"Are you okay?" Peter dared to ask a few minutes after Harley stormed into the lab.
"I'm fine." Harley snapped, not looking up from whatever he was angrily sketching. Peter hadn't thought people could angrily sketch until he met Harley. It seemed to be the other boys go to when he was mad. Which was only half the reason Peter really didn't believe him.
"I'm pretty sure you're about to rip that paper." He pointed out. "What happened?"
"I said I'm fine Peter." Harley finally looked up, glaring over at Peter. It was almost angry enough to make Peter back out. Almost.
"Come on Harley, you never let me get away with that." Peter tried. Not that he sulked often, or he didn't think he did. Still, when he sulked Harley never let him bottle it up. Harley glared for a moment longer before sighing and placing down his pencil.
"FRIDAY, Tony won't see this right?" He asked, looking up at the ceiling. Technically FRIDAY didn't have a face to talk to, talking to the ceiling was the closest they could get.
"As long as it is not life-threatening, I will not bring it up with Boss," FRIDAY replied.
"Thanks." Harley nodded, looking back at Peter. He hesitated another moment, but Peter didn't push him this time. "Some guy wanted to meet me today. I figured it'd just be the standard meet and greet and never hear from potential parent again type thing, you now?" He started, shrugging like it was no big deal even though that sounded pretty shitty to Peter. Not that he could judge, he did the same thing when talking about things that were actually big deals. MJ liked to joke they inherited it from Tony.
"I'm guessing it didn't go well?" He prompted when Harley paused again.
"The asshole didn't even introduce himself, just started questioning me about Tony, and SI, and IronMan, and what kind of access I had." Harley spat, back to glaring though not at Peter this time. "Of course I didn't tell him shit, which just pissed the guy off. He had to be escorted out of the home."
"Jesus." Peter winced. After the excursion, he and Harley had been spending more time with Tony, rumours had been bound to pop up. Tony had confirmed he had taken a couple of genius interns under his wing (his words, not Peter's), but he'd tried to keep their names and faces from the media as much as possible. He'd still warned them people might figure it out, apparently, someone had. "You should tell Tony," Peter suggested.
"I can't," Harley said firmly. "I haven't even told him my ‘aunt' is actually the woman that runs the foster home."
"He could help," Peter said, though the argument was half-hearted at best. It wasn't exactly to tell one of the richest men alive that you had nothing. There were serval things Peter would rather not mention to Tony, almost all of them relating to money. Or a lack thereof really.
"I can handle it," Harley said. "It's no big deal, it's just annoying."
"If I may offer my advice, I would also suggest alerting Boss. At least to the fact, someone has figured out your identity." FRIDAY cut in.
"It'll be fine FRIDAY, it was probably just a one-off." Harley brushed her advice off. "Let's just talk about something different, alright? What are you doing with your web shooters over there?" Peter sighed, but went along with it. He started telling Harley all about the different components he was trying out with his web fluid, but how he needed to change the actual shooters if he wanted to use some of them.
"How's it coming along so far?" Harley asked.
"Let's check." Peter decided and, before Harley could catch on, he tested the webs on Harley. If they were changing the topic, he was at least going to try to cheer his friend up. A plan that worked when Dum-E handed Harley the second web shooter and they started a full out war.
When Tony walked into his lab ten minutes later he found it covered in webs, with Peter cheering on the roof and Harley stuck to the window. Dum-E had also joined in, using a fire extinguisher that had gotten over everything. Butterfingers and U were both stuck with webs themselves.
"Have all the fun without me why don't you." He greeted, chuckling with Peter jumped, falling from the roof but backflipping and landing gracefully on the floor.
"Uh, T-tony! Heeey." Peter grinned awkwardly, dragging out the greeting. "Sorry about the mess, we'll clean it up, promise." Tony looked around and yeah, they had a considerable mess that'd be hell to clean up. But Tony couldn't find it in himself to be mad, not when it looked like they'd had so much fun.
"Don't worry about it kid." He brushed off. "Though you might want to get Harley down before he develops laser eyes." He pointed out, chuckling.
"He cheated!" Harley announced.
"You never said I couldn't use my powers," Peter argued, heading over to start freeing Harley from the cocoon.
"Tony you should make me boots that stick to the ceiling, to even the playing field." Harley decided. Tony laughed, shaking his head. Harley was often demanding things like that, but Tony knew he'd end up doing it himself. Probably use one of the old IronMan suit boots and mess with Peter's web fluid compound until he got it.
