week twelve
“I’m sure you are aware that this is our last class before the exams. Today we will revise what we have been working on in this semester to make sure everyone is ready for the test next week. Just a reminder, the exam will be held in this classroom at ten in the morning.”
The class nods in unison as Ms. Santiago finishes her quick announcement. She passes handouts to every student, making sure everyone has all the copies. “Let us start in page one. Do the first three exercises as a warmup, we will check it together in a minute.”
Steve sighs, looking to his left side form the corner of his eye. Bucky’s there, sitting with Natasha as usual. They’re both focused on the sheets in front of them, the girl scribbling something down furiously.
Steve hasn’t talked to Bucky since yesterday. The brunette said he’ll text him but Steve’s fallen asleep with a phone in his hand, no new messages. He has a pretty good idea why that’s the case, but, still, he wishes they could just move past his stupid stunt. So, he was going to kiss Bucky, so what? People do crazy things when they half asleep. Right?
The blonde scowls, looking at the handout in front of him like it personally offended him. Sure, looking at Bucky’s lips and leaning in wasn’t his greatest idea, but, in his defense, his mind was hazy and Bucky’s lips were just inches away from his. Plus, the way Bucky bit his lower lip was just sinful and Steve couldn’t be held accountable for being drawn to it, everyone would be. Besides, it’s not like anything happened between them, not really. Well, nothing Steve wanted to happen anyway.
He picks up his pencil and taps its end against his mouth. Steve knows the awkwardness between them is his fault. Instead of saying something, anything, he fled to his bedroom and barely spared the other man a second glance. He didn’t even apologize for Christ’s sake. He could’ve said his hearing aid was turned off and he had to read Bucky’s lips. Hell, he could’ve said he was dizzy and needed a second to regain his composure. That’d probably make Bucky worried, but at least the brunette wouldn’t have a clue about Steve’s stupid crush on him. Bringing this up now is way too late and would only make things worse, Steve recons.
So, he didn’t say anything when Bucky came to class just a minute before it started. Steve smiled at him and Bucky nodded back but that was about it. They haven’t exchanged a single word since yesterday and Steve finds himself already missing the guy.
God, it’s pathetic. Bucky probably doesn’t want to have anything to do with him. What kind of a friend tries to kiss the other one right after falling asleep on them? It was stupid and, if Steve could turn back time, he’d do his best to stay awake.
He can’t though so now he’s stuck in his last Spanish class before the exam, thinking about how pink Bucky’s lips were, instead of focusing on the task at hand.
“America? Read the first three examples, please,” Ms. Santiago looks at the girl and she reads out loud, all of them correct.
Steve tries his best to write down everything she says, and he almost nails it. Almost. The next one to read is Kate and Steve puts down everything she says, too. He hasn’t done any example, too lost in his own thoughts to even read the instructions, and now he’s beginning to panic. He glances at the other exercises, getting a hang of what it’s about, and trying hard to come up with answers. When his turn comes, he racks his brain and gives only one bad answer. Steve mentally gives himself a pat on the back, his hard work finally paying off, and decides to fully focus on the lesson. Before that however, he sends a quick text to Sharon, asking her to not wait for him as he’ll be in a hurry going to work. He feels bad about lying, but he can’t face talking to Bucky in front of both Sharon and Natasha, knowing Natasha probably has a pretty good idea of what happened yesterday.
Steve slips his phone back to his pocket just as Ms. Santiago has them read the instructions for the next exercise.
*
“Steve? Is that you?”
“Yeah, Ma, I’m home,” the blonde closes the doors behind himself, leans against it, and takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. He’s dead tired after working another closing shift, the shop being busier than usual. He guesses he could’ve expected that, with the exams starting on Monday and all the students needing an extra shot of caffeine. Still, all he wants to do is crawl into bed and never leave.
“Well, come on in then, leanbh,” Sarah chuckles, sticking her head out of the kitchen to usher Steve inside. “I’m just about to take the rolls out the oven.”
“Just a sec, Ma,” he promises, taking off his beanie and unwrapping his scarf. He shrugs off his winter coat, then toes off his shoes and takes his bag to his room. He changes quickly into his sweatpants and a worn out hoodie, then goes to the kitchen and drops a quick kiss on Sarah’s cheek. “It smells amazing.”
“Well, I’m glad, because I’ve made plenty,” she smiles, taking the trays out and, damn, she wasn’t kidding. Steve gapes at at least forty cinnamon rolls laying on the cooling rack.
“You’ve got an army to feed?”
“You might think so. I figured you can give some to your friends tomorrow, you’ll need the extra energy to study.”
