wanda
"I went to the bar and I ordered a Shirley Temple, of all things. But I was there for an hour and a half, and not once was I tempted to get a drink." Valkyrie boasts, clearly proud of herself.
It is late morning, and they are at a cafe eating breakfast. They are seated outside, the floor jutting into the street, the traffic passing right by them. From her viewpoint she can see the outline of the Basilica di San Lorenzo down the street.
"Good for you," Wanda commends her friend.
Ever since she met Valkyrie by chance – they had the same therapist in Florence – she's known of the older woman's alcoholism. She didn't hide it; instead, she openly talked about her struggles to lay off the bottle.
It's this type of courage that Wanda envies, because she knows she will never be comfortable telling a stranger about her mental illness. She prefers to keep that fact to herself, not to have so many people know.
It's more for their sake, she tells herself. She doesn't want to scare them.
"Sooo," Valkyrie goads, taking a sip of her coffee. "Tell me more about your house guest!"
She shrugs a shoulder and looks off, trying to act as if the insinuation of Bucky doesn't make her feel something. "He is just a guest, like me."
"Isn't he a writer?" Valkyrie wonders. "Isn't he Steve's best friend?"
"And a veteran." Wanda adds airily.
"Whose wife has left him, right?"
Wanda nods. She especially doesn't like to think about that person.
"Man!" Valkyrie frowns. "That's fucked up. I dunno know what I'd do if someone just left me. What a bitchy thing to do."
"Yeah..." Wanda responds, trying her best to pass off a nonchalant vibe.
"I haven't gone around to read his book yet, but I will."
Wanda catches herself, but not in time to stop from reaching into her crossbody bag hanging off her chair. "Er, I actually have it –" she starts to say, then pauses briefly. She curses herself, but still she decides to just go ahead and give it to her. "Right here. You can borrow it."
"Oh," Valkyrie's deep brown eyes glint for a second, then she blinks and it's gone. "Thanks, girl. You just saved me some bucks."
Taking the book, she starts skimming through it. When she reaches the end, she zeroes in on the author and the accompanying picture.
"Oh my God, Wanda. He's good-looking!" Valkyrie gasps excitedly, showing her the picture, as if Wanda hadn't stared at it a couple times already. "A pretty white boy, just like Steve. And single. You should take advantage of that."
Again, Wanda just wants to squirm. But she just settles on rolling her eyes while blushing madly at the thought. "Oh, Valkyrie, please."
"I don't see a problem in that," Valkyrie smirks. She always knows what not to say. "Besides, if you two have a good time, you might just inspire him. Maybe he'll model a character after you. And wouldn't that be something?"
Wanda doesn't respond; she just scoffs lightly and shakes her head.
To distract her from Valkyrie's mischievous implication, she looks into her bag and takes out her camera.
She looks through the last couple of pictures, coming across the one she took of Bucky. She silently admires it, remembering the small conversation they had in that moment.
After parting ways with Valkyrie, Wanda rides her bike back home. A little vintage bookstore soon catches her eye, so she stops there for a couple minutes.
She peruses through the empty place, taking comfort in the smell of books. They're all in Italian, and she's able to understand some of them.
She's reminded of Bucky's book, and how that morning she had been getting ready when she saw it on her desk. She had completely forgotten about it, and had planned on re-reading it while waiting for Valkyrie.
But she had been beaten to the restaurant, so the book slipped her mind until Valkyrie mentioned it.
She hopes her friend will like it, just as she did.
Wanda hops back on her bike and continues home. She leaves it parked outside, reminding herself to bring it in later so it doesn't get stolen.
Upon entering the apartment, she's surrounded by silence, except for the occasional chirping of birds.
She gallops upstairs, going straight to her home. She collapses on her bed, her eyes fluttering to a close. She inhales and exhales, thinking of what to do.
