Steve's Story
My heart wouldn't stop attacking my ribs as I stared at Bucky across the table, a piece of paper laid out in front of me and a serious look on his face. Behind him stood Nat, Clint, Fury and Phil.
They knew my classification now.
Let me explain what happened.
******
It started when I was 15, back when it was the early 1940's, me and Bucky had gone to get classified. He tested as a caregiver and I was a little.
It was perfect.
He looked after me for a way, making sure I was cared for and everything was going great.
Until he decided to join the Army at 20.
I smiled through it all. The sign up, the training everything. But that didn't stop me from signing up constantly either. He didn't approve of it honestly, he almost ordered me not to sign up but let it go when he saw how desperate I was.
He still went though.
The thing was the laws stated that I could be by my self, I didn't need a caregiver. I didn't need to meet other littles. Hell 'little-time' was often looked down a-pon because of the depression and the whole 'using unnecessary supplies.' I'd refused to go into the little space, even after becoming a super solider. I didn't want to go back to that.
And then the whole ice thing happened and I woke up in a world were I knew no-one and had new laws to follow. I scoffed against the idea of them, deciding that I could pass as a neutral and was beyond glad I hid my classification from the public during the war. It worked well, Nick Fury even thought I was a neutral and he seemed to spot littles from a mile away even with one eye. He even put me on a team called the Avengers except there was a small problem two of them were caregivers and two were unclassified and the other a neutral. They'd spot my ticks if I wasn't careful and I couldn't allow that.
I started only talking to them during training and battles, often going out for 'runs' morning, noon and night. If I wasn't running I was on my floor 'relaxing', that's what they thought but really I was in a constant battle not to have a break down or crash into little space. It'd been over 70 years since I was little and it was like a small poke would send me into the drowning depths of little space.
Then Bucky showed back up - The winter solider really - I'd been alone when I finally found him. "Bucky?" I remember asking him un-sure of his reaction, when all I got was a silent, blank stare I felt my heart stutter.
Did he not remember me?
Did he forget me?
Did daddy not know me?
I shook my head of that thought, remembering that wasn't me. I wasn't a little. No, I was a neutral, that's what I was. So for weeks and weeks I tried to get him to recognise me, to see me! Sam helped, hell the whole team helped as much as they could. Tony even started attacking the programming in Bucky's mind to get him back to normal.
It took months and finally in the dead of night I got an idea. Everyone thought I was a neutral but Bucky knew the truth, what if I went down there and...prodded the caregiving side? Taking a deep, stuttering breath I walked to the elevator and gulped. "Friday...to Bucky's floor please." I ask softly, entering the elevator I hear her voice filter through.
"Certainly! Should I inform the others of another attempt on bringing him back?" She asks, I shiver, knowing that if they knew they'd be here in minutes to watch.
"No..no, I'm just going up to see him is all." I tell her, I don't hear anything and assume she's agreed as the elevator starts moving.
"I've taken the liberty of informing the team you have gone out for a morning run Captain." She chimes in. I sigh in relief and wait patiently for the elevator to arrive at the floor.
******
Arriving on the floor wasn't too bad, walking out I could see Bucky had moved from his previous spot in the middle of the room to a sofa in the corner of the room. His eyes were still dull and I gulped a little, walking over to him I bend down to his level. "Bucky?" I whisper, he doesn't respond so I try again. "Buck?" Still no response. Time to try the plan. "D...Daddy?" I whisper out, his eyes flashed for a moment before going dull again. It was working. "D-Daddy please.." I mumble, moving my hand to him letting my little thoughts guide my movements. "Daddy...I...remember me please" I mumble, before I know it I have tight arms wrapped around me. "D....Daddy?" I whisper, feeling his arms tighten around me I give a small gasp.
"Steven Grant Rodgers what the hell are you doing out here alone?" His voice was gravely and I felt a chill run up my spine.
"Y-You were gone a-and under control of someone" I mumble, squirming in his hold. "Scared me a bit." I mumble, he snorts above me his hand gliding down to my behind.
"....Why aren't you padded?" He growls out and I gulp. "Don't try to lie to me little man, I remember a lot from my time alive and I sure as hell know they haven't changed that law." He warns steadily. I feel my heart stop for a moment. "Answer me right now Steven!" He orders and I back up a bit though he keeps me caged in his arms.
"I...I.." I stutter and finally shake my self out of the small bit of little space I was falling into. "Captain America cannot be little." I tell him. "You know this Bucky. You know they made me hide my classification." I tell him, bending back to look him in the eyes. He doesn't seem to agree with this, he never did but he released me.
"...The others don't know?" He asks with a frown, I shake my head again. He gives a deep, almost painful, sigh and shook his head. "Jesus Steve..." He mutters. "You need to tell them. You know its not healthy to-" He starts to say and I interrupt him.
