Communion
My head jerked back. I had to restrain myself from jumping to my feet, though I didn’t know if my impulse was to flee or fight, or something else entirely. There still was no trace of gold threads in his aura, but the green tendrils had reappeared and were twining towards me. “You’re not lying,” I blurted.
“No… for once in my life, I’m not.” His expression was sad, but peaceful. “I apologize if I have made things awkward between us, and do not blame you at all if you despise me. I will say no more—”
I lunged at him. He raised his hands, but by the time I made contact with him I was in my Aesir-like guard form, knocking him onto his back on the grass with my arms wrapped around him. Pushing his hands aside with my head, I mashed my mouth on his, remembering that as a traditional Aesir pair-bonding practice.
Loki held my face up, grinning. “Your enthusiasm is appreciated, but a little painful,” he said. “You taught me to fly. I’ll teach you to kiss.”
“Yes,” I agreed breathlessly. He rolled us both onto our sides and helped me arrange my arms to be minimally uncomfortable. Then he cupped his hands around my face again and leaned forward, pressing his lips against mine with sweet, deliberate slowness.
I’d play-mated with others of my own kind before, though I hadn’t traveled enough to have any experience with other sentient species. At firs I was afraid that I would burst out laughing, but that urge faded quickly as the kiss went on. Some things were very familiar—the tightness in my abdomen, the light-headed rushing of blood—but others were almost absurdly strange. I was very glad that this guard shape had been grafted on, since I felt sure I wouldn’t have been able to maintain the form under my own concentration. Every movement of his lips made my skin prickle, until I felt covered in sparks.
I felt him nibble at my lower lip, then a flicker of his tongue. Since I was following his lead, I opened my own mouth, though the idea of touching tongues seemed mildly disgusting. When his tongue slid alongside mine, I stiffened up and gasped, then wrenched my head away, panting.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
“I just… didn’t… that, I never…” I closed my eyes and concentrated on breathing evenly, my heart racing. When I looked up again, Loki was watching me with concern. “I honestly did not know that my tongue was so sensitive. It never occurred to me to have anyone—play with it before.”
He smirked at me. “There’s a reason tongue-kissing is popular among Aesir.”
“I suspect it’s a bit more than that,” I said. “I don’t have an Aesir tongue, I have a dragon’s tongue. It’s—probably about as sensitive as this.” I brushed my fingers along his erect penis that had been poking me in the stomach. Now it was his turn to tense his muscles and inhale sharply, his eyes widening.
“Ah… I see,” he said, catching his breath. “Does that mean you would rather not do that, or that you’d like to do more of it?”
In answer, I leaned forward and kissed him, licking at his lip. He opened his mouth, and for a while I was beyond distracted, completely lost in stimulation, my entire body shuddering against his. I felt like my nerves were full of lightning, with sensation heightened beyond anything I’d experienced in this form. The intensity increased until it reached a plateau far past the point where I was capable of coherent thought. By then I was sensitive enough that I could actually feel his aura wrapped around me, the soft stroking of green tendrils against my skin.
Eventually I realized that I was lying on my back and he was half-lying on my chest, watching me with an amused expression. I had no idea when he’d stopped kissing me, but it took a while before I could open my eyes and see anything but vibrant swirls of color, and for my body to stop twitching.
“Now I know how to completely incapacitate your people,” he said, red eyes shining. “When Asgard invades your home, our warriors will kiss yours into submission!”
“I think I know a technique that may be an adequate counter for that,” I said, wrapping my legs around his. “Would you like me to demonstrate?”
“Oh, absolutely,” he replied as I wriggled his body on top of mine. “I was charged to learn as much as possible about your…” His words trailed off into an inarticulate groan as I tilted my hips, letting his shaft slide into my vent. I’d already retracted my own phallus into its internal pouch, so that only the tip was left exposed to rub very pleasantly along the top of his. He nuzzled into my neck, breathing heavily as he began thrusting inside me. I tried to purr, but the Aesir body didn’t have a larynx for it, so I ended up producing a long, rumbling moan that intensified as Loki lifted his head and kissed me.
He leaned away until he was almost sitting up, his movements slowing. “Say my name,” he said, staring intently into my eyes.
“Loki,” I whispered, staring back as my breath hitched.
He lowered his head and kissed me again. The tension in his aura surrounded me as I dug my fingers into the small of his back. Breaking away from the kiss again, he nuzzled the side of my head. “Say my name,” he growled again.
“Loki!” I gasped. I wrapped my legs behind his hips as he knelt on the turf, squirming under the cascade of sensation, physical and aetheric. I could feel the tightness in his belly as if it were my own.
Shapeshifter mating is always intense, due to the pattern resonance, but this had become something else entirely. Some barrier in him was cracking, and underneath it was an almost desperate hunger, a lifelong craving that I could see the shape of, but didn’t entirely understand. “Say my name!” he demanded, then sank his teeth into my throat.
