Chapter 2
Lee's breath came out in clouds, wheezing through his footfalls. The three-mile run had just started and the group of men trudged on, packs bouncing full of rocks to simulate supplies. Lee was only near the back of the group, and continually wiped his face from the flying mud of the others footfalls. Steve wasn't doing much better, his asthmatic wheezes loud in the morning air. His pack weighed him down heavier than the others, his small frame sinking into the mud.
Lee looked back to see Steve collapse, and skidded in his steps and ran back to where he was, a few yards away. He grabbed his arm and tried to lift him up, but the heavy pack was messing with his balance. Steve grabbed his arm to try to lift up as well, but they both skidded in the mud and fell back to the ground.
“ROGERS, LEIGH, FRONT AND CENTER.” Colonel Phillips, a stout older man in army fatigues stood off to the side with Agent Peggy Carter. She stared them down, eyes strong and proud.
“Yes sir.” Steve and Lee saluted and stood up straight in a line, shoes sinking into the muddy patches in front of their superiors. Phillips glared at the two, and spat out a curt “at ease,” then glanced at the clipboard in his hand.
“I expect you to fail. Stop meeting my expectations.” Phillips turned and began to walk away, but Agent Carter didn't move. She looked down at the two soldiers, still panting from the run.
“Gentlemen, while our Colonel here expects failure, I expect greatness. I believe in you two. It's commendable that you tried to help your comrade, Mr. Leigh, and I thank you for that. However, in these types of trainings, it's better to try to make yourself get farther, rather than losing by trying to pick up someone else's slack. Try to remember that before helping yourself and Mr. Rogers here to fail. Dismissed.” Agent Carter turned on her heel and headed off, most likely to where Phillips walked away.
Lee and Steve looked at each other, then visibly relaxed. “She terrifies me.” Lee remarked, turning towards the barracks where the other soldiers began to head towards, their run finished. “It's like she has eyes that glare into my soul.”
Steve shook his head, a dazed look on his face as he followed Lee to the barracks. “Nah, she's breathtaking. Remember when she punched McGregors in the face?” Lee laughed out loud, seeing his face in his head, smirking, then contorted in pain after Agent Carter nearly broke his nose.
“That was fucking hilarious. You know how hard it was to keep myself from cackling?”
“Yeah, me too. He deserved it, talking to her like that.”
They entered the barracks, men milling about, grabbing piles of clothes, lounging on their bunks, reading magazines. Lee strode over to his bunk, grabbing his pair of spare clothes he laid out for after training for the day. Steve walked over to his bunk and did the same respectively, and headed to the showers. Lee watched him go, then headed the opposite direction, to the labs.
°°°
Erskine opened the door for him, after a quiet knock, greeting with “hello, Lee! You're looking quite dirty today.”
“Yeah, I know. Me and Steve fell in the mud.” He walked over to a small enclosed area, filled with four showers. Grabbing a towel off the rack nearby, he walked into a stall, and stripped himself of his clothes.
Cold water always gave Lee a wariness to showers, but he welcomed the cold as he slowly eased himself under the spray. His overheated body felt relief as he scrubbed the dirt and mud from training, and he let his mind relax.
°°°
“So where do you always go after training?” Asked Steve, munching on a cracker, lounging on the bench across from Lee. Dinner consisted of a weak stew, with few carrots and potatoes rationed into a bowl of broth and lumps of meat.
Lee spooned the broth into his mouth, and bit into a stale cracker before answering. “Oh, I have a uh…. medical condition, so I take my showers in the lab where I'm not exposing anything to anyone else.” Erskine had repeated this mantra to Lee, the first day of boot camp, after Lee had realized the barracks had communal showers. Erskine gave him special access to the labs for only that, and Lee was grateful. It saved his cover from the get-go. He reminded himself how lucky he was to have someone like Erskine in a position to help.
Steve nodded, and took another bite of cracker. “....So…. what's wrong with you then? Measles?”
“Wouldn't you like to know, Stevie.” Steve turned red and sputtered, squeaking out his embarrassed disagreements. Lee smirked and returned to his broth. “Besides,” he drawled, “it's contagious.”
“What’s contagious? Is there something we should know about, Mr. Leigh?” A woman's voice rang through the air. Lee turned and all the blood drained out of his face, only one thought in his head: oh fuck.
“Uh, no, Agent Carter, it's nothing. Lee was just making a… joke.” Steve saved him, blushing harder. Agent Carter stared him down before relaxing, and walking away.
Steve exhaled the breath he was holding, and turned to Lee. “Wonder what that was about.”
“I dunno, but I'm telling you she must be watching me like a hawk. Where did she even come from?”