"Sure bud." He agreed all the same. "So other than creating a huge mess, what'd you two get up to today?" Instantly the boys tensed and shared a look. Harley glared and apparently won whatever silent conversation they were having.
"Nothing," Harley said, clearly lying. "We were going to work on the web shooters before Peter shot them at me. That wasn't even a new compound you liar."
"I hadn't gotten to actually changing up the shooters." Peter shrugged. "Besides the new compounds way sticker, it'd be useless for a web fight."
"Your main weapon is just an innuendo waiting to happen," Harley said, finally managing to get free of the window.
"I'm waiting for him to get to Mark 69. Comedy gold." Tony grinned, eyeing an eye-roll from Peter though both boys were clearly trying not to chuckle. "Come on you two, let's get this cleaned up." He instructed, starting by taking the fire extinguisher from Dum-E.
That night, once the lab was spotless and the boys had eaten enough (especially Peter) then headed home Tony looked up to FRIDAY.
"You know what they're hiding baby girl?" He asked her.
"Yes, Boss." She answered though she didn't elaborate. Tony rose an eyebrow.
"Well?" He prompted.
"Harley asked that I not tell you," FRIDAY explained. Of course, he did, Tony sighed. "He also assured me he would be able to handle it." She added. Tony didn't like the idea of not knowing what was wrong, and he couldn't be sure Harley really could handle it, but he trusted his girl would tell him if it was really something bad.
"Okay, I won't push." Tony decided, still frowning. "But let me know if it gets worse, okay FRIDAY?"
"Of course." She nodded. Satisfied, Tony headed back down to the lab to work on a project he didn't want the boys knowing about. At least not yet.
It was not, in fact, a one-off thing. Instead, it was becoming annoyingly common for Harley to walk into an adoption meeting only to be assaulted with questions about Tony.
The most recent one was a pretty middle-aged woman with short brown hair and green eyes. She'd seemed kind at first, greeted him and asked him about his hobbies, for a second Harley had thought… but no, then she'd brought up Tony and SI and now it was just more of the same.
"Just tell me what you know." The woman, whose name he'd decided to forget, said. "Then we'll leave you alone."
"I'm not going to tell you or anyone else anything." Harley huffed. "And you can tell that to whatever boss you're working for." Because they had to all be connected, he'd decided when his name hadn't appeared in the media.
"It's a couple of simple questions, Harley." The woman continued, finally starting to sound frustrated.
"I'm not about to betray Tony's trust like that. Screw you." Harley snapped.
"Then we'll have to take further measures. I really don't think you want that." The woman threatened.
"Go to hell." Harley glared back. For a moment they stared at each other, then the woman stood and walked out. Helena came back in looking worried.
"What happened?" She asked. "Did she hurt you?"
"It was another bitch asking about Tony," Harley answered.
"Language Harley." Helena frowned. "Honestly that Stark has brought you nothing but trouble. If you cut ties with him they'd leave you alone."
"It's not Tony's fault people are pricks!" Harley defended, glaring at Helena and trying to convince himself he wasn't crying. So what if all his interviews were just jerks trying to learn about Tony. So what if he'd never have a family again. There was no need to cry about it. "Tony's done more for me than anyone."
"If he cared, he'd have adopted you, Harley." Helena sighed. "His playing parent and then leaving you here isn't helping anyone."
"He doesn't know." Harley snapped. "If anyone comes to have an interview tell them to fuck off. I'm done pretending any of them'll be real." He decided, pushing back from the table. He was out the door before Helena could tell him off for swearing.
"Hey Harls, you're here early." Tony greeted as Harley walked into the lab.
"Just really felt like getting started," Harley mumbled, heading over to his desk. Tony frowned as he walked the kid set up.
"Something wrong?" He asked.
"No," Harley claimed.
"Harley, that's a Peter-level lie. I thought you were better than that." Tony said, trying to keep the tone light.
"I said it was nothing." Harley snapped, glaring up at Tony. His tone and the obvious tears in his eyes took Tony by surprise. "I'm going to my lab." He muttered, grabbing his equipment and quickly leaving. Technically he and Peter both had small, private labs but they were rarely ever used.
"Come on FRIDAY, give me a hint at least." Tony sighed up at his ceiling. FRIDAY didn't reply right away, almost like the AI was hesitating. Tony believed that.
"Harley is assuring me he can handle it, and asking I do not tell you." She said. Technically, Tony could override any order Harley or Peter made, but he got the feeling that really wouldn't help this time. Tony sighed.