“Loki, Loki, yes, Loki, love you, Loki, stars, yes,” I said, the words underscored by the almost violent storm of emotions that was welling up around me. He folded his arms around me, climaxing as I chanted his name, and as his control slipped I could feel the depth of his need, to be recognized, to be respected and admired for who and what he was. Centuries of standing in his brother’s shadow, his gifts and talents denigrated by a society that had turned away from the aetheric arts, standing near the top of that shining civilization where none could touch him while always feeling subtly different, excluded, wrong. He’d built an enclave of admirers, but even while they praised and adored him they still considered him an outsider, and he couldn’t help despising them for it. Wrapped in layers of illusions, schemes, and arrogance, more than anything else, he wanted to be seen, to be known, to be understood… to belong.
I realized that I could pour my entire self into that void if I wasn’t careful, and yet never fill it. His need was ragged around the edges, with fragile walls built to keep it contained but always threatening to collapse into despair, possibly even madness. It was a knot in his soul that would take much more time to unweave than could be done in a single afternoon.
There was a gentle sensation of falling as I became aware of my surroundings again. Loki was sprawled across my body, his eyes closed and breathing regular. I nuzzled the top of his head and gently wiped a trace of wetness across his cheek with my thumb. He stirred, rolling off me and onto his side, then stretched with a casual sensuousness worthy of any dragon. “What… was that?” he said, his voice slow and sleepy.
Still lying on my back, I snickered as I raised a hand and sketched a quick pattern in the air, a practiced spell that cleansed both our bodies as if we’d just emerged from a warm bath. “I should think it was generally apparent, even if somewhat different in the specifics,” I said dryly.
Propping himself up on one elbow, he gave me an expression somewhere between a smirk and a grimace. “Several members of the New Constellation have latched onto the libertine lifestyle, and some of their private parties—well. I think it’s safe to say that there isn’t much I haven’t at least tried, between consenting adult Aesir of various genders and combinations.”
I nodded. “I believe my background is similar, for Niddroghn rather than Aesir, of course.”
“So then, can you explain what that was so much—more…” He waved his hand vaguely. “Intense?”
“Oh!” I felt myself blushing a bit, and rubbed my face in an effort to cover it. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even realize… or think to tell you. It’s pattern resonance. Because we’re both shape-shifters.”
“It certainly wasn’t a bad surprise,” he said, his smirk widening. “But I don’t understand what that has to do with anything.”
I blew out a sigh and looked up at him with a half-smile. “The explanation is long, complex, and on the technical side.”
“Perhaps later, then,” he said, stifling a yawn.
I mumbled something incoherent in agreement, shuffling into a more comfortable position as he draped himself across and alongside my body, and let myself relax in the warm afternoon sunlight.
When I opened my eyes again, the shadow of the standing stone was stretched nearly to the treeline around the clearing, and one of my arms was tingling. I pulled it out from under him and flexed it gingerly as he blinked and raised his head. “Time to go?” he murmured, stretching lazily.
“Almost… now I have some things I need to tell you.”
He was alert in an instant, his red eyes glowing as the darkness gathered around us. “Very well,” he said, and I could see him bracing himself as I had done before.
“First—and you’ve probably guessed this already—I was given an assignment, just as you were, to gather information.” I half-smiled at him. “I wasn’t expecting you, none of us did, but I had been given instructions and training to blend in and learn as much as possible from the Aesir. When you approached me, I was given permission to… pursue you.”
Loki nodded. “We’re even on that score,” he replied.
“Second, I wanted to let you know that I forgive you.”
Now he smiled, and I smiled back. “And third…” I paused, feeling reluctance like a wall of force that I had to push my way through. “I—I also, I love you.” Once the words were out, I understood what Aizerue had meant when e said that I would know it when I felt it.
He tilted his head. “You mean that?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said, suddenly desperate to spill the words out. “We suspected you might have known about the ambush, or even been involved in planning it, and I was warned not to let myself get too involved, but I couldn’t stop. No—I didn’t want to. I could have changed my pattern to distance myself from you, but I kept hesitating, up until we realized that you hadn’t been told about your heritage.”
He touched my lips with one cobalt finger and shook his head slightly. “You do not need to convince me,” he said. “I believe you. I just—my entire world has come unmoored, and… trust was never easy for me to begin with. I’m… afraid.” I could see how hard it was for him to admit it.
I released him and rolled onto my back, then reached into the aether and began weaving a simple pattern. Loki raised himself on his elbow again and watched curiously. In a few seconds it was done, and I held it out to him. “I offer you this freely,” I said. “Wear this, and you will instantly know if I lie, to you or to anyone.” He looked at me, clearly reluctant. I took his hand and placed the aetheric pattern in his palm. “I suppose there’s a fourth thing I should tell you,” I said, feeling my face heat with another blush. “I know when you’re lying. I’ve learned to see it in your aura.”
I’m not sure what response I had been expecting, but it certainly wasn’t for him to burst out laughing. “Really? When did you learn that?” he said, his aura sparkling with amusement.
“I first saw it clearly when you—asked my gender,” I said, “but I didn’t confirm what it meant until later.”
