Good Ol' Captain America

Steve was reading the newspaper when Tony came in, hair sticking up in all directions. The genius eyed Steve like he’d just kicked a puppy while pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“Good morning.” Steve smiled at the man, sure that Tony would say what was bothering him when he was ready.

Tony moved so he was leaning against the counter on the other side of Steve, flicking the newspaper. “You know they have news apps, right?”

Steve kept his face blank, tilting his head to the side. “App?”

“Yeah, y’know, the things on tablets and phones that have software built into them… Apps? Like Tumblr, Twitter, Youtube, and Facebook.”

“I- I’m not sure I even know what a ‘youtube’ is.” Steve smiled at the man, turning the page of the newspaper. “I’m good with actual paper Tony, thank you.”

Tony huffed, walking off and shaking his head at the ‘ridiculousness of old men.’

Steve had been dragged to an interview by Pepper, who frankly reminded him of Peggy too much for him to argue with.

He found himself being powdered by a woman, and shifted uncomfortably in his chair. But instead of just shoving himself up and batting her hands away like he felt like doing, he softened his voice and made himself look slightly confused. “Um, excuse me ma’am, but I don’t feel comfortable with makeup… I’m sure that you’re fantastic at your job and I hate you make your life hard, but… well…”

The woman seeped to pause, before her face softened into an expression that reminded him of someone looking at a puppy. “Oh, well you’re handsome enough without the makeup, and if it makes you uncomfortable… we can skip it.”

He smiled. “Shucks ma’am, thank you.” She blushed and he internally cheered.

The interview was mostly about how he was adjusting to life in the 20th century, and he smiled brilliantly at the hostess, pulling out the charm he’d picked up from Bucky. “Well, actually I think that it’s amazing. Food’s amazing, the technology is just… Well maybe that’s partially living with Tony Stark,” the audience laughed, “But i’m just so amazed with everything.”

The hostess nodded, obviously pleased with his words.

Steve waved his hands, a look of awe on his face still. “And the freedom! I mean, back in my day there was so much hate for gay people, people of color, and women. I remember walking down the street this last June and being so amazed at the Pride festivals! I think that’s really a testament to how far this country’s come.”

The whole building seemed to sit in silence for a few seconds, and Steve had to keep himself from laughing.

Weren't expecting that, were you?

Later that evening he found multiple memes on tumblr mocking the hostesses face, reposting them under his own username: CapAmericaFan1.

Steve found that the interview was also trending on youtube, and smiled politely when Clint asked him if he did that on purpose.

“Did what? I think that it’s amazing, Pride month. Now back when I was in the Howling Commandos-” Clint threw up his hands in frustration and he saw Natasha smirk from the corner of his eye as he started into a old war story.

It was hilarious to pull one over on the other Avengers, but even funnier to be around normal, everyday citizens.

Wherever he went, people automatically assumed that he was this righteous, hero, Captain America.

Steve was out on a food run one day with Natasha, when a group of men behind them started whistling and catcalling her. He felt her stiffen next to him, and turned around with a disapproving frown of his face. “Excuse me, I find that extremely offensive.”

The men seemed to pause.

“Captain America?” One of the men whispered, and then the whole group seemed to just straighten. “Oh, I’m so sorry sir, we just-”

“Just?” Steve pursed his lips in what he knew looked like disappointment, shaming them. “Son, this woman beside me is being assaultedwith every word that leaves your mouth. Would you want someone to do that to your mamma?”

They all shook their heads quickly, most of them hanging their heads in shame.

“Next time you think about your mamma hearing you say those words before you say them.”

The group nodded and moved on quickly, shame seeming to drip of their entire beings.

Turns out, Natasha had taken the opportunity to record this whole thing, and suddenly he was internet famous. Again.

Steve liked to run. He had a route, and when his internal clock went off, he woke up and ran.

Not to mention that it was hard enough to sleep, what with the nightmares, and the way his bed was unusually soft.

So he took the time he was supposed to be sleeping, to run.

His favorite path was actually pretty public, but the reason he liked it was this one guy. Like him, this one dude ran just as much as him. However, with the enhancements, Steve passed the man regularly.

Passing him once? "On your left."

The man said nothing.

Twice? "On your left."

The man huffed. “Uh huh. On my left. Got it.” Steve had to keep himself from chuckling.

The third time he was gearing up to pass, but the man started speeding up. “Don’t say it! Don’t you say it!”

He kept his face neutral. “On your left.”

“Come on!”

Steve saw the man sitting under a tree, out of breath, and Steve just had to. He was like the perfect target.

And that was how he ended up here.

Sam Wilson was surprisingly funny. And a veteran. But then he broke the mold. He knew the exact reason that Steve couldn’t sleep.

Steve almost felt bad for him after his question about the ‘good old days’, but just slipped right back into his ‘old guy’ routine.

“Things aren’t so bad. Food’s a lot better. We used to boil everything.” He almost broke concentration at the look on Sam’s face, but kept going out of sheer will. “No polio’s good… Internet, so helpful. Been reading that a lot trying to catch up.”

Then Sam was giving him a recommendation for a soundtrack he already listened to, but he pulled out his little book anyway, content to write it down beneath Rocky 3 and sell the act. “I’ll put it on the list.”

And if he smiled for the rest of the day because Sam had actually been nice to talk to, well he was Captain America, who were they to judge?