"I can't....Not yet....they can't know Buck.." I mutter, his eyes keep a steely look but I could see them softening. "Please. If the public find out-If the team find out..." I whimper.
"I'll let it go for now...." He mutters, pulling me back in for another hug. I relax at that, sighing in relief "I'll let it go but you better come up for little time weekly." He warns and I feel my self stiffen again. "Don't argue with me Steve. If you don't come up I'll tell the team. I'll let your pirate friend know what's going on." He warns and I groan.
"f..Fine." I mutter. He chuckles and I know he's smirking at me. "B-but I'm not wearing d-diapers..." I argue and I can just tell he's frowning at that.
"Steve, you fall under four years old in head space." He mutters, I whine a little. "...I'll get you some pull-ups but I will make sure your wearing daily" He warns and I whimper.
"Buck..." I whisper with a whimper. The other ignored me and lets me go.
"I mean it Steve." He says sternly. I just give a small nod.
"Ok, fine." I concede. He nods and that's when that's when we worked out a schedule.
******
From that day on for over 3 months me and Bucky would go to his floor every Wednesday and spend the whole day together with me attempting to get into little space. Key word being Attempt. Apparently 70 years of backlogged little time makes it incredibly hard to get back to little space.
So on the first Wednesday of the fourth month, I skipped mine and Bucky's little time. I was stressed from just trying and tired of failing so I wanted a break from it. Instead of going I went out and visited Brooklyn for the day to take a look around at what had changed. When nothing happened from that skipped meeting, I missed the next one, then the next. I even stopped wearing pull-ups through out the day. Maybe my biology truly had changed and I wasn't a little anymore. Bucky couldn't force me anyways...
By the final Wednesday of the month I thought I was free of it until I saw a very pissed off Bucky storming towards me.
Fuck Bucky could totally force me.
A hand all but glided to the front of my trousers, I froze in realisation that he was checking for the pull-up and that he was checking in front of the others. Natasha and Clint stopped what they were doing in the kitchen to stare in shock, Tony all but bolted out the room and Bruce looked uncomfortable but watched what was happening. Bucky's steely blue eyes stared into mine and I knew I was fucked.
"Steven Grant Rogers you better explain to me where you've been for the last 3 weeks and why you're not wearing your diapers." He growls out. Shit, He said diapers not pull-ups. He's pissed. He releases me and grabs my ear tightly. I wince glad it's his flesh hand and not the other.
"Wait what diapers?" Clint asks looking up in shock. "Are you saying Captain America is a little?" He asks surprised, Natasha elbows him. "Owch."
"Yes Clint. Steven's a little. Has been since before Captain America, though the government didn't particularly agree with it so had him hide it. He thought it was ok to keep hiding it even after we came to an agreement" He says sternly, twisting my ear lightly.
"Ow, ow! Bucky! Ow" I squeak out, squirming in his hold. I could feel my blush rising and I could hear Clint snicker and Natasha give a deep sigh.
"I'm going to get him sorted. Think you can let Captain Eyepatch know what's going on?" He asks, not really waiting for an answer he drags me to the elevator, smacking my butt with each step, I give low whines and squirm in his hold as the elevator starts to climb. Tears spring to my eyes as a sob escapes me, Bucky doesn't react he's quiet, he at least released my ear.
"B-Buck...Buck..." I whisper, my voice cracking as I hold back tears, he looks at me and my heart stops, I sniffle loudly. "I-I can't...Buck c-can't" I can't seem to get my words out to explain, he sighs loudly and pulls me into a side hug as the elevator continues to climb.
"You can and you will. We're going to get you bathed, padded, in some comfy pyjama's and then we'll talk ok?" He promises, the doors to the elevator open and I give a small whimper at the sight of the front room. Toys for littles were scattered all over the floor, a play-pen in front of the TV and what looks to be a high chair in the corner. I gulp and go to back up but Bucky's hold on my shoulder has me propelling forward to wards the front room. "Friday, doll, how's that bath looking?" He asks and Friday responds immediately.
"The tub is filled and the baby Seat is secured!" She chimes in and I stiffen. I hated that seat, it kept me trapped and gave Bucky full access to everything he needed. It was a monster of a seat and I hated it. He didn't seem to care about my dislike for it as he guided me to the bathroom. I saw that blasted chair sitting in the tub, no toys or anything. I remember one of Bucky's rules from before the war.
'Naughty little boys don't get toys in the bath'
I shiver at the memory and go to tell Bucky that I could shower just fine but one look at those steely eyes told me not to argue. I let him strip me down and lift me into the tub, blushing as my legs are spread open between the bars. I squirmed a little as my slightly sore butt made contact with the wet plastic. "Steve, hold still." He warns, I give a low whine. "If you behave you won't be in as much trouble as you are now." He promises and I stop squirming immediately. I knew this was a rule.