Suddenly, she feels dirty. She huffs in annoyance. She doesn't know where this comes from; she just took a shower last night. But she does, maybe it's because she's sweaty, so she starts stripping off her shirt and jean shorts.
She goes to the bathroom, leaving it open since no one is home but her. She turns on the water and doesn't wait for it to heat up. She goes to stand under the shower head, letting the cold water drench her body before it warms.
She only rubs the bar of soap on her. After she is finished, she turns off the water and reaches for her towel. She's in the midst of drying her legs when her ears perk up.
The door downstairs opens and closes. She hopes it's Natasha or Steve back home early, but a second later, she's proven wrong by the sound of steps quickly running up the stairs.
Wanda's mind panics. She is scrambling, trying to wrap the towel around her while stepping out of the tub to close the door. She has her hand on the knob, ready to shut it, when she remembers her earlier conversation with Valkyrie.
It's a momentary flimsy thought, and she's embarrassed to even think about it. No matter if she feels somehow connected to Bucky, that she feels she can tell him anything, their relationship simply isn't in that manner.
She cannot think that way about him.
But what if he feels the same, says a voice in the back of her mind. Just let him "accidentally" see you. You know you want him to.
Wanda closes the door before Bucky can catch her naked, and before her mind can dangerously imagine any further.
When Wanda rouses, it's nearly 6pm. She stretches in her bed, having taken a nap for nearly 2 hours. She yawns and swallows, finding her throat parched. Her stomach then rumbles very loud, reminding her that she hasn't fed it since morning.
Feeling a chill in the air, she reaches for her grey hoodie scrunched up in her chair, lifting it over her still moist hair. She slips her phone in the hoodie's pocket. As she's climbing down the stairs, she wonders what she should do. Cook or go out to catch a quick dinner. She'd have to check the fridge to see if she can make anything. If not, then she could wait for Natasha to come home and maybe they could go eat a restaurant. Though she'd rather not since she already eat out in the morning.
By the time she steps off the last step and heads to the kitchen, she's looking into her contacts on her phone. She's about to text Natasha when the door behind her flings opens. Taken aback, she turns to see Bucky cross over the threshold.
"Hey," he greets her kindly. He raises the bag he's holding. "I bought some sandwiches."
Wanda instantly smiles, her stomach reacting very eagerly at the smell of food. "Hi. Oh, thank goodness."
She walks by him to retrieve her bike, parking it to the backyard terrace. She returns to the kitchen, seeing Bucky washing his hands at the sink. She takes his appearance in for a moment: he's wearing gym shorts and a plain navy blue shirt, his messy hair tied back in a knot. She wonders how many times a day he works out. He must be quite obsessed, because that's the only explanation she can think of for his biceps are bulging.
She had once thought that Steve was physically the strongest person she'd ever come across. There's now a tie.
Catching herself ogling, Wanda blinks and clears her throat. "What sandwiches did you get?"
Bucky dries his hands and looks through the bag, taking out all four neatly-wrapped grilled sandwiches. "I texted Nat on what everyone likes. She said you like cheese, turkey, and salami."
Wanda hums approvingly. "She's right."
He pulls back the wrapping, offering her the sandwich. She takes it, and for a split second, her finger brushes his. It's the lightest of touches, so she shouldn't think too much on it. But for some damn reason, no matter how hard she knows in her head it's nothing, her heart begs to differ.
Internally, she flinches. Not out of pain. It's a different sensation, and she doesn't like that she's feeling it.
Outwardly, she acts as if nothing happens. She quickly takes a bite out of it so her face doesn't have a chance to redden. Glimpsing at Bucky, he too looks away and doesn't say anything.
Good, she thinks, That means it's only me. I'm the one acting weird.
She is about to go to her room when he speaks again. "Wanna sit outside?"
She should say no just because, but she doesn't want to come off as rude. So she smiles shyly and nods, grabbing some napkins.