"Okay. Okay. Tell me when Peter gets here." Surely Peter will know.
"Hey, Mr Stark." Peter grinned nervously when he arrived. He only called Tony Mr Stark when he was nervous. Or trying to mess with Tony. "FRIDAY said you wanted to talk to me?"
"It's about Harley." Tony started, putting down his equipment and gesturing for Peter to sit with him on the couch.
"Is everything okay?" Peter asked, frowning as he took a seat.
"That's what I want to know." Tony sighed. "Somethings up with him lately, and he won't tell me what."
"Well uh, he hasn't told me anything." Peter claimed, shrinking when Tony rose an eyebrow."
"Yes, he has," Tony said. "Come on Peter, I just want to help."
"He doesn't want you to know," Peter mumbled.
"I can tell that much! What I didn't get is why?" Tony said, feeling his frustration grow. "What am I doing wrong here?"
"Nothing!" Peter quickly assured before he hesitated, chewing his bottom lip.
"Then what is it, Peter?" Tony asked. "'Cause I can't figure out what else could be the problem here."
"It's…" Peter paused, hesitating. "You have everything." He mumbled.
"What?" Tony frowned, confused.
"You have everything, and you've always had everything, and we don't." Peter elaborated without really making much more sense.
"I don't have ‘everything' Peter," Tony argued.
"I know, I know." Peter backpedalled, clearly trying to figure out how to phrase this. "But I mean, like, you have money and resources and we… we don't." He admitted, looking away and rubbing his arm. "Like, to you, money doesn't mean anything. You can through hundreds on a meal without blinking. Even just ten dollars means everything to me. I found ten dollars on the sidewalk once and I was thrilled, that was some guilt-free lunch money right there. And then I still felt guilty about buying myself lunch." Peter tried to explain.
"Peter, are you having money problems?" Tony frowned, suddenly concerned. "Why didn't you tell me? I can help."
"No, I mean yes, kind of. I mean-" Peter cut himself off with a groan. "That wasn't what I meant. You already do so much for me and I'm not going to ask you for money. I just mean, it's hard to bring that stuff up with you ‘cause it feels like something you'd never get. And it feels like it's such a stupid problem. And you already do so much for us. I already said that, but that's just because I really mean it. And Harley thinks the same. He doesn't want to bring up his problems because he doesn't want to bother you."
"And because he doesn't think I'll get it," Tony added, making Peter wince because that was not what he meant. He was so bad at this.
"It's not that he actually thinks you won't get it." He said. "It's just he's worried you might not. If you know what I mean. Argh, that sounded way better in my head. All of this has sounded way better in my head. Sorry." Peter mumbled.
"It's okay Peter," Tony said. "I think I get it, kind of. Harley's worried I'll think less of him if he tells me what's wrong, right?"
"Yeah." Peter nodded. "Logically he knows you won't, I swear, it's just he's worried."
"Alright. I can deal with that." Tony nodded. "But if he's not going to tell me how am I meant to help?" He asked. It was mostly for himself, but Peter was quick to answer.
"You could try to talk about it with him?" Peter offered. "Like mention that you noticed somethings off and just want to help. And don't let him walk off before he tells you." He elaborated. Tony sighed, running a hand through his hair. That sounded like it involved a lot of actual talking, he hated actual talking. Give him sarcasm over real emotions any day.
"Can't you just tell me what's wrong? You clearly know what's up." Tony asked. Peter shook his head.
"I wouldn't betray Harley's trust like that. Plus, I think it'll mean more if you actually talk to him." He said.
"Stop being responsible kid, it's horrible for my emotional shortcuts," Tony complained, playfully shoving Peter's shoulder. The shove didn't do anything, damn the kid's proportional strength of a spider.
"One of us has to be the adult, and Pepper's not around." Peter joked, jumping up from the couch. "I'm going to head down to the intern floors, see what everyone else is up to. Bye Tony." He said, quickly leaving the lab. Tony sighed again, just sitting for a minute.
"How did I get into this situation FRIDAY?" He asked, looking up at the ceiling.
"You became the father figure to a couple of teenagers Boss," FRIDAY answered. The question took Tony back for a second. He shouldn't be anyone's father figure, he'd be a terrible father. But then… but then he hadn't been doing a terrible job of looking after the kids, had he? "I think you're doing a great job of it, by the way," FRIDAY added, as though she could read his mind.
