Dangerous Pleasures
You got up from the couch, not expecting to see who was standing there.
Shane was leaning against the wood paneling on the side of your house, his hands stuffed in his hoodie pockets. He looked at you as you opened the door, and quickly looked away, running a hand through his slick black hair.
“Hey, Shane…” You said warily. “What’s up?”
“I need to drink, and I’m sick of the saloon. Can I come in?” He asked.
“Um, okay.” You said, opening the door slightly for him to come inside.
You quickly turned off the TV and picked up a few popcorn crumbs. Then, you headed to the kitchen and opened your cupboard, doing a quick scan of what was on the shelf. “I have wine… that’s about it.”
“Wine gives me heartburn, but honestly, it's worth it to have a drink.” Shane sighed, sitting at your kitchen counter, adjusting to sitting on a tiny raised stool.
“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you…” You said, pouring the red liquid into a stemmed glass. “Or, I guess, the hand that pours you alcohol.” You handed him the glass.
“Had a bad day.” Shane explained.
“Hm.” You said, considering Shane as he drank his wine. Wine didn’t seem to match him. He was gruff, and bitter, like beer. Wine was too sweet for his personality. Too fancy. It was a big juxtaposition, his rough hand, holding a delicate stemmed glass. “Shane… I didn’t even think you liked me. You told me to stay away from you.”
He grunted, putting down his glass. The dark circles under his eyes were illuminated by the moon light that flooded in from your kitchen window. “You seem more reasonable than anyone else in this stupid town. Just don’t want you to become like me. You should move away, you know.”
“What? Why would I do that?”
“This place is a pit. It’s going to drag you in, and you won’t be able to crawl out. You’re going to sink deeper and deeper, dirt underneath your fingernails…”
“Jesus, you sound like Sebastian.” You smirked.
“Oh, is he your newest boyfriend? What happened to Sam?”
“Fuck off, Shane.” You rolled your eyes.
“No, really, I’m wondering.” He said.
“Sam and I went on one date. Sebastian… well…” You ducked your head, embarrassed. “He took me to the city on his motorcycle.” You said in a small voice.
“Is everyone here madly in love with you, or what?” Shane sighed, taking a big gulp of his wine, spilling a little on his sweater.
“You’re not. In fact, I thought you hated me until you were at my door.” You said, staring into Shane’s dark and cloudy eyes.
He looked at you seriously, his gaze unwavering. Your heart lept in your chest as Shane’s eyes flitted down to your lips, and then back into your eyes. You felt a pull, your head leaning closer to him slowly, and he did the same.
Before you knew it, in one swift movement, Shane’s lips were crashing onto yours. You were kissing him back. His tongue slipped into your mouth, and you pressed yourself against him.
Your hands were against the back of his head, feeling his hair, exploring. They moved downwards, caressing the back of his sweater. Your hands went into the bottom of his shirt hem, and moved in, touching his bare warm skin. You scratched lightly, and he shuddered, suddenly picking you up, lifting you. You wrapped your legs around his waist, and firmly worked to get yourself closer to him, feeling his warmth.
He carried you to the couch, laying you down gently, not separating himself from you. You pressed closer to him, your chest flooding with heat. Your legs were locked around his waist.
Shane’s mouth moved downwards, kissing your neck softly, which left you giving out sharp breaths. Soon your nails were digging into his back which made him exhale sharply.
He kissed you again, deeper, stronger, like he couldn’t get enough. You welcomed it, parting your lips for him.
He stopped for a moment, brushing hair out of your face, and looking at your face gently, with an expression of tenderness you hadn’t expected from him.
Suddenly, you were sobered by the realization that Shane was laying on top of you. Your cheeks flooded with searing heat. His breath was heavy, and as it flooded your senses, you realized his breath smelt like wine and beer, meaning he must have been drinking before he had shown up at your house. “Shane…” You said, breathlessly.
At the sound of his name, Shane’s eyes widened. He looked at you, then down at himself, as if realizing what position he was in.
“Are… are you drunk?” You asked suddenly.
“I mean, yes. When am I not?” Shane said. Then, a look of shame flooded his face. “Oh, fuck, I’m sorry.” He sat up suddenly.
“No, I-” You started to say.
“Fuck.” He said again, quickly separating himself from you with a few steps backwards.
“No, Shane…”
“I need to go. Fuck, I’m so sorry, can we just not talk about this ever? Jesus, I’m such an asshole. I can’t believe I… Fuck, okay, I’m leaving.”
“Wait!” You called after him, but Shane was gone, shutting the door loudly behind him.
You wish you had spoken up before he left in a hurry, but the truth was, you really liked what was happening. You wanted to continue. But, he seemed ashamed of getting in that position.
You washed his wine glass, set it to dry, and then laid in bed awake for around an hour before you finally fell asleep, your mind reeling about what just happened.
~
The next day you woke up feeling a little tired. You went to bed late, so it was only natural your mind hadn’t quite caught up. You stretched, thinking about Shane, and went out to work on your field.