They take their places on the terrace table across from each other, both holding onto their sandwiches. As she munches, she gazes up at the sky, finding the sun setting as the moon is already emerging in the distance, its luminosity still small.
"So what've you been up to?" Bucky asks.
Wanda shrugs. "Nothing much. What about you?"
She tears her eyes from the sky when she feels a vibration in the pocket of her hoodie. She balances her phone on her left hand while she reaches for her phone with the other. It's a text from Valkyrie.
Heeeeey Wandaaaa are you doing anything later tonight? (6:27 PM)
Wanda resists the urge to roll her eyes. She can already tell what Valkyrie is about to ask her.
nooo. why? (6:28 PM)
She rests her phone on her chest as she glances at Bucky, eyes straight ahead.
"Same. This morning, though, was kinda interesting," he says, his voice picking up. "I went jogging and I didn't have my phone; I left it charging. So I basically wandered 'round for an hour. Thankfully, I had my wallet, so I ate at this nice little cafe. And then I spend, like, half an hour walkin' 'round again before I found my way back."
Her phone vibrates again. "Yes, that has happened to me too. Getting lost."
Wanna go to the virgin rock pub ;) (6:30 PM)
"But it's not scary," she continues, though her attention is on answering Valkyrie. "And it helps that lots of Italians can mostly understand English."
weren't you just there? last night? (6:31 PM)
When she puts her phone down and raises her face, she finds a pair of blue irises on her. The instant they make eye contact, Bucky blinks away and takes a bite of his sandwich.
Wanda doesn't know what to make of it, except she's left feeling self-conscious. And she doesn't like it at all.
It's nothing, she tries to convince herself.
"Yeah. You're right," he says after a pause.
Luckily, Valkyrie texts her back to provide her a momentary distraction.
No that was across the river. (6:33 PM)
Come onnnnn (6:33 PM)
You haven't gone out in a while (6:33 PM)
You can bring your cousin and her husband (6:34 PM)
And her husband's bff of course (6:34 PM)
Especially him (6:34 PM)
Wanda sinks back into her chair, hoping it can swallow her whole.
Ask Bucky to the bar?
It's a Wednesday night so Natasha and Steve definitely wouldn't go. So then that ruled Bucky out because he wouldn't go anywhere without them.
He wouldn't dare go with her. First, he'd probably think it would be inappropriate. And secondly, it would be too awkward.
It just wouldn't be a good idea.
And yet you'd still like it if he did go.
Wanda brings her knees up in the chair. She peers at her phone, wondering what to do. It's true that she would like to take him out, see him really behave outside the presence of Natasha and Steve. She has no idea why she wants to; all she has to go for is that she just wants to spend some time with him outside the house.
It's a harmless suggestion. It couldn't hurt, could it?
And if he said no, then... oh well. At least she had tried. Though she would be disappointed.
Moj Boze, I hate myself, she thinks dreadfully.
"I am going out tonight. To a bar," she starts.
She gauges his response. He doesn't turn to her, but she can still see his brows lift up for a moment in intrigue, followed by the slightest uptick of his mouth. "Are you old enough to go to a bar?"
"As long as I dress like I am older, then it's no problem. Besides, Natasha trusts me." She then pauses. "You can come too. If you want," she adds for good measure.
"Uh..." Bucky flusters, clearly not expecting the offer. "I'm – I'm not sure. About that."
He finally looks at her, uncertainty written over his features. Not knowing what else to do, Wanda gives him a friendly smile. "We won't leave till 11, so you have time to think on it." She gets up and gestures at the sandwich. "Thanks again."
As soon as she steps into the house, Wanda lets out a ragged sigh. Her stomach is rolling over, her skin suddenly very hot.
She cannot believe she just did that. What is wrong with her?
Nothing, her mind answers.
Oh, how she'd like to believe that to be true.
She scoops her phone and writes back, her fingers shaking.
ok (6:45 PM)
i asked him, by the way. (6:45 PM)