None the Wiser
“Pete, you’re going to be fine. I’ll be there the whole time.”
Peter was sitting at the counter pouting, “They’re not even bothering me. This is stupid.” He grumbled, then winced as pain shot through his jaw.
Bucky raised an eyebrow, amused and concerned, as put the last dish on the drying rack and dried his hands off, “Uh huh.”
Bucky had never seen Peter look so anxious before. He was fiddling with something on his jacket, staring off into space. Bucky could only imagine what was going through his head. He leaned against the counter, getting eye level with Peter, “Hey.” Peter met his gaze, “You’re going to be fine. They’re going to give you something for your anxiety and then you’re going to take a nap and when you wake up, I will be right there and we can go home. Okay?”
Peter didn’t look convinced, but he nodded, "Okay."
Bucky walked around the counter and poked Peter gently in the side, which made the teenager giggle, "Cheer up, kid." Bucky said gruffly, but he pulled Peter into a soft hug. The kid buried his face in Bucky’s chest.
Bucky didn’t like waiting rooms much, but Peter acted like he was a vampire walking into a church. After they had signed in, Bucky and Peter sat in the squeaky chairs and waited. Bucky scrolled through his phone, but Peter fidgeted with his fingers, his shirt, and his jeans. He tapped his fingers on the armrests of the chair and jiggled his leg up and down.
“Talk to me, Pete.”
Peter jumped at Bucky’s voice, despite its softness, “I’m fine.”
Bucky remained unconvinced, “Give me a number.”
As Peter struggled more and more with his anxiety, Peter, Bucky, and Peter’s therapist had developed a rating system as a way for Peter to explain how he was feeling. 1 meant he was perfectly fine, 10 meant he was having a panic attack.
Peter hesitated, “7.”
Bucky set his phone down and locked his eyes on Peter, “Hey. Look at me.” Peter didn’t stop fiddling with his shirt, but hesitantly met Bucky’s eyes, “I know you’re scared, but it’s going to be over soon and it’ll make you feel so much better. I’m not going to let anything happen to you and when you wake up, we can go home and sleep.” Peter’s lower lip trembled, “I love you and I think that you’re being really brave right now.”
Peter didn’t answer, just laid his head against Bucky’s shoulder. Reactively, Bucky brushed a hand through Peter’s hair.
The nurse at the desk stood, “Peter Parker?”
Peter tensed, but stood up and he and Bucky followed the nurse back.
The nurse motioned for Peter to sit down and Bucky took a protective stance by Peter’s side.
“I’m going to put this IV in, okay? It’s going to give you all the medicine you need.”
Peter didn’t speak, but nodded and held his right arm out. Bucky noticed Peter’s left hand flex, then tighten to a fist, so he wove his fingers between Peter’s without another word. Peter gave Bucky a grateful look.
The nurse inserted the needle swiftly and Peter winced a bit. Then she secured it on his arm with tape and moved to prepare the Valium.
Bucky rubbed his thumb over the top of Peter’s hand soothingly. There was a silence that fell over the room, besides the sounds of the nurse working. Peter’s chest was rising and falling faster than Bucky would’ve liked, but he wasn’t sure what to do about it.
“Okay, Peter, this is an anti-anxiety medication to help you feel more relaxed.”
Peter squeezed Bucky’s hand a little tighter as the medication was injected into the IV. Bucky squeezed back, still attempting to soothe Peter from his position at his side.
“Number?”
”5,” Peter mumbled, already relaxing as the medication coursed through his veins.
“Hey, that’s good,” Bucky said, smiling softly.
The nurse hung the IV bag, making sure Bucky saw her so she didn’t have to disturb Peter.
“I’ll be right here when you wake up, okay? Then we’ll go home and we can watch a movie.”
”Can we watch A New Hope?” Peter said sleepily.
Bucky reaches out and pushed Peter’s hair out of his eyes, “Sure thing, pal.”
There was a pause, “‘m tired, Buck.”
Bucky smiles, “I know, bud. You can go to sleep. I’m here.”
Peter didn’t answer but pulled into a deep sleep.
The nurse smiled, “You’re welcome to wait in the lobby. We’ll let you know when he’s waking up.”
Having a son had made Bucky soft.
The whole hour, all Bucky could think about was Peter.
Is he okay? Is he going to be in pain when he wakes up? What if he wakes up during the surgery? What if he gets sick afterward? What if-
Bucky’s thoughts were interrupted when Peter’s nurse opened the door again, “If you’ll follow me.”
The nurse led Bucky down the hall, past the room Bucky had deposited Peter in, to a small room that only held a couch, a table, and two chairs.
Peter was laying on the couch, wrapped in a blanket
“The procedure went just fine. He’ll probably be a little drowsy for a while and he might want to sleep when he gets home. Just make sure he’s eating soft foods like soup or rice. No drinking through straws for a while and make sure he’s careful when he brushes his teeth. Let me know if you have any questions! We can sign the discharge papers whenever you’re ready.” With that, the nurse smiled and closed the door.
Bucky walked over to the couch and sat down next to Peter, “Hey, bud, how are you feeling?”
Peter crawled into Bucky’s lap and lay his head on Bucky’s chest, “‘m tired.”
Bucky chuckled and wrapped his arms around Peter gently, “Yeah, I know, pal. Are you feeling sick?”
Peter shook his head as best he could, “Face hurts.”
Bucky nodded, “I know. I’ve got some meds for you to take at home. As soon as you’re feeling okay to walk, we can go home.”