While you were feeding your chickens, the thought of Shane’s body pressed against yours kept interrupting your mind. You sighed, trying to focus on your cute little chicks, but couldn’t help but see Shane’s serious face, lying on top of you. The slight blush of his cheeks, the smell of his breath….
When you finished your daily chores, you remembered that Maru had told you the clinic sold energy tonics. You thought that might help, so you made your way over.
The doorbell chimed open, and you were overwhelmed with the smell of a sterile environment, and clean floors. but no one was at the counter of the doctor’s clinic.
“Hello?” You called.
“Coming!” Harvey’s voice came from the back.
Harvey opened the swinging doors, wearing his long white coat with a green dress shirt underneath. “Farmer y/n, how can I help you?” He asked, setting down his clipboard on the counter.
“I’m so tired, Harvey. I need an energy tonic or something.” You said. As if on cue, you yawned loudly.
Harvey smiled at you kindly, his eyes crinkling. “I’ll be honest, our energy tonics are pretty pricey. How tired are you? Coffee won’t work?”
“It might, but I would need like seven coffees.” You said with a straight face.
“Have a seat.” Harvey smiled, walking up the stairs of the clinic into his home above the lobby.
You sat on a squeaky blue chair, waiting uncomfortably. There was a pamphlet on the side wall about birth control. You looked to the left, then the right, then when you made sure the coast was clear you picked it up and flipped through it. If I’m going to keep getting into situations like last night, I should at least make sure I’m ready. You thought.
You heard footsteps coming back down the stairs, and quickly shoved the pamphlet into your pocket.
Harvey was carrying two mugs. He placed one down on the counter, and handed you the other one. “A double espresso.” He explained.
You took it from him gratefully, and took a giant sip. It was so bitter. You made a face. Harvey laughed. “Not a fan?”
“If it doesn’t have a gallon of sugar, not really, but I’ll bear it.”
“The energy tonics taste even worse.” Harvey nodded, taking a sip of his own coffee.
You regarded Harvey for a moment, and smiled. Each time you had spoken to Harvey, he had been incredibly kind. Helping you when you were hungover, and now, keeping you from wasting your money on something you didn’t need, instead offering you an alternative. “How much do I owe you for the coffee, then?” You asked.
“Nothing.” Harvey smiled. “It's coffee between friends.”
“Oh.” You smiled. You sipped the coffee. It was nice to be considered a friend. “Well next time, I’ll have to bring you a coffee.”
“Sure.” Harvey said. “I’m a big fan. I have my own espresso machine upstairs, but the way Gus makes it… there’s no better coffee than one you buy. Isn’t that how it seems to go?”
“I miss Starbucks from the city.” You sighed.
“I was never into it.” Harvey said. “Simple coffee, or a simple espresso, is the best.”
“Says you.” You smirked, taking another sip of the espresso. “I liked the chai lattes. Oh, and the frappuccinos. I would get a strawberry and cream frapp, with two extra pumps of vanilla, blended lightly…”
“Hm.” Harvey smiled gently, his hazel eyes sparkling. “Well, different things for different people. I’m not judgmental.”
“Clearly.” You giggled. “You know, you’re really kind, Harvey.”
“Um… Thank you.” Harvey smiled, and you could see a blush creeping onto the sides of his tanned cheeks. He put down his coffee, and straightened his tie. He’s adorable, you thought. He clearly doesn’t know how to react to compliments.
“So… it’s just you who moved to Pelican Town, right?” You asked, fishing for an answer to if he was single or not.
“Yes.” He said, looking at the counter.
“Okay.”
The two of you kept chatting for a bit until George came in, demanding Harvey take a look at his knee. You quickly made an exit, which got a nod of understanding from Harvey. You finished your coffee quickly, and left it on the counter.
You came out to the town square, and saw Jodi, Caroline, Robin, and Marnie, gossiping and laughing excitedly on the square stones. However, Caroline saw you, and nudged Marnie, who gave a look to the rest. They stopped talking, and looked at you awkwardly.
Were they talking about me? You thought. They all stared at you, as if confirming your suspicion. You sighed, and walked past them.
“Hey, wait, y/n.” Jodi called amiably.
“Yes?” You asked nervously.
“I was just wondering… well, has anyone in Pelican Town caught your eye?” Jodi smirked.
Oh, shit. You thought, looking at Jodi, who was the mother of Sam, Robin, the mother of Maru and Sebastian, Marnie, family to Shane, and Caroline, mother of Abigail. Truth be told, you hadn’t narrowed down your options. And why should you? You were still single, after all.
But you knew these women liked to gossip. You felt like you had to give a satisfying answer. After all, Marnie might have shared how Shane was out late last night, Robin may have shared about your little trip to Sebastian to the city, Everyone knew about your date with Sam, and you wondered if Caroline had a suspicion about her daughter being gay. Either way, they all knew some background here, and you had to treat this subject gently.
“Kind of.” You said truthfully. You didn’t know what else to say.
You saw the excited looks of these women and looked away, your face growing red.
“I won’t be too nosy and ask who… Unless you’re ready to share.” Caroline smiled, tucking her green hair behind her hair.
“Oh, you know what, I’d love to stay and chat… But, I remembered, I promised Gus I’d visit him, so I’ll see you all later.” You said, starting to walk by.