"Thanks, FRIDAY," Tony said softly before standing and stretching. "Well, guess it's time to be an emotionally supportive dad… mentor, thing, whatever." He shook the thoughts off, quickly heading towards Harley's private lab.
"Go away," Harley called when Tony knocked.
"Come on Harley, we need to talk," Tony argued.
"I'm fine." The teenager claimed.
"No, you're not," Tony said. "You know FRIDAY can unlock the door, right? I don't want to have to do that, but I will." Beyond the door there was more grumbling before Tony heard someone storming over. The lab door slid open, revealing a fuming Harley.
"What?" Harley demanded. Tony rose an eyebrow, gesturing for Harley to move so he could step in. Begrudgingly, Harley did.
"Okay kid, what's up?" Tony asked, leaning against one of the desks. Maybe he should get couches for Harley and Peter's labs. Why hadn't he in the first place? Oh right, to discourage them from spending the night in the lab the way he did.
"I told you, nothing," Harley claimed, arms crossed over his chest and head turned away.
"I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong." Tony pointed out.
"I don't need your help. Just leave me alone." Harley huffed. That made Tony pause, his insecurities taking their chance to jump up. He took a deep breath and pushed them down, trying to focus on the moment at hand. He did this, he reminded himself. Tony pushed people away when he needed help, trying to convince himself he didn't. What was that thing Rhodey as always telling him?
"It's okay to ask for help," Tony said, echoing his best friend. "You don't have to handle things alone."
"Like you really believe that." Harley scoffed.
"I didn't," Tony admitted. "Until I met you and Peter. I don't want you kids thinking you have to solve your problems alone, ‘cause I've been there and it doesn't work. When there's someone that can help, you should let them. They aren't going to think worse of you for it, Harley. I'm not going to think worse of you." As much as he wanted to look away, Tony forced himself to keep his eyes on Harley. It wasn't easy being open, but he needed to meet the kid halfway. Or he was pretty sure that's what he needed to do. God, he hoped he was doing this right. Should he have prepped more? Why didn't he ask FRIDAY to download a parenting book before he came in here? That would have been a genius idea.
"It's… um…" Harley's hesitant start snapped Tony out of his spiralling thoughts. The teenager was still looking anywhere but Tony, but now he looked nervous, not angry. "I don't actually live with my aunt." He mumbled.
"What?" Tony frowned.
"Helena's not my aunt. She's, she's in charge of the foster house I'm at." Harley admitted.
"You're at a foster house?" Tony asked. "Why didn't you tell me?" Harley shrugged.
"It's whatever. I always list her as my aunt on paperwork, and anyway, mums die there's no need to be a pussy about it, right?" The words were a punch to the gut for Tony. Why had he ever said that?
"No, not right," Tony said firmly. "I'm sorry I ever said that to you Harley, Dad's leaving and mum's dying, that's not a standard thing and it sucks." Harley seemed taken back a moment, looking to Tony in surprise than quickly looking away again.
"That's not the thing that's been bugging me lately." He mumbled. "There's been these people showing up to have adoption interviews, but all they do is ask about you."
"What?" Tony frowned. "There's been nothing in the media."
"I think they're all working for the same guy." Harley shrugged. "I haven't told them anything. And I told Helena to send people away, so it's not going to happen again." Tony faltered a moment, trying to figure out what the hell he was meant to do. Well he could… no that'd be a terrible idea… would it?
"What about your sister?" He asked when the silence was stretching too far.
"She was adopted a couple years ago," Harley said, shrugging again. "They didn't want two kids. I still see her sometimes, she seems happy."
"Without the interviews, what's the chances you'll get adopted?" Tony asked.
"Even with them I didn't have much of a chance," Harley mumbled. "But it's too big deal, Tony, really."
"Tell me if they try something else, okay?" Tony decided after a minute. "No hiding stuff like this."
"I will, I promise," Harley said. "Thanks for coming down to talk to me." He added, quietly.
"Of course bud. It was my first thought when you stormed out." Tony claimed. Harley gave him a disbelieving look and Tony gave in. "Okay, so I tried to get it out of Peter and he told me to come talk to you. But I would've figured it out eventually!" He claimed.
"Sure Tony." Harley chuckled.
"You wanna come up to the main lab kid?" Tony asked, pushing up off of the bench.
"I think I'm going to stay down here today. Just have some me time." Harley shook his head.
"Alright, I'll call ya when I order dinner." Tony nodded, ruffling Harley's hair when he walked past. "Don't work too hard." He instructed, getting an eye-roll before he left. Standing outside Harley's lab, Tony sighed.
