For Better or Worse
There's always one instance that comes to mind when Mac thinks of his worst day, but it's continually changing.
Sometimes his worst day is standing on a street in Amsterdam, realizing that he may never get to go home again. Sometimes it's his head lolling, and his vision blurring as Murdoc sits across from him, a too-happy grin stretching across his face. Sometimes it's staring at static, replaying the last breath of a beautiful woman over and over again as his eyes fill with tears. Sometimes it's El Noche. Sometimes it's Nicki.
Mac has had a million bad days, but when he thinks of the worst one, it's never the same day twice. Maybe Mac's life is just destined to be filled with bad days, each worse than the next until one day he finally does die, alone and afraid and unable to save the day for the first time.
But then he thinks of the good days.
He thinks of sitting on the deck, drinking a beer with Jack and teasing him about his gray hairs and his obsession with Die Hard. He thinks of hiding in the Lab in Mission City with Bozer and planning their next experiment. He thinks of the grin that spread across his face when Riley saved the day without any help from him. He thinks of every mission that succeeded, of every life he saved whether or not the people who lived on another day even knew he was there, to begin with.
There's always a million memories that come to mind whenever Mac thinks of his best day, and they're always changing, too—every time, without fail, there are more of them.
There's a lot of bad days in Mac's line of work, a lot of days that look like they're going to be the worst, and sometimes they turn out to be. But there's a lot of good days, too, and more often than not those turn out to be the best.
On Mac's worst days, he nearly dies alone. But on his best days, he saves hundreds of lives, and his friends are at his side every step of the way.