Venom and Me
“I do not want to go to this.”
“Too bad. Besides it's not for you, it's for Sleeper.”
They’d never enrolled in a Mommy and Me class with any of their children but Anne had recently read a slew of articles about their benefit and pestered them about it until they caved. Annie didn’t want kids of her own but she made it her personal business to make sure her nieces and nephews got nothing but the best- even if that meant inconveniencing and/or annoying Eddie and Venom along the way.
The class dedicated all of its one hour time slot to sitting in a circle so everyone was forced to face each other and Eddie was just really glad the other people in the class couldn’t see Venom right now because they undoubtedly would be making a scene. Ever since they had Carnage and each child after, Venom was of the persuasion that the only thing in the world that they would ever need was their family and their few close friends and everyone else could just fuck right off. So getting them to come to a place like this that required them to interact in a halfway civilized manner with a bunch of strangers and their brats (Venom’s words) was close to an impossibility.
“If one of these gremlins throws a tantrum we are leaving.”
“Sleeper throws tantrums all the time.” Eddie reminded them.
“No, Sleeper asks us for things. Sometimes very loudly. He never does anything wrong.”
The other parents in the circle definitely noticed how concentrated on nothing Eddie seemed to be and how he muttered to himself every now and then. The man and woman on his left discreetly inched away from him but the woman on his right didn’t seem to mind. The woman’s infant daughter was wearing a headband with a flower on it so big it was starting to look like a second head and Sleeper was positively entranced by it, reaching for it to grab.
“They’re so adorable!” The girl’s mother fawned over Sleeper.
“Are they a boy or a girl? Or-” She sheepishly cut herself off at the realization that he might not be either.
“He’s a boy.” Eddie smiled at her.
“Say hi Sleeps. Hiiiii.” Eddie encouraged his son.
“Haaaa!” Sleeper sort of repeated.
“Eddie.” Venom pulled his attention to the other side of the circle.
“Look how ugly that child is.”
The baby Venom was talking about looked exactly like any other baby.
“V!” Eddie scolded his other.
“Human children are not cute. Our children are cute. The lady next to us even agrees.”
“Your daughter is so cute.” Eddie told the woman just to spite Venom and their negative attitude.
The woman lit up at his compliment and started chattering away about all the cute little things her daughter has done today much to Venom’s annoyance.
“Mama!” Sleeper directed his attention to Eddie, wanting his attention in return.
“That’s what he calls you? That’s so sweet! But doesn’t that annoy your wife?” The woman asked.
“Actually, my spouse thinks it's funny.” Eddie answered.
“Hey!”
“What? You do think it's funny.” Eddie silently told them.
“I used to think it was funny. Now I think it is endearing. I like it very much.”
“It’s very sweet.” The woman smiled again.
“Eddie!” The alien whined.
“We’re more than halfway through! You’re fine!” Eddie said it out loud in a baby voice as if he were talking to Sleeper but he was talking pointedly to Venom who hissed in the back of his head.
The leader of the playgroup retrieved a guitar and started a cheery song about colors and Eddie worried this may be the last straw for Venom- it was a very cheery song. Eddie suddenly felt Venom take over and while he tried to fight it, Venom prevailed. Venom forced their husband to face the overly friendly woman sitting next to them and whited out Eddie’s eyes into the shiny opalescence of their own, they also replaced Eddie’s teeth and tongue with their own.
The woman looked startled and quickly placed her hands on her baby.
“Why do you come to this? It is patronizing and boring.”
She calmed down a bit at the question and briefly knit her eyebrows together.
“Um..Well...Its good for their development and they learn things.” She gestured to the babies.
“My child is much smarter than your child.”
She wrinkled her nose like she resented that remark.
“He does not need this group to learn things.”
“I have the sneaking suspicion that you aren’t the guy I was talking to a minute ago.” She said.
“That is besides the point.” Venom answered bluntly.
“Papa!” Sleeper squealed and reached for Eddie’s face.
“Oh, so you’re Papa.” The woman smirked at them.
“Besides the point.” They repeated.
“Well Papa, you should know that I absolutely loathe these stupid playgroups as much as you do.” She told them candidly as she tucked her hands under her daughter’s pudgy arms to sit the baby up a little better. Venom unconsciously mimicked what she did with Sleeper.
“You do?” Venom raised Eddie’s eyebrow.
“Of course I do. They’re mind numbingly boring, the other parents are stuck-up and there’s always at least one stupidly cheery song involved. No sane adult would willingly come to one of these.”
Venom snickered because Eddie did willingly bring them here.
“Then why do you come if you hate it?”
The woman simply gestured to the babies who, when Venom looked, did seem to be having fun. The woman’s daughter was flapping her arms and Sleeper was clapping with no rhythm to the music (now tightly clutching the other baby’s flower in his hand).
Venom never considered symbiosis to include anyone other than themselves and Eddie but now that they thought about it- of course symbiosis included the children too. They didn’t share one body but their relationship was still dependent on harmony. Just like Venom had to do things to make Eddie happy they also had to do things to make the children happy- even if they disliked it. They supposed that relenting to minor annoyances like a Mommy and Me class every now and then did not make them a better threat to mankind but it did make them a better father and they cared about one of those things more than the other these days.
“Papa! Papa!” Sleeper waved the flower in Eddie's face.
Maybe being the biggest, scariest, most dangerous alien predator on Earth didn’t mean as much to them as it once did.
Maybe Sleeper and the others meant more.