"Did I do that right?" He asked FRIDAY.
"I believe you did well Boss," FRIDAY replied.
"I have no idea if you're telling the truth or not." Tony sighed again.
"Hey Pepper," Tony said the next day as he stepped into the woman's office.
"Why do I get the feeling this isn't work related?" Pepper sighed, not looking up from her paperwork. Tony grinned.
"You know me so well." He said before taking a serious tone. "It's about Harley."
"Is everything okay?" Pepper asked, now giving Tony her undivided attention.
"I found out yesterday he's in foster care," Tony explained. "And people have been bugging him to get to me."
"Oh." Pepper frowned. "Well, what are you going to do?"
"I don't know what I can do Pep." Tony sighed, plopping into the chair across from her desk.
"Yes, you do," Pepper argued. For a moment, Tony contemplated playing dumb. In the end, he decided there was no point. Not with Pepper.
"Do you think that's a good idea?" He asked. "I mean, I'm not exactly great father material."
"Maybe not three years ago, but Tony you've really changed since then," Pepper argued. "I think you'd make a great father to Harley, I think you already are a great one."
"What if he doesn't want me to adopt him?" Tony asked.
"I'm sure that won't be a problem." Pepper chuckled. "Legal can have the paperwork ready in an hour, and if you're unsure you can ask him before you actually file it."
"Maybe…" Tony mumbled.
That night Harley walked into the lab to find a pile of paperwork on the desk. "What's all this?" He asked Tony, walking over. He froze as he read the front page.
"Adoption papers," Tony said, trying to look like he was more engrossed in his project than in Harley's reaction. "They haven't been filed officially yet, but they can be done in the hour. If you want, that is."
"You're adopting me?" Harley asked, practically whispering.
"Only if you want me too." Tony clarified. "If not, forget I ever- oof!" Before Tony could finish he found himself tackled by Harley. After a moment of surprise, he hesitantly hugged back.
"Thank you," Harley whispered. "Thank you so much."
"'Course Harley," Tony mumbled back. "We can go file it now if you want. It won't be completely official for a little while but considering how much time you spend here already, and your rooms and everything, we should be able to get it fast-tracked."
"What about Peter?" Harley asked after a moment. Tony frowned.
"What do you mean?" He asked. "May's really Peter's aunt, right?"
"She is. It's just… I mean, you don't think he'll be jealous, or anything do you?" Harley mumbled. "Like, that I'm technically your son and he's not?"
"Why would he be jealous of that?" Tony's frown deepened.
"Come on, how have you not noticed how many times he almost calls you dad?" Harley pointed out.
"He doesn't almost call me dad," Tony claimed.
"Yes, he does Boss." FRIDAY cut in. "Quite often."
"What? Why hasn't he mentioned that?" Tony frowned.
"I believe he was embarrassed," FRIDAY answered because Harley was too busy laughing at him.
"Teenagers!" Tony scoffed.
All the same, after a phone call to May, one to Pepper, and assurances from Harley, Tony had the paperwork for Peter drawn up. When the spiderling swung in after patrol he had a similar reaction to Harley.
"What's this?" He asked, looking up to Harley and Tony.
"Harley was worried you'd be jealous when he becomes an official Stark," Tony said, once more trying to downplay how much he cared. "Besides, this way if anything happens to me it'll be easier for you to get inheritance and all that. Nothing else'll change or anything, May's already agreed to it." Peter just stared, trying to figure out which part to comment on first. Harley beat him to it.
"Now he's actually your dad." He said, smirking. Peter's face went bright red.
"You told him?!" He screeched.
"FRIDAY helped." Tony offered, unable to help a small smile. "And… you know, I don't mind if you call me Dad Peter." He said. "It's fine."
"Really?" Peter asked, back to staring wide-eyed at Tony.
"Yeah kid, it's fine." Tony nodded. "This mean you're fine with the adoption thing?" He asked.
"Of course!!" Peter nodded quickly. "Thanks, uh, Dad." He added awkwardly.
"Oh my god, just hug already." Harley huffed. "You two make me want to puke."
"What was that about the wet patch on my shirt?" Tony teased, laughing when Harley's face went red. Still, he pulled both boys into a hug and a few weeks later Tony had two sons. Though he didn't announce that, he did make it very clear what would happen to anyone found harassing his interns. Or revealing their information. Harley's life remained unrevealed and harassment-free after that.