“My best defense, my keenest weapon, and you saw right through it.” He held the glowing pattern in his hand, still smiling. “I’ve been naked to you all along, haven’t I?” I started to protest, but he shook his head. “It’s all right. You’ve given me so much truth… it’s only fair.” He looked at the pattern for a minute, then up at me. “Um—I’m not sure how to…”
I snorted, then sat up and showed him how to weave the knots into his aetheric pattern. “We grow up being able to see auras,” I explained as I worked. “I can lie or hide my emotions without it showing aetherically, but this is a direct connection. I can’t conceal… anything through it.”
“Just as I can’t hide anything from you,” he said. He stood up a little unsteadily and tottered over to his neatly folded pile of clothing.
I shifted to my native form as I watched him dress. “I can teach you how to see auras easily, and how to manipulate yours. It’s linked to shapeshifting, so I suspect you’ll pick it up quickly.”
“I doubt we’ll have much time for that,” he said. He cast a small pattern on the palms of both hands and then ran them over his hair, slicking it back into its usual perfectly sleek style, though I was a little disappointed to see the curls disappear. “Even once this business with Tyr is settled, there’s still the negotiations, and then… if Odin doesn’t recover, I will be—busy, for some time. Although I can certainly come visit you once we have a proper treaty, if I’m allowed, or you could visit me.”
“I’d hoped… I don’t know how, if, it could work with you being the heir to the throne of Asgard, but… I’d hoped to bring you to my home.”
His head snapped up. “To Nastrond?”
I twitched my wings, knowing that he could feel my hesitation through the pattern I’d just given him, then sat up on my haunches. “I’m going to tell you—our greatest secret,” I said, looking at him intently. “This is the big one, Loki. With this information, Asgard could destroy us.”
Loki stepped forward, extending his hands, and I took them gently in my foreclaws. “I will not betray your trust,” he said. The pattern I’d seen earlier flashed again, suffusing his aura. “Whatever happens, I will take this knowledge to my grave, sealed to silence. This I swear.”
I leaned down and nuzzled his forehead, closing my eyes and sighing quietly. “I believe you.” Leaning back, I released his hands and cupped my claws, drawing up a sphere of light that illuminated the open field around us.
“Nastrond, Helheim, is not our home,” I said. An image of the dark, blighted swamplands of Nastrond appeared, filled with swirling mists and twisted trees. Vague shadows of lumpy, misshapen buildings squatted in the distance. “It’s the duty of each of us to spend some time living there, to maintain the illusion that it is the entirety of our world, but we don’t like it much. However, it does make an excellent barrier, protecting the hidden gateway to Nidheim.”
The image changed to one of my favorite memories, gliding across the thermals high in the Valley of Prisms. Waterfalls on every side of the enormous canyon glistened in the sun, and with a little aetheric assistance shone rainbows in sweeping rings and crescents everywhere one looked. Lush foliage lined the mighty river that took up almost the entire floor of the ravine, climbing the cliffs on all sides in a riot of wild greenery. The scene followed my path as I ascended the vast cataract at the valley’s end and rose above the surface of a deep blue lake surrounded by hills.
“This is our capital,” I said, as the image zoomed towards the island in the middle of the lake. There was a single large structure on the island, an open amphitheater surmounted by a ring of pillars supporting a series of open arches, with circular tiers of white stone that blazed in the sunlight, but did not blind.
And everywhere, there were dragons. Perching or lying on the tiers of the amphitheater and along the stone arches, flying at various heights, playing in the water on the island’s shore, and more. Bright scales of every color echoed the rainbows in the valley below.
The scene in my memory swooped down to land on a high tier of the building. “It is called the Caldera,” I said. “This is where our government is conducted. There are a few members of other species, representing various sentient species that we share territory with, but most of the people you see that don’t look like dragons are shapeshifted Niddroghn.”
“It’s… beautiful,” Loki breathed, his voice awed. “As magnificent as Asgard, or more. This is your home?”
“Not exactly,” I said. “I’m from another area, Heartwood, a forest of giant trees. I can show it to you—the nesting grounds where I was hatched, the city of living wood—and more.” I ended the image and looked into the embers of his eyes glowing in the darkness. “Come home with me. There is so much to show you, so much to teach you about your abilities, about the aether.” I stopped as I realized that I was almost pleading with him.
“Would they let me in?” Loki asked, sounding uncertain.
“If you come with me, I will gladly stake my life for your entrance.”
“Your life?” He leaned away, frowning slightly, and I felt that I was coming close to making a wreck of the whole idea before it was properly launched.
“Everyone who is brought in from outside must have a native willing to vouch for them,” I explained. “The native is responsible for the outsider’s behavior, and for them keeping the secret. What I’ve already told you could cost my life if you used it to attack us.”
“You trust me… that much,” he said, reaching up to stroke the side of my muzzle. I could see tears gathering under his glowing eyes. “After everything you’ve given me, and knowing what I’ve done, you would give me this as well. My own… family, didn’t…” His voice choked and I folded him in my forearms, wings angled forward to mantle around us, as he sobbed brokenly.
I wanted to soothe him, make promises, anything to tell him how much I cared for him, but I couldn’t make the words come. Still, I felt his aura curling around me, green tendrils that gently caressed me. “I know,” he said into my shoulder. “Sigyn… how could I not love you?”
I realized that I didn’t need words to express myself. My purr rumbled through the clear night air as I nuzzled his head.