Fucked. She was completely and utterly fucked.
During most breakups, most people turn towards ice cream or rom-coms for comfort until they finally push through wallowing to pick themselves up. They would sit in sweatpants for days, not showering or cleaning up to match their surroundings to how they felt.
But Marlene was not most people and would never be.
She and her girlfriend, Maeve, had been together for three years. Three years of commitment and love thrown down the drain because the other woman couldn’t keep her sex life under control or to one person. Their relationship had been killed the moment Marlene walked into their shared bedroom to see her lover in bed with another.
Yet, the solution to this pain was to go get shit faced and bring someone home to rid her of some of the rage burning through her veins.
Bars were her thing, her place, her vibe. But a club? Absolutely not.
“Lils, Mary, darlings,” Marlene gave her two friends a pointed look as she stared at the building in front of them, “A club?”
Lily, who had been wrapped in Mary’s arms tightly, smiled at her hopefully, “We thought a change in scenery and people might help,”
It had been true, a change of scenery might’ve helped.
Ever since she’d been dumped, she continued to frequent areas they’d gone together. Areas where she’d whisper Maeve’s number to the bartender for a ride until they would remind her that they were broken up. Areas where she could vividly remember Maeve’s touch, her scent, fuck even how her lips felt.
But the bars also had the lingering smell of regrets and bad decisions that she grew comfortable with, not the overwhelming scent of sweat and perfume that had her stumbling back. She didn’t belong here, no, she belonged in her usual shithole where she could wallow with every other sad motherfucker on the block.
Despite attempting to enjoy her time at the nightclub, she found herself left out more and more by the minute. The club’s music was frequently changing from a song she distantly knew to one she’d never heard of in her life causing her to stumble on and off the dance floor repeatedly.
Why couldn’t she be like Mary or Lily? The two girls who were dominating the floor together without a care in the world. The two girls who were happy to be there and within each other’s touch. Why couldn’t she be with her lover tonight like they were?
Blinking away the burning tears in her eyes, she forced herself to look away from the happy couple while ignoring her own heart shatter.
It had been two weeks since the break-up and everything still felt so soon, so painful. It felt so real how everything reminded her of Maeve. The feeling of the lipstick Mary put on her lips earlier reminded her of how Maeve felt on her own. She couldn’t sip vodka and enjoy the burn without reminiscing on how hoarse her throat felt after hours of screaming and crying at her ex-lover. She could still remember how much the screams silenced the shattering of her heart within her ribcage.
Fuck, she really was depressing wasn’t she.
She wanted to get so fucked up that she forgot her name, birthday, everything. But she couldn’t even think of the strongest liquor without her mind drifting to Maeve.
Maeve, Maeve, Maeve.
Maeve had made a naive little girl of Marlene. A naive child who didn’t notice bad things occurring around her like her bank account being drained and valuables going mysteriously missing around the house. She had always been told she loved too much, but didn’t notice it until Maeve.
Maeve, Maeve, Maeve-
“Need something to wallow in or are you just a depressed-looking person usually?”
Her head snapped up at the voice cutting through her thoughts to only have her eyes completely drink in the intruder much like she should’ve been drinking liquor. The woman’s hair was braided in cornrows allowing the blonde to fully take in her soft appearing skin and dark eyes that were guarded but mischievous.
She felt magnetic. She felt real.
She felt nothing like Maeve ever had.
When she noticed the bartender was still awaiting an answer, she cleared her throat awkwardly, “Something to wallow in?”
“Is that a question or a statement?”
Fuck, even her voice was magnetic.
“Both?”
The woman laughed, her head tilting back allowing Marlene to completely consume the way even her neck looked inviting. If simply being around her created this much of a reaction, she didn’t know how much longer she could hold out for. She felt like a feral animal, preying on the weaker animal. Just waiting for the chance to strike and consume her entirely. She wanted to if it meant satisfying the desire burning through her bones at the sight of the beautiful woman.
She was lonely and hurt to the point where her desires felt freeing. It was the first time in two weeks she felt alive.
Holding her hand out to keep the bartender's attention solely on her, “I’m Marlene,”
Look at me. Look at me. Look at me!
The bartender slipped the drink that she somehow knew would solve the blondes troubles across the counter, snatching the cherry from in and popping in her mouth which had Marlene’s mind reeling, “Dorcas,”
Dorcas, Dorcas, Dorcas.
Their hands met in the middle and it was as if she was electrocuted simply by her touch, “Pleasure,”
“Pleasures all mine, beautiful,”
Fucked. She was absolutely fucked.