred, tipping forward as darkness came.
...
Natasha woke to a beeping.
Somewhat used to it, she didn't panic as she opened her eyes.
It took a moment for Natasha to remember what had happened but when she did, she sat upright.
She nudged to figure next to her, Clint, and he jerked up too, blinking.
"Nat, oh thank god." He sat beside her on the bed, cupping her face with his hands.
"The girl-" Natasha whispered, coughing to clear her throat.
"You saved her, Nat. If you hadn't covered her...you took the brunt of the impact." His gaze softened.
"I...What? What happened?" She frowned.
"When you got outside, the building came down. The debris, mixed with the explosion, did a lot of damage to your back. And you hit your head pretty hard. You're gonna be in pain for a little while, but you'll be okay." He took her hands and squeezed.
"You scared the life out of Buck and Maria." Clint murmured.
"What happened with the bombs? How long was I out?" She frowned. It was dark outside.
"We found the last couple of bombs, and Shield tracked down the people who set them. They're in custody now." A pause. "You've been out for about five hours."
"Shit." She murmured.
Then through the painful, drugged up haze, she remembered.
"Clean up." She looked up, eyes wide as she clambered out of the hospital bed.
She recognised it to be the Shield med bay and she walked quickly and with purpose to Fury's main meeting room.
She pushed through the door, Clint scrambling behind her.
Five pairs of eyes found her.
The pain took a back seat as she walked in and stood in front of Fury.
"Survivors, how many?" She asked.
Bucky, Steve, Bruce and Tony watched from their seats, looking sombre.
"89 so far." Nick sat back in his seat.
"Has clean up started on the school?"
"Nat." Clint said from behind her. "Clean up on the school is finished."
The redhead took a breath. "Apart from the six I got out, were there any survivors?"
Nick flicked through the documents and met her gaze before shaking his head.
The breath left Natasha and her legs faltered.
Clint grabbed her around the waist and they both landed on the floor.
"Natty?" Clint touched her hair.
"Before the building came down..." She whispered, eyes glazed as she shifted closer to Clint.
"There was a child left, I hadn't checked to see if they were alive yet. But...I saw them move. And I had to run-" her breathing hitched and Clint silently pulled her to his chest.
"Natasha, you saved so many lives today. You saved those six children and got severely hurt in the process. You can't beat yourself up over this. You did your best."
"They were alive." She hiccuped, shoulders shaking but no tears coming. "I left them. I promised them all they would go home."
Clint kissed her hair, eyes distraught as he looked up at the faces of their friends.
They'd all had a hell of a day.
Bucky in particular, couldn't meet Clint's gaze, his jaw locked as he focused on the floor.
"You did everything you could." Clint murmured.
"The kid had a family. Parents. Friends." She whispered, shuddering. "A mom."
Clint closed his eyes, swallowing hard. Ah.
A knock at the door and Clint looked up as Maria walked in, a small hand in hers.
"Nat." Clint nudged her and her gaze lifted.
The shaking stopped and Natasha stood.
"Lila." She whispered, running over to the little girl and lifting her up, arms encircling her as she held her to her chest.
Clint joined them moments later, wrapping them both in his grip.
Four mouths opened around the table but the pair made no notice.
Bucky was the first to realise, because the little girl with red hair and dimples, looked just like little Natasha had.
But those eyes were undeniably Clint's.
Natasha was finally crying now and she cradled the girl, no older than two, tightly.
"Oh, Lila, I love you so much." Natasha breathed, pulling her face back so she could really make sure it was her daughter.
Lila giggled and pressed her little hand to Natasha's cheek and the redhead smiled.
"Momma an' dada." Lila grinned, small clumsy hands patting Natasha's face.
Clint kissed her hair. "Let's go back to your room." He murmured.
Natasha nodded, holding her daughter close to her chest, Clint close behind as they left the room.
Bucky frowned, looking up at Maria. "How? The procedure-"
"Clint's sister, Laura, was their surrogate." She said quietly. "She's one hundred percent Clint and Natasha's."
"The hair does give it away." Tony murmured.
"Doesn't it just?" Bucky smiled, shaking his head.
"That child is gonna be something else." Steve exhaled.
"Well she's going to have a lot of family around her." Fury spoke, at the head of the table.
"Why was it a secret?" Bruce asked quietly.
"They weren't ready." Maria shrugged. "Now they are."
Clint had asked Maria to bring Laura and Lila to the compound.
After hearing about how she was found, body curled over a little girl, injured and unconscious.
After hearing from the five other children, how kind she had been, how strong and gentle. How she'd given them the courage to get out.
After hearing about the bodies in the school, the children no one was able to save.
Clint knew it was time.
Natasha had known too, the moment she'd rushed to pick up her baby.
The time for secrets was over.
The time for healing was just beginning.
But as Natasha and Clint sat in bed that night, with Lila curled up asleep in between them, they knew they would get through it.
They always did.