'Behave through out the day and punishments are lessened.'
That was the first rule Bucky and I had agreed on. I gulped and let him wash me, I felt the wash cloth go over my chest and back.
"B-" I start but get silenced as the cloth goes over my face. I pout at him a little and I see him smirk. He planned that, he keeps washing me and humming to himself. I'm pretty sure he's trying to get me into little space but I don't think it'll work. No way. Nope. Daddy's just being silly.
"Ok little guy, you're all clean so lets get you all comfy and in pyjama's and then we can talk and into bed" He comments and I flush feeling daddy lift me out of the chair. I shiver as the cold air makes contact with my skin. It was cold out of the bath, did daddy not get that? I whined a little as he carried me out of the room until we entered the bedroom, my heart stopped when I spotted a changing matt and a pack of diapers on the floor. "We'll be getting your nursery all sorted soon" He promises and sets me down on the matt. "Oh Stevie are you getting cold?" He asks, tracing his fingers over my goose bumps. I shiver, god daddy's such a bully.
I watched daddy diaper me nice and snug, just the way I used to like it. Then he pulls a white snap crotch vest and I help him put it on by raising my arms high above my head just like he asked! He then pulled out a pair of blue flannel pyjama's that I also helped him put on my by lifting my butt. He was so proud of me for doing as I was told. "Who's my good little boy?" Daddy asks, tickling my side. I give a small giggle and squirm away from his tickling fingers. "I asked you a question Stevie, who's my good little guy?" He asks and I grin giggling out happily.
"I am daddy!" I giggle loudly, his hands soon stop tickling and he chuckles looking down at me.
"Lets get those socks on ok?" He asks, I nod happily humming at the feeling of his fingers rubbing small circles into my stomach, melting into the embrace. A few more minutes later he pops some fluffy panda socks onto my feet. My head feels so fuzzy and it takes a moment to realize that I've fallen pretty deep into head space. I know Bucky well enough to know he wont lecture me in little space about something I did outside of it. I feel him hook his arms under my armpits and balance me on his hip.
"Now, I know I said we'd have a talk but I don't think your big enough to really listen to what I have to say, so we're going to eat something nice and nummy then we'll pop you in your bedroom ok? We'll see if your big enough for a chat tomorrow." He promises.
See? I told you he wouldn't lecture me in little space. Daddy's so predictable.....don't tell him I thought that though cause he gets so grumpy when he thinks people know him that well.
I'm snapped back to reality by daddy taking me to the kitchen were it looks like he had food prepped and kept nice and warm. I squirm as he places me in a plain white high chair and clips me in, the tray attaching to the chair. I watch him walk over to the stove and stir whatever it is he's cooking. I decide to ask. "Daddy? What'cha makin'?" I ask swinging my legs slightly. Daddy looks back to me, a smirk on his face.
"Well, daddy here remembers a certain Brooklyn bunny enjoying his chicken noodle soup back in the 30's and 40's so I hope you still like it." He says casually and I gasp. Daddy knows me so well! I swing my legs a bit more excitedly, watching him cook happily. Not long after that I ate the soup and found my self stuffed full. Daddy seemed happy with how much I ate as he took the bowl away (it was my 4th one) and wiped my face off with a damp cloth. I give a low whine and squirm under the touch.
"Daddddyy" I whine loudly, feeling him lift me out of the chair I give a soft yawn.
"Oh I know little guy, it's so late for you to be up isn't it?" He asks but I know he's not really asking cause he just wonders into his room again. It takes a moment for me to realise that there was a crib in the corner of the room. "We need to talk about how to decorate a nursery for you when your back to normal Stevie but for now lets get you to sleep." He mumbles, I pout a little and grumble as he lays me in the crib. "Don't grumble, grumpy butt it's bed time." He chuckles and brushes a hand through my hair. "I even got a special paci for you." He says, casually showing me a raccoon pacifier before popping it in my mouth. "I'm going to go and clean up a bit, you go to sleep ok?" He says running another hand through my hair, I hum a little sucking on the pacifier happily.
It didn't take long for me to fall asleep after he leaves.
******
By the next morning I was very much out of the small window of little space I'd fallen into, Bucky had apparently caught onto that and instead of punishing me like I thought he would he sat me down on the bed and sat across from me. He was quiet and that worried me a bit. Maybe he didn't want to be my daddy any more? "Steve." He whispers and I'm back to sitting in front of him. I look at him with a gulp. "I need you to listen to me ok?" He asks and I nod awkwardly. "Verbal answers please Steve." He mumbles and I gulp.
"Y...Yeah." I pause. "...Am I still in big trouble?" I whisper and I wash Bucky smirk slightly before sighing and shaking his head.