“I didn't even see her behind you. I think I'm getting why you think she's scary.” Lee turned back to his stew, scooping the rest of the potatoes into his mouth, before getting up and walking to the kitchen area to drop off his plate. Steve did the same, trailing behind him quietly.
Lee headed to the barracks, the tiredness settling into his bones. He crawled into his bunk and drifted off, mumbling a goodnight to Steve, who had been skimming a novel in his own bunk nearby.
°°°
A few weeks later, Lee is showering in Erskine's lab when Colonel Phillips and his team decide to visit. His voice rings out through the lab, and Lee recognizes it, panicking. He turns, facing the wall, hoping he isn't recognized.
“Colonel! So nice of you to visit. What fan I do for you today?” Erskine's voice is calm, hiding the underlying panic in himself. Phillips looks around, and takes a seat at a table, nearest to the lab tables.
“Update on the Serum.” Erskine moves about, grabs a few stacks of papers, and joins Phillips at the table. He hands him the stacks for him to browse.
“Very well! I'd say we have about a week or so before it's ready. Are our potential subjects doing well?” Phillips scoffs and sets the papers down.
“Well? Hell no! They're awful. Surely we could use some other soldiers? Like McGregors, he's fit, plus he's passed all the training exercises from day one. Why do we need two shrimps for this?” Erskine shook his head, disappointed.
“I'm telling you, I'm not looking for a soldier that's already put together! I chose those two because they're 'shrimps’. The Serum will fix that! What I need to know is: are they ready?”
Agent Carter stepped forward from the group of men waiting behind Phillips. “Actually, sir, if I may interject. I think they are ready. Just last week Rogers successfully passed the flagpole challenge, and Leigh passed the three-mile run challenge. Both of them had been struggling before with all of the challenges, and both have shown great improvement.”
Erskine nodded at this, and turned back to Phillips. “Well? Does that sound ready to you?” Phillips flipped his hands up, exasperated.
“Fine, fine. You want shrimps for super soldiers? I'll give them. They're ready, you'll have my written approval by Friday.” Phillips raised himself out of the chair and strode away, the group of authorities in his wake. Agent Carter gave Erskine one last look of satisfaction, and followed.
Erskine watched them go, waiting until the doors closed with a click. He turned towards the showers, where Lee peeked from a stall, wide-eyed. “So you heard that whole thing, didn't you?” Lee nodded, still in shock. “I'm not even allowed to explain, let alone have you in here--” Lee cut him off, shock gone.
“Will it fix me?”
“Well, in my opinion you don't need fixing, you're you--”
“You know what I meant.”
“....Possibly. I don't know. It could enhance the… features… you don't want to be seen, as well. It could go either way.” Lee nodded again, and turned back into the stall. After a moment, he spoke.
“What about Steve?”
“What about him? He's not like you.”
“No, I mean…. Will it help him? With his issues?”
“It could go either way with him as well. But you understand why I chose you.”
“I do.”
“Then you understand why I now must ask you not to say a word of this to Steve. I have to officially tell him, to get his consent. I don't need a biased opinion or premeditated persuasion from you that forces him into this. He needs to decide on his own. You as well, I need you to make an unbiased decision on this. Don't do it for you. Remember this is for the military, for the war.” Lee closed his eyes, shut the water off. He opened them again, and looked down. Looked at what his body was made of, all the flaws, all of that skin that he didn't want.
He turned to the towels, and grabbed one. Dried himself off. Dressed into his clean clothes. He walked to where Erskine stood, going over paperwork, silent. Erskine turned and opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by arms wrapping around his midsection.
The hug was brief and warm, but he welcomed it anyway. He almost didn't hear the quiet “thank you” before Lee was out of the lab, door swinging slowly back to the frame.
°°°
Lee was quiet, picking at his limp grey veggies, as Steve chattered along about the novel he'd been reading. Lee listened quietly, and have him nods where he needed to, but he didn't comment.
Finally Steve paused from his monologue and threw a stale cracker at him. “What's your problem, bed bugs find your bunk?” Lee shook his head, giving Steve a small smile.
“Nah, just thinking about things. Nothing too important.”
“I'll say. You're in your own head, not me. Say, have you gotten any letters from your brother? Or your ma?” Lee shook his head again, frown etched on his face.
“My madre's dead, only my stepdad and Chuckie now. I haven't heard from them though, it must be busy at home.” Steve agreed, then turned to his own plate of boiled veggies.
“Me too. Ma died of influenza, and I moved in with Bucky after that. Surprised I didn't die too, with how weak my immune system is.” Steve turned to Lee, soft celery in his mouth, “You know, you've never told me much about your life back in Brooklyn.”