Peter bolted up, “I can walk!” He exclaimed, then wobbled.
Bucky chuckled and caught Peter, pulling him back on the couch, “Slow your roll, kid. They literally brought you in here in a wheelchair.” He joked, eyeing the chair in the corner, “Take your time. We’ve got plenty of it.”
Peter seemed to settle at that and nestled into Bucky. They sat for a while longer, Bucky humming softly and playing with Peter’s hair.
When Peter confirmed he felt well enough to walk, Bucky signed the discharge papers quickly and helped Peter back into the car.
Peter didn’t say much on the car ride home. He was now covered up with one of Bucky’s large jackets and slowly falling asleep again
“Hey, pal? Don’t fall asleep yet. Okay? Steve said he’ll be home around 4.”
Peter whined but sat up and rubbed his eyes.
They pulled up to the tower and Bucky walked around to the passenger side to help Peter out of the car. Instead, when he opened the door, Peter latched onto Bucky and refused to let go Bucky groaned good-naturedly and hoisted Peter up, laying the jacket over him.
He was gentle walking up the stairs, then he unlocked the door and deposited Peter on the couch with a blanket.
Bucky knelt by the couch, “I’m going to go get you some ice, and something for the pain, and a glass of water. I’ll be right back, okay?”
He stood but Peter grabbed his wrist and said nothing. Bucky knelt down again at eye level with Peter, “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Don’t go,” Peter whined, taking Bucky’s hand and putting it in his own hair.
Bucky scratched his scalp lightly, “I’m not going anywhere, Pete. I’m just going to go to the kitchen to get some stuff to make you feel better.”
Peter’s breaths were getting more and more shallow, “Hey, bud, can you give me a number?”
Peter took two short breaths then, “10.”
Bucky moved immediately, “Okay.” He grunted a bit as he stood up and sat next to Peter on the couch. He pulled Peter into his lap and wrapped his arms securely around him, “Alright, pal, deep breaths.” Peter tried, but it was shaky and shallow, “I know this is scary, but you’re doing such a good job. You did a good job at the doctor’s office and I’m going to help you get through this.”
Peter pressed his forehead to Bucky’s shoulder, his little body working as hard as it could to get some air in Peter, “Do you want to go lay down in my bed?”
Peter shook his head vigorously, “Okay, okay. You’re doing great, pal, keep taking those deep breaths. I love you so much, Pete.”
Peter’s breathing was slowing and Peter’s fingers were twisted in Bucky’s shirt, “‘m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry, pal, that’s what I’m here for,” Bucky replied.
They sat in silence for a bit, then Peter began to fidget in Bucky’s lap, “What’s wrong?”
Peter didn’t quite reply, “Ow.” He whined.
Bucky lifted Peter up with him, “Let’s go get some meds, yeah?”
Bucky sat Peter on the kitchen counter where he could see everything, then grabbed the pain meds that Bruce had made and a bottle of water from the fridge. He brought them back over to Peter, “You feel okay to take these?”
Peter nodded and downed the pill, followed by a large sip of water. He cringed in pain a bit as the water brushed over his sensitive mouth. When Bucky was sure Peter had swallowed the pill, he reached into the freezer and pulled out an ice pack wrapped in a towel. Peter took it gratefully and held it to his swollen cheek.
Bucky reached out and picked Peter up once more, carrying him to the couch, where they both lay down.
The disc already in the player, Bucky loaded the Star Wars movie Peter has requested, then settled in to watch.
Peter lay on Bucky’s chest fiddling with Bucky’s shirt a bit. The opening crawl scrolled across the screen.
“How are you feeling?”
Peter wiggled a bit, pushing closer to Bucky. Bucky wrapped his arm around Peter a little tighter, “Better.”
As Luke approached a decimated farm, Bucky cast a downward glance in Peter’s direction.
Peter’s eyes were closed in a light sleep. His breathing was steady, a sharp contrast to his panicked demeanor earlier. His eyelids fluttered but didn’t open.
The lock at the door clicked and in walked Steve. Bucky put a finger to his lips, motioning for him to be quiet but it was too late; Peter stirred and made bleary eye contact with Steve.
Steve smiled, “Hey, Pete!” He whispered, brushing his fingers through Peter’s hair, “How are you feeling?”
Peter leaned into the touch as Bucky watched on fondly, “Good.”
Steve smiles, “That’s good. You feeling hungry?” Steve motioned to the bag he was holding, “I brought some soup and stuff home.”
Peter nodded sleepily, “Alright, well then, why don’t you and Bucky keep watching and I’ll go heat this up?” Then, Steve leaned down to Bucky, placing a chaste kiss on his lips, “Hi you.”
“Hey.” Bucky reached his free hand up and put it on Steve’s cheek, pulling him in once more.
Before Steve walked off to the kitchen, he pulled a fuzzy blanket off the other side of the couch and tucked it tightly around his family. Peter nestled close to Bucky, allowing the blanket to envelop him. They lay in silence for a little while longer, enjoying each other's company and letting the John Williams score float around their heads.
"Buck?" Peter mumbled, mostly into Bucky's chest.
"Yeah?"
There was a pause, and then a whisper. It was so quiet that Bucky wasn't sure if he had imagined the words or not, "I love you."
Bucky's heart swelled with pride and adoration and love, "I love you too, Pete." He kissed the top of Peter's head and rubbed a soothing hand over his back, "So much."