A (sort of) Special Day
Eddie and Venom were chatting when Eddie’s leg was abruptly poked.
“What’s up, Lash?”
“Can you dial the phone for me?” Lasher asked politely.
“Who do you want to call?”
“Aunt Anne and Aunt Mary, please.”
“Okay, give the phone back to us when you’re done and I’ll call Aunt Mary for you.” He handed Lasher his cell phone after selecting Anne’s contact.
Lasher grabbed the phone with both hands and took off up the stairs. After about ten minutes he came running back in and held the phone back up to them.
“Aunt Mary please.”
They were a little curious why Lasher had to make these calls but it wasn’t usual for the kids to want to talk to their aunts and uncles over the phone now and then.
Things got more suspicious after that.
They found Agony writing the same thing over and over on several different pieces of paper and when he tried to find out what she was writing she acted extremely offended that he’d even ask. Next Venom told him in the morning that the kids had been awake for hours the previous night talking about something. Venom covertly placed one of the baby monitors outside the door in a failed attempt to listen in but they apparently didn’t make much sense in what they were saying. Like they were talking in code. After that he found Phage digging through his closet.
“What are you doing in there?”
“Why don’t you have any suits?” Phage asked bluntly.
“Uh, because your dad is my suit.”
“But you had one before!”
“That one was ruined in an unfortunate fruit punch incident.”
“You’re a mess dad.” Phage said even more bluntly than before and then sighing exaggeratedly.
“You have no idea.” Venom added unhelpfully.
On the drive home from school the next day they all sat in the car completely silently, which was unheard of ever since Agony, Phage, Lasher and Scream became comfortable talking with them. Once they started they never stopped and Carnage could always be counted on to have something sarcastic to say. But not today. Dead quiet. All of them. Asking them about their day only got some mumbled half responses, nothing like the usual excited storytelling that usually followed that question.
“They are up to something.” Venom said when they got home.
“I know. What could kids their ages be up to though?” Eddie answered internally.
“Drugs.”
“It’s not drugs V, oh my God.”
“Sex.”
“Are you gonna take this seriously or not?”
“Not.”
“What are you guys hiding?” Venom asked out loud, not beating around the bush at all.
They were quiet and obviously shocked that they weren’t as sneaky as they thought.
“Did you break something? Did you get in trouble? Bad grades? What is it?”
Of course, Sleeper picked that moment to demand their undivided attention and the kids took their chance to escape the question as Eddie and Venom felt the answer slip out of their grasp yet again.
Eddie called Flash, maybe he had some insight he could share.
“Hey Flash, can I ask you about something?”
“Of course man, what’s up?”
“How do you handle lying? Like when Andi lies to you?”
“Oh..well, Andi doesn’t really do that. She’s really honest with me. Why? Are the kids lying to you guys?” He sounded both amused and concerned.
“Well not lying really. Just hiding something. The past week things have gotten suspicious.”
“I guess it had to happen sometime.”
“Yeah but they aren’t like that. None of them are, you know that.”
“Not even Carnage?” Eddie could hear Flash’s grin through the phone.
“Watch it, that’s my firstborn.” He warned playfully.
“Keep me posted on the situation, now I’m curious too.”
“Will do.” Eddie assured.
The weekend finally came and when he woke up on Saturday morning all was quiet and seemingly normal. After showering they returned to their bedroom.
“Eddie!!” Venom snapped his head to the side almost violently.
It took him a split second to see what the problem was. Sleeper was not in his crib. This had happened to them before but there were still very few things as terrifying as not finding your infant child where you left them. On top of that they now lived in a much bigger place with many more hiding spots and potential dangers.
They were in the process of tearing the bedroom apart looking for him when they found a sticky note on the door that simply read “downstairs”. Practically hurling themselves down the stairs there was another note stuck to the wall at the bottom. This one was one word too: backyard.
Bursting through the backdoor they were met with all their kids and every one of their friends standing in the backyard smiling and softly chuckling at them. Anne and Dan, Flash and Andi (holding Sleeper), Miles, Jessica and her son, Mary and Scott tuning in via webcam from San Francisco on Anne’s Ipad, Liz, her husband and their two kids who they didn't actually know but still a sweet gesture from Liz, Felicia who they felt guilty about not seeing since the baby was born, even Peter and MJ- while granted he didn’t have a problem with MJ he still didn’t really adore Peter but maybe Pete felt a little differently about them since their chat.