Lee sighed, ran a hand through his hair. “Well, my mother was born in Mexico, near Mexico City. She came to America when she was eighteen, got a visa, began working her way through the States. Back then it was easy, as long as you were willing to work in the fields. She met my dad, a white man, in Virginia. They fell in love, they moved to New York and eloped, then had me. Papa died of smallpox. I don't remember him. We moved into a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, I met Chuckie, my mama met his dad Raymond, they got married, and that's how it's always been.”
“So you and Chuckie aren't brothers?”
“No, me and Chuckie are stepbrothers, but we'll always consider us blood. He's an idiot without me. Probably why he hasn't written.”
“Ah, I see. What about your stepdad? You think he sent letters?” Lee thought about it for a moment.
“I don't think so. He didn't want me to go.” Lee remembered the conversation clearly.
“You're what!” The angry yell snapped through him, disappointed. Lee stood tall and raised his chin higher.
“That's right, I'm enlisting.”
“No, no, no. I'm not losing you too. We just lost your mother, I'm not losing my stepdaughter to those German freaks!” Lee winced at the 'stepdaughter’ part, but Raymond didn't notice. He never noticed.
“It's too late, I've already been approved. I leave Monday.”
“No. You leave now. Get out, I'd rather lose you now than lose you then. Out!” Raymond shoved Lee towards the door. Lee resisted at first, before giving up and walking out. Chuckie left the house a moment later, sadness in his shoulders.
“Well,” he said, “at least you didn't tell him you're going into the troops.”
Lee sighed, lungs filling with air, then exhaling smoothly out of his mouth. It hurt to think about, but he was glad he didn't say anything detailed about his enlistment. It was better this way, the less people knew, the better.
°°°
Steve picked up the pen, and scribbled his signature onto the consent form for the experiment. Erskine smiled, satisfaction on his face.
Lee had signed the form a few hours before, his decision obvious no matter the bias.
The two were moved into the lab's building, lab shut off from anyone but the scientists working. Even Lee couldn't shower there, but rather had to use a private shower in the bunk areas of the lab's quarters.
Steve and Lee were given a shared room, bunk beds stacked and two small chairs next to a tiny table. Steve laid on the bottom bunk, rereading his novel, while Lee laid on the top bunk, staring at the ceiling.
They both hear a knock on the door, and sit up. Lee jumps down from the bunk and opens the door, cautious. Erskine greets them, a bottle of scnapps in one hand, and three glasses balanced in the other.
“May I?” Lee opens the door wider and lets him in. “Can’t sleep?”
“We've got the jitters, I guess.” Erskine laughs.
“Me too.” He takes a seat at the tiny table, and Lee takes the other seat. Steve adjusts to the end of the bed, sitting up near the table.
“Can I ask you a question?” Steve asks. Lee stays silent, watching.
“Just one?”
“Why me?” Erskine smiles, warm.
“I suppose that is the only question that matters.” He looks down at the bottle of schnapps he brought with him. “This is from Augsburg. My city. So many people forget that the first country that the Nazi’s invaded was their own. You know, after the last war the… my people struggled. They… they felt weak. They felt small. And then Hitler comes along with the marching and the big show and the flags and the… and the…” He waves his hand. “And he… he hears of me, my work and he finds me. And he says, 'You.’ He says, ‘You will make us strong.’ Well, I am not interested. So he sends the head of HYDRA, his research division. A brilliant scientist by the name of Johann Schmidt.
Now, Schmidt is a member of the inner circle and he’s ambitious. He and Hitler share a passion for occult power and Teutonic myth. Hitler uses his fantasies to inspire his followers. But for Schmidt, it is not fantasy. For him, it is real. He has become convinced that there is a great power hidden in the earth, left here by the Gods, waiting to be seized by a superior man. So when he hears about my formula and what it can do, he cannot resist. Schmidt must become that superior man.”
Lee speaks this time. “Did it make him stronger?”
“Yeah. But, there were other effects. The serum was not ready. But more important, the man. The serum amplifies everything that is inside. So, good becomes great. Bad becomes worse. This is why you were chosen. Because a strong man, who has known power all his life, will lose respect for that power. But a weak man knows the value of strength, and knows compassion.”
Steve thought for a moment. “Thanks. I think.”
Erskine pours out three drinks, and Lee passes one to Steve. “Whatever happens tomorrow, you must promise me one thing. That you will stay who you are. Not a perfect soldier, but a good man. Both of you.”
Steve and Lee hold up their glasses to toast. “To the little guys,” Steve toasts. Just as Steve’s about to drink from his glass, Erskine stops him.
“No! No! Wait! Wait! What I am doing? No! You have a procedure tomorrow. No fluids.” He grabs the two glasses, and pours the contents of their glasses into his own. Steve chuckles.
“All right. We’ll drink it after.”
“No! I don’t have procedure tomorrow. Drink it after? Drink it now!” Erskine downs his full glass like a shot, and Lee laughs. Steve joins in, shoulders heaving.