Escape
“Carnage, can you give me hand with this cake?” Eddie asked as he precariously balanced the immaculate cake in one hand and Sleeper in the other.
“No.” Carnage stated matter of factly.
“Excuse me?” Eddie said.
“I said I can’t help you with the cake.” Carnage elaborated.
“And why not?”
“Because its my birthday.” Carnage stated bluntly and waltzed out of the kitchen.
Apparently a child’s birthday also meant they could do exactly whatever they wanted for that day. Eddie and Venom were both pretty sure they never approved such a rule but it was Carnage’s birthday today and they were doing whatever they wanted to do which decidedly did not include helping. Learning from the mistakes of their last birthday party this one was planned to the very last detail to go smoothly. The cake was beautiful and from a bakery not too far away, the gifts had all been wrapped and organized by Anne and Eddie’s sister Mary had brought a wealth of party games for both the children and adults. Despite Carnage’s unwillingness to be of any assistance at all the guests started arriving and everything was going wonderfully.
The party progressed smoothly and everyone was gathered in the backyard- the kids playing raucously and the adults calmly watching.
“How do they do it? Eddie and Venom are around and they’re all perfect little angels but the second I’m watching them alone I can’t control any of them.” Mary sipped at her drink and watched the kids playing.
“Tell me about it, the first time we ever watched Carnage was a disaster…” Anne nodded into her glass.
As Eddie glanced around Anne and Dan’s very not baby proofed apartment he felt an impending dread in the pit of his stomach.
“It is okay. Nothing here is dangerous.” Venom assured.
“Let’s just take them with us.” Eddie proposed inside his thoughts.
“No. This is the first time we are leaving them, it will be good for all of us.”
Sure, Annie and Dan had visited loads of times in the three months since Carnage was born but they’d never watched them alone before! Who knows what could happen!
“Is he overthinking this?” Anne finally asked.
“He is.” Venom answered.
“S-Sorry. It’s just the first time.” Eddie apologized sheepishly.
“I know its scary but everything will be just fine.” Anne assured him and behind her Dan nodded.
“Just call if you need us to come back. For anything!” Eddie made them promise.
“We will, we promise!” Anne said practically shoving them out the door.
“Well never let it be said that Eddie isn’t a good dad.” Dan laughed a little.
“I know he’s nervous but come one, how much trouble can one baby be?” Anne asked.
“They don’t seem like trouble at all.” Dan smiled and patted Carnage who was watching everything intensely from his arms.
Dan set the child down on the colorful playmat that Eddie had so meticulously set up on their living room floor before following Anne to the kitchen. The two of them each poured a cup of coffee and rummaged through the diaper bag on the table, taking stock of all the strange and foreign baby items left for Carnage’s care.
“You’re not supposed to feed raw meat to babies. You’re not even supposed to feed honey to babies.” Dan said holding up a ziplock bag of raw steak cubes.
“You know their baby is...different from regular babies.” Anne pointed out.
“Well maybe they are hungry. Let’s bring them something.”
The two of them came back to their living room to find it utterly empty, the colorful playmat sitting innocently without its occupant.
“Oh God!” Anne gasped horrified.
“Where are they?!” Dan was equally horrified.
While dear friends they were, losing their precious only child was a good way to be devoured mercilessly by Venom.
“Carnage! Carnage, come out now!” Anne was using her lawyer voice.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
The two adult froze in their spots and listened hard.
Thump. Thump.
“The vents! They’re in the vents!” Dan pointed to the ceiling where the thumps were coming from.
Anne was already climbing onto the couch arm to remove the metal covering of the register, she shoved her hand inside and started feeling and groping around desperately.
“Carnage! Carnage! Come on!” Anne clutched urgently at empty air.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
The telltale sound of the thumps got further away, Carnage was scurrying through the wall into the neighbor’s ceiling. Dan frantically dashed out the front door to the neighbor’s and started knocking urgently on their door. Unfortunately their neighbor was a 97-year old widow who, if she saw Carnage, would literally be scared to death.
“Yes?” The 97-year old, frail Meredith slowly opened the door and Dan choked on his own ragged breaths when he saw baby Carnage oozing through the vent in the ceiling above her head.
“Meredith!” Dan exclaimed.
“Dr. Lewis?” Meredith adjusted her thick glasses to see him better.
“Hello Meredith! I just wanted to stop by and see if you needed anything.” Dan’s smooth voice wasn’t betrayed by his racing thoughts.
Little Carnage dripped and dangled dangerously from the vent, their tendrils coming very close to brushing Meredith’s white hair.
“Well since you mentioned it Dr. Lewis, there’s a lightbulb that needs changing and its much too high up for me to reach.” She raised a shaky finger to point into the apartment behind her.
“I’d be happy to change your light-” Dan’s voice stopped short as he watched Carnage slurp back up into the vent and disappear again.
“L-l-light bulb. I’d be happy to change your light bulb, Meredith.” Dan pulled himself back together.
The elderly woman lead the doctor back into her apartment to where the burnt out bulb was and Dan nervously eyed the ceiling the whole way, trying to catch a glimpse of the mischievous baby symbiote.
“Here it is, it burnt out last night. I’m so lucky you stopped by when you did Dr. Lewis.” She showed him.
As he changed the lightbulb he could see Carnage slither up to the adjacent vent, clearly curious about what he was doing. The baby symbiote started reaching out of the vent towards Dan’s moving hands.
“Uh, Meredith. Could I trouble you for something to drink?” Dan asked the woman politely.
“Of course, dear.” Meredith smiled and slowly disappeared into the kitchen.
“Okay Carnage, I need you to come with me.” Dan tried reasoning with the infant.
He reached his hands out to the vent where Carnage was peering out but instead of crawling into his hands Carnage reached a tendril out to the half screwed in lightbulb instead where upon contact they were jolted with a blue shock. Carnage’s entire shapeless body went rigid and pointy with the energy of the shock and they immediately scurried into Dan’s waiting hands.
“See? You didn’t want to listen and you got shocked.” Dan lightly chastised the child.
Dan tucked the tiny, jittered baby into his shirt and finished changing the light bulb. By the time Meredith came back with lemonade he was more than ready to get out of there. But being ever the gentleman Dan finished the lemonade and thanked Meredith before leaving. He opened the door to his own apartment and went inside where Anne was waiting and wringing her hands.
“Got them.” Dan said pulling the still shaken blob out of his shirt.
“They got a bit of a shock from a lightbulb socket but I think they’re okay.” He finished.
“A shock?!” She almost grabbed him by the shoulders to shake him.
“It’s okay, it’s okay! They’re a little startled but I think they just need a minute.” He explained.
Carnage slowly regained their humanoid shape and reached desperately for Anne, apparently Dan reminded them too much of their shock right now. They sat down in the living room and gave Carnage a bottle and thankfully there were no more wild escapes before Eddie and Venom returned.
As Anne finished telling the tale Mary laughed and laughed. Dan paled a little when he walked by because Eddie and Venom still knew nothing of that day and he really wanted to keep Carnage’s little electric shock at the tender age of three months a closely guarded secret.
“Car! Time to blow out your candles!” Eddie appeared in the backyard with a birthday cake topped with eight lit candles.
Everyone gathered around the cake to sing a very raucous and loud rendition of Happy Birthday and right after Carnage ceremoniously blew out their candles Venom shoved their face directly into the cake.