“Sorry, y/n! We really didn’t mean to bug you.” Robin called, but before you knew it, you ran away, into the doors of the saloon. Bullshit, you thought. Those gossiping ladies knew exactly what they were doing.
~
You recounted this story to Gus, sitting at his bar counter, while he served you a sandwich for lunch.
“They’ve all asked me, you know. Whether or not you’re dating someone officially.” Gus smiled, his mustache rising with his lips.
“What did you say?” You took a giant bite of the delicious chicken salad sandwich Gus had made freshly for you. With extra pickles, of course. Gus had gotten to know you really well in the time since your arrival. Probably because you hated cooking for yourself and eating alone, so you came here at least once a day.
“Don’t worry.” Gus chuckled. “I will never spread anything you tell me. I promise.” He said kindly. You believed him. Gus had been a genuine friend since your first day here, and had given you no reason not to trust him fully. You smiled as you considered the possibility that Gus was probably your best friend right now. You thought of your friend from college, Cherise, and wondered what she would think of you becoming chummy with a 40+ man. She’d probably roll her eyes and accuse you of having a sugar daddy. Then, she’d tell you to at least consider being friends with Monica, your mutual friend, before you gave the best friend slot to an old dude.
You looked around the saloon, triple checking there were no other customers currently at the saloon. “Can I tell you something, then?” You asked. You were dying to get someone’s opinion on your night with Shane.
“Of course.”
“Well…” You leaned forward, and Gus did, too. “Last night, Shane came to my house and…”
“You slept with him?” Gus assumed.
“No! Not slept- but like, almost? He kissed me, and then I asked if he was drunk, and then he kept apologizing and left.” You whispered.
“Shane… He’s a mixed up person. If you’re going down that road, I’d go carefully.” Gus warned. “I know you’ve gone on a date with Sam…”
“And Sebastian.” You added quietly.
“Oh, and Sebastian… Okay, well… Does Shane know that?” Gus asked, absentmindedly wiping a glass out with a microfiber cloth.
“Yes.” You took another bite of your sandwich, a pickle sliding out from the bread and landing on your white plate.
“Hm. I don’t know what to make of that. Shane’s kept to himself, except for with me, and with Marnie and Jas. For him to open up… I don’t know, y/n.” Gus shook his head, placing the clean glass on the counter.
“He told me to forget it happened.”
“Give him time. I’d wait for him to bring it up. He’s fragile, you know. He probably feels like he forced you into something.”
You thought of how guilty he looked, and how he kept apologizing. “I think you’re right, Gus. But that’s not what happened.”
“Still, I’d wait. Just pretend it didn’t happen for now, until Shane works out what to think about it. He’s mixed up, I tell ya…” Gus sighed. “I’ll see if he talks to me about it. If he does, I’ll gently tell him to talk to you, okay?”
“Okay.” You said, satisfied. It made burdens lighter, sharing them with friends. There wasn’t anyone else you felt like you could share with, especially since Abby had kissed you. Gus was a third-party that you were grateful for.
~
You finished your meal, and headed down to the beach for a walk to clear your head.
The wind, the fresh air, the call of seagulls nearby, there was no doubt the beach was one of your favourite places. When you were young, your dad used to take you to the beach, and he’d make a bunch of sandcastles with you. You’d make enough to have a sandcastle city.
You peeled off your sandals, feeling the warm and gritty sand between your toes. Each step sent you teetering unevenly, sliding in opposite directions, like the sand always did. You loved it.
You saw Elliot standing by the dock, and approached him. His hair was blowing in the wind, red and brown strands flowing wildly, yet neatly.
“Elliot.” You called.
He turned around, smiling. Today he was wearing light beige pants, and a white dress shirt. It was probably the most casual you had ever seen him dressed. “Hello, y/n. Came to look at the waves?”
“Yeah.” You said, sighing, taking in the salty sea air. You approached him, standing next to him, and placed your sandals onto the ground.
“There’s something calming about the breath of the waves, moving in and out, never stopping… Crashing lightly…”
“So poetic.” You smiled.
“They’re too beautiful not to be. So, how are you, y/n? We haven’t spoken in a few days.”
You thought of the egg festival, and how drunk you had gotten from the spiked punch. You grew red, wondering if Elliot had seen you like that. “I’m okay. You?” You stared at the receding shoreline.
“Good. The flower dance approaches, y/n. Have you found a partner yet?” He asked.
“No. It’s not for a few days, and Haley told me people ask right at the dance” You said. “I’m kind of dreading people asking me.”
“Why is that?”
“I have a feeling more than one will ask and I don’t know what to do about that.” You thought about Sam and Sebastian.
“Your beauty is appreciated by many. Take it as a compliment.” Elliot smiled, his white teeth reflecting the sun. You noticed how flawless and even his skin was.
“I’d rather not dance at all.” You admitted.
“But you should. Perhaps you’d rather dance with a friend?” Elliot suggested.
“What are you saying?”
“Well, maybe you’d like to dance with me?” Elliot asked, his eyes gazing evenly into yours.