Emotion

The hospital room smelled sterile. The air was thick, and she couldn’t even stop crying. Everything about today had been horrible and she didn’t even know how to process anything anymore. The flatline beep from the machine connected to her sister filled her ears, tears brimming her eyes and blurring her vision until she shut them tight, hearing the rushed footsteps and voices.

Everyone was being urged out of the room while the nurses and doctors worked. Worked to keep the young girl alive.

Siyeon looked over, seeing her little sister clinging to her parents, all three of them in some kind of tight embrace. She stood a bit away, leaning against the hallway wall, slowly sliding down until her rear hit the floor. She buried her face in her hands, silently sobbing as she started to process everything.

Her sister was gone and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

She didn’t know how she was able to get her phone out of her pocket. She didn’t even know how she managed to text the two people she barely tolerated the news. Her brain reasoned that it was just so they were aware that she wouldn’t make as many visits anymore. That she would stay home as agreed.

It felt like hours had passed before she felt two pairs of hands on her arms, helping her and easing her through everything. When Siyeon finally looked up, she saw Bora kneeling in front of her. She saw the tears in the older woman’s eyes, and she knew that she was hurting just as much as she was.

“Please don’t leave me…” Siyeon managed to spit out, holding Bora’s hands tightly.

“I won’t…” Bora frowned.

The blonde had somehow leaned forward, allowing herself to be comforted by the two people she hadn’t grown entirely comfortable with. She felt a hand on her back, allowing her to look up and see Dong crouched next to her.

“You can’t leave me either…” She cried while clinging to Bora’s shirt.

“We won’t… We promise,” Dong whispered.

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“Siyeon?”

The blonde snapped out of her daze, seeing the entirety of her little room sideways. It had been a few days since her therapy session and she was not feeling great.

Her mood had dropped, her will to get out of bed had decreased, and everything had begun to be too much all over again. She was barely eating and barely herself.

“Baby… You gotta eat something today…” Dong’s voice was quiet and much closer than before. Siyeon blinked slowly, not entirely sure how she was still alive. “Come on… Try to please?” The younger woman helped her sit up, struggling slightly since she was entirely dead weight. “Just a little bit of water?” She tried to reason with her, seeing the distant look in her eyes.

“Anything?” Bora frowned while leaning against the doorframe of the room.

“No…” Dong sighed.

“How did her session go?” Bora whispered.

“It was heavy… I didn’t get details because… Confidentiality purposes, but the therapist warned that since it was heavy… She would probably withdraw into herself again,” Dong explained with a sigh. “I just need her to drink a little bit…” She frowned.

Bora stepped into the bedroom, kneeling in front of the dazed woman that was now sitting up for the first time in a few days. She placed her hands on Siyeon’s knees, rubbing them gently before looking up at her.

“You made us promise… Not to leave you Siyeon-ah…” Bora whispered. “But you’re kind of leaving us right now… And we can’t be with you if you leave…” She frowned.

Dong watched as the blonde slowly moved her hand to Bora’s, holding her fingers and pinching at the skin. It was progress. They stayed silent for a few moments, letting Siyeon reground herself with reality before they saw the tears brimming her eyes.

“We’re here,” Dong whispered, reminding her that she wasn’t alone.

Little things set Siyeon off. Very, very little things. Things that never happened often. Certain smells triggered little memories from her childhood, specific sounds that would only show up in the summertime if they went to certain places… And high, intense emotions with a sudden tiny news break would make her drop. Drop into a very low place.

This was exactly what Siyeon had spoken about during her session, how she experienced a very high and intense morning, only to be told she would be alone all day. It caused a hard drop, and she had withdrawn into herself, throwing herself right back into the dark place she barely escaped from a year ago.

The couple was always careful with their words, and how they delivered specific news and were always making sure that someone was home with Siyeon instead of her staying home alone. If either one had to go somewhere, they took her with them. Unless they absolutely couldn’t. Then they would try to deliver the news carefully when Siyeon was mellow.

To avoid moments like this.

By nightfall, Siyeon was in a hot bath with her back resting against Dong’s front. She had eaten a small amount of food and drank a little bit of water. Enough for the couple to ease their worries for the night.

Bora sat next to the tub, arms resting on the little wall, watching them in comfortable silence, allowing them to relax now that Siyeon was a little better.

“Sing…?” Bora whispered, watching the blonde slowly look over at her. “Are you okay?” She asked, watching her shake her head. “Do you need time to find your voice again?” She whispered, watching her nod her head.

“You take all the time you need,” Dong whispered before pressing a kiss to the back of her head. “We’ll wait for you no matter what.”

Siyeon leaned further back, letting out a tiny sigh. She felt Dong’s arms wrap tighter around her waist, allowing her to close her eyes and let herself be held. Everything felt as if it was barely being held together. She felt as if everything was just going to topple over and that her insides would be an entire mess on the floor. But Dong was holding her together. Keeping everything inside where it needed to be.