“Thanks,” Steve gives her an grateful smile, fixing himself a glass of water. He downs it in one go and puts it in the sink, intending to wash it in a second. He leans against the kitchen island and bows his head, breathing deeply.
“What’s wrong?” Sarah arches her eyebrow, sitting on a stool next to him.
“Nothin’. I’m just tired,” Steve figures it’s not technically a lie, because he actually is tired. He wants to tell her everything about Bucky, of course he does, but he doesn’t have the energy to go through it right now. He knows Sarah would be more than happy to hear about his crush, and she would most likely have a solution to his current situation, he just doesn't want to think about it. Steve feels bad about not telling her about how close the two of them are, how Bucky puts a smile on his face, and makes his stomach clench in a good way. How warm and mushy he feels whenever the guy calls him “Stevie,” and how he draws Bucky over and over again. There’s no point in telling her all the good stuff now, only to end with his stupid attempt at a kiss. So, he puts all those thought about Bucky aside, and plasters a smile on his face. “You need my help with anythin’?”
“No, leanbh, go get some rest,” she squeezes his arm gently and gets up.
Steve nods his head, even though Sarah can’t see it as she has her back to him, and pushes himself up. He does the dishes and leaves the kitchen, wishing his Ma a goodnight on his way out. Steve goes to his bedroom and falls down on his bed, reaching for his phone, which he left on the nightstand.
Aces
Sam: tomorrow
Sam: our place
Sam: study date
Peggy: 4 on the dot
Shar: kk
Peggy: Steve?
Steve: yeah ok
Sam: take your book my dear aces we’re nailin those exams
Shar: someone’s positive
Sam: someone’s had 4 study dates this week
Shar: someone’s bragging
Sam: well duh
Peggy: both of you shut up
Steve: i support that
Sam: yall are no fun
Shar: how dare you
Steve: im muting you
Sam: rude
Sam: also, good idea
Steve laughs, locking his phone and throwing it on the bed somewhere. He gets up, takes off his hearing aid and glasses and goes for a quick shower. When he’s back, he crawls into bed, yawning, and checks his phone. There are no new messages and his heart sinks. He hasn’t really been expecting anything, but it still feels like a blow to the face.
*
Steve comes back home late in the evening. The lights are out, the only source of light in the apartment coming from under Sarah’s bedroom doors. Steve smiles, unable to help himself, as he knows his Ma was waiting for him to come home. He takes off his beanie and unwraps his scarf, then toes off his shoes and shrugs off his coat. He goes straight to his bedroom, too tired to do anything else. Steve takes out his hearing aid and drops his bag by the door, deciding to deal with it tomorrow. He grabs his pajamas and goes to the bathroom, changing quickly and relieving himself. Steve goes back to his bedroom and flops down on his bed, covering himself with a duvet.
He feels like his brain went to overload from studying so much. Sure, he, Sam, Peggy, and Sharon talked about their lives too, Steve choosing to omit the subject of nearly kissing Bucky, but they mostly studied as the exams start next week. Steve doesn't have so many written test, but the ones he does are massive. He can already feel how studying and working affects his body, as he feels even weaker than usual. His head hurts and his throat is itchy, but he chooses to ignore it for the time being. He’ll take meds in the morning and hope he’ll make it through next week.
Steve’s just about to take off his glasses, and turn the night lamp off, when his phone’s screen lights up.
Bucky Barnes: steve
Bucky Barnes: steeeviiie
Bucky Barnes: roger
Bucky Barnes: s*
Bucky Barnes: long time nosee
Bucky Barnes: i mean one day but longggg
Bucky Barnes: sup
Steve’s eyebrows knit together. Obviously, Bucky’s drunk. Steve just wonders where he is, and who’s with him, hoping the guy is not alone at a bar somewhere.
Steve Rogers: hey buck where are u?
Bucky Barnes: nat’s
Bucky Barnes: no wait
Bucky Barnes: clints
Steve lets out a breath, relieved. Bucky’s safe with his friends. Still, Steve doesn’t wanna take advantage of the fact the other man’s drunk, and might say something he’ll regret later.
Steve Rogers: have fun!
Bucky Barnes: how
Bucky Barnes: ur not here
Steve’s stomach makes a weird flip as the next message from Bucky comes. It’s a picture of him, Natasha, and Clint; Bucky’s in the middle, his hair loose and disheveled. He's holding a beer bottle slightly under his lips which are turned into the biggest pout Steve’s ever seen. Bucky’s eyebrows are slightly raised and his eyes are glassy, pupils blown, showing how drunk he really is. Natasha and Clint are on both of his sides, similar expressions on their faces. Clint looks absolutely drunk too, holding a slice of pizza in his hand. Natasha is the only one looking somewhat sober, although her makeup is slightly smudged, and her eyes are a bit glassy.