"After a chat with the other caregivers we came to the decision that any little under our care will not be punished for something they did out side of the COL contract." I tilt my head confused. "Care Of Littles Contract." He states and I nod. "That means that the most you'll be getting for disobeying me for the last month is a stern lecture on the need for little space and what harm it could cause to your mental state." He says with a sigh.
"But I...I couldn't get into head-space at all..." I mumble, I know I couldn't there was no way I'd been able to fall into head-space before last night.
"That's were you're wrong Steve. Yes, you were between head-space a lot through out the first two months but you did fall into it a lot more than you realised" He tells me gently. "Me, Nat, Fury, Clint, Sam and Phil are on the COL Contract because not only will I be your main caregiver so will they. I talked to them all last night after you were asleep and every one of them apart from Bruce and Tony thought you were a little." He lets me know. "The contract will be amended when Bruce gets classified as well as Thor when he's back on home world but for now it's a basic contract agreeing to giving us the guardianship of yourself when little. You understand?" He asks and I go to nod again, but I remember his rule from earlier.
"....Yeah I understand." I mumble.
"You don't have to sign it Steve. We can send you to day-cares through out the day and set you up with caregivers if you'd find that better and-" My heart stops. I wasn't losing daddy again, no way in a million years.
"No! I want to sign it! I don't want anyone else" I shout out sniffling, Bucky rests his hand on my shoulder and takes a deep breath.
"Calm down Steve, we'll head over to the study and take a look at the papers ok?" He says gently. "Though lets get some food in you first ok?" I nod gently.
******
That's how I ended up hear, across the table from all of them, sat in a diaper and a vest with a piece of paper in front of me and a pen. I gulped looking at the whole contract and scanned it over.
'COL Contract
The little that is currently being looked into being brought into care is one Steven Grant Rogers. The little will be falling under the care of :
- Natasha Romanov
- Bucky Barnes
- Nick Fury
- Phil Coulson
- Clint Barton
- Sam Wilson
At this time this caregiver (Or caregivers) have a total of 0 littles under there care. The little in question agrees to the care from the caregivers and will be allowed to vocalise the wish of other littles joining their caregivers care. Steven Grant Rogers agrees to the punishments listed below -
- Time out
- Lines
- Spanking
- Earlier Bed-time
- Removal of TV time.
The little will also obey the staple rules in which are stated below -
- Be little at least four days a week.
- When feeling little tell one of the caregivers.
- Don't fight little space.
- If you're uncomfortable about something say so.
- Bath time every night before bed.
- Dinner is 6:30pm.
- Use your manners. Please, thank-you etc.
- If you want more little time just ask.
- No throwing things (Except at Bad guys.)
- Don't hold back your feelings.
- Express your feelings - Cry if you wish, laugh if you want.
- Play with other littles nicely.
- Share with others
- Don't try to avoid wearing Diapers/Pull-ups.
Rules made specifically for Steven Grant Rogers -
- Bed-time is 9:30pm
- One nap a day.
- Spending at least two hours at a play date with other littles (Friends made at a day-care of other).
Steven Grant Rogers allows amendments to be added to this contract as time proceeds.'
I read through the rest quietly and soon picked up the pen "You're ok with everything there Steve?" Natasha asks, I look up. Nodding awkwardly.
"Mhm..." I hum and she smiles gently as I sign the paper. Clint comes over and gently lifts me into the air and onto his hip.
"Hey Steve, Sam's not here right now because he's running his therapy group today. How about you and me go watch some cool TV yeah?" He asks, I look up at him about to mumble a small no-thank you when he walks straight to the front room and turns on Animal cops. I'm immediately captured. Clint places me on the sofa next to him and watches with me. "Oh shoot, Steve look at that dog!" He says pointing to a large fluffy dog.
"Yeah! Fluffy pup!" I say excitedly, pointing at each animal coming on. Clint hummed watching with me, neither of us noticing the others filtering in and out of the floor through out the two ours we watch the show. I also don't really notice when Daddy handed me a plate with a ham sandwich on. I pretty much inhaled that. I didn't even notice Clint brining me to lie down on his lap, I did notice the blanket pulled over my shoulders and Clint silently running his fingers through my hair.
"He asleep?" A voice whispers above us, I know it's Phil because he's the only one that'd ask.
"Almost. I think the stress of the last 70 years has finally caught up with the little trouble maker" He says chuckling, I grumble angrily at that causing both men to chuckle.
"Well hello to you too sleepy head, try to go sleep for me ok? Bucky, Nat and Nick just had to go deal with something at Shield." He mumbles, I grumble lowly but it wasn't much use, I was already falling asleep.
Maybe this wasn't going to be as bad as I thought it would be? I feel happy and I guess that's good.
It's better than good, it's great.