“W-What’s everyone doing here?”
“The kids called us for something pretty important. We helped a little but this was all them. Phone calls, invites, dress code, everything even the cake.” Anne answered him.
“Eddie what the hell is happening here.”
“I...don’t know. This is what they’ve been doing for the past week?”
Scream ran to them and grabbed him by the hand dragging them in front of everybody.
“Aunt Mary said you didn’t have a wedding so this is your wedding!” She informed them.
“A girl in my class said Mommies and Daddies are supposed to be married so Daddies and Daddies are supposed to be married too.” Agony said matter of factly.
“Eddie I do not understand. We have been together for years, we are already spouses. We are one. What is the point of this?”
“I think this is mostly ceremonial. Let’s just roll with it, V.” Eddie instructed his other playfully, understanding as well that this was coming pretty late in the relationship and that it didn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. But if the kids wanted this they’d do it no matter how odd.
So there they stood, in front of pretty much everyone they knew, as Dan sort of officiated their pseudo wedding because their children firmly believed that if you were a doctor you could do literally anything including being an instant priest. Dan read from the paper he obviously printed off the internet and did an amazing job at not completely cracking up.
“Take off your wedding ring, Dad” Lasher pointed at Eddie’s hand.
Eddie got a slightly surprised look on his face and fumbled the ring off his finger and handed it over to Venom who was standing in front of him like couples were supposed to do at weddings.
“You don’t wear a ring but if you did I would give it to you as a symbol of my unending love.” He told his spouse (who is already his spouse) because he remembered Mary and Scott doing the same thing at their wedding a few weeks ago.
“I give you this ring as a reminder of our bond and to stop people from putting the moves on you when they can’t see me.” Venom said back as he placed the ring that was just on his hand and had been for the last seven years back where it was.
Dan continued to read off the paper that was obviously folded into his pocket before and finally reached the end, the part that meant the most and sealed the deal...sort of. This wasn’t really official in any way but that didn’t matter to anybody there- least of all their children who were beaming at them (except Carnage who wasn’t necessarily not smiling but…).
“You may now kiss your human and/or otherworldly spouse.” Dan amended the usual line.
Venom, standing at their full height, bent down and they shared a chaste kiss and everyone clapped and awww'ed which was very nice considering they all took time out of their Saturday to be here for this completely for show wedding with no catering and no bar that was orchestrated entirely by six and seven year olds.
Anne grinned as she brought out a clearly homemade and sloppily frosted cake, setting it on the table.
“The kids did the cake too. Well, Dan and I handled the oven but everything else was them.” She explained.
They customarily cut the cake and smooshed it into each other’s faces before Venom wiped it all off Eddie’s face and took it for themselves. Probably the least violent thing they’ve eaten lately.
“I made coach dress up, I didn’t give him a choice.” Andi said as she reunited them with Sleeper.
She gestured to Flash who was definitely wearing the nicest thing he owned.
"You knew about all of this didn't you?" Eddie partially accused their friend.
"I absolutely did." Flash grinned back completely absolved of any guilt.
Carnage, Agony, Lasher, Phage and Scream darted over to them.
“You’re married now!” Phage excitedly told them as if they weren’t there for it themselves.
“How did such sweet, cute little kids come from you two?” Peter asked, suddenly standing beside them.
“Yeah, we’re surprised too.” Eddie replied with Venom in agreement.
"Uh, since- as you know- I don't really have any hands on experience with babies...would it be okay if held him?" Peter asked shyly pointing to Sleeper in their arms.
"No, actually we're raising them all to hate you."
Peter's face drained white at the thought of another plight against anything like Venom.
"I'm kidding, yes you can hold him." Eddie laughed at his own dumb joke.
"I love my loser husband so much."
Peter took Sleeper and held him at arms length.
”Parker, he’s our infant son not a grenade hold him right.”
Peter slowly and hesitantly brought him closer until he was snugly pressed against him.
”Hey look at me! He’s not even crying or anything.” Peter said, amazed at the very simple action he was performing.
Out of the corner of his eye Eddie could see MJ across the yard watching the pair fondly.
Later that night in bed, Eddie felt his new but not new at all spouse trying to initiate what all newly weds were supposed to do on their (fake) wedding night.
“Mmm too tired, babe. And Sleeps is in here.” He mumbled into his pillow with his eyes still closed.
Venom sulked a little.
“Fine. You owe me one.” They conceded, wrapping their arms around him.
”Deal.”