Steve bites down hard on his lip, his heart beating hard. Even drunk, Bucky somehow manages to look adorable.
Steve Rogers: next time
Bucky Barnes: pinky promise
Steve Rogers: promise
Bucky Barnes: ur the best
Steve shakes his head, chuckling softly under his nose. He puts his phone down and takes off his glasses. Closing his eyes, he still fights off a grin.
*
Steve’s pacing in the living room, going back and forth between the couch and the window. Bucky’ll be there any minute now, as he still has to sign the painting Steve’s to turn in today. It’s Wednesday and he’s got only to exams left: art history and Spanish. The next two days will be stressful but he’s got something to look for; Sam, Peggy, Sharon and him are going out for drinks on Friday. Steve’s already taken a day off at work, knowing he’ll be too tired to pull off a six hours shift. He’s also not feeling that great, his head pounding and his throat itchy. He knows he shouldn’t ignore it, and should go to see his doctor, but he’s got too many things to do and he can’t afford to stay in bed. Besides, after this week, he has two weeks without any classes so he can keep it up for two more days.
There’s a knock on the door and Steve jumps a little, startled. He goes to open it and lets Bucky inside. They haven’t seen each other since their last Spanish class, but they’ve texted some more since Saturday night. Bucky called him on Sunday, apologizing for his drunken texts. His voice was hoarse and he lacked his usual humor, probably hungovered. They talked for a while, Steve repeating his promise of going for a beer with him, Natasha and Clint. They had to hang up pretty quick though, as Steve had some more studying to do and Bucky, well, wasn’t feeling so hot. They texted back and forth since then, none of them mentioning the incident, as Steve refers to trying to kiss Bucky in his head. Steve asked the other man when he’ll be able to come and sign the paining and they both agreed on today.
“Hi,” Bucky says, his lips curling in a small smile. He’s dressed in dark washed jeans and a hoodie, his winter jacket unzipped. He comes inside and pulls his scarf from around his neck, toeing off his boots.
“Come on in,” Steve motions for him to go further into the apartment and reaches for the painting that’s near the couch. He places it on the coffee table and gives Bucky a sharpie.
“Thanks,” the brunette mumbles, crouching down and putting his signature. He flips the paining and looks at it, mesmerized. “Can I take a picture?” Bucky asks timidly, his eyes not meeting Steve’s.
“Sure,” Steve shrugs, giving him the go ahead. Bucky pulls his phone out of his pocket and snaps a quick photo. He looks at it for a second, his expression unreadable.
“‘S amazing, Steve,” Bucky says quietly, finally looking up.
Steve feels a blush spreading on his face. “Thanks,” he mumbles, not sure how to take a compliment.
They’re standing so close, he can smell the aftershave Bucky must’ve used this morning. Steve looks at the brunette, taking in the soft waves framing his face, the red tip of his nose from the cold outside, the shining red of his lower lip from when he bit it. Steve swallows down hard, feeling his ears go hot. He wants to close the gap between them, and hug Bucky like his life depended on it. They lock eyes and Steve gets so lost in the icy blues, he feels like Bucky can tell everything that’s going on inside his head.
The moment breaks though as a cough shakes Steve’s small frame. He turns away, covering his lips as he feels his lungs rattle. The blonde clears his throat, wincing slightly at the pain, and runs a hand through his hair. Bucky gives him a look, but Steve just shrugs sheepishly, not wanting to worry the brunette.
“Steve?”
“I’m fine,” he assures quickly. Steve can see Bucky’s still not convinced, so he decides to change the subject. “Hey, so about that drink. I, uh… Well, Sam, Peggy, Sharon and I wanna go out on Friday. Maybe, um… Maybe you wanna join?” He fumbles with the hem of his flannel unconsciously.
“Yeah, sure. I’ll tell Nat and Clint.”
“Yeah, of course. That’s--yeah,” Steve wants to facepalm himself. Why is making a coherent sentence so hard all of a sudden?
“I’ll see you on Friday, then,” Bucky smiles, but Steve can immediately tell something’s on his mind. He looks down, biting on his lip and furrowing his brows and the blonde waits. Bucky doesn’t say anything though, only shakes his head slightly and retreats back to the entry hall. He puts on his boots and throws a scarf around his neck. The brunette opens the door, turning around to send a shy smile to Steve, then closes